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Random Dent (![[info]](http://www.journalfen.net/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} random_dent) wrote in ![[info]](http://www.journalfen.net/img/community.gif){kind=small} otf_wank,@ 2005-05-14 21:00:00 |
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Restaurant Wank
I love food. I really do. Especially really good food. However, there is 'very good food' and 'very wanky food', and this is just wanky:
http://forums.egullet.org/index.php?s=8
There are some particular titles that leap out: "FOIE GRAS rhubarb, sweet onion, walnut". I have this feeling that this is what's left at the back of the Queen's fridge when she's forgotten to go shopping.
Plates? Plates are for losers! We put our food on coathangers!
One for Dr Who fans only; but doesn't that look just like Adam's pre-frozen vomit?
You can tell it's a posh place; when the waiters spit in the food they take the time to get up a huuuge mouthful of spit.
Then you can read the pages and pages of "Oh Daaaaaahling, the food looks simply Maaaaahhhvelous".
The tastes were extraordinary and if they weren't they were always interesting. I find lots of things interesting. There is a huge difference between 'interesting' and 'yummy'. And even the normal stuff: "apricots, puffed wild rice maybe, yogurt--and suddenly you realize you're eating breakfast, a yogurt and granola breakfast"; yeah, but I don't pay $175 for my yoghurt and granola.
Just when you thought it couldn't get any wankier... graphs are produced.
And you have to pee in time with the service, of course.
This meal takes seven and a half hours to eat. My arse would be numb and I'd have pins and needles in that length of time. And 28 courses or not, with portions that tiny I might well have sent out for some chips to stop myself starving.
I love food. I really do. Especially really good food. However, there is 'very good food' and 'very wanky food', and this is just wanky:
http://forums.egullet.org/index.php?s=8
There are some particular titles that leap out: "FOIE GRAS rhubarb, sweet onion, walnut". I have this feeling that this is what's left at the back of the Queen's fridge when she's forgotten to go shopping.
Plates? Plates are for losers! We put our food on coathangers!
One for Dr Who fans only; but doesn't that look just like Adam's pre-frozen vomit?
You can tell it's a posh place; when the waiters spit in the food they take the time to get up a huuuge mouthful of spit.
Then you can read the pages and pages of "Oh Daaaaaahling, the food looks simply Maaaaahhhvelous".
The tastes were extraordinary and if they weren't they were always interesting. I find lots of things interesting. There is a huge difference between 'interesting' and 'yummy'. And even the normal stuff: "apricots, puffed wild rice maybe, yogurt--and suddenly you realize you're eating breakfast, a yogurt and granola breakfast"; yeah, but I don't pay $175 for my yoghurt and granola.
Just when you thought it couldn't get any wankier... graphs are produced.
And you have to pee in time with the service, of course.
This meal takes seven and a half hours to eat. My arse would be numb and I'd have pins and needles in that length of time. And 28 courses or not, with portions that tiny I might well have sent out for some chips to stop myself starving.
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