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Del ([info]big_bad_wolf) wrote in [info]otf_wank,
@ 2005-03-02 11:49:00
Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Current mood:amused

I don't know if this has been wanked yet, haven't checked, but:

Bad_sex wank!

In which my mate Dave Syn (synthclarion) rather foolishly admits to having bribed an eight-year-old with vodka to keep him schtum. Predictably, people are not impressed. Dave, being an awkward sod, holds his ground.

And then, on his personal journal, his ex comes to give him a good yelling at.

Oh, Dave.

High-lights include SocialWorker vs EvilSadist, the early arrival of the WAAAAAAHMBULANCE and the the assertation that it's okay to beat teenagers but bad to give booze to kids.


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[info]greenglass
2005-03-02 01:07 pm UTC (link)
I have to admit, he's a better man than me. Instead of bribing the kid, I'd have snapped the kid's neck right then and there and tossed the body in the nearest river.

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[info]big_bad_wolf
2005-03-02 01:38 pm UTC (link)
I admit I'd probably have given the kid the kicking of his life.

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[info]wallflower
2005-03-02 04:49 pm UTC (link)
Bahleeted :( Boo.

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[info]cpip
2005-03-02 05:14 pm UTC (link)
I weep!

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[info]mana
2005-03-02 06:57 pm UTC (link)
It was funny while it lasted.

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[info]mistressrenet
2005-03-02 08:02 pm UTC (link)
Archived!

Dude, he was a teenager. I thought it was some thirty-year-old man boozing up his kid or something. Still stupid, mind you.

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[info]adora_spintriae
2005-03-03 12:42 am UTC (link)
*loves you forever along with your god-like icon*

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[info]mistressrenet
2005-03-03 03:53 am UTC (link)
It's from weyrlady over on LJ; she had a couple others too.

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[info]sewingmyfish
2005-03-03 01:58 am UTC (link)
Your icon dances very well to "The Hebrew Rap"

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[info]mistressrenet
2005-03-03 03:52 am UTC (link)
Always glad to know more songs Gojyo will dance to!

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[info]sewingmyfish
2005-03-03 04:44 am UTC (link)
"Walking in Memphis" doesn't work, though. He just looks like the uncle that had one too many at a wedding and is dancing to everything, including the toast.

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[info]nekoneko
2005-03-03 02:53 am UTC (link)
Gojyo is now dancing to Bryan Adams' 'The Only Thing That Looks Good on Me is You'. It is very entertaining to my Saiyuki yaoi-loving mind.

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[info]mistressrenet
2005-03-03 03:52 am UTC (link)
It's amazing how many gay-friendly songs and themes Dancing Gojyo works for. XD

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(Anonymous)
2005-03-06 06:42 pm UTC (link)
Gojyo is now dancing to the Overture of Jesus Christ Superstar.

- random micey

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[info]lurker32
2005-03-02 08:07 pm UTC (link)
my mom used to mix me drinks when i was 10 an u kno whut? i turn out fyne.

Please tell me this is sarcasm.

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[info]big_bad_wolf
2005-03-02 11:01 pm UTC (link)
...

Damnit, I can type better than that when I'm drunk! This kid is giving decent alcoholics a bad name!

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[info]blue_linnet
2005-03-02 08:46 pm UTC (link)
I saw 'bad sex wank', and read the first part of this; 'having bribed an eight year old with vodka', and thought 'oh dear lord no!' Um, yes, I'm a sick individual, who was quite relieved by the rest of the post.

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[info]sesana
2005-03-02 10:30 pm UTC (link)
I was starting to think that I was the only person that sick around here.

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[info]suziecroft
2005-03-02 11:05 pm UTC (link)
No, you're not.

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[info]ashenmote
2005-03-02 11:47 pm UTC (link)
Really not. But it is not our fault. Reading too much creepy wank Society made us so.

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[info]annabelle_lee
2005-03-03 01:27 am UTC (link)
Nope, though I blame porn for my moral downfall. Sweet, sweet porn, why have you forsaken me?!

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[info]lukita
2005-03-03 01:47 am UTC (link)
Glad to know I'm not the only one.

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[info]bishounenhuntrs
2005-03-05 04:46 am UTC (link)
Nope, definitely not the only one.

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[info]miss_kitten
2005-03-02 09:53 pm UTC (link)
You should've promised him some nice gift, feeding children vodka is BAD.

