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Who knew Armageddon could be so barbecue-tasty ([info]mistressrenet) wrote in [info]otf_wank,
@ 2005-06-01 20:47:00


Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Current mood:Fan-Fucking-tastic

Parenting wank is the best kind of wank!
Neal Pollack posts an essay on online magazine Salon about his two-year-old son's getting expelled from preschool. For biting. A lot. Hard enough to draw blood.

In the letters column of Salon a few days later: Six pages of responses, most variations on the theme of "Bitch, please." Highlights include a lot of advocation of spanking, a little sympathy, quite a few people wondering why Salon published the article in the first place, and one very angry father whose own child was bit by some obnoxious little twerp in preschool.

The blogosphere has pretty much the same opinion: Rebecca Hartong refers to them as People Who Shouldn't Have Children, and most of her audience agrees. Then Neil's wife and the biter's the boy's mom Regina wades into the fray.

Hartong also discovers that Salon edited the article to delete Regina's describing her son as "the little shit."

Neal Pollack himself whines about the whole thing in his blog.

If you think it's too tl;dr:



And yes, I have issues with attention whores whipping their milkbags out in public to show off what a goddamned wonderful Earth Goddess they are. Which sounds right up your alley, Regina — after all, it's not really about Elijah, it's about you and Neil.

Reginleif has a serious personality disorder and I feel very sorry for them. Some mommies aren't all about whipping out their milk bags because they want to show off what earth mothers they are, but because that's the way breastfeeding works! Breastfeeding is the healthiest, most nurturing way to feed the baby. I'm sorry you are so afraid of a little nipple. Get over it.


**

Mr. and Mrs. Pollack evidently believe, without much reflection, in the market theory of raising Elijah: Throw money at the problem in the hopes that someone else will do the dirty work for them.

When did Salon turn into a confessional for parents who can't handle their kids?

Did they think kids arrive as miniature adults? It is the human nature to be beastly. Kids are little savages and it's up to their parents to civiliize them enough to make it possible for innocent bystanders to encounter their kids without bite scars. If you don't want to be the disciplinarian all of the time, don't be a parent.



Sorry I couldn't find the one where the Pollacks got compared to the Mengeles. If you find it, I'll link it!



(Post a new comment)


[info]pepperlandgirl4
2005-06-02 03:06 am UTC (link)
Wow, Reginleif was wanking so hard on Rebecca Hartong's Journal, she's probably chapped.

(Reply to this)


[info]jaina
2005-06-02 03:14 am UTC (link)
The part that really gets to me is the geniuses screeching "OMG Y R U JUDGEING THEM!?!?!?"

Uh, because he put his story up on the Internet for all to read, dipshits. What was he expecting, fawning adoration that neither he nor his wife actually seem to want to parent their child?

It boils down to this: if he didn't want complete strangers judging his parenting, then he shouldn't have posted a tell-all, whiny article on a widely read Internet site.

Also, I love how few of the defenders ever mention the poor kid with the *scabbed-over bite marks* courtesy of darling little Elijah.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]mistressrenet
2005-06-02 03:16 am UTC (link)
Also, I love how few of the defenders ever mention the poor kid with the *scabbed-over bite marks* courtesy of darling little Elijah.
I tell you, that's the part that, as a parent, makes any sympathy for those two evaporate altogether.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]iczer6
2005-06-02 03:22 am UTC (link)
Also, I love how few of the defenders ever mention the poor kid with the *scabbed-over bite marks* courtesy of darling little Elijah.

I know. I love how they try to justify it with 'but he's smart and sensitive just high strung'.

Honey he's brutally attacking another child, if you have enough time to whine on the internet then you can get your kid to a fucking doctor, though that means actually spending time with him and God knows we can't have that.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]smo, 2005-06-02 03:54 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]kookaburra, 2005-06-02 11:47 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]visp, 2005-06-05 12:50 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]kookaburra, 2005-06-05 03:40 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]rachelmap, 2005-06-02 08:23 am UTC

[info]mariann
2005-06-02 03:15 am UTC (link)
Here's the entry called After MASH with the Mengele mention.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]mistressrenet
2005-06-02 03:17 am UTC (link)
Oh, I thought someone had actually done it. Ah, Pollack, your satire would be better if you were ever, you know, funny.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]charmian, 2005-06-02 04:59 am UTC

[info]iczer6
2005-06-02 03:17 am UTC (link)
We love him very much, but that's not the kind of work either of us wants, at least not full time.

If this is supposed to be funny then I'm not getting it. To me it sounds like self-absorbed whining from someone who shouldn't be a parent.


(Reply to this)


[info]ailei
2005-06-02 03:25 am UTC (link)
Oh please. My boy went through the same thing at 2 - he was bitten, he bit. He had scabs, he left scabs. Violent? Yes. They're 2 year old boys. Duck and fucking cover, people. Granted, he was never kicked out of his Montessori for it, but he also learned better eventually, and so did the other kids. His teacher, who'd been doing this for many years, said it wasn't all that unusual for there to just be...outbreaks. Where a bunch of kids figure out they have teeth, and use them with no common sense at all. We weren't Mengele. This guy isn't Mengele. Sheesh.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]zaliesiren
2005-06-02 03:35 am UTC (link)
I've worked at a center before. Trust me, outbreaks? Yeah, there were outbreaks like that among my toddlers, but the incidents where blood was drawn enough to scab over were few and limited to a small number of repeat offenders.

