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Elena ([info]sukeban) wrote in [info]otf_wank,
@ 2005-03-14 00:48:00


Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Wank wank = wank squared
[info]klavier feels that masturbation is OMG TEH GROSSX, and says so. She also compares penises to a (rather phallic, truth be told) picture of a chest-bursting baby alien. Anti-masturbation fans join the circle jerk, [info]travelsizedoug trolls saying that it's better than rape anyway, and there's even an ickle baby side wank when a Stan Winston fan complains about the misuse of the poor alien image.

Oh, and there's a sequel, too.



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(Post a new comment)


[info]morgyne
2005-03-14 01:16 am UTC (link)
Sounds like someone needs a Hitachi Magic Wand.
That way one doesn't need to make the choice of wanking on LJ, or wanking at home.

Hitachi: when you've got Carpal Tunnel Syndrome.

(Reply to this)


[info]gorogoro
2005-03-14 01:28 am UTC (link)
Question: I'm not familiar with a lot of current slang, but does "nigz" mean what I think it means? If so, I give it the win for being the worst-sounding permutation of the word ever.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]sukeban, 2005-03-14 01:39 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-03-14 01:51 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]circumstance, 2005-03-14 01:52 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-03-14 01:54 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]pokecheck, 2005-03-14 04:05 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]plazmah, 2005-03-14 08:17 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ecchaniz0r, 2005-03-14 06:28 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]chaimonkey, 2005-03-14 07:31 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]visp, 2005-03-15 12:15 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]chaimonkey, 2005-03-15 12:43 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]gorogoro, 2005-03-16 03:15 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]chaimonkey, 2005-03-16 03:40 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]gorogoro, 2005-03-16 03:47 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]chaimonkey, 2005-03-16 03:54 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]gorogoro, 2005-03-16 04:01 am UTC

[info]mambo
2005-03-14 01:34 am UTC (link)
There's nothing beautiful about jerking off.

And there's nothing beautiful about eating a bagel, either. Does she have any clue how disgusting the digestive system is?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]mambo, 2005-03-14 01:39 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ladybirdsleeps, 2005-03-14 01:42 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mambo, 2005-03-14 02:03 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]circumstance, 2005-03-14 02:10 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]gorogoro, 2005-03-14 02:21 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]rachelmap, 2005-03-14 06:19 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]gorogoro, 2005-03-14 04:27 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]khym_chanur, 2005-03-14 03:47 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]suziecroft, 2005-03-14 01:22 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]khym_chanur, 2005-03-14 03:30 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mambo, 2005-03-14 03:40 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]khym_chanur, 2005-03-14 03:46 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mambo, 2005-03-14 04:00 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-03-14 05:42 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]big_bad_wolf, 2005-03-21 10:07 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]innsmouth_eyes, 2005-03-14 08:28 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]tangentialone, 2005-03-16 03:52 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-03-15 05:10 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]pokecheck, 2005-03-14 01:45 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-03-14 01:48 am UTC

[info]reinhardt
2005-03-14 01:36 am UTC (link)
People and their hang ups never fail to amuse me. Because it's so very selfish to know what pleases you... Dumbass.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-03-14 01:53 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-03-14 01:53 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]reinhardt, 2005-03-14 02:46 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]heddychaa, 2005-03-14 11:09 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]big_bad_wolf, 2005-03-21 10:08 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]heddychaa, 2005-03-21 11:39 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]kannaophelia, 2005-03-15 03:52 pm UTC

[info]iczer6
2005-03-14 01:57 am UTC (link)
I can understand her anti-masturbation stance, after all if I was her pussy I wouldn't want her touching me either.

But on the bright side there's a good chance she won't breed!

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-03-14 02:00 am UTC
(no subject) - redwarrior, 2005-03-15 12:48 am UTC

[info]sarajayechan
2005-03-14 01:57 am UTC (link)
So they're wanking about wanking? How wanky!

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]greypearl, 2005-03-14 02:11 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sarajayechan, 2005-03-14 03:16 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]dark_puck, 2005-03-14 05:48 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]plazmah, 2005-03-14 08:20 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]greypearl, 2005-03-14 05:22 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]visp, 2005-03-15 12:19 am UTC

[info]circumstance
2005-03-14 02:05 am UTC (link)
I just want you to know that the fact that you feel a need to "correct" me, makes me think that you're trying to prove something to me, or yourselves, or the world...whatever.

Heh. I love it. "If you comment to agree with me, I must be right, but if you comment to disagree with me, you obviously have issues and are just trying to prove something; ergo, I'm still right."

Also? Masturbation is bad because it's selfish? Is sexual pleasure like cookies in kindergarten now? If you have some, you'd better have enough for the whole class? Because I refuse! It's my pleasure! MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE!

