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zebeckras ([info]zebeckras) wrote in [info]otf_wank,
@ 2005-06-08 09:53:00


Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Current mood:*sporfle!*

All these warnings just make me want to do it more!
Well, this is a pretty tiny wank in a pretty tiny community, but I find the subject matter hilarious.

The LJ comm ghostly_stories is ostensibly a nice little place for people to share spooky things that have happened to them. Genuine postings are rather few and far between, however, and lately there have been a flood of "i see dead people!!!11!" posts. It's a slow community, though, so by "flood" I mean, oh, maybe ten in a month.

The latest to join and add her two cents is cukie_monster, whose first post is your standard dip your toe in the water and say "hello i like ghosts" kind of thing. She makes a point to mention that her house has had three people die in it, but apparently no one asks the right questions in the two replies that she gets, because a few days later, she decides to up the ante.

ive been thinking about pulling out the old ouiji board. ive never used it and i dont even know how i got it. but since three people have died here in my house, what are you guys' thoughts on this? i dont even know how a ouiji board works, so id have to figure that out first anyway, but can anyone tell me what they know about this? or maybe share some experiences?

Like I said, this is a pretty small wank, and I don't know how likely it is to grow, but what is in it up to now is pretty damned amusing.

The first response is from southernrebelle, who simply says, "DO NOT PULL OUT THAT BOARD!"

Others echo her warning, and the responses pretty much unanimously advise cukie_monster to step away from Teh Evil.

andromedatook: You mentioned in a previous post that just recording evps made you feel a little scared in your house. Doing a ouija board, especially if you contact someone/thing would make you feel a whole lot worse, moreso if the person/thing you contact isn't friendly.

lotus_chan: Just so you know, I once didn't research a protection spell. A demon came out to me and is still trying to kill me. That was two years ago.

And morkspoke gives her own, almost unintelligible reply, which may or may not also be a warning: if u have no experience, dnt try it. do not try ALONE or it can turn out to be dangerous. It can have part of this spirit in u, and control u in a way. one thing that made get away from these boards is the thought of i uncontrolably hittin my head on the wall, and so die.

Of course, as reverse psychology teaches us, cukie_monster is intrigued: maybe im just a dumbass, but all these stories make me want to do it even more.

And andromedatook and southernrebelle are upset. cukie_monster is offended that they're butting in, vents, and starts deleting posts. Fortunately, andromedatook has thoughtfully screencapped one of the deleted responses and politely runs off to get cukie banninated. Meanwhile, cukie reposts her reply with the bad wordsies cut out, and gets a "WTF?!" post from andromedatook in reply.

I've been waiting for WEEKS for some sort of drama to show up on this board; I am quite pleased now. *G*



(Post a new comment)


[info]phosfate
2005-06-08 05:25 pm UTC (link)
A demon came out to me and is still trying to kill me. That was two years ago.

It must be one of those really crappy, incompetent demons. Like Sammy Davis, Jr., in Poor Devil.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]zebeckras
2005-06-08 06:58 pm UTC (link)
I imagine it's trying to kill her through petty annoyances. Like pulling out her chair as she goes to sit down, giving her bad cases of indigestion, and so on. These things add up.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]ahiru
2005-06-08 07:08 pm UTC (link)
I figured it was trying to kill her by making her look silly on the Internet, in which case it's doing a splendid job.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - coreopsis, 2005-06-08 08:09 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]kraken_sleeps, 2005-06-08 08:32 pm UTC

[info]mpoetess
2005-06-08 11:11 pm UTC (link)
I'm just wondering why the demon chose lotus_chan to come out to. Just practising on the human before getting up the courage to tell its mom?

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]thebratqueen
2005-06-09 01:06 am UTC (link)
Personally I had no idea that not doing your homework resulted in the undead admitting that they're gay.

Hmm. You think this would work on our current VP?

(Oh what? Like he's not a zombie?)

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]iczer6, 2005-06-09 03:26 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]hellespont, 2005-06-11 04:51 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]thebratqueen, 2005-06-11 04:52 am UTC

[info]also_not_a_pipe
2005-06-08 05:43 pm UTC (link)
*snort* That's precious. The dumb is strong enough to keep me from wanting to go join and tell all of my ghostly stories, even. The thing I love about swapping Weird Shit stories even more than teh sp00ky is the people who take it all so damn seriously. It's hilarious.

if u ever use it, dont ask "can i c u?" cause ive heard of a second hand story of someone who asked that and she hasnt talked since (60yrs), and is now in a mad house.

