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Schoen-chan ([info]schoenschoen) wrote in [info]otf_wank,
@ 2004-12-30 11:55:00


Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Current mood:Baby-eating liberal
Current music:"American Woman" ~ The Guess Who

Crunchy bite-sized wank!
Now, over on Amazon.com, you can order your very own Ann Coultier talking action figure!

Naturally, since this is Amazon we're talking about, and since Ann herself is a quintessential wankerette, the comments are more than amusing.

Choice bits:

You ugly liberals are just jealous because Ann is HAWTOMG!

It's not the least bit surprising that whining liberals hate Ann Coulter so much. According to their thesis, attractive heterosexual women are supposed to be mindless simpletons: Either brain-dead and fixated on cosmetics, or chained to their kitchens by their oppressive beer-bellied husbands. Liberals are incapable of processing the idea of a woman who thinks for herself and ISN'T a whining liberal -- so every time one of them whines about how much they hate Ann Coulter, they prove just how entrenched they are in their own idiotic stereotypes.

No, I don't get it, either. O_o And I hate to say it, but I don't find her attractive in the least.

Lesbian Action Ann! Now with anal firecracker action!

If I was a kid again, I would have gotten alot of use out of the Coulter action figure...and my firecrackers and cherry bombs...then again, I could play Ann doll and Barbie get married to each other in a red state...

Icon? OTP? Anyone?

Merry Christmas, you Godless baby-eating liberal Muslim scum!

1. Great use of the word "liberal." We all know being involved in anything labeled liberal is akin to eating babies and making boots from their skins.
2. Unnatural act? If you hear someone use an impressive sounding phrase, it's good form to learn its correct usage before thoughtlessly repeating it.
3. The actual quote is from http://www.anncoulter.com and reads, "To The People Of Islam:
Just think: If we'd invaded your countries, killed your leaders and converted you to Christianity YOU'D ALL BE OPENING CHRISTMAS PRESENTS RIGHT ABOUT NOW!
Merry Christmas"


Ann's all lathered up!

My daughter loves this toy. She just wishes it wasn't so stuffy and had more clothes along the Bratz! line. The catchphrases are the best because they're in Anne's real voice: "Dinner's ready!" and "I made some brownies!" are among our favorites. And who can forget, "Why is the oil light still on?" or "I'm all lathered up!"

I'm still just waiting for someone to point out that the name 'Coultier' is OMGNOFrench.

ETA: And I just realized I'm an illiterate tool, and her name is 'Coulter', not 'Coultier'. Ugh. I liked 'Coultier' better.



(Post a new comment)


[info]frau_eva
2004-12-30 07:05 pm UTC (link)
Yeah, I think her name is English. Around the Middle Ages, a "coulter" was a name for the big blade in their most heavy-duty plow. The kind they would use to clear a forest for farmland. So, if the name is any indication, I think her ancestors have a long tradition of plowing people over with their rabid disposition.

It really saddens me that people actually like this bitch. I will give a conservative credit where its due, but DAMN! Even other conservatives have said off-camera that she's a loon. Not to mention the fact that her documentation for basically anything is crap. But I'm French, so what would I know? I'd like to see a conservative say that back in Louisiana. We'll see how long it takes a bunch of drunken Cajun rednecks to make a WASP squeal like a piggie.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]gloria_mundi
2004-12-30 07:09 pm UTC (link)
Well her ideal society is represented by the movie (I think) 1984. Hordes of shuffling, mindless automatons blindly obeying every whim of the goverment.

She's said this. She's said that 1984 represents her ideal society. Scary lady.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]frau_eva, 2004-12-30 07:15 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]gloria_mundi, 2004-12-31 08:50 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]frau_eva, 2004-12-31 04:59 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]gloria_mundi, 2005-01-01 01:28 am UTC
(no subject) - kroki_refur, 2004-12-30 08:11 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]virago, 2004-12-31 12:38 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]littlest_lurker, 2004-12-30 10:33 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]gloria_mundi, 2004-12-31 08:52 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]squib, 2004-12-31 11:42 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]gloria_mundi, 2005-01-01 01:23 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sarracenia, 2004-12-31 12:42 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]gloria_mundi, 2004-12-31 08:56 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]khym_chanur, 2004-12-31 01:11 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]terminal_frost, 2004-12-31 07:00 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]gloria_mundi, 2004-12-31 08:54 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]terminal_frost, 2004-12-31 03:01 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]gloria_mundi, 2005-01-01 01:27 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]gloria_mundi, 2004-12-31 08:54 am UTC

[info]schoenschoen
2004-12-30 07:20 pm UTC (link)
Here, have a pie chart I found through a Google picture search.

