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The Sinister Dr. Larimer ([info]phosfate) wrote in [info]otf_wank,
@ 2005-04-05 11:25:00
Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Current mood:Candy-Coated

"chat logs of witless noobs caught knickers-down are a literary form as old as the Web itself"
Update to Laura K. Pahl is a plagiarist, as the wank makes The Village Voice. We are directed to further examples of the genre at www.baiting.org.


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[info]llama_treats
2005-04-05 06:03 pm UTC (link)
"If Jesus were standing there next to you [which He is, in a way], how would He describe your cock?"

ROFL! <--literally

(Reply to this)


[info]mmmkay
2005-04-06 08:49 am UTC (link)

Jenny9956: *A group of militant Black Panthers and Farakhan come out from the brush, brandishing handcuffs, billyclubs, and dildos*
Jenny9956: *They look at me with lust*
samlizski: They have to get around me and my giant cock first!
Jenny9956: *In your heroic efforts you don't see me sneak behind you and hit you over the head with a pool-cue. You fall to the ground unconcious*
samlizski: Why?
samlizski: What the fuck?
Jenny9956: *I whip out my cock and start sodomizing you while the Black Panthers beat you with dildos....Farakhan wants some fine white meat, so he starts sucking your cock....All your holes are filled.*
samlizski: Your cock?
Jenny9956: *Then you realize...This is Earth....And in the future it is ruled by gay, black militant men......You cry out as you feel the wrath of 20 13 inch dildos across your face*
samlizski: Is it over?
Jenny9956: Yes, my cock...and it feels so good in your ass....
samlizski: Are you sure you are only 14?

*bookmarks*

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]stjarna
2005-04-06 10:16 am UTC (link)
How did I miss that? :o

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]mmmkay
2005-04-06 10:34 am UTC (link)
It was at the top of the list, first link I clicked.

Should have stopped while I was ahead.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]snacky
2005-04-06 03:25 pm UTC (link)
I couldn't stop laughing at the sheer ridiculousness of this:

NYCockExchange: You should seriously spend a little time staring at your balls. Can't you just stare at your balls for two minutes?

lickermgr: i dont see skulls ok

NYCockExchange: I'm seeing at least 5 skulls in your balls, man. You didn't stare at your balls for the two whole minutes. Do it! Stare at your balls!!!
<
lickermgr: id rather stare at your pics send them

NYCockExchange: STARE AT YOUR BALLS!!! RIGHT NOW, GODDAMMIT!!! STARE!!!!

lickermgr: ok i still dont see any skulls your seeing stuff

NYCockExchange: STARE AT YOUR BALLS!!! GLARE AT YOUR GROIN!!! LET YOUR TESTICLES LEAVE YOU IN A TRANCE!!

lickermgr: no u do that

NYCockExchange: Let your eyes take charge; let the right eye say unto the left eye, "Eye of Left, that is Nut of Right and his brother, Nut of Left." Then the Left Eye shall looketh toward both Nuts, and sayeth unto them, "Hello, Nut!!! Nut of Left, it is quite a pleasure to have finally met you. I have heard of your fame and reputation for some time, now. Nut of Right, it is quite an honor to meet a testicle of your prestige."

NYCockExchange: And then, there will be silence. Because the Nuts, themselves, cannot speak.

lickermgr: ok so send me a pic

NYCockExchange: And then!!! The eyes will say unto each other, "We should both invite them into our homes, to get to know those Most Venerable, Sagacious Nuts!" And they agreed. Together, they both rolled from their sockets... and, from the skies, a Hand of God grabbed each of thy testicles, and stuffed it into the thine eyesockets.

lickermgr: just send me a pic

NYCockExchange: ...Therefore, paying the price for every woman who ever had a guy nut in her eyes; you will LITERALLY have nuts in your eyes. In fact, you will have nuts FOR eyes, and you'll have eyesocket-blood soaking your scrotum. You will be the Christ of Those Who Have Nutted In A Chick's Eyes. You shall become their destiny; they will pray to you for forgiveness. And through your blood, their sins will be absolved.

NYCockExchange: In order for the prophecy to be fulfilled, you must receive a Bukkake Baptism: Will you take the final step towards becoming a Cumshot Christ? The Holy Son of the Holy Father of Facials?

lickermgr: no just send me pics

NYCockExchange: STARE AT YOUR BALLS!! SEE THE SKULLS, REPRESENTING THE DEATH OF THOSE WHO FIND NEW LIFE IN YOU, JIZZUS CUMSHOT CHRIST!!! GREAT AND HOLY ARE YOUR POWERS TO FORGIVE THOSE WHO HAVE LEFT HOT, STICKY GOBS OF THEIR D.N.A. ALL OVER THEIR PARTNER'S EYEBALLS!!! STARE AT YOUR BALLS, SAVIOUR OF THE SCROTUM!! STARE AT YOUR BALLS, HOLY PRINCE OF THE PACKAGE!!!

lickermgr: send me pics please

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]zuzu
2005-04-06 05:18 pm UTC (link)
ACK! I can't stop crying for laughing so hard!

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]mastervex
2005-04-07 05:21 am UTC (link)
Oh, my poor lungs.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

  
   
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