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	(Anonymous) 2004-09-30 04:37 am UTC (link)
	Now I'm offended. ~Phoenix (Reply to this)(Thread)

	sepiamagpie 2004-09-30 04:47 am UTC (link)
	HI!! (Reply to this)(Parent)

	wankprophet 2004-09-30 04:50 am UTC (link)
	You know, pretending to be phoenix isn't nice. Yeah, he was kicked off for trolling, but that doesn't make what you're doing right. He's still a human being, and humiliating him like this isn't appropriate. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	sepiamagpie 2004-09-30 04:53 am UTC (link)
	I always wanted my own Phoenix imposter. Like the real thing, but with less calories. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	ipomoea 2004-09-30 06:04 am UTC (link)
	The Diet Coke of trolls? (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	lurker32 2004-09-30 06:00 pm UTC (link)
	Caffeine-free Diet Coke. Tastes lousy and doesn't even keep you awake. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	eljuno 2004-10-01 04:51 pm UTC (link)
	Oooh, maybe I could have two or three... (Reply to this)(Parent)

	snacky 2004-09-30 04:54 am UTC (link)
	You know, this is getting tired. Sure, Phoenix is an annoying little troll, but enough. Leave him alone. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	cesare 2004-09-30 04:57 am UTC (link)
	Really really sick of the Phoenix imposters. Joke stale, go 'way now. (Reply to this)(Parent)

funkyhelix
2004-09-30 05:09 am UTC (link)

Alright, one thread was funny. Two a little dodgey. Enough already.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

	shoiryu 2004-09-30 05:31 am UTC (link)
	Word to that. It's just old. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	cimorene111 2004-09-30 07:48 am UTC (link)
	i don't mind torturing phoenix in principle, but at least do it where other people don't have to see. plus, old jokes are in principle bad. quit with the phoenix-impersonating. it's in poor taste, and it's becoming boring. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	elfy 2004-09-30 08:31 am UTC (link)
	Oh, you're so original, Mr. I'm Going To Be Soooo Cool And Impersonate Phoenix Even Though It's Deathly DULL AND BORING Now. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	beccastareyes 2004-09-30 04:40 am UTC (link)
	Why do these people still talk to he--oh wait, we talk to Phoenix, can't say much on the subject. ::eyes upthread:: Speak of the devil... (Reply to this)(Thread)

	kijikun 2004-09-30 04:43 am UTC (link)
	I think you just offened the devil. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	sepiamagpie 2004-09-30 04:47 am UTC (link)
	well, it has that brimstone and sulfur smell, but I'm not too sure. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	snacky 2004-09-30 04:58 am UTC (link)
	My dad is totally supportive of me and understands. I would stay with him in a heartbeat if he didnt have a bad temper and beat my step-mother. Best. sobstory. evah! (Reply to this)(Thread)

	ipomoea 2004-09-30 06:03 am UTC (link)
	I don't know, it lacks the pathos that "Now he dead from coke" had. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	telesilla 2004-09-30 10:41 am UTC (link)
	Or that chick who was rasied on the docks among hard men or whatever it was. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	big_bad_wolf 2004-09-30 01:25 pm UTC (link)
	Someone should totally compile an anthology of improbable internet sob stories, you know. Argh, I said "totally". (Reply to this)(Parent)

	mistressrenet 2004-09-30 08:52 pm UTC (link)
	Where did 'now he dead from coke' originally come from? (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	ymfaery 2004-09-30 10:14 pm UTC (link)
	A rather strange story someone told about her (?) boyfriend. Apparently said boyfriend was successful and popular and all that good stuff, but then became a coke addict and died, the end. (The story is supposed to be funnier when told properly.) Spawned a lot of spoof icons too. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	sepiamagpie 2004-09-30 10:15 pm UTC (link)
	the link is somewhere in my memories. I am too lazy to look it up now. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	mistressrenet 2004-10-01 01:46 am UTC (link)
	Spawned a lot of spoof icons too. I've noticed! (Reply to this)(Parent)

cleolinda
2004-10-01 01:30 am UTC (link)

Here it is!