*salutes High Commander of the Obvious*

I hope this guy stuck around to watch the kid get drunk, because...although it's bad? I bet it was really fucking funny, too.

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[info]big_bad_wolf
2005-03-02 10:56 pm UTC (link)
Two shots of vodka for a small kiddo should have at least have resulted in comedy wobbling, I reckon. And besides! My mate's dad used to put whiskey in his bottle to shut him up and he's FINE. Short, I'll grant you, and a bit of a boozer, but alive and with all his limbs.

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[info]kookaburra
2005-03-02 11:27 pm UTC (link)
Yeah- in 5th grade, when my sadist of an orthodontist put some horrible contraptions on my braces, instead of giving me vicodin or some other drug, my dad simply gave me a few shots of Kahlua mixed with milk whenever the pain became unbearable. Did the trick. Hell, my grandpa was given washcloths soaked in gin when he was teething.

It irks me when people make alcohol out to be some big, bad monster that eats everything it touches alive.

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[info]big_bad_wolf
2005-03-02 11:33 pm UTC (link)
I suspect this is because said people are incapable of understanding the concept of "moderation". Yaknow small amounts of alcohol improve the circulation. *nod*

Then again it might just be that these people are allergic to fun.

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[info]mistressrenet
2005-03-03 03:54 am UTC (link)
Or both! I never really started drinking because I knew I'd never STOP, but I know plenty of people who can.

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[info]nekoneko
2005-03-03 02:44 pm UTC (link)
And I haven't started because (aside from being underaged for that sort of thing) I have problems with strong painkillers making me woozy and start babbling, which is not a very good thing when in the middle of a Geology lecture. I don't think I could hold anything remotely alcoholic.

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[info]big_bad_wolf
2005-03-03 03:27 pm UTC (link)
Hah, I wish I had that kind of luck with painkillers. My friend Lawrence gets all junkified on two Ibuprofen. Me? I end up accidentally overdosing on codeine because it doesn't WORK ON ME. Argh.

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[info]nekoneko
2005-03-03 05:04 pm UTC (link)
Argh. THat sucks. Last time I overdosed on codeine (because my father misread the label and I felt too shitty to correct him), I had nightmares about bleeding kittens and was out for at least 8 hours.

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[info]big_bad_wolf
2005-03-03 08:16 pm UTC (link)
Madness, I couldn't bloody sleep, drank a bottle of port and was sick in the shower. THROUGH MY NOSE. I never, ever want to vomit half-digested cucumber through my nose again. OW.

Port and codeine: not good.

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[info]funwithrage
2005-03-03 10:11 pm UTC (link)
Damn straight. Hey, when my dad's family got together, they used to drink Manhattans of an evening, and my sister and I would go around and get the cherries out of the glasses afterwards. Mmm. Sweet, sweet vermouth-filled maraschinos.


Didn't start drinking 'til I was eighteen. Still have yet to do the blackout/vomit thing, or to drink when not at a party--although have shotgunned bourbon when my ex showed up at one unexpectedly. "Um, hi. Drink, please."

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[info]adora_spintriae
2005-03-03 12:48 am UTC (link)
Heh, smart kid. He got a sex ed session and a bottle of vodka. I take my hat off to him.

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[info]darkerthanpale
2005-03-03 02:09 am UTC (link)
When I was about that age, I used to steal drinks (mainly brandy, to be honest) from the drinks cabinet in the lounge before bed (straight out of the bottles, too), and then follow with a glass of milk to hide the smell.

:))

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[info]big_bad_wolf
2005-03-03 01:38 pm UTC (link)
You utter deviant. I knew there was a reason you were such a fiendish drug-abusing alcoholic now. :P

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[info]jrs1980
2005-03-03 07:42 am UTC (link)
Don't ask me what I would have done. I would have not given him vodka, that's what I would have done.

Uh....kay.

I also like the post comparing him to Michael Jackson. Cuz that's the same.

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[info]big_bad_wolf
2005-03-03 01:06 pm UTC (link)
Totally. BDSM with girl of same age followed by a pay-off to a kid is in no way COMPLETELY DIFFERENT from boffing toddlers or whatever it was Wacko has been up to...

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[info]innsmouth_eyes
2005-03-04 06:51 am UTC (link)
I disagree that giving the kid vodka was the only or best solution, but I echo Miss Kitten and say it would have been really funny. And if you give him enough of it, you get him back for being a little puke, by giving him a big puke! Life lesson, revenge and a good show all in one!

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