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Caroline (urbanspaceman) wrote in [info]otf_wank,
@ 2005-02-02 18:36:00


Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Current mood:Heh

Spells, magic and religion = WANK
Over at YouThink.com, corpse7 posts a link to a spells and magic page. The spooge starts flying in small amounts on the first page of comments when some people claim it works and others claiming it doesn't.

But it really gets going on page 2 when Ragdrazi and smigbaafm start arguing about whether magic is real or not. Ragdrazi thinks that it's all bullshit.

Oh this is so stupid. I've been to my fair shair of "majickal rituals." People serously delude themselves into thinking this stuff works. Here's a clue for you all. If you're life is crappy, if you're life turns crappy, it isn't because of majick. It's because you are a dumbass.

Smigbaafm believes that it is the work of Satan.

ok, I know I'm going to be called the "overrighteous religious freak with no tolerance or concern for others beliefs" again, but spellcasting, witchcraft, and demonism is NOT the stuff you want to mess with, even to make fun. If you invite spirits with divinations, ouija boards, tarot cards, and seances(sp?) there are serious prices to pay. and don't fool yourself saying theres only "good" spirits coming because let me tell you they are bad. even if you use magic for "good purposes", bad will come of it. the last thing you want is a demon reaking havoc upon you, and even if you can exercise a demon, it can come back with seven more. demons are very real, and powerful, and you cannot contend with them. they are servants of the devil, and are here to throw you off course. they do exist in "another dimension" as well as this one, they ravel at will, posses, and manifest.

Although, I think Zooks has it all worked out.

I love how people are like, "Don't mess around with this stuff unless you're trained!"

Well:
1. Where the heck did you learn how to do stuff? Hogwarts?

2. How many "magic related deaths" do you hear about?

Lame.



(Post a new comment)


[info]the_clansmen
2005-02-02 09:54 am UTC (link)
and don't fool yourself saying theres only "good" spirits coming because let me tell you they are bad.

I know because I once accidentially summoned the Purple People Eater while I was playing with my Ouija board!

(Reply to this)


[info]loopywafflehead
2005-02-02 10:02 am UTC (link)
Zooks wins, hands down. I love this other comment of his:

Lmao. This is a joke, right?

Now, excuse me while I go perform the "Wish" spell and wish that some people had common sense.


Also, this is funny:

the last thing you want is a demon reaking havoc upon you

Oh, how I wish Smigbaafm had spelt it as "reeking". I really, really do.

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[info]iczer6
2005-02-02 12:06 pm UTC (link)
What happens if you cast a spell and summon a demon named 'Reakk'?

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[info]loopywafflehead
2005-02-02 04:01 pm UTC (link)
Hee! That was great, thank you for the link! :)

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]mambo
2005-02-02 02:01 pm UTC (link)
OT question, but what's your icon from?

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]loopywafflehead
2005-02-02 04:02 pm UTC (link)
Brazenbells on lj made it, inspired by this post here:

http://www.livejournal.com/community/mock_the_stupid/1515966.html

Enjoy!

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]miss_kitten
2005-02-02 10:30 am UTC (link)
dang, there are some deep thoughts up in this motha. this forum is blowing my mind

MOWING THE LAWN IS BLOWING MY MIND!

Ragdrazi casts his mystical spell that takes him to the evil lands of Middle Earth so that he may burn leaves, and do a stupid dance in a circle, and other things that make baby Jesus cry.

Miss_Kitten casts Level 9 Cock of the Infinite.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]crabapple_pie
2005-02-02 10:34 pm UTC (link)
Crabapple_Pie puts on her robe and wizard hat.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]miss_kitten
2005-02-02 11:18 pm UTC (link)
I'm going limp...

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[info]warchio
2005-02-02 11:42 am UTC (link)
the last thing you want is a demon reaking havoc upon you, and even if you can exercise a demon, it can come back with seven more.

-----

Hey! Demon Pilates classes for ALL!

"Dude, I don't care if you're Lord of the Seventh Subpit of the Second Level of Hell. You put your little hoof bootees before you step on this floor. I mean it. If we scuff it up then the management will throw us out and you won't loose that spare tire in time for the Great Satanic Easter Party."

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[info]kijikun
2005-02-02 03:43 pm UTC (link)
Great Satanic Easter Party.

I want to go!

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[info]ashenmote
2005-02-02 12:04 pm UTC (link)
I didn't expect that I would actually see the "exercising demons" thing outside of lame D&D cartoons one day. And this smigbaafm person has such a skill with the funny spelling errors that it almost smells of troll.