The kid is a kid, and he's just two, but he needs help.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


(Anonymous)
2005-06-02 06:07 am UTC (link)
We weren't Mengele. This guy isn't Mengele. Sheesh.

Mengele? Of course not, considering who he was and what he did it's just plain bad taste to bring him up here.

However I'm hoping that when your kid started biting you tried to *do* something about it besides whining on the internet.

Yes kids will bite, kick, scratch and scream, that doesn't give the right to abuse and torment their friends and classmates though.

Too many parents don't seem to get that you have to discipline a kid when they screw up. It won't kill their spirit or destroy their dreams.

I wonder if these people can't control their son at age 2 what are they gonna do when he becomes a teenager? There are issues here that aren't going to magically disappear because it inconveniences them.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]phosfate, 2005-06-02 02:11 pm UTC
(no subject) - coreopsis, 2005-06-02 04:13 pm UTC

[info]indis_earfalas
2005-06-02 12:47 pm UTC (link)
Eeeeeh, no. If a kid has repeatedly drawn blood, over the course of months, there's a problem.

With the kid and with the parents - and I sure as hell wouldn't want the feral little animal in kindy with any of my kids.

Yeah, kids bite all of the time and they grow out of it, my kids did it and all the kids I know did it, but the reason they grew out of it is because they got in trouble for it.

Is the guy Mengele? No, that's just silly. But he sucks at parenting and so does his wife - there's more to it than just loving the kid, you actually have to actively PARENT as well.

I feel sorry for the kid.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]oxydosic
2005-06-03 12:24 am UTC (link)
Sorry but i have 2 kids and i don't think the 'it's a 2 year old boy' is any excuse. There's this thing called discipline. It's the parent's job to teach their kids right from wrong. Little kids are not empty headed shells with no impulse control. They can learn to behave themselves.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]napoleon
2005-06-02 05:34 am UTC (link)
THESE PEOPLE SHOULD NOT BE PARENTS.

THESE PEOPLE. SHOULD NOT. BE PARENTS.

There's a well-know psychopathy wonk by the name of David Lykken who believes in parent licenses, and when I was in tenth grade, I used to say that I thought parents should have to be tested for psychological damage before being allowed to have kids. After reading this, I'm convinced that Lykken and I are right. I'm not saying they have a baby-psycho- or socio-path on their hands, but they need to fucking wake up. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY for your child. Jesus fucking Christ.

This isn't wank; this is disgusting.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]mistressrenet, 2005-06-02 11:03 am UTC

[info]drworm
2005-06-02 06:55 am UTC (link)
I love the one person who takes it and totally goes "AMERIKKKA IS BAD, YOU NO HAVE HEALTH CARE FOR ALL AND THAT'S WHAT'S REALLY WRONG!!!1" I mean, wow, peripheral wank much?

Is it a "family value" when parents are forced to spend precious little time with their children because they must work an ungodly number of hours? But hey at least those pesky gays can't get married, right?

Hilarity.

Really, I just wish more people would point out the fact that this guy isn't funny.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]mistressrenet, 2005-06-02 11:02 am UTC

[info]aerobot
2005-06-02 12:58 pm UTC (link)
I WANT TO KILL THESE PARENTS MORE THAN I HAVE EVER WANTED TO KILL BEFORE.

AIISFHOIOISDJAL;PLJ;FDFLIAHDSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGHHHHHHHH

*froths at the mouth*

(Reply to this)


[info]ingrid
2005-06-02 01:17 pm UTC (link)
It's always quite a mess when people have a child even though they've never actually met one before.

No one enjoys the toddler years. They are exhausting and thankless and frankly, most kids between two and three are impossible -- whining, tantrums, biting -- you name it. It's a constant job of parental correction, all day, sometimes much of the night too. Children at this stage are a giant, sucking black holes of need and you bet you're going to occasionally pray they would just disappear, not giving a hoot where they end up going or what they do to their hapless human victims while they're there.

However, *most* parents don't have the poor taste to express zero guilt about wishing the little darling out of their lives for as many hours as some other sucker will take them and even fewer parents are openly resentful when their plans at gaining freedom are squashed by a two-year old who isn't ready for the separation and a "uncaring" daycare center who doesn't want to spend every single minute giving one child out of two dozen the entire staff's constant attention.

Tough cookies, Pollacks. You two are lucky if you get to take a dump without the kid standing between your legs, pulling on your hand and throwing a tantrum on the bathroom floor when you don't get up off the throne fast enough for him -- and you want to write and paint all summer?

