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Porn Purveyor ([info]darkrose) wrote in [info]otf_wank,
@ 2005-02-28 00:25:00
Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Current mood:*sporfle!*

Welcome to the 77th Annual Academy Awards: All Beyonce; All the Time
It's usually a safe bet to count on blackfolk to bring the wank on certain topics, and the commentary on the Oscar show doesn't disappoint. Pretty much everyone agrees that Jamie Foxx and Morgan Freeman deserved their naked gold statues, but when jemgirl wonders when the Oscars became the Beyonce Show, the splooge starts to fly.

First, people suggest that maybe she should go a little lighter on the eye makeup next time. karnythia is underwhelmed by Beyonce's French pronunciation, and recumbent_goat is boggled when Beyonce comes out and sings the Polar Express song with Josh Groban. (He wasn't the only one.)

Then chiefwiggins steps in, because the only reason that anyone would be complaining about Beyonce is racism or possibly jealousy. denim_queen is having none of that and lets loose with an impressive, if somewhat incoherent shot:

Oh by the way, if I ever become insane to the point where I actually want to your opinion on something don't worry I'll ask for it right after I take my clit from your mouth.

now die weeping.

What do you say to that, really?


(Post a new comment)


[info]blackjackrocket
2005-02-28 09:29 am UTC (link)
I really do want to find the person who came up with the idea to have her sing three songs and throttle them.

But not as much as I want to throttle Hilary Swank's dialect coach. Who the hell told her that any sort of Southern accent sounds like that?

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[info]cpip
2005-02-28 04:26 pm UTC (link)
It sounded about right to my ears -- not Southern, but Midwestern, really.

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[info]blackjackrocket
2005-02-28 10:04 pm UTC (link)
That sure didn't sound like any variety of Midwestern that I've ever heard...

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[info]rogue
2005-02-28 10:13 am UTC (link)
Normally I could care less about what crap anyone at the Oscars pull, but this year I watched because I like Jaime Foxx and DiCaprio -- I hate to join in with the wank but jeeeeeeeeeeeeesus I could have done without all that Beyonce.

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[info]adora_spintriae
2005-03-01 02:53 am UTC (link)
I dunno. Jamie Foxx was okay right up to the part where he said "And then she beat me", where I kind of WTF & TMIed-out. I'm surprised no one's wanking talking about that.

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[info]restlesshands
2005-03-01 06:09 am UTC (link)
Yeah, I got there too and then I was like WOAH, DID I JUST STUMBLE INTO SOME REALLY SCARY FANFIC UNIVERSE OR SOMETHING?

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]gal_montag
2005-02-28 10:29 am UTC (link)
Your clit must be huge if it can be placed in my mouth.

And as much as I love Beyonce's booty shakin' pop songs, she and Josh Groban should never speak of this again.

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[info]dreamtoday
2005-02-28 10:31 am UTC (link)
on the other hand, if she wanted to like, make-out with josh...no. i got nothing.

also: beyonce+jay-z=4evah!

oh, shush.

cm

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[info]gal_montag
2005-02-28 10:16 pm UTC (link)
I'd like to see a cage match to the death, actually. Beyonce'd mop the floor with that guy.

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[info]kyuuketsukirui
2005-02-28 10:43 am UTC (link)
Okay this is from a completely different post and has nothing to do with the wank, but...WTF?

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[info]aloysius
2005-02-28 11:00 am UTC (link)
I've seen homosexual variations of this theme, but, um ... that's new.

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[info]mael
2005-02-28 02:36 pm UTC (link)
Holy CRAP. Right. That's... whoa. A whole helping of the crazy shit.

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[info]big_bad_wolf
2005-02-28 02:50 pm UTC (link)
... O_O

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[info]greenling
2005-02-28 07:14 pm UTC (link)
Now I really can't talk about the idea by itself, even if I wanted to, but...

Gods, self-loathing complex much? Whoo.

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[info]gal_montag
2005-02-28 10:19 pm UTC (link)
Wow.

I've seen this in black people before. But that's new.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]adora_spintriae
2005-03-01 02:55 am UTC (link)
... See icon.

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[info]funwithrage
2005-03-02 03:33 am UTC (link)
There was a guy on one of my old MUSHes who used to talk about how he wished he was a girl because men were so very, very evil. Kinda the male MsA, I guess, all yummy and brick-to-the-face inspiring. I guess this is the racial equivalent.


And I call stupid. Feeling like you'd be more comfortable in your own body is one thing, but wanting to be a member of the oppressed because the oppressors are all, each and every one of them, EVIL? Dumb. Dumbity dumb.