Yes, because the forces of darkness are enraged by netspeak. Remember the librarian ghost at the beginning of "Ghostbusters?" All that without Peter even asking her "a/s/l?" Just imagine what would happen if you tried that crap on, say, a dead English major.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]zebeckras
2005-06-08 07:02 pm UTC (link)
Yes, because the forces of darkness are enraged by netspeak.

*cracks up* This idea just makes me happy. ^_~

Actually, it would be nice to hear some actual interesting stories on that comm (not to mention something that sounds like it might have actually happened... these kids have a way of writing their stories that make it clear they're lying. "OMG I am new here and all my life I have been seeing severed heads and demons beckoning me to certain doom, do you think it might be something supernatural?"). I was about a day away from giving up when this one showed up. *G*

btw, I have to ask where the "pas une pipe" picture came from. It looks like it's from a book similar to one I got, "Nom d'une pipe!", about nontranslatable colloquialisms in French and English.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]pepperlandgirl4
2005-06-08 07:52 pm UTC (link)
Her icon is a painting by Magritte. On the bottom it says, "This is not a pipe."

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]telophase
2005-06-08 07:26 pm UTC (link)
I love telling Weird Shit stories without having to worry about someone coming in and going "I hd 2 burn my oujie bord cuz demons wer tryn 2 kill me." (The sister of a friend of mine did exactly that. She was also doing serious drugs at the time, which I consider to be a more likely explanation for the phenomema she was expereincing.)

As a kid, the thing my friends were most worried about wiht the Ouija board was putting the planchette away without the little pin in the center. Because if you did that, someone would die. No, not necessarily someone you knew. Or someone in your city. Or state. Or country. I asked them "So ... if you lose the pin, some total random stranger in a foreign country is going to die?" And they agreed. And then couldn't explain how that made it any different from the thousands of total random strangers in foreign countries and your own who die every day. Sheesh. Idiots.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]thebratqueen
2005-06-09 01:03 am UTC (link)
I used to give ghost tours in the French Quarter. Occasionally my boss would have spare tour guides tag along on the tours of other guides to help herd huge crowds, hand out brochures to people who tried to glom on to the tour for free and, in the case of newbie guides, to actually learn the tour.

I was on brochure duty while a newbie guide by the name of Vlad ("I'm actually related to Vlad the Impaler.") tagged along to learn the ropes. At one point in a hallway of the Bourbon Orleans Vlad turned to me, his incredibly stoned eyes Willow-on-magic-crack wide, and reported that he could see faces in the rug.

I have no proof that these were the same ghosts that spurred him to, earlier, drop everything so that he could duck into a store and buy some chocolate, but perhaps if I use a Ouija board I can one day find out.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]hangingfire, 2005-06-09 04:45 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]thebratqueen, 2005-06-09 04:56 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]hangingfire, 2005-06-09 03:59 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]thebratqueen, 2005-06-09 04:07 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]iczer6, 2005-06-10 10:29 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]zebeckras, 2005-06-10 02:13 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]thebratqueen, 2005-06-10 07:33 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]mael, 2005-06-10 07:05 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]thebratqueen, 2005-06-10 07:29 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]hellespont, 2005-06-11 05:11 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mael, 2005-06-11 01:00 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]hellespont, 2005-06-11 05:08 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]thebratqueen, 2005-06-11 05:11 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]hellespont, 2005-06-11 05:14 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]thebratqueen, 2005-06-11 05:18 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]hellespont, 2005-06-11 05:31 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]also_not_a_pipe, 2005-06-09 08:21 am UTC

[info]feloniousfeline
2005-06-08 06:26 pm UTC (link)
Just so you know, I once didn't research a protection spell. A demon came out to me and is still trying to kill me. That was two years ago.

That demon is either incredibly inept, very determined, or really bored. I'm guessing the latter since I doubt there's any real good tv in Hell.

if u have no experience, dnt try it. do not try ALONE or it can turn out to be dangerous. It can have part of this spirit in u, and control u in a way. one thing that made get away from these boards is the thought of i uncontrolably hittin my head on the wall, and so die.

Maybe it was hoping to beat out the horrible typing skills. I see you won that battle, though.

maybe im just a dumbass, but all these stories make me want to do it even more.

Well, if it prevents you from speaking or typing for 60 years, then who am I to stop you.

(Reply to this)


[info]lurker32
2005-06-08 06:50 pm UTC (link)
A demon came out to me and is still trying to kill me.