Puleeze. Call the gypsies. Maybe they'll take him off your hands.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]oxydosic, 2005-06-03 12:27 am UTC

[info]cat_mcdougall
2005-06-02 04:29 pm UTC (link)
This is where my mom mode comes in and says "All kids bite." It depends on when they start it. Mine, since I was still breastfeeding, started at about 14months. Guess what? Bite me once, I can and will put you down and you will not get what you want. My daughter learned real quick about not biting.

My others? Including my son? Yes they learned. However, there was hand smacking, time outs, and on one occasion biting back (don't knock it, it worked).

But that... I have to agree. They shouldn't be parents. Kids = sacrifice. It all depends on where the sacrifice might be. Financial, time, not taking that promotion, whatever.

Guys, get rid of the kid, (and don't hit me for the rest of this) get a cat and go on with your merry lives. Because you do not deserve to be parents. Oh? And the boy? Guess what? Trophy children? There's a lot of work before they get to that point.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]kookaburra, 2005-06-02 11:52 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]kookaburra, 2005-06-02 11:52 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]lindentreeisle, 2005-06-03 02:24 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]kookaburra, 2005-06-03 02:41 am UTC

[info]karina
2005-06-02 08:08 pm UTC (link)
I'm sure Ayelet Waldman must be so relieved that the pressure's off her.

What gets me is that the Pollacks seemed to think that the day care, for all the money they spent on it, should've taken care of their son's behavioral problems. That and the lack of affection toward their child. Yeah, kids can be "little shits" but at the end of the day, you love them and you'd do anything for them. I didn't get that vibe from the Pollacks.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]thebratqueen, 2005-06-02 08:18 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]karina, 2005-06-02 08:36 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]thebratqueen, 2005-06-02 08:38 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-06-02 09:33 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]geegaw, 2005-06-03 08:39 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]mistressrenet, 2005-06-03 09:30 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]kookaburra, 2005-06-05 03:51 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mistressrenet, 2005-06-03 09:29 pm UTC

[info]thebratqueen
2005-06-02 08:18 pm UTC (link)
I don't need to detail my life as a parent here. That can wait until my groundbreaking memoir, Daddy Was A Sinner, is published by Pantheon in the fall of 2006,

Not since Anne Rice have I seen such embarassingly bad autofellatio being passed off as a defense of the author's own parenting skills. Though props to Neal for going Anne one better and proclaiming the book groundbreaking before anyone else has a chance to read it and decide if it's useful or fodder for the birdcage.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]mistressrenet, 2005-06-03 09:31 pm UTC

[info]issendai
2005-06-02 09:36 pm UTC (link)
Neal Pollack reminds me of a single mother I used to know whose 10-year-old daughter had behavioral problems. The teachers at her private school called the mother into conference several times, then finally expelled the daughter. Afterwards, the mother claimed that she never knew the situation was serious or she'd have done something, the other kids at the school avoided her daughter because of her daughter's health problems and not her out-of-control behavior, etc. Lovely situation. The woman had no concept of what a normal 10-year-old was like or how to parent one, and she certainly didn't have much consideration for... well... anyone outside her immediate family circle.

Her final analysis of what ailed her daughter?

Her daughter was an alien with past life problems.

Points to the Pollacks for avoiding the cosmic woo-woo, but severe deductions for whining, "He's just high-strung! We didn't think it was that big a problem! You don't know us, so don't judge us!"

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-06-03 07:38 am UTC

[info]feenix
2005-06-02 10:45 pm UTC (link)
Opinions are like assholes: Everybody has one, and all of them stink.

I will say that I thought Pollack was right on one point: His son needed more attentive care, and the Montessori school wasn't quite suitable for that. Plus, the school should have referred them to a psychologist for help, IMO. (As - while they're still parents - they're not superheroes.)

That said...punish the little shit, or - better yet - give him positive reinforcement for not giving his "love interest" fabulous-looking bitemarks. So, hindsight's 20/20...but they're still the damn parents, not the childcare worker.

He's two. You can't expect him to drop everything in order for you to continue your careers. While it's not quite fair to the parents for them to drop everything for their children (as unhappy parents are just as bad as neglectful parents), they do have to make some sacrifices.

I wonder if the people over on [info]childfree are having a field day with this. This certainly displays a lot of the "breeder" stereotypes.

(Reply to this)


[info]annaham
2005-06-02 11:19 pm UTC (link)
That whole thing was PRICELESS. Hee, I love it when Salon gets wanky!

(Reply to this)


[info]oxydosic
2005-06-03 12:30 am UTC (link)
Why the fuck do people like this have kids. They obviously don't even like the kid, let alone love him.

One vasectomy and one tubal, stat!

(Reply to this)


(Anonymous)
2005-06-03 07:29 am UTC (link)
Oh thank god. I saw the article but none of the follow-up, and I though I was being a bitch for thinking that horrible little brat just needs a good slap...or his "parents" do.

(Reply to this)


[info]pyratejenni
2005-06-03 07:34 pm UTC (link)
Jesus fuck.

Pollack and his wife need to stop their fucking navel-gazing and raise their kid.

(Reply to this)


 
   
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