It basically deconstructs Ann's essay on Rush Limbaugh's drug abuse. And finds that more than half of the essay is made up of false statements. The other half isn't necessarily true, either - it's mostly snark and rhetorical questions.

Also, I'm wondering if perhaps the name 'Coulter' didn't at one time come from a French family - it also looks like she used the English spelling of 'Ann'. (I personally think it looks nicer with the 'e' on the end - Anne Rice has one over on her! :O)

And I like drunken Cajun rednecks. :D They're more fun than normal white rednecks.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]terminal_frost, 2004-12-31 06:53 am UTC
Alas, my native swamp.
[info]windex_junkie
2004-12-31 06:52 pm UTC (link)
I've seen a fair amount of French-basing here.

Maybe if we dipped a neocon in Jager and dragged them through Butte or something... but the French=Evil! thing's pretty big in the metro areas.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Alas, my native swamp. - [info]frau_eva, 2005-01-01 04:17 pm UTC
Re: Alas, my native swamp. - [info]windex_junkie, 2005-01-01 06:48 pm UTC
In defense of Coulter...
[info]julia
2004-12-30 07:07 pm UTC (link)
I'd bang her in a heartbeat... on the condition she'd be bound and gagged. Nothin' starts a day off right like lesbian BDSM with an uber-conservative, man.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Re: In defense of Coulter...
[info]gloria_mundi
2004-12-30 07:10 pm UTC (link)
Ah. But will you release the video over the net so that everyone can see her?

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: In defense of Coulter... - [info]julia, 2004-12-30 07:14 pm UTC
Re: In defense of Coulter... - [info]gloria_mundi, 2004-12-31 08:57 am UTC
Re: In defense of Coulter...
[info]schoenschoen
2004-12-30 07:41 pm UTC (link)
Dude, you sure about that?

Not that I can knock your noble intentions, but... da-yumn. It's not even the Adam's Apple - it's everything *else*. (also... *purple* eyeshadow? Bitch, please)

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: In defense of Coulter... - [info]rinoared, 2004-12-30 08:21 pm UTC
Re: In defense of Coulter... - [info]terminal_frost, 2004-12-31 07:15 am UTC
Re: In defense of Coulter... - (Anonymous), 2005-01-04 06:08 am UTC
Re: In defense of Coulter... - [info]julia, 2004-12-30 11:27 pm UTC
Re: In defense of Coulter... - [info]annabelle_lee, 2004-12-30 11:53 pm UTC
Re: In defense of Coulter... - [info]mistressrenet, 2004-12-31 04:13 am UTC
Re: In defense of Coulter... - [info]annabelle_lee, 2004-12-31 06:20 am UTC
Re: In defense of Coulter... - [info]mistressrenet, 2005-01-01 02:45 am UTC
Re: In defense of Coulter... - [info]visp, 2004-12-31 05:33 am UTC
Re: In defense of Coulter...
redwarrior
2005-01-03 11:03 pm UTC (link)
Word! <3

Although I'm not realy a chick, and therefore I can't be a lesbian, I wish you the best of luck.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]sewingmyfish
2004-12-30 07:11 pm UTC (link)
The catchphrases are the best because they're in Anne's real voice: "Dinner's ready!" and "I made some brownies!"
I think we may have found the perfect wife for Caesar Barber

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]wankismyfandom
2004-12-30 07:19 pm UTC (link)
I was thinking more along the lines of an inhabitant of Stepford.

jesus shitmonkeys that's the scariest movie evar.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]julia, 2004-12-30 07:20 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]senor_pinata, 2004-12-30 11:07 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]julia, 2004-12-30 11:23 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]wankismyfandom, 2004-12-31 02:53 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]littlest_lurker, 2004-12-30 11:34 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]moonjaguar, 2004-12-31 01:15 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]wankismyfandom, 2004-12-31 02:53 am UTC
(no subject) - redwarrior, 2005-01-03 11:04 pm UTC

[info]greenglass
2004-12-30 07:47 pm UTC (link)
It should be noted that the doll doesn't really look like her. Sure, it has blonde hair and has a suit, but the resemblence ends.

