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Tuesday, January 15th, 2008
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2:36p - Mr. Monk and the Deceptive Thread Count
...So titled because I can't imagine anyone else a) counting to keep 'em honest and b) caring enough to sue them. And if it's not wanky to instigate a class-action lawsuit over thread counts, I don't know what is.
Retailer Bed, Bath and Beyond may be settling a class-action lawsuit over the thread count in their bedsheets. Generally if you've bought sheets there over the past seven years, you'll get yourself a reward for the pain and suffering brought by the false belief that your Egyptian cotton percale topsheets are, in reality, less than 1500-thread-count. How did they accomplish this dastardly feat? By "stating the number of threads in the warp and filling directions in one square inch of fabric, rather than the number of yarns." I have no idea why warp and filling rather than thread is important or even worthy of a class-action lawsuit, but it's likely to cost BBB lots of money.
The fabulous reward to the consumer swindled out of God's magical pubic threadcount sheets? A $10 gift card or a 20% off coupon. Linda Keenan, who received a settlement offer, has written an amusing response. Consumerist has also written about it here. Predictably, most of the actual settlement money is likely to go to lawyers' fees.
This is also the second time in a year someone's sued BBB for its thread counts. The original suit was dismissed in U.S. District Court because the consumer could not provide intent or real monetary or physical damage, and it was only then that the suit went to class-action. "Even if it assumed that the consumer had been able to plead an ascertainable loss, the Court further found that the consumer failed to demonstrate the causal relationship between the alleged misrepresentation and the ascertainable loss" is legalese for Really? Are you fucking kidding us? Thread counts? Go away.
(Note: Anyone bringing up the McDonald's lady does so at their own peril.)
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3:13p - Pie wank!
Shepherd's pie, that is. Or is it cottage pie?
I can't improve on the writeup of the friend who sent me the link:
Admittedly, the 'recipe' is a horrid approximation of the real thing, but the determination of the commenters to be gratuitously rude for very little reason has to be admired. And the descent to name calling and arguments about the US and UK and (inevitably) the War is tremendous. Football is in there too. There's also a brief display of homphobia and Bush hatred - intermingled - which can be ignored. (And then there are the sweet, plaintive posts from people who want to talk about cooking...) Tony Blair starts things off:
That's a Cottage pie, shepherd's pie is made with lamb, the clue is in the name, shepherds don't herd cows do they?Americans get so many things wrong, that doesn't mean you have to go along the wrongness, use the correct phrases and terminology and educate your people. Stop perpetuating ignorance. Which gets the reply: Well then why not make it out of the shepherds themselves dumb***?Other Tasty Samples:
Tony, I can see your point about subbing apples for bananas. Surely, replacing a pomaceous fruit from a tree with a herbaceous cluster-fruit would change the general structure and consistency. And I see how it correlates: replacing one red-meated, grass-fed ungulate's flesh with another will surely cause the entire flan to collapse, so to speak. You should find three other people that honestly care about whether or not their casseroles have cow or sheep in the mix and unite to form a super-team that roams the world looking for meat pie infractions. It'd be a better use of your time.Now I assume you are American. You seem to be ignorant of many things.Even your desserts are offensive.What does WWII have to do with anything? Last I checked, Americans only got involved because they got attacked. You weren't saving anybody, you were defending your own country.Heroically, I kept myself from jumping in to cry, "Don't mention the War!"
ETA: ![[info]](http://www.journalfen.net/img/userinfo.gif) alya1989262 has created a guide to the wank. In the form of a pie chart, of course.
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