Maybe you should have been more supportive about his life death unlife choices.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]hangingfire
2005-06-08 07:57 pm UTC (link)
*sporfle*

I was about to make a crack along those lines, but you beat me to it. And you were funnier than I would've been, anyway. :)

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]lurker32
2005-06-09 12:06 am UTC (link)
Thank you, thank you. :)

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]sewingmyfish
2005-06-08 07:04 pm UTC (link)
When I was back in middle school and going through my Fluffy Pagan stage my sister and her friend invited me to sit in on a midnight "seance" they were doing with a Ouija board. After about two minutes of the pointer moving it began to spell out creepy messages about killing people and coming to get us. Then at the stroke of midnight, the pointer flipped up from the board and flew at my head. I screamed so loud I woke the neighbors two doors down and jumped back as far as I could, flailing wildly. My hand connected with the pointer and that's when I discovered that my sister had tied fishing wire to it and her friend was moving it. After I calmed down I realized that maaaaaybe the portal to the afterlife wouldn't be manufactured by the makers of Candyland.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]threegoldfish
2005-06-08 07:14 pm UTC (link)
I don't know. I've always felt there was something vaguely demonic about Candyland. I mean, look at how hard it is to climb to heaven and how easy it is to slide RIGHT DOWN TO HELL.

[/channeling crazy baptist]

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]jess_d_ripper, 2005-06-09 01:19 am UTC

[info]telophase
2005-06-08 07:30 pm UTC (link)
I went to college in San Antonio, which has a Ghostly Railroad Crossing, where if you park your car on the railroad tracks and put it in neutral, it'll roll forward off the tracks by itself due to a trick in geography that makes the area look level. The rumor is, of course, that a bus full of schoolkids was hit there at some point in the past and now the kids push the car off the tracks. It is said that if you put baby powder on the bumper of your car, you'll see kids' handprints after it rolls off the tracks.

Strangely enough, all those people waiting in the car while the driver got out and put the powder on who swear up and down that they saw the handprints never quite realized how easy it is to put handprints on the bumper right after you've put the baby powder on and before you get back in the car. *innocent look*

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]rolling_my_eyes, 2005-06-08 09:53 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]schtroumph_c, 2005-06-09 03:27 pm UTC

[info]phosfate
2005-06-08 08:31 pm UTC (link)
I'm so very grateful that my sister is nowhere near that bright.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]sewingmyfish, 2005-06-09 03:43 pm UTC

[info]hangingfire
2005-06-08 07:59 pm UTC (link)
This is my favorite part of morkspoke's response:
oh btw, ever saw the exorcist? she used a ouija board alone, and look wat happened to her.. and jst as a fact, this movie is based on a true story, so it can happen.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


(Anonymous)
2005-06-08 09:14 pm UTC (link)
It was based on a true story.

Centered around a teenage male, usually listed under cases of severe poltergeist activity, and there's a 75% chance he was doing it all for attention anyway.

Yeah. Reeeeeeal reliable. I mean, I'm against messing with the dead on general principle, but sometimes I wonder if it isn't a kind of divine Darwinism...

~the mouse who consumes men's souls

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]mathilde
2005-06-09 02:59 pm UTC (link)
This is probably cruel-hearted, but am I the only one amused by their ghostly mod?

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]zebeckras
2005-06-09 03:05 pm UTC (link)
Nope. In fact my first thought on reading that was, that being the case, maybe ouija boards should be *encouraged* on this community so that they can enforce the rules. ;P

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]mastervex
2005-06-09 06:23 pm UTC (link)
My friend Karin and I messed with an ouija board once. We waited till night and had candles and turned the lights off, and all. We couldn't get the thingy to move very much unless we outright pushed it, and when it did move some, it said something like "5s3fg". It was pretty disappointing, because we'd gone all over the place looking for a board, hoping for a chance to get entertainingly creeped out.
Of course, it might have been that the spirits were insulted that we were trying to contact them with a crappy cardboard and plastic piece of junk with glow-in-the-dark paint on it.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]visp
2005-06-09 09:01 pm UTC (link)
*nods* Spirits have dignity, you know.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


(Anonymous)
2005-06-10 02:57 am UTC (link)
Someone please take a stab at this:

http://www.propertalent.co.uk/framer.html

Click the Bitch_of_the_Day link in the marquee at the top, then watch Dj Rap go from somewhat coherent if in need of a spellcheck (http://www.propertalent.co.uk/bitch_of_the_week.asp?show=44) to incoherent blithering (http://www.propertalent.co.uk/bitch_of_the_week.asp?show=146) and wanktastically insane (http://www.propertalent.co.uk/bitch_of_the_week.asp?show=163) - with gratuitous caps-lock abuse for flavor!

I've seen more comprehensible shit on a thirteen year old fangirl's livejournal.

(Reply to this)


 
   
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