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May I Please Speak to the Complaints Department ([info]ladybirdsleeps) wrote in [info]otf_wank,
@ 2005-01-19 18:41:00
Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Current music:colourful

"COLOURING IS NOT A WORD."
Over on LJ, the popular thebitingfaery posts a series of amusing images--including a photoshopped one of Bush playing D&D.

skitz0_kitty snags the first comment with:

"Okay now, Mr. President, please roll for the bombing of a foriegn nation."
"Ok-key do-key Dickie! *rolls a 3, 5, and 7* That's 18!"
"No sir, 15."
"Doesn't matter! Even means we blow them up now listen or I'm going to ignore you by making you sit in the corner."
"Sir, that won't be necessary."
"Well good. Now, where's my colouring book?!"
Then the fun starts. The strangely spooky-looking inawhile sees that extraneous u and unleashes the capslock of rage. She's deeply offended by the u (you'd think it skipped out on alimony payments), but not, apparently, by improper capitalization or punctuation:
ok you're from north carolina. COLOURING IS NOT A WORD.
Some people try to reason with her, while others just mock. My favorite part is inawhile's take on the e.e. cummings excuse:
wickerbra: The Wickercabra approves of correct English.

Those who leave out "U"s will be the first to have their souls eaten.

Along with those who leave out apostrophes in words like "DON'T".

inawhile: faulkner left out apostrophes in words like dont. It's a good thing that someone with too much time on their hands creates fake journals and makes stupid comments, though. Correct english in america doesn't have u's, sorry.
There's also some stupidity on display by commenters other than inawhile, such as thebitingfaery's own boggling contention: "[The u's are] not incorrect. The corrupted American form is incorrect." Oh, and: "To use 'color' is one step up from using 'u' and 'y' instead of the whole words, in my opinion."

To make it better, someone posted a link to it on linguaphiles, but there's no wank there yet.

(Post a new comment)


[info]krazycat
2005-01-20 02:14 am UTC (link)
Woo, wank.

But seriously? The Wickercabra?
That's just so funny and I don't know why.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]pokecheck
2005-01-20 03:22 am UTC (link)
Is a wickercabra like a chupacabra, except without the chupa? How does that work, exactly?

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]circumstance
2005-01-20 02:45 am UTC (link)
Oh my god, I have this uncontrollable urge to reach through my computer screen and smack the living shit out of [info]inawhile. "We don't speak English, we speak American, it's a totally different language!" AUGGGH!! The stupid! It's so very painful to me!

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(Deleted post)

[info]krazycat
2005-01-20 06:38 am UTC (link)
I can't be the only one.

...not anymore.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]beccastareyes
2005-01-21 04:17 pm UTC (link)
That's okay... I keep calling it Oft Wank.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]sakemaki
2005-01-20 02:54 am UTC (link)
Wow, this is a lot of brain-farting..

But what about non-native English speaker, what kind of English do they speak? Guessing that their own language might influence the English they're speaking? Then, Arnold Schwarzenegger would be speaking Schwarzeneggerish?

(Reply to this)


[info]pokecheck
2005-01-20 03:02 am UTC (link)
Today's wank was brought to you by the letter "U." As in "urgle-gurgle," which is what I was doing when I read anything written by [info]inawhile.

Actually, I'm waiting for [info]conuly to show up to rag on about the tyrrany of standardized language.

(Reply to this)


[info]feenix
2005-01-20 03:37 am UTC (link)
I don't care about the wank. I'm just here for the Wickercabra. ♥

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[info]iris
2005-01-20 07:12 am UTC (link)
At first, I misread it as "wickerbra," and thought....ow.

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[info]tyraarane_
2005-01-20 04:01 am UTC (link)
As a stickler for grammar and correct English (what's counted correct in America), words like this really really bother me.

Says the same girl who can't put apostrophes in her contractions half the time. I love the smell of hypocrisy in the morning evening.