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]pokecheck, 2005-03-14 02:14 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ladysorka, 2005-03-14 03:43 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]visp, 2005-03-15 12:26 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]tangentialone, 2005-03-16 03:57 am UTC

[info]blackjackrocket
2005-03-14 02:35 am UTC (link)
I think it has to be a parody. Some of the comments are dead giveaways. "I think it's sick because it impedes my quality of life", I believe was one of them.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]beandelphiki, 2005-03-15 07:06 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]blackjackrocket, 2005-03-15 07:16 am UTC

[info]elfy
2005-03-14 02:37 am UTC (link)
if people want a way to relieve stress, they don't have to treat their bodies like an amusement park.

why not? my body is an amusement park and fun for everyone!

...okay, so not everyone, unless they're over this tall. *holds out hand* ;)

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]lurker32, 2005-03-14 05:37 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]visp, 2005-03-15 12:32 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]elfy, 2005-03-16 05:37 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]visp, 2005-03-16 06:05 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]loony666, 2005-03-16 02:22 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]elfy, 2005-03-16 05:43 am UTC

[info]jrs1980
2005-03-14 02:41 am UTC (link)
Bad link, repost.

I loooove her comments in the second post.

I just changed my JF name to Egplant dyke ass (viva la Paris Hilton), but now I kind of want to change it to "mindless orgasm zombie".

Also, oy. "The woman is always the fuck box"? A) Apparently she hasn't heard of pegging. B) I kind of want to hook her up with feminist, because that would be funny.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

<-This icon never more appropriate - [info]croik, 2005-03-14 07:43 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]dementoid, 2005-03-15 04:14 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]jrs1980, 2005-03-15 05:35 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]dementoid, 2005-03-15 05:44 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]missandrony, 2005-03-16 04:16 am UTC

[info]pokecheck
2005-03-14 02:45 am UTC (link)
Am I the only one who looks at that alien/phallus and suddenly hears opera?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]innsmouth_eyes, 2005-03-14 04:35 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]pokecheck, 2005-03-14 04:40 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]dark_puck, 2005-03-14 05:49 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]pokecheck, 2005-03-14 06:11 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]plazmah, 2005-03-14 08:23 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]pokecheck, 2005-03-14 08:26 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]plazmah, 2005-03-15 01:01 am UTC

[info]wanktastic
2005-03-14 02:52 am UTC (link)
Mindless Orgasm Zombies is the name of my new band.

(Reply to this)


[info]teratologist
2005-03-14 03:01 am UTC (link)
Man, if we had even halfway decent sex-ed in schools, these poor dumb sods would know that regular masturbation increases orgasmic responsiveness in women and tends to prevent premature ejaculation in men. Yeah, you could make your S.O. 'prove he loves you' by only orgasming with you, but then s/he'll be veering wildly betwen 'not there, piss off til a better time' and 'on a hair-trigger, oops so sorry, all done now' a lot of the time, and what the hell fun is that?

And then they wonder why their sex lives suck so bad that they're driven to say things like Some people really, REALLY DO NOT care how their partner is in bed.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]mambo, 2005-03-14 03:43 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]visp, 2005-03-15 12:36 am UTC

[info]gal_montag
2005-03-14 03:42 am UTC (link)
Bitch said some of the most dumbass shit I've read in awhile, and calls *everybody* a nigger. Batting a thousand.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]annabelle_lee, 2005-03-14 08:44 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]gal_montag, 2005-03-14 08:57 am UTC

[info]nevadafighter
2005-03-14 03:43 am UTC (link)
*goes to read, gets distracted, and goes to jerk off instead*

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]elfy, 2005-03-14 08:01 am UTC

[info]marylake
2005-03-14 04:15 am UTC (link)
If this WAS 50 years ago or longer, I would be surrounded by thunderous applause.

That's why it's called "progress", honey.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]teratologist, 2005-03-14 05:18 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]twocorpses, 2005-03-14 05:33 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]plazmah, 2005-03-14 08:25 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]annabelle_lee, 2005-03-14 08:47 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]twocorpses, 2005-03-14 05:09 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]annabelle_lee, 2005-03-15 03:37 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]marks, 2005-03-15 04:08 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]twocorpses, 2005-03-14 05:08 pm UTC

[info]innsmouth_eyes
2005-03-14 04:47 am UTC (link)
The Chestburster is too phallic! H.R. Giger said so! He also called the Facehuggers "ambulatory penises" and the head of the fully grown Xenomorph is definitely phallic, not to mention all the vaginas that can be found on the derelict space craft...wow, now I'm wanking about wanking about wanking fatal disk error data may be lost abort/retry?_