What I heard was that it was originally told on Fametracker by someone who spoke English as a second language (I think?), which may explain a few things about the diction:

I dated a man who was much older than me when I was 20. he has a very fit body and was 45...think close to george clooney's age and he told me that if I went out w/ him, I could see what the nicer restaurants were like and how to meet men who had culture. (live in small town in sc...tired of men that chew tobacco)

he had traveled the world, owned many businesses, drove a porche, had a yacht, mansion, he was perfect

of course many other females wanted to date him and he decided we should be friends. and now he dead from coke.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	tyraarane_ 2004-10-03 05:20 am UTC (link)
	Now that deserves a Pulitzer, right there. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	lindentree 2004-10-01 04:06 am UTC (link)
	Icon love. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	wankprophet 2004-09-30 05:02 am UTC (link)
	Either way, you have to be a dumb ass trailer trash person to not buy insurance or too do something to cause an accident. It was her own damn fault she lost her car. Huh. Only trailer-trash cause accidents? I always thought that taking the wheels off the trailers when settling down was an attempt to prevent accidents. (Reply to this)(Thread)

	oulangi 2004-09-30 08:49 am UTC (link)
	What is it with these pony girls? From trash to whore in 3 posts - that's faster than I turn them out. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	kijikun 2004-09-30 07:10 pm UTC (link)
	I never would have spent those years in college if it wasn't for my horse. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	chaimonkey 2004-10-01 12:20 am UTC (link)
	I've seen that quote at DeviantArt, too. Where is it from? (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	mistressrenet 2004-10-01 02:28 am UTC (link)
	A Lewis Black routine. He overheard some woman saying it at IHOP and it drove him absolutely nuts because he couldn't figure out the WTF. "This is how people get anyeurisms, you know!" (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	kijikun 2004-10-01 03:19 am UTC (link)
	I thought he overheard it in a mall? (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	mistressrenet 2004-10-01 05:49 pm UTC (link)
	The routine I heard was at his health club-- the International House of Pancakes. I think I have it here on the hard drive somewhere... (Reply to this)(Parent)

	chaimonkey 2004-10-03 05:01 am UTC (link)
	Aha. Beautiful. I <3 Lewis Black. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	mistressrenet 2004-10-03 02:05 pm UTC (link)
	Word. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	xero_sky 2004-09-30 07:39 am UTC (link)
	If you even breathe in my direction I might have to find something dull to mail you so you can impail yourself with it. This ugliness is only made better by the fact that almost everyone's sig has cute little pictures of ponies with flowers and hearts and such. My Little Pony from Hell! (Reply to this)

	elfy 2004-09-30 08:32 am UTC (link)
	My Little Pny wank! It's so... ponyish. (Reply to this)(Thread)

	elfy 2004-09-30 08:34 am UTC (link)
	Er. PONY. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	apoplexia 2004-09-30 09:48 am UTC (link)
	Admit it, you wanted to spell it "p0ny," didn't you? (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	elfy 2004-09-30 12:17 pm UTC (link)
	Uh... no. no, I didn't. DON'T LISTEN TO HIM!!! HE'S A LIAR! (Reply to this)(Parent)

schoenschoen
2004-09-30 09:16 pm UTC (link)

My favorite part:

Rubytwosday321, I never had a Rapunzel, which is why I never went through with that deal. Those pictures were from one I had before. I just wasted your time for nothing. As for the trade. I couldnt believe you would still trade with me after all that. So I just wanted to see if you would actually send me a pony, and you did!! I was sure suprised. I never intended on sending you one, but since you went through with your end of the trade, I might as well go through with mine. Just as soon as I can, I will send you your pony. I am sorry for all the "games". That was really stupid of me. I like you because your name is similar to mine. I have always liked you. As soon as my situation gets settled, I promise I will send you your pony and something extra too for all the trouble.

Because not only does it make Baby Shenanigans look like a lying, stealing skank *and* blow huge holes in her "I run an internet business, tee hee!" story, it's also completely incomprehensible! :D (also note how many random people popped up in that thread to say "I'm sorry you're going to be a bum now - can I have the pony I paid you for 3 years ago?")

(Reply to this)(Thread)

	lurker32 2004-09-30 10:30 pm UTC (link)
	But she admits she's a lying, stealing skank, so somehow that makes it all A-OK and people should be nice to her! Uh, right. I have to second the opinion that kyoot poneeeees just make the whole thing better. "You're a rotten rancid h0r, and WindSparkler thinks so too!" (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	ICOOOOOON! northatlantic 2004-10-01 01:03 am UTC (link)
	it sucks but I had to do it. anybody who wants, take. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	Re: ICOOOOOON! lurker32 2004-10-01 01:37 am UTC (link)
	iz ded ganks Beautiful. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	Re: ICOOOOOON! ashenmote 2004-10-01 02:51 am UTC (link)
	And Ashenmote thinks so too. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	Re: ICOOOOOON! schoenschoen 2004-10-01 03:19 am UTC (link)
	Gankeded! XD I need a My Little Pony icon. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	Re: ICOOOOOON! sewingmyfish 2004-10-01 05:25 am UTC (link)
	Steals* Beautiful. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	kannaophelia 2004-10-01 05:12 am UTC (link)
	Wouldn't the part where she says she's pregnant with twins to her uncle and will carry the babies to term because she's a "real woman" but then will kill them alert most people to the fact that she's a troll? Instead, they just started talking about calling the police to save the babies... (Reply to this)