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[info]llama_treats
2005-02-28 12:36 pm UTC (link)
Gee...and I thought the first Oscar wank would concern Sean Penn's lack of a sense of humor. Who knew?

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[info]hypno_jango
2005-02-28 03:43 pm UTC (link)
Me too. I only half-watched the Oscars last night but when I heard him, I turned around and said to the screen, "Now really, Jude Law doesn't need you to defend his honor! Shut up and get a sense of humor."

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[info]amasaglajax
2005-02-28 10:31 pm UTC (link)
What was it that happened? During that award, I got a weather watch warning for coastal flooding in the Bronx.

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[info]cleolinda
2005-02-28 10:46 pm UTC (link)
Did you see the part in the opening monologue where Chris Rock joked about all the movies Jude Law's been in recently? Well, like, *two hours later*, Sean Penn shows up to present whatever, and he starts off with, "Well, Mr. Rock, to answer your question of who Jude Law is, HE IS ONE OF OUR FINEST ACTORS." My sister and I got really, really scared there for about five seconds. And then he dropped it and went on with the award.

Plis for to get a sense of humor, Mr. Penn.

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[info]amasaglajax
2005-02-28 10:52 pm UTC (link)
Aww, that's kinda sweet, in a misguided sort of way. Was Jude Law at the Oscars? I didn't see him :(

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[info]cleolinda
2005-02-28 10:54 pm UTC (link)
I don't think he was--actually, he couldn't have been, because I'm sure they would have cut to 5,000 reaction shots of him during the monologue if he had been.

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[info]bubosquared
2005-03-03 04:55 am UTC (link)
Jude Law doesn't need you to defend his honor!

Aaand my mind just went to the Jude/Sean place. It's ... actually, not a bad place to be.

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[info]hypno_jango
2005-03-03 05:02 am UTC (link)
It wasn't intentional but my mind went there also after I posted it and reread it.

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[info]bubosquared
2005-03-03 09:19 am UTC (link)
It's not necessarily a bad place, I don't think.

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(Anonymous)
2005-02-28 08:56 pm UTC (link)
Didn't watch the ceremony, but looks like I didn't miss much.

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[info]blackjackrocket
2005-02-28 11:11 pm UTC (link)
I thought it would be John Williams glaring at the Original Score winner like he was about to leap from his seat and throttle the poor bastard.

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The urge to icon was overwhelming.
[info]wankismyfandom
2005-02-28 01:05 pm UTC (link)
But oh noez! Chiefwiggins shoots back that "You'll never be able to get a man if you act so manish [sic] darling." Woman, has it not occurred to your dumb ass that not everyone's first priority is "getting" a man? What an annoying little humphat.

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Re: The urge to icon was overwhelming.
[info]big_bad_wolf
2005-02-28 04:14 pm UTC (link)
Woman, has it not occurred to your dumb ass that not everyone's first priority is "getting" a man?

Work those ghetto principles, man. Jesus. Why must everything come back to a lady getting her rocks off with a gentleman, hmmm?

WHERE ARE ALL MY LESBIANS?

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[info]isntitironic
2005-02-28 03:10 pm UTC (link)
How terrible a person am I that my thought on all this is: "Beyonce hate - it's the new black!"

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[info]chash
2005-02-28 04:04 pm UTC (link)
You know, I would have been confused and alarmed and annoyed if anyone had sung three songs at the Oscars. I have no particular feelings towards Beyonce, but it's the fucking Oscars. Can't they get three different singers?

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[info]jedilora
2005-02-28 04:55 pm UTC (link)
And they REALLY didn't need her. Sure, I could kinda understand if they didn't want to bring over Les Choristes singers, but Josh was THERE. Could have been fine by himself. Minnie Driver was THERE. Could have done the song just fine. (Actually, probably could have been better. Beyonce's sense of camp is like Sean Penn's humor: acccidental.)

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[info]cleolinda
2005-02-28 06:21 pm UTC (link)
Whoever provided the Phake Phantom has a definite sense of humor, however.

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(Anonymous)
2005-02-28 08:59 pm UTC (link)
Oscar fanatics aren't too bright, they won't notice.

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[info]thoms
2005-03-02 02:13 am UTC (link)
I actually agree with the whole "Beyonce'? BZUH?" attitude. I said to my friend "Why?!" Said it about Antonio Banderas too, because... damn who told that man he could sing? My ears are still bleeding.

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