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]feloniousfeline, 2005-03-14 05:17 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]innsmouth_eyes, 2005-03-14 05:32 am UTC
Just saw Alien vs. Predator... - (Anonymous), 2005-03-16 05:49 am UTC
Re: Just saw Alien vs. Predator... - [info]feloniousfeline, 2005-03-16 06:16 am UTC
Re: Just saw Alien vs. Predator... - [info]innsmouth_eyes, 2005-03-16 08:06 am UTC
Re: Just saw Alien vs. Predator... - [info]feloniousfeline, 2005-03-16 08:12 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]heddychaa, 2005-03-14 11:12 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-03-15 01:42 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]tangentialone, 2005-03-16 04:07 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]innsmouth_eyes, 2005-03-16 08:05 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]tangentialone, 2005-03-16 08:11 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]tangentialone, 2005-03-16 08:13 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]innsmouth_eyes, 2005-03-16 09:26 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]tangentialone, 2005-03-17 04:50 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]the_wanlorn, 2005-03-16 06:21 am UTC

[info]chaoscheebs
2005-03-14 05:10 am UTC (link)
PEOPLE PAY TO JERK OFF. PEOPLE BUY THEIR LITTLE VIDEOS AND MAGAZINES TO WACK IT. That's so pathetic.

Yeah, I mean, there's so much out there for free on the internet; you'd be silly to pay! XD

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]twocorpses, 2005-03-14 05:34 am UTC

[info]sitt_isis
2005-03-14 05:29 am UTC (link)
I'd rather be a fuck stick than a fuck box, a cum rescepticle...

I'm not talking about role-playing or anything. Women being in charge during sex, what a laugh. That's just a little fantasy, a little dream that certain girls have, in which they pretend not to be the one possessing inferior strength...It's quite sad really. But, hey, if they like kidding themselves they can go ahead and do it.



What a lovely little attitude she's got! Hopefully someone will shoot it. Soon.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]sarracenia, 2005-03-14 05:44 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]jrs1980, 2005-03-14 05:53 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]iczer6, 2005-03-14 06:25 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]gal_montag, 2005-03-14 08:59 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]blue_linnet, 2005-03-14 11:37 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-03-14 01:38 pm UTC
(no subject) - redwarrior, 2005-03-15 12:50 am UTC

(Anonymous)
2005-03-14 05:53 am UTC (link)
Masturbation is better than rape? I would say yes, but perhaps we should call in ginmar for a definitive ruling. After all, for all we know, masturbation may BE rape.

If klavier isn't just trying to stir shit, I actually feel kind of sorry for her because, from her comments, girl seems to have some REALLY deep-seated self-loathing. By her own admission, she hates her body, she hates being female, she hates humans...I mean, ouch. Get some therapy, yo.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]teratologist, 2005-03-14 06:19 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]beandelphiki, 2005-03-15 07:13 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ignatius, 2005-03-14 08:27 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]innsmouth_eyes, 2005-03-14 08:41 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ignatius, 2005-03-14 08:56 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]innsmouth_eyes, 2005-03-14 08:39 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]julia, 2005-03-15 04:53 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]gal_montag, 2005-03-14 09:01 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]rachelmap, 2005-03-14 12:12 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-03-15 05:27 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]big_bad_wolf, 2005-03-21 10:21 pm UTC

[info]annabelle_lee
2005-03-14 08:57 am UTC (link)
That's nice. The next train for Logic is at 12:30; maybe she should get on it before her brain tries to kill her with all its' stupidity.

dingdingdingdingding...and it's gone. Whoops.

(Reply to this)


[info]adora_spintriae
2005-03-14 01:02 pm UTC (link)
Oh! Oh! Souji icon! *fangirls*

Meanwhile, back at the wank...

I was like "AW SHIT."

Bitch, if you're not going to use it, send it to me. Ungrateful little twat. Seriously, wtf? Bagel instead of orgasm? Are you nuts?

So, who wants to tell her she got "wanked"? *snrkle*

(Reply to this)


[info]suziecroft
2005-03-14 01:27 pm UTC (link)
There's something beautifully recursive about wank wank.

(Reply to this)


[info]greenglass
2005-03-14 01:30 pm UTC (link)
I'd rather a partner of mine not be a two pump chump.

I wonder what she thinks of handjobs? (After all, you are masturbating for someone!) Or anal sex? (Someone is sticking something in a bad orafice, regardless if the receiver likes it!)

Really, there's nothing better than spending an afternoon with a loved one and getting off while watching them get off.

(Reply to this)


[info]kerikeri
2005-03-14 04:39 pm UTC (link)
Ah, [info]klavier. I first encountered her special brand of batshit insanity on the porn_debate community. I'm sure it's not surprising that she was on the anti-porn side. (I'm not saying everyone who's against porn is insane, but when you can't come up with a better argument for its banning than "because sex is icky!", you've got some problems.)

She used to piss me off, but now I just kind of feel sorry for her. I've never seen anyone with so many hangups and unresolved issues about sexuality.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-03-15 01:47 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]mistressrenet, 2005-03-15 02:06 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]funwithrage, 2005-03-15 06:02 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]kerikeri, 2005-03-15 06:37 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]mastervex, 2005-03-16 04:12 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]tangentialone, 2005-03-16 04:55 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]tangentialone, 2005-03-16 05:16 am UTC


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