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Egplant dike ass ([info]jrs1980) wrote in [info]otf_wank,
@ 2005-04-08 14:55:00


Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Get out of my town, you're making my town look stupid.
My hometown paper (The St. Cloud (MN) Times) has a website. They have message boards where you can comment on the stories. It is a wankfest that never ends.

The Opinion page had an editorial by the paper's editorial board about the state House seeking a ban on gay marriage. Their editorial which comes down on the side of "con". I just said editorial a lot.

The message board is not threaded, but it has 138 comments so far, including a Hitler/Idi Amin namecheck in the first post. Very few posts actually refer the article in question. A few highlights.

hillbilly: Calling homosexuals a minority is lame. Saying a law against gay marriage is lame. You could say that murderers are a minority and that calling murder a crime is legislation aganst a minority. The same could be said about drug users, rapists,speeders, and any other type of crime. But soceity deems these acts to be illegal. Why can it not deem gay marriage to be illegal?

peepers from cheeseland: I know better than anyone else…blah…blah…..blah…..blah….my bible says blah…blah ….blah….blah…..blah…..fox news says….blah ………blah……blalh……blab

Bill from Lake Wobegon: Even if you leave God out of the equation, there's something wrong with the plumbing scenario. The alimentary canal has a specific purpose -- it's an exit!

Trying to Understand from Just Right of Center: So Bill -- You are saying you want to outlaw all sex that uses the "alimentary canal". Guess that means no more oral sex for heterosexuals.

Ma Cheri from SR: However, when I need to explain to my child why 2 women or 2 men are going at it in public, granted, that is not the norm, but not only can I not explain it because I don’t understand it either, nor do I really care to but I am so creeped out, for those of you that believe a higher power created man and are in favor of granting same sex marriage, you better be thanking that higher power that god (or whoever) did not settle on 2 men or 2 women because man would have extinct themselves, is that what you want.

And as someone posted earlier, even animals know better, some may eat their young, it is nature, but they sure don’t mate with the same sex, why? Becuase it is UNNATURAL.

Farley from Minnesota: And as someone posted earlier, even animals know better, some may eat their young, it is nature, but they sure don’t mate with the same sex, why? Becuase it is UNNATURAL.
We used to have a hunting dog that used to hump plywood. That is pretty unnatural, too. We also used to have a dog that would hump anyones leg he could. That is pretty unnatural, too.

By the way, have you ever dyed your hair? That is pretty unnatural, too.

Ma Cheri from SR: Your analogy is redicilous

Ma Cheri from SR: Why not just give in to you, give welfare to everyone that wants it, who needs education, it is my right to sit at home, have babies, and collect unearned money IF I WANT TO, lets stop intervening on drug use and selling regardless of who, because after all, being in possession of a drug or selling it is just a law, and I am sure it is infringing on someone’s right to prosperity out there by having it illegal. This is a dumb topic.

Farley from Minnesota: Ma Cheri- You sure sound like a happy and fun person.

Farley from Minnesota: Ryan- Perhaps some of these posters on here are insecure in their "real" marriages and are afraid their spouses will run off with their best friends, if same-sex marriage is legal? Or..gasp....The posters, themselves, are afraid of what they may do.
That closet must be a lonely place.

Max from SC: Farley,
Are you accusing me of homosexuality because you think it is something to be ashamed of?

Very curious comment from someone who says there is nothing wrong with it. Could it be a litle birdie with a still, small voice is telling you something?
And on it goes. Until tomorrow.


(Post a new comment)


[info]kadath
2005-04-08 09:28 pm UTC (link)
*resigns from the human race*

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]adora_spintriae
2005-04-09 02:17 am UTC (link)
*goes with you*

Can I be a xenomorph instead? I always wanted acidic blood and my offspring to headfuck unsuspecting spacemen.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]aerobot
2005-04-09 02:15 pm UTC (link)
I'm one of the few people who have faith in humanity, but recently, I am thiiiiiis close to joining you.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]bubosquared
2005-04-08 09:40 pm UTC (link)
What I want to know is, where does this Ma Cheri (and if you're going to use a speudo-French handle, at least spell it fucking right!) person see two men or two women "going at it" in public? Cause the worst PDAs I see are comitted by teenaged het couplets who insist on slobbering all over each other on the bus during my goddamned commute. (Hands down trousers and all. Thanks for ruining my appetite, fuckers.)