Reading that wank was exceedingly bad for my blood pressure. It's bringing out the wanky grammar nazi in me. *facepalm*

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[info]andsoyoudied
2005-01-20 03:25 pm UTC (link)
But "dont" is totally correct! Famous person does it = correct, as inawhileillgetit says.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]kookaburra
2005-01-20 04:23 am UTC (link)
This is bringing back bad memories from 3rd grade. My mother had bought all of my books as a child in England (She and dad took a trip there when she was pregnant), and I read books like Black Beauty and The Jungle Book voraciously, along with "The Little Grey Rabbitt" series. So I learned to spell things with a "u" and use an "e" in "grey".

What does this get me in third grade, where we had "color" "gray" and "favor" on one spelling test?

My teacher yelling at me (I'd recieved perfect scores on the other ones) because "you're in America and need to spell the American way!"

*whimper*

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[info]atalantapendrag
2005-01-20 05:47 am UTC (link)
For some reason, "gray" and "grey" bring different hues to mind for me... "gray" is fuzzy-kitty-gray, "grey" is looming-stormclouds-grey.

I've been more aware of proper UK-standard spelling lately, though, because I've been using a British-English spellchecker for HP fic. I thought I'd absorbed a lot of it from 20+ years of reading so many books from the UK, but apparently a few of them slipped by me.

On the other hand, what British English spellchecker doesn't have "snog"?

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]kraken_sleeps
2005-01-20 10:47 am UTC (link)
Because it's a non-standard slang word. *g*

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[info]kookaburra
2005-01-20 06:31 pm UTC (link)
Yeah- I've learned a bunch, (I write LOTR) because in addition to my beta, I have a friend in England who reads over everything and tells me when I need to change something- and often it's syntax and grammar that simply isn't used in England that she catches.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]atalantapendrag
2005-01-20 07:24 pm UTC (link)
*nod* I have a Brit friend, and she's pointed out the occasional bit of phrasing that was just off... the term "jock" in the sense of an athletic guy particularly stood out in my mind as something to add to my mental list of Americanisms-to-avoid when she pointed it out to me.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]ecchaniz0r
2005-01-20 08:29 pm UTC (link)
You get that with the gray/grey too?

'Grey' is a cooler-looking word. It reminds me of pewter and rainy-day oceans. 'Gray' is tabby-cat and fuzzly-shapeless-sweater.

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[info]mael
2005-01-20 05:04 am UTC (link)
*stuffs inawhile's face with a dictionary*

See, I think I get it.

When inawhile was a wee lass of barely eight years of age, her parents took her to the movies to see The Mask of Zorro. When they left the theatre, wee!inawhile randomly decided that they should walk home through an innocent looking alley. It was dark and smelt like cat piss but daddy!inawhile thought it safe enough and took his happy little family into the darkness. Turns out some crook took a liking to mommy!inawhile's pearl necklace, daddy!inawhile tried to play hero and they both got shot in the head. Shocked and traumatised, inawhile raised her teary eyes to the killer and found that he was... A BIG U. Yes, the letter U had disguised itself as a human killer to personally destroy inawhile's life.

From that day hence, inawhile has waged her war against the heinous crimes of similarly evil letters (OU, RE and the infamous S are her personal Rogues), hiding her true identity behind the mask of... WEBSTERGIRL! She even found herself a wee orphaned boy, put him in panties, and dubbed him Thrush. The world will never know whether this is because he sings pretty or is as annoying as a fungus infection in your vagina.

So it's actually no surprise that she rants like she desperately needs her rabies shot.

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[info]sesana
2005-01-20 06:06 am UTC (link)
That was painfully funny. I'll let the fangirling commence now.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]greypearl
2005-01-20 05:32 am UTC (link)
Correct english in america doesn't have u's, sorry.

So all this time we've been limited to 4 vowels and sometimes y, and I never noticed? Silly me.

(Reply to this)


[info]janegraddell
2005-01-20 06:25 am UTC (link)
Yea, this is truly a banquet of stupid.

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[info]sluggirl
2005-01-20 07:47 am UTC (link)
Wouw! What a moroun!