But I really liked pamplemousse's expression of plane-of-existence envy.

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[info]pokecheck
2005-02-02 12:12 pm UTC (link)
The power of Christ compells you to do the downward facing dog pose?

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[info]crabapple_pie
2005-02-02 10:36 pm UTC (link)
You have to admit, The Exercist Exorcist would have been a much better book/movie if Alyssa Milano had come in halfway through and...

TEEN STEAM!! Gotta let it out...

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]telophase
2005-02-02 04:26 pm UTC (link)
they ravel at will

And I thought my cat was the one responsible for the state of my sweater. Silly me.

demons are very real, and powerful, and you cannot contend with them.

You have to wonder: if humans can't contend with them, then why have we not been overrun by now? Mind you, I'm the sort of skeptic who, once I read about Patricia Kennealy Morrison's threat to send astral enforcers after anyone who dares write fanfic of her stuff, had an almost unbearable urge to do so, so I could send her notes every so often inquiring if the astral enforcers had been by yet, because they'd failed to leave a message if they had.

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[info]kadath
2005-02-02 04:33 pm UTC (link)
demons are very real, and powerful, and you cannot contend with them.

Well, of course you can, if you can cast Dimensional Anchor and Greater Planar Binding.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]darkrose
2005-02-02 06:29 pm UTC (link)
demons are very real, and powerful, and you cannot contend with them.

Well, of course you can, if you can cast Dimensional Anchor and Greater Planar Binding.


Pshaw. Just cast "Gate", and make sure you have a Prot. Evil up. Then send in the paladin with the Holy Avenger, stand back, and get the popcorn.

Unless it's Neverwinter Nights, and the demon is actually a sexay tiefling. In which case, I'll contend with him any day of the week. I swear there was an obvious reason he fell in love with my halfling so fast...

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]kadath
2005-02-02 06:49 pm UTC (link)
By Boccob, no! If you're a spellcaster, your AC is terrible. Prot. from Evil only raises it by 2. Really, if you're not going to specialize in summoning, you just ought to leave demons in the Lower Planes where they belong.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]darkrose
2005-02-02 06:53 pm UTC (link)
By Boccob, no! If you're a spellcaster, your AC is terrible.

By the time you can cast Gate, which is what, Wiz7? you should have stuff to boost your AC. More importantly, you should have an Expeditious Retreat so that once you summon the thing, you can get the fighters in the party beat the shit out of it.

"You bash the Balrog, and I'll climb the tree."

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]kadath
2005-02-02 07:00 pm UTC (link)
Gate is a Lvl9, which means you have a 17th level party. Which means whatever comes through that Gate is going to laugh at your puny Bracers of Armor +6. (The higher CR demons are heinous.) I do like the "Hide Behind the Fighter While I Cast Prismatic Sphere and Hope to God I Beat Its SR" game, though.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]darkrose
2005-02-02 07:01 pm UTC (link)
I'm generally a big fan of "Hide Behind the Fighter" as a strategy.

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(Anonymous)
2005-02-03 11:26 am UTC (link)
...

...

What?

What does that mean?

What does ANY of that mean?

...

*brainimplode*

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]kadath
2005-02-03 05:06 pm UTC (link)
D&D humor.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]khym_chanur
2005-02-03 01:49 am UTC (link)
Mind you, I'm the sort of skeptic who, once I read about Patricia Kennealy Morrison's threat to send astral enforcers after anyone who dares write fanfic of her stuff, had an almost unbearable urge to do so, so I could send her notes every so often inquiring if the astral enforcers had been by yet, because they'd failed to leave a message if they had.

Ooooh, where, where? I so wanna see this!!

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]telophase
2005-02-03 04:45 am UTC (link)
The site itself has been down, but the Wayback Machine has a copy of it.

http://web.archive.org/web/20020805043124/http://www.lizardqueen.com/ind
ex.html

Go to 'Words & Music' in the sidebar, then 'The Karma of Obsession' in the next sidebar. It's a gem of an essay, with reminders that she was married to Jim Morrison, threats of astral enforcers, ranting about people appropriating Jim Morrison as a deity, lecturing on the nature of the Wiccan religion, and did she forget to mention that she was married to JIM MORRISON? In a number of previous lives?

