Ninja wank!
Now all we need is some pirate wank to go with.

It's all here.

Starring the Three Horsepeople of the Wankopolypse:

fuckeu as 'Incoherence, Misuser of Punctuation'
hes litterally had actual ninja (as in ninjas, like ninjas, and not kungfu) trianing to go along with it. XD he loves sharp objects!

he was trianed by a ninja tho... they taught him all that ninja stuff dealing with energy, and sneakiness... its pretty neat his trainer was really serious. he said that his trainer became an actual ninja (i dont know what they call them) and has dragons burned into his arms from carrying something really hot.

i have seen what he can with a pair of knives... two very small knives... he could shred a man... the spining beauty!!! oh my god it truns me on!!! it makes me happy!!!!!

koed as 'Pretension, Defender of the One True Japanese Way'
I will admit a certain form of admiration for his tenacity. Unfortunately it is plowed under by his inability to debate effectively and his habit of making personal insults and attacks rather than fighting with good logic and facts.

You ignorant, worthless, POSER!

I, unlike someone else, have NEVER claimed to be a ninja, kussa, shinobi, etc.
I have sparred and beaten many who have. Call it a personal problem, but I hate to see the martial arts defiled by wanna-be-ninja.

gallowglas as 'Poorly Attempted Sarcasm'
I don't doubt that you know quite a bit about MODERN japanese. Before Mr. Hu would let me into his class for free I had to learn about the origins of modern japanese words and their meanings. I also had to learn how those meanings were changed over time through translation into the limited descriptor, english.

Sorry mr. know it all who thinks that its impossible to learn an art form and looks up ninja history on google, but ignorance is something that you are drowning in.

Thats real funny man. WOOOOOOo I had a good laugh on this post.

Also features Cluepons, bukkake jokes, and 12th circle purple lesbian ninja.

ETA: It just keeps going, yay!

(Post a new comment)

	kadath 2005-07-29 02:55 pm UTC (link)
	Ninja-schminja. I know how to use a handgun. :P (Reply to this)(Thread)

	memoriamvictus 2005-07-29 10:13 pm UTC (link)
	Indeed; Ching Ching-POW will defeat Dragon Style any day. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	kookaburra 2005-07-29 10:22 pm UTC (link)
	Ditto. Quite a few of my friends have watched a liiiiittle too much anime, and keep telling me that I should learn Kung-fu instead of heading out to the range, because it's more "flexible". I tell them to watch "Indiana Jones" and stop bothering me. (Reply to this)(Parent)

sitt_isis
2005-07-29 03:03 pm UTC (link)

She thinks that someone who practices ninjitsu is called a ninja.

My brother would like her way of thinking. ~~But he'd probably be disappointed he couldn't go on secret missions.~~

where did he find a ninja to train from? i heard they were all busy flipping out and killing people, and i'd have to go on a waiting list.

I think ninjas (aside from the ones in Naruto) would have a lot more patience than most people & wouldn't all be "flipping out."

(Reply to this)(Thread)

	kadath 2005-07-29 03:06 pm UTC (link)
	Facts: 1. Ninjas are mammals. 2. Ninjas fight ALL the time. 3. The purpose of the ninja is to flip out and kill people. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	puipui 2005-07-29 08:17 pm UTC (link)
	I will never stop being amused by that website. Never, ever, ever. My great-great-grandchildren are going to have to listen to me muttering incoherently about ninjas flipping out and killing people as they watch the nursing home staff putting sedatives in my IV and spraying air freshener to get rid of the old people smell. Ninjas cut off heads ALL the time! Hee! (Reply to this)(Parent)

	toasterkitten 2005-07-29 04:32 pm UTC (link)
	oh man. faux-ninjas. this is marathon! you should really submit it to LJ Drama! (Reply to this)

	soleta 2005-07-29 04:33 pm UTC (link)
	I haven't read the wank, but you are my hero for that writeup. kowtows (Reply to this)

	naeelah 2005-07-29 06:46 pm UTC (link)
	Bwaha! I just came across that wank a minute ago, and promptly headed over here to make sure someone had posted it. I can't believe (well, actually, i can) that anyone would seriously debate the validity of a certain person's ninjaness for that many freaking comments. If koed doesn't make LJ drama, then I don't know who can. (Reply to this)

