English Major Wank
First OTF Wank. Be gentle. Use lube.

The english_majors community on LJ is usually a quiet place where those who've chosen to walk the path to the dark side of the Liberal Arts degree can gather and share thoughts on their literary pursuits.

Enter jennad, who comes bearing a simple question: Is it possible to get a BA without having to write a paper over 5 pages in length?



Most of the replies are variants of "OMG U h8t riting Y R U an English major?"

bassgtrchk writes: I hate to say this, but people who really hate writing that much probably don't know how to do it properly, because really, it's such a wonderful skill and accomplishment. If that doesn't convince you, then maybe you should rethink your major. English isn't just about reading, it's about analysis and criticism, which is what papers are for. If you just want to read and talk about things, then join Oprah's book club.

Which apparently hurts jennad's ickle feelings, because she responds with: You are a huge bitch. Thanks for the welcome and encouragement.

She also writes: I am a great writer. I have never gotten less than a B on a paper. I do not need a peer editor. I can write. I just don't want to or enjoy it whatsoever.

immediately followed by: That's a lie. I have gotten a C, in Shakespeare, of all things.

And is it my diseased imagination, or did she just somehow invoke a variant of Snacky's Law?

It burns. Yet I cannot look away.


ETA: Ah, fuck. She baleeted comments on the original post. Luckily, the wank continues.