She's got some interesting thoughts in there, but they tend to be buried in between ranting that people live their lives through Jim Morrison and then explaining her and Jim Morrison's views on it. And saying, just in case we forgot, she was married to Jim Morrison.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]telophase
2005-02-03 04:47 am UTC (link)
Er, the 'ex.html' should be at the end of the previous line. I assume that you could actually figure that out on your own, but I've done this before and then had people complain that the link doesn't go anywhere, so my faith in the relative intelligence of humanity has been a bit dimmed.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


(Anonymous)
2005-02-03 12:24 pm UTC (link)
I'm the same anonymous below- and interacted with her on a non-Morrison-or-Doors-Related site. And I think she dragged her marriage to Jim into fucking EVERYTHING. So very annoying.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]telophase
2005-02-03 03:14 pm UTC (link)
Yeah, from my limited readings of her writings on the site, she seems to pretty much be focused on him to exclusion of all else. I'm on a mailing list with one of her friends, who says that she tends to have views that are either black or white, with few shades of grey, which leads me to believe we probably wouldn't get along at all.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]darkrose
2005-02-03 07:04 pm UTC (link)
I really liked the first two books of the Keltiad trilogy. Interestingly enough, those two were originally published in paperback before she started adding "-Morrison" to her name. Aeron is a total Mary Sue, but she was still fun.

The third book was a little less interesting to me, and the Arthur books were pretty bad. Blackmantle was less a novel than a fictional rant at all the people who done her and her dead man wrong, including Jim's ex, the rest of the Doors, and Oliver Stone. She's a decent writer, but she's let her life be consumed with resentment on behalf poor misunderstood Jim. Too bad.

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(Anonymous)
2005-02-04 05:40 am UTC (link)
Absolutely. We once clashed when she announced that the Pope was "evil" and that "if any God I worshipped behaved like the Christian God I'd kick them to the kerb!" and "All Catholics are pathetic sheep."

I'm not even CATHOLIC and I was offended. Issues, much? Worship whoever you want and leave everyone else the fuck alone so they can do the same.

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(Anonymous)
2005-02-03 08:42 am UTC (link)
Dude. Patricia Kenneally Morrison is BATSHIT. Have you seen her site? She's BATSHIT I tell you! Vitriolic to the core. I had some liaisons with her via PM on a message board we both used to post at and... TEH CRAZY astounds me no end.

... would prefer to remain anonymous if that's OK...

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[info]annabelle_lee
2005-02-02 10:39 pm UTC (link)
Too busy chortling to come up with a decent response. Try again later.

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[info]teratologist
2005-02-03 01:12 am UTC (link)
2. How many "magic related deaths" do you hear about?

I know a couple of people who claim to have killed people with magic/k.

Notably, all of them have shitty/ no jobs and poor health, and roughly 50% live with their parents. Nevertheless, they all think that they're going to be feudal lords after the coming apocalypse caused by the collapse of science.

This is why I hesitate to call the people I know 'friends'.

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[info]hellespont
2005-02-03 04:46 am UTC (link)
My first girlfriend claimed she had accidentally killed her best friend in childhood just by speaking in the "Old Tongue" to her. Try as I might, I couldn't her to give me a demo. Of course, she also claimed that she was a vampire, had joined the army at the age of 13, could pull trees out of the ground, and that she loved me after our first date. The relationship didn't last long.

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[info]gloria_mundi
2005-02-03 07:35 am UTC (link)
I knew a guy (not romantically) who claimed he had (and I'm not making this up):
An evil twin brother who killed his girlfriend
A master swordfighter
Owned property in Jamaica
Black Belt in Karate
Won Beatbox competitions regularly
Sold drawings of Final Fantasy characters for five grand a pop
He's a half vampire . . . who has Lung cancer
Travels to Chicago regularly for Jedi training.

And he swears that's all the honest to goodness truth.

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[info]nekoneko
2005-02-03 08:11 pm UTC (link)
Wow. And my ex only claimed to be Angel of Death. There seems to be a lot of batshit crazy floating around.

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[info]gloria_mundi
2005-02-13 07:58 pm UTC (link)
I don't think this was batshit crazy as the guy just couldn't stop himself from lying.

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[info]wankismyfandom
2005-02-03 07:28 am UTC (link)
damn. I used this to summon Elvis and it worked. Now he won't leave. He ate all my food and drank my beer and now he won't get off the toilet. Plus he threw up in my hamper. What should I do?

I think louhand wins the thread.

(Reply to this)


 
   
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