What did Jesus ever do to you Brad?
Terrajen leaves a message Brad on Livejournal's official voicemail:

Oh.. hah!
Sup brad.. This is Jen

I'm.. calling to voice my displeasure about the recent banning of some LJ members that were members of S A L J, not SALJ like.. some shitheads would call it... it's S A L J.

Umm, I don't understand why supporting a Christian Rock band is a violation of the TOS.. because... it's not!

Seriously.. what's wrong with being Christian? what did Jesus ever do to you Brad?

Um.. and yeah.. not only am I upset about you being a Nazi.. I'm really upset about the fact that my friends of list has been.. like.. reduced by at least seven people.. since yesterday... and that really sucks 'cause I had just recently hit like 200 on my friends of page..

And now it's like 193 so you're seriously hindering my attempts at becoming popular on the Internet... and that makes you a douche bag! ... Brad..

but um.. I have a proposition to make.. if you're up for it.. you need to unban all of my friends...

Um, that you banned since yesterday and if you do i'll make the ultimate sacrifice and have sex with you... as long as you don't wear a furry suit because... furries are just gross... and they're an abomination and... I would rather get fucked by futhman than get fucked by a furry... so yeah... please unban all my friends.

It will be a win-win situation 'cause then you'll get laid... my friends of page count goes up and my friends get their LJs back... so it works...
and... that's really all I have to say so...

Bye Brad...

I hope you think this over and take it seriously please, cause I'm not kidding around.

Brad posts an mp3 of the voicemail.

People wank reply including (but not limited to) an anonymous pimp LJ user, who posts a picture of the actually really hot terrajen with "dude, i will totally hook you up with terrajen if you get my suspended account reinstated."

Jen responds with the explanation for everything:


CALLING LJ HOTLINE:
What did Jesus ever do to you, Brad?!

HOLY SHIT I AM DRUNK