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]jrs1980
2005-04-08 09:42 pm UTC (link)
Especially since, heh. St. Cloud is 90% repressed Catholics. I think she's saying that that's what will happen if gay marriage is legalized?

"Hey, remember that time we got married? *tongue action*"

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]isobelsomething, 2005-04-11 12:03 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]jrs1980, 2005-04-11 10:15 am UTC

[info]iscoffy
2005-04-08 09:43 pm UTC (link)
Probably in her own special world where there is no homosexual sex among animals, and where drug dealing and welfare moms are part of the "gay conspiracy."

My favorite part is where things disintigrate into, "I know you are but what am I?"

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]crabapple_pie
2005-04-08 10:33 pm UTC (link)
Personally, I find it grievously offensive that I have never seen "2" hot men/women "go at it" with each other in public. Instead, all I have seen, like you, are the slobbery het couples. Either I'm always in the wrong place at the wrong time, or they're avoiding me.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]bubosquared, 2005-04-08 10:50 pm UTC
oh god - [info]crabapple_pie, 2005-04-08 11:02 pm UTC
Re: oh god - [info]crabapple_pie, 2005-04-08 11:03 pm UTC
Re: oh god - [info]bubosquared, 2005-04-08 11:05 pm UTC
Re: oh god - [info]atalantapendrag, 2005-04-09 10:11 am UTC
Re: oh god - [info]suzywongdress, 2005-04-09 03:32 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]rosehiptea, 2005-04-09 12:11 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]annabelle_lee, 2005-04-09 07:10 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]nicolae, 2005-04-08 11:11 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]adora_spintriae, 2005-04-09 02:26 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-04-09 11:52 am UTC

[info]kookaburra
2005-04-08 10:43 pm UTC (link)
Yeah. I'm an equal opportunity discriminator- No excessive PDA's for hetero- OR homosexual couples.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]selenis, 2005-04-09 08:05 pm UTC

[info]miss_kitten
2005-04-08 09:41 pm UTC (link)
So Bill -- You are saying you want to outlaw all sex that uses the "alimentary canal". Guess that means no more oral sex for heterosexuals.

Yep. And no more gastrointestinal fucking. At all.

It is a sad day for those of us who, every once in a while, enjoy a poke in the small intestine. A sad day indeed.

(Reply to this)


[info]cairea
2005-04-08 09:59 pm UTC (link)
And as someone posted earlier, even animals know better, some may eat their young, it is nature, but they sure don’t mate with the same sex, why? Becuase it is UNNATURAL.

So . . . no one told this to the eagles in the town where I grew up.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]melusine
2005-04-08 10:05 pm UTC (link)
I'm reminded of a book I saw once about homosexuality in birds. It was a rather large book (with, if I remember correctly, a pidgeon mating with a sparrow on the cover).

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]dorothy1901, 2005-04-08 10:30 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]dorothy1901, 2005-04-08 10:31 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]melusine, 2005-04-08 10:39 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]nicolae, 2005-04-08 11:13 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]tangentialone, 2005-04-09 06:08 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]cairea, 2005-04-08 11:57 pm UTC

[info]crabapple_pie
2005-04-08 10:27 pm UTC (link)
some may eat their young, it is nature,
...
don’t mate with the same sex, why? Becuase it is UNNATURAL.


I can just see this woman's family dinner:

Ma Cherie's Husband: I think there's something wrong with this pie, hon. It tastes a little strange.
Ma Cherie: Oh no honey, I assure you, it is in fact all-natural!
Ma Cherie's Husband: Where are the children?

Babies: healthy, nutritious, and best of all, ALL-NATURAL!

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]bubosquared
2005-04-08 11:31 pm UTC (link)
's what I'm sayin', man. She really seems to be saying it's fine to eat babies.

Cartman: "WOMAN! Get back in that kitchen and make me some BABY PIE!"

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]nicolae
2005-04-08 11:10 pm UTC (link)
I love that it's natural for me to kill and eat my young, but not to fuck another chick.

I wonder how that will go over in court.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]jrs1980, 2005-04-09 09:22 am UTC

[info]greenling
2005-04-09 02:15 am UTC (link)
Even if you leave God out of the equation, there's something wrong with the plumbing scenario. The alimentary canal has a specific purpose -- it's an exit!

I love people thinking their boring, one-dimensional sex lives dictate morality.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]lindentree, 2005-04-09 05:34 am UTC

[info]adora_spintriae
2005-04-09 02:30 am UTC (link)
I say we go back to ye olden times when only the rich married. I mean, if you've got nothing to pass onto your kids (adopted or otherwise), who really cares?