	notjo 2005-07-29 07:59 pm UTC (link)
	But... but... the plural of ninja is ninja! It's like sheep! One sheep, two sheep. One ninja, two ninja. Aaaa! (And this is the part where my ex would always look up and go "Ninjas are like sheep? How do they get the black outfits on over all that wool?") Okay, seriously... Your writeup kicks ass and takes names. grin (Reply to this)(Thread)

	puipui 2005-07-29 08:21 pm UTC (link)
	Whenever I can't get to sleep, I always count ninja. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	artimusdin 2005-07-29 08:48 pm UTC (link)
	But.. how do you see the ninja to count them? They're ninja after all! (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	pokecheck 2005-07-29 11:10 pm UTC (link)
	And do you count the kage bunshin? Or do those go in a ninja footnote or something? (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	artimusdin 2005-07-30 03:48 am UTC (link)
	That's a good question. I mean, technically they're the same person, only... not. o.O; (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	pokecheck 2005-07-30 05:25 am UTC (link)
	Maybe it would have to be like "Ninja 37a, Ninja 37b, Ninja 37c, Ninja 38a..." But it's all over if we have to bust out the roman numerals. (Actually, filling my brain with a whole bunch of Kakashis would probably keep me wide awake for a long, long time.) (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	artimusdin 2005-07-30 04:42 pm UTC (link)
	Yes, that would work. Up to 26 bunshin that is. Actually, the only ninja you would have to worry about would be someone like Naruto since everyone else seems to have too small of a chakra pool to create too many? scratches head (@.@ brain breaks Oh god, I so totally agree. Guh.) (Reply to this)(Parent)

	puipui 2005-07-30 02:45 am UTC (link)
	Ah, but that's what makes it so interesting. You only get to count the ones you can see, while knowing all the while that more may be lurking in the shadows waiting to kill you in silence the second you close your eyes. You know, now that I think of it, that may explain why I haven't been getting much rest lately. Hmm... (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	artimusdin 2005-07-30 02:55 am UTC (link)
	laughs Yeah, that just might have something to do with your sleeping problem. Maybe it's best to just stick with counting sheep? Or maybe cows? That'd be amusing. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	panthea 2005-07-30 11:30 pm UTC (link)
	Red ninja, blue ninja? It'd be awfully hard for them to sneak up on anyone in the dark.... (Reply to this)(Parent)

	misachan 2005-07-29 08:00 pm UTC (link)
	And here I'd thought the first rule of being a ninja was that you didn't tell anyone you were a ninja. Sort of like Fight Club, but with shurikens. (Reply to this)(Thread)

	telophase 2005-07-29 09:12 pm UTC (link)
	Unless everyone knows that real ninja don't tell anyone they're ninja, in which telling everyone you're a ninja is the best disguise. And then posing as a wanky internet ninja would be, like, extra disguise because nobody could possibly believe you. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	omnicrom 2005-07-30 02:04 pm UTC (link)
	That makes sense actually... Who expects the ninja to be some guy wearing a shirt that says "I'm a ninja!" (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	jat_sapphire 2005-07-30 04:31 pm UTC (link)
	There's some sort of story in this. goes away to think it over (Reply to this)(Parent)

	bubba_ray 2005-07-29 09:26 pm UTC (link)
	I think this is the perfect time to admit that on my list of archivements I have in life is to train jiujitsu or another grappling form and choke out a ninja... everyone should aspire to that. (Reply to this)(Thread)

	bubba_ray 2005-07-29 09:27 pm UTC (link)
	Archivements I want to reach one day that is. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	adora_spintriae 2005-07-30 02:37 am UTC (link)
	12th circle purple lesbian ninja, with blowjob powers of information retrieval and torture. Where can I get me one of those? 12th Circle Purple Lesbian Ninjas R Us? (Reply to this)(Thread)

	blackjackrocket 2005-07-30 04:12 am UTC (link)
	Sounds like Janine from Pokémon. Well...she's a ninja and she wears purple, but you never know. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	omnicrom 2005-07-30 02:06 pm UTC (link)
	There are so many tangents I could go off onto just from that one comment. So many... And amazingly some of them are work safe and/or brain safe! (Reply to this)(Parent)

	flightstothesea 2005-08-01 11:11 am UTC (link)
	Funniest comments ever. (Here, not in the wank.) (Reply to this)