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A Guy Named Goo ([info]the_clansmen) wrote in [info]otf_wank,
@ 2005-02-08 18:07:00
Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
[info]jzenman, who claims to be a stand-up comedian in his 40s, posts a rant about his ex that contains a lot of ellipses and no paragraph breaks... so it reads...sort of like this...

Further down he claims it was all a joke but he's still an asshole.

People are generally not amused by the lack of punctuation and by the content of the rant.

Random highlight:

She probably watched more Law and Order episodes... THAT's something I've never done... I don't think I have sat through one fucking episode of that shit show... First off it's not funny and it's a pointless waste of time where you're supposed to feel like the police are the coolest people in the world when they catch the pedophile... In real life they're just writing tickets or arresting some homeless guy for walking around... God I hate that show... That should be my next rule of dating... I'll ask women if they like Law and Order... If they say yes it's their favorite show I just get up and leave...

It was kind of hard to find a point to break that up.

Best comment award goes to this anonymouse.



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(Post a new comment)


[info]backfromspace
2005-02-09 02:44 am UTC (link)
I am a link.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]the_clansmen
2005-02-09 02:57 am UTC (link)
Grades 4-9? [raises eyebrow]

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]backfromspace
2005-02-09 03:42 am UTC (link)
Too advanced? Don't want to confuse the poor guy.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]the_clansmen
2005-02-09 04:04 am UTC (link)
Yeah, that's what I was thinking. Though I'm not sure you could find something much simpler that would still be effective.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]backfromspace
2005-02-09 04:11 am UTC (link)
Do they make grammar books for the third grade?

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]blue_linnet
2005-02-09 03:41 am UTC (link)
'Anyone that spends just a bit of effort writing something they believe in gets an A+ from me just for the effort'

...oy.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]tyraarane_
2005-02-09 03:50 am UTC (link)
I think we've stumbled upon one of the members of the Self-Esteem Police. "Your book may suck, but you made an effort, so yay! Gold star for you!" Rrrrrrrrgh. *gnashes teeth*

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]telophase
2005-02-09 09:14 pm UTC (link)
You win the Self-Esteem award!



(Man, I'd hate to be the kid that got the "I Tried My Best" award. That says something so ... sad.)

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]lab
2005-02-10 12:25 am UTC (link)
ohh~ shiny. If that's okay, I'll try my best to steal (and credit) it?

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]telophase
2005-02-10 12:36 am UTC (link)
Go for it! XD

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]adora_spintriae
2005-02-10 02:19 am UTC (link)
*icon adoration*

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]telophase
2005-02-10 02:23 am UTC (link)
Credit due to nefariouskitten on LJ, who made it, likewise my current icon; I just ganked it. :)

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]cyn
2005-02-10 08:30 am UTC (link)
May I steal also? Verrah nice.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]telophase
2005-02-10 03:20 pm UTC (link)
Yup. Up for grabs for anyone who wants. :)

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]jetamors
2005-02-09 03:53 am UTC (link)
...Okay, not that [info]jzenman isn't being really wanky, but this is in his own personal journal. Did he xpost links to 10 different communities, or did people just randomly decide to attack him?

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]the_clansmen
2005-02-09 04:02 am UTC (link)
Y'know, I'm not sure. I got the link from a friend, who probably got it from another friend...etc. Though apparently the first people that attacked were friends of the girlfriend... oi. My guess would be more like that they xposted the link.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]jetamors
2005-02-09 04:40 pm UTC (link)
Ah. Still, that's kind of messed up.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]the_clansmen
2005-02-09 07:14 pm UTC (link)
Heh. Well, it _is_ okay to link to non-minors' journals, right? I think that's what the rules say...but I wouldn't want to be doing anything that's bad (n)etiquette and not know it.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]jetamors
2005-02-09 11:01 pm UTC (link)
Oh, I didn't mean you. I meant the people ragging on the way that he punctuates in his own personal journal.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]kittikattie
2005-02-09 06:35 am UTC (link)
I said it on dot_cattiness a while back: Lumping periods together doesn't make the sentence end faster.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]pokecheck
2005-02-09 09:41 am UTC (link)
No matter how much we'd like his sentences to end.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]somnambulicious
2005-02-10 01:16 am UTC (link)
He's a "stand-up comedian," remember? He's not trying to end the sentences; he's just pausing for the laughter to die down!

Or begin. Whichever.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]the_clansmen
2005-02-10 03:24 am UTC (link)
He's pausing to wait for the audience to stop throwing tomatoes, rotten lettuce heads, chairs, etc.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]smo
2005-02-09 06:38 am UTC (link)
He doesn't like her because she likes Law and Order?

He is SO fired.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]blue_linnet
2005-02-09 09:45 am UTC (link)
Yeah, no kidding. The L&O related bitterness was a bit much. Did Sam Waterston kill his entire family?

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]smo
2005-02-09 04:27 pm UTC (link)
For reals. Like, go play computer games until she's done, genius.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]mindset
2005-02-09 10:52 am UTC (link)
Is it because he's a lesbian? ;)

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]smo
2005-02-09 04:26 pm UTC (link)
BWAH! Okay, it took me a second, but I eventually got it.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]the_clansmen
2005-02-09 07:11 pm UTC (link)
[still doesn't get it]

Either I'm slow or I don't get it because I don't watch L&O.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]smo
2005-02-09 07:14 pm UTC (link)
Oh, heh. Well, basically, it was this random revelation that one character let go - out of nowhere - when they were told they'd been downsized.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]phosfate
2005-02-09 05:13 pm UTC (link)
No. No, no.

*very long pause*

Yes.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]ladybirdsleeps
2005-02-09 11:34 am UTC (link)
I think it's funny how he thinks traffic cops and homicide detectives are the same thing.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]smo
2005-02-09 04:25 pm UTC (link)
He probably thinks Elisabeth Roehme is an Oscar-caliber actress.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]sewingmyfish
2005-02-09 10:04 pm UTC (link)
Hell, he probably thinks Elizabeth Berkley is

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]the_clansmen
2005-02-10 02:08 am UTC (link)
How about Elizabeth Bathory?

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]smo
2005-02-10 03:02 am UTC (link)
He probably has no idea who she is. It'd be worth telling him, though, just for his reaction when he found out about her bathing in the blood of virgins and what have you.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]smo
2005-02-10 03:00 am UTC (link)
XD XD XD Oh Lordy, Showgirls. So bad it's magnificent.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]sewingmyfish
2005-02-10 07:13 am UTC (link)
"Fuck you you fucking fucker, fuck off!" *Ballet-showgirl-ninja kick*

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]smo
2005-02-10 07:19 am UTC (link)
Nomi is a freaking PSYCHO. It's a joy to watch shitfaced.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]sewingmyfish
2005-02-10 07:24 am UTC (link)
I watched that movie, The Flintstones, and the original Dune for Kyle Maclachlan.
I believe that makes him legally required to marry me.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]smo
2005-02-10 07:56 am UTC (link)
I will never be able to think of Kyle and Dune again without thinking of me and two other friends getting BLIND on rum and coke and drooling over him in that movie.

God, I miss being an undergrad.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]sewingmyfish
2005-02-10 05:38 pm UTC (link)
That's how we watched Showgirls, if you add hysterical laughter and MSTKing to the mix

(Reply to this)(Parent)


(Anonymous)
2005-02-10 03:55 am UTC (link)
Oh, no! Baleeted!

(Reply to this)

  
   
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