(Reply to this)


[info]xturtle
2005-04-09 02:30 am UTC (link)
Hello from Minneapolis. *hangs head in embarassment for her state*

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]mireille, 2005-04-09 03:33 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]lindentree, 2005-04-09 05:29 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]jrs1980, 2005-04-11 10:12 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-04-09 12:04 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]siobhania, 2005-04-09 04:33 pm UTC

[info]greypearl
2005-04-09 05:06 am UTC (link)
The alimentary canal has a specific purpose -- it's an exit!

Because nothing ever came out of a vagina.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-04-09 11:54 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-04-09 11:45 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-04-10 07:18 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]isobelsomething, 2005-04-11 12:07 am UTC

(Anonymous)
2005-04-09 05:13 am UTC (link)
I stopped reading after hillbilly's second sentence, which is sad because the wank was barely started, but "Saying a law against gay marriage is lame" is what?
--is lame?
--is cool?
--is reprehensible?

Or is it just the mere mention of(saying) a law against gay marriage that is lame?
Or is it supposed to be "Sating a law against gay marriage is lame?" Not that I know how one goes about "sating" a law, but at least the 't' is close to the 'y' and it makes a proper sentence.

(Reply to this)


[info]lindentree
2005-04-09 05:25 am UTC (link)
OMG. Excuse me while I wank.

I hate (see? italics of righteous indignation!) when people use the "animals don't practice homosexuality, therefore it is unnatural" argument. Hey, dumbfucks? ANIMALS DO PRACTICE HOMOSEXUALITY. There are numerous examples of animals being known to enjoy homosexual relations. Seriously, I do not understand where people get all this crap about homosexuality never occuring in nature outside of humans. JUST NOT TRUE. Unfortunately, I do not have any sources to back up that claim, but I SWEAR.

*cough* Back to your pointing and laughing, nothing to see here.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]rosehiptea, 2005-04-09 10:33 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]rosehiptea, 2005-04-09 10:34 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]nolifeking, 2005-04-09 11:28 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-04-09 04:14 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]greenling, 2005-04-10 08:48 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]renata_hpjc, 2005-04-11 05:18 am UTC

[info]ladysorka
2005-04-09 06:17 am UTC (link)
Ooh, you're from St. Cloud? *waves* My mother grew up in Cold Spring.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]teresa, 2005-04-09 03:55 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]ladysorka, 2005-04-09 08:14 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]jrs1980, 2005-04-11 10:13 am UTC

[info]warchio
2005-04-09 10:52 am UTC (link)
you better be thanking that higher power that god (or whoever) did not settle on 2 men or 2 women because man would have extinct themselves, is that what you want.

That gets me because if I did believe in a god that created the universe, is omnipotent, omniscient and generally a big, all-knowing beard in the sky...I would kind of figure that if he had decided that two men should get together to make babies instead of a man and a woman.....he would have remembered to make it biologically possible for them to HAVE babies.

Not to mention the whole 'what would you have done if you Dad/Mum had been gay and you'd never been born! huh huh!' makes me snort.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]lurker32, 2005-04-09 01:33 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]pyratejenni, 2005-04-09 04:19 pm UTC

[info]tianxiaode
2005-04-09 05:25 pm UTC (link)
Semi-related:

I'm currentlly living in the not-quite-so-deep-south (dammit), and working at the small local newspaper.

Someone made an ad for a local car dealership, with a "Spring" theme--flowers and butterflies. During the week the ad ran, apparently a group of homosexual men showed up at the dealership checking out the cars.

This scared the car dealership. Apparently, the owner now feels the "flowers and buterflies" attracted the gay population to his dealership, and we are to make his ads more "macho."

I'm thinking musclebound men in leather.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]greenling, 2005-04-10 08:50 pm UTC

(Anonymous)
2005-04-09 09:49 pm UTC (link)
Simple wank reporting... here:

http://www.livejournal.com/community/metaquotes/2901951.html?nc=25

There's troll spooge, waaaaambulance calling, dears, sweeties, a few darlings as well, complete with images!

*scuttles off with cheese*

(Reply to this)

chocolate cow crap
(Anonymous)
2006-09-20 09:25 pm UTC (link)

assertion Suwanee fierce witnesses beckoned ten accordance

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Re: chocolate cow crap - [info]jrs1980, 2006-10-22 12:37 am UTC

 
   
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