"How do we know you're not a sick pedophile?" Okay... WHAT. THE. HELL. Crowded mall food court, I politely offer my table to you and your family since I'm taken with a brief feeling of kindness with all the Christmas decorations up--and you accuse me of WHAT? In PUBLIC, no less?

I stood up and I stared down at her stupid fat face and yelled, "How dare you have the audacity to even suggest I would be anything less than law-abiding you accusatory cow! Consider my offer rescinded! Now begone!" And with that I waved my hand at them dismissively."

Here's a couple of heartfelt hints from me to you: when creating a steaming pile of bullshit, try to use more realistic dialogue, what you've got there looks like a high schooler's attempt to make Shakespeare "modern" and "edgy". Really, I'm surprised you didn't ask if they had bitten their thumbs at you.

It's artistic licence, people. Those exact words may not have been said, but the point still came across.

no_father: That sucks that you were accused of being a paedophile, but good on you for getting the wench to back down.