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[info]andsoyoudied
2005-01-20 03:09 pm UTC (link)
:Du

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[info]sepiamagpie
2005-01-21 08:40 am UTC (link)
I was busy ogling the harold perrineau in your icon for a whole ten seconds before I realized this must be that lost thing everyone is talking about.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]sluggirl
2005-01-21 09:16 am UTC (link)
He's a hottie alright. Mmmm, Mercutiolicious!

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[info]sepiamagpie
2005-01-21 05:10 pm UTC (link)
"bear? there was no bear in oz. wtf--OH. LOST"

indeeeeed. Best part about having to watch that movie for school.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]iscoffy
2005-01-20 08:28 am UTC (link)
I'm actually more amused by how outdated Bush's people's D&D manuals are. Which might explain a lot, now that I think about it.

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[info]squib
2005-01-20 09:44 am UTC (link)
That's not "outdated," it's "well-aged." I'm all about teh First Edition! *geeky*

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]iscoffy
2005-01-20 08:51 pm UTC (link)
But can you blame other nations for being annoyed? Here's Powell talking about THACO and no one else is using it any more. ;)

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]kijikun
2005-01-20 06:31 pm UTC (link)
*pets her 2nd edition books* Don't listen precious.

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[info]iscoffy
2005-01-20 08:53 pm UTC (link)
It's only a problem if you're running the US campaign with them. ;)

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[info]kijikun
2005-01-21 02:03 am UTC (link)
Only if the other side is using Thrid ed. *G*

(Reply to this)(Parent)

reject my brain
[info]ashenmote
2005-01-20 08:47 am UTC (link)
I just can't understand how thebitingfaery can be that patient and polite with [info]inawhile. I mean, through whole threads of that crazy talk! The worst thing I saw tbf say was something like "please don't talk down to me." O_o

I couldn't do that. It's impossible.

(Reply to this)


[info]ladysorka
2005-01-20 10:35 am UTC (link)
I'm sorry. I may have grown up in America, but I don't speak American.

I speak Ameriglish. With a bit of Canadian and Australian thrown in for measure.

It's much happier way to live - chose your slang and vowels every day! "Today, I shall use the verb 'shall' but not the verb 'gotten'. I will also spell favourite with a 'u' but realize with a 'z'. I will then go watch telly while sitting on my couch."

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[info]andsoyoudied
2005-01-20 03:29 pm UTC (link)
it is your opinion that the american form is corrupt. My opinion is that English is corrupted.

And those drugs are corrupting your brain, just so you know.

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[info]marlo
2005-01-20 07:32 pm UTC (link)
::facepalm:: The Faulkner argument is the WORST! Lady, he wrote in stream-of-consciousness. He didn't write proper sentences. He spelled words the way they were pronounced.

What if I wanted to suddenly start spelling everything the Irvine Welsh way?

Idjit.

(Reply to this)


layne
2005-01-21 01:01 am UTC (link)
But in Australia we spell it "colour".

What, I'm not allowed to write my own language on the internet?

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[info]adora_spintriae
2005-01-21 01:13 am UTC (link)
No! You must write in Americanese! Because all our arses asses belong to DARPA, dontchaknow?

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


layne
2005-01-21 01:38 am UTC (link)
I once saw a troll on a LJ thread insisting that everyone spell things the American way because America invented the internet.

Sad but true.

BTW, what's DARPA?

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]adora_spintriae
2005-01-21 02:19 am UTC (link)
Defencse Advance Research Projects Agency

Teh people who invented teh intraweb. Well, maybe they were only ARPA back then, but yeah.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


(Anonymous)
2005-01-21 04:54 pm UTC (link)
So... I guess everyone on IRC should learn to speak Finnish, huh?

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]sepiamagpie
2005-01-21 05:11 pm UTC (link)
yes.

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[info]mus_incognitus
2005-01-21 05:14 pm UTC (link)
Of course, perkele!

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]adora_spintriae
2005-01-22 01:33 am UTC (link)
See, that would actually be cool.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

  
   
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