A small wank passed along by LittleBitca...
When in the course of human events, winter grips us and we go in search of warm and chocolatey refreshment, we suddenly discover wank in our drink.

littlebitca passes along this odd little "wank." At virtualchocolate.com, we have what appears to be just a lowkey cage match between competing hot chocolate recipes. One has been gleaned from the dark recesses of Ms. Bush's kitchen at www.whitehouse.gov, whilst the other appears to come from some book about a le chocolat Quixote tilting at cocoa butter sculptures or something. All well and good...until we reach the comments.

To start with, a simple analysis of why these two recipes should never be allowed in a cage together:

The vote is quite amateurish. The two recipes are incomparable for two reasons. First, the left recipe is based on cocoa powder which is profoundly different from using a chocolate bar which contains cocoa butter. Consequently the right recipe is more rich. Secondly, the ingredients in the right recipe, if using Valrhona, is of much higher quality. Ie. this is hot cocoa versus hot chocolate. I'd say it's like comparing apples with pears. The generally best hot chocolate is simply made by heated milk mixed with some high quality chocolate which fits well with milk, usually 60-72% cocoa percentage. If tempering the chocolate properly before mixing with milk, the various flavors of the chocolate will remain.

Fair enough.

But it starts getting more bizarre...from Jo of Earth, to "the murderer herself -- Ching ching china lady":

I bet!! you either terrible in catering else you plans to poison your husband anyway. Either one of you must be cheating and that's the result. I wish there's a better detective in China to solve the puzzle and put you to justice.

From "smart arse" of Dehli, In (one assumes India, but maybe he's kosher and from a corner delicatessen in Indiana):

hey u gay person tht choc was sooooooooo smelly my whole house smelllled of cow dung for a week!And it tates worse thn my gay bros odour

COurtney Gail of China helps clear up muddle the issue even more:

I'd like 2 thank this hot chocolate 4 helping me 2 comit a murder by poison. My husband died after i fed him your hotchocolate . Now i cant b charged cause it's ur fault Thanx

Abigail Turpentine plays it safe and succint:

My subject is what ur hot chocolate smells and tastes like.

And leaves it at that.

Jaz of "Jamaca" (one assumes he means Jamaica) gives us a Japanese lesson:

This hot chocolate tastes like TABEMONOOHAKU (That meens vomit in Japanese. I dont recomened this to ANYONE.

He doesn't, unfortunately, specify which recipe...guess we'll have to take our chances.

Sexual identity politics must out, courtesy of Isabella Carlson:

its the gayest recipe ever

Gerry, confused by the politics of it all, asks:

I'm sorry, but asking the First Lady for a hot chocolate recipe is almost as ridiculous as asking Paris Hilton for an apple pie recipe.

One assumes he's never seen American Pie and made the logical metaphorical leap to exactly what Paris Hilton really represents.

Some of Quebec gets way specific in measurements:

I read a really old recipe that says adding as much flour as can sit on a nickle to your hot chocolate will keep it suspended and prevent it from separating.

One assumes he means some weird French-Canadian nickel, but I'm still waiting to see.

Damian, proving that wine conneisseurs/tasters aren't the only blowhards in the epicurian world:

Chocolate has reached new heights!!! For the serious connoisseurs !!! A level of exquisite elegence and sheer audacity-- pure chuao, pure criollo amongst others....

Eric of Los Angeles is desperately seeking someone to beat his friend up until said friend reveals all:

Only once did I ever have the best hot coco. My friend refuses to tell me the secret. Usually when you make hot coco, even if you keep stearing while drinking,the chocolate always separates at the bottom of the cup. My friend made me coco that was silky and blended to the last drop without having to stear it. He must have added some secret ingridient that made a chocolate emulsion. If anybody knows what he did, please e-mail me

If any of you happen to know eric's friend, could you please get the sekrit from him. Pretty please?!?

Ah, hot chocolate. With nuts, apparently.