Ann Coutler has a much more angular face, an Adam's apple, and... Wait, nevermind.

(Reply to this)


[info]bubba_ray
2004-12-30 07:54 pm UTC (link)
I so want to breed her with Micheal Moore, law of averages says that we get an intelligent, educated, active for the common good kid that has no ability to harbour extreme opinions and looks like the lovechild between sonic and mario.

And if they kill each other before that... well I think we all win that day.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]xero_sky
2004-12-30 09:19 pm UTC (link)
Either that, or we'll get a horrible hybrid that rips its way out of its mother's abdomen, devours its father, and immediately runs for president.

*cowers*

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]dizmo, 2004-12-30 10:07 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]lurker32, 2004-12-31 12:42 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]virago, 2004-12-31 12:42 am UTC

[info]sarracenia
2004-12-31 12:45 am UTC (link)
...But I don't want either of them to breed.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]pragmatic
2004-12-30 08:59 pm UTC (link)
Ann Coulter = hot conservative nutcase.

But really, what's up with the miniskirts?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Miniskirts explained:
[info]ladybirdsleeps
2004-12-30 09:02 pm UTC (link)
Critic: What sources did you--OMG LEG!!!
Ann: *hairflip*

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Miniskirts explained: - [info]pragmatic, 2004-12-30 10:51 pm UTC
Re: Miniskirts explained: - [info]ladybirdsleeps, 2004-12-31 07:02 am UTC

[info]ladybirdsleeps
2004-12-30 09:00 pm UTC (link)
Thank God that guy knows what my thesis is, because I sure didn't until he told me.

(Reply to this)

I'm serious.
[info]marlo
2004-12-30 09:11 pm UTC (link)
I love love love Amazon's "was this review helpful to you?" It's SO SATISFYING for me to go and select "no" for each and every one of those reviews (except for the tongue-in-cheek one by the mom, because that was awesome). I am making a difference! Thumbs down to y'all, motherfuckers!

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Re: I'm serious.
[info]cleolinda
2004-12-30 11:26 pm UTC (link)
Thumbs down to y'all, motherfuckers!

I kind of want that on an icon now. Or at least a button I can pin to my bookbag.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: I'm serious. - [info]littlest_lurker, 2004-12-30 11:36 pm UTC
Re: I'm serious.
[info]iczer6
2004-12-31 02:18 am UTC (link)
I don't know I thought the person saying that 'if you love Ann buy the doll, if you hate Ann buy the doll and hammer nails into it's head' was pretty smart.

Heck this seems like a situation where everyone wins.


Icz

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]twocorpses
2004-12-31 12:31 am UTC (link)
Does anyone else find it interesting that it seems to be in the category of Tools&Hardware?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]lurker32, 2004-12-31 12:43 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]twocorpses, 2004-12-31 02:09 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]frau_eva, 2004-12-31 08:23 pm UTC
(no subject) - redwarrior, 2005-01-03 11:05 pm UTC

[info]necronomist
2004-12-31 12:37 am UTC (link)
I still got to make my Osama/Ann Coulter action figure porn.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]tempslut, 2004-12-31 01:45 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]necronomist, 2004-12-31 04:20 am UTC

[info]gal_montag
2004-12-31 03:33 am UTC (link)
According to their thesis, attractive heterosexual women are supposed to be mindless simpletons:

OMG! I didn't get the memo!

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - redwarrior, 2005-01-03 11:05 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]gal_montag, 2005-01-03 11:12 pm UTC

[info]adora_spintriae
2004-12-31 03:35 am UTC (link)
Australia is so lagging behind these days. Why don't we have our own talking Pauline Hanson doll?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-01-01 01:10 pm UTC

[info]sewingmyfish
2004-12-31 04:01 am UTC (link)
"Talking to liberals gives you wrinkles!"

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - redwarrior, 2005-01-03 11:06 pm UTC

 
   
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