Current mood:

Goofy

Possessed doll for sale on eBay
No, seriously. A stuffed Stich (as in Lilo and Stich) doll is causing them troubles. They keep trying to get rid of, but it keeps coming back!!1!1one

Trying to dump the Stitch in different places, on the other side of the city, etc. became a regular thing. Since no one believed us when we tried to tell the story, there was nothing else we could really do. Thankfully, neither my fiance nor I were seriously hurt at all - the only injury worth mentioning was it had tripped me (as far as I can tell) as I walked down our front steps one day. I didn't notice it there when leaving the house, and I definitely caught my foot on something, and when I turned back, it was there. Thank god I only got a scraped knee & palm.

It did something to his dog:

In the early evening on a Thursday, I let our dog outside, just as we normally do all the time. After he had been outside for about 10 minutes, I thought maybe he had found some food, or something else to eat, as he usually does. I looked outside, and saw him laying in the snow, and he wasn't moving. I ran outside, and grabbed him, and noticed the Stitch toy laying beside him. Our dog was breathing, but unconscious. I rushed him inside, and called the vet. We were able to take him to the emergency clinic, and after examining him, we were told that they could notice nothing actually wrong with him. It appeared that he had just passed out, but his blood pressure was extremely high, and he was still having problems breathing. They kept him overnight for observation, which was good, because I wanted him kept as safe as possible.

When we got home, we decided to burn the toy in our fireplace, but we could not get it to light. We even tried lighter fluid, but as soon as it touched him, it was completely absorbed - he did not feel damp, and did not smell of the fluid.

He'll try to soften it up for the buyer:

The buyer is to pay for shipping, in whatever form they would like. I can dismember the item before shipping as well, if you would feel safer that way, but I can not guarantee it will arrive in this form. If you would like the toy shipped without being cut up, I will attempt to immobilize it with either duct tape, or rope, or a combination of the two. It is your choice.

I don't care that this this a troll who's out for money (the bid is up to US $132.50); it's still fucking funny.