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Windex Junkie ([info]windex_junkie) wrote in [info]otf_wank,
@ 2005-08-15 16:56:00


Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Current mood:WTF MATE

The Anus Is Self-Lubricating
Because somebody needs to share the joy pain with the JF world, god damnit.

In the LJ community Little Details, someone requests information on an unpleasant topic: rape and pedophilia. The answers are fairly sane and informative (child rape will fuck your character up!), until klavierbarrette adds her two self-contradictory cents:

The anus is self lubricating so sure it's possible to have anal sex without lube. But it will hurt. A lot. Especially for a little boy. He will probably have a lot of bleeding and some tearing, probably some bruising around that area. If the rapist is not careful he could even tear the boy enough for him to sustain enough injuries there for it to be very serious for the boy, he could slowly bleed out.

To furikku's well-reasoned response (Since when?!), klavierbarrette responds with: Is it not? Perhaps I have a special anus.

kerli:
Anal leakage is a serious issue.

You should go to a doctor.

Or maybe high school health class.


e_a_s:
If the rapist is not careful

I hear rapists are generally nice people, who actually care about the welfare of their victims, er friends.


Silvestris also makes claims of spontaneous anal lubrication.

The queers are still not ready to give up their lube...

pussinboots:
The anus is not self-lubricating at all. Not even a tiny bit.

"Special" highlight: pussinboots' alteration of Klavier's icon. (This of course raises the specter of COPYRIGHT.)

Small, but tasty soul-killing. Keep an eye out for the nose-sex thread.




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(Post a new comment)


[info]shakeandbake
2005-08-15 11:21 pm UTC (link)
To furikku's well-reasoned response (Since when?!), klavierbarrette responds with: Is it not? Perhaps I have a special anus.

Oh Jesus. I haven't even read the rest. I'm not sure I can. I'm laughing too hard.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]windex_junkie, 2005-08-16 02:26 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]annabelle_lee, 2005-08-16 06:41 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mistressrenet, 2005-08-16 01:13 pm UTC

[info]kittikattie
2005-08-15 11:23 pm UTC (link)
And maybe all the Gundam Wing x Naruto slash you write can have magical asses filled with K-Y Jelly

Roffle my waffles.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]windex_junkie, 2005-08-16 02:28 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-08-16 03:54 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]kittikattie, 2005-08-16 04:02 am UTC

[info]scarah2
2005-08-15 11:24 pm UTC (link)
Oh, the icon was good.

(Reply to this)


[info]wanktastic
2005-08-15 11:28 pm UTC (link)
Perhaps I have a special anus.

That needs to be iconized somehow.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]shakeandbake, 2005-08-15 11:34 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]steelneko, 2005-08-16 06:00 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]shakeandbake, 2005-08-16 06:46 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mastervex, 2005-08-16 09:36 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]marlo, 2005-08-16 07:00 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]mistressrenet, 2005-08-16 01:15 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]marlo, 2005-08-16 07:01 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]mistressrenet, 2005-08-17 08:33 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]big_bad_wolf, 2005-08-16 07:26 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]feenix, 2005-08-16 09:13 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mastervex, 2005-08-16 09:35 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]windex_junkie, 2005-08-16 02:31 am UTC
(no subject) - tourette, 2005-08-16 09:55 am UTC

[info]mooncalf
2005-08-16 12:17 am UTC (link)
... oh, someone eats too much Olestra, doesn't she...

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]somnambulicious, 2005-08-16 02:13 am UTC

[info]sashenka
2005-08-16 12:22 am UTC (link)
Maybe she is thinking of the wrong hole? The anus is like this (_*_) not like this: (_()_) unless like that other person you are having lots of unlubed anal sex in which case it might be hard to tell the difference now.

I just died laughing.

(Wait, and what kind of stupid does it take to think the anus is self-lubricating?!! Hi, I took basic biology in 10th grade. If yor anus is self-lubricating, you might want to go to a doctor right now, okay? Because that's just not right.)

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Never underestimate the potential stupidity of the human race. - [info]windex_junkie, 2005-08-16 02:36 am UTC
Re: Never underestimate the potential stupidity of the human race. - [info]sashenka, 2005-08-16 03:27 am UTC
programmed wank death - [info]goblin, 2005-08-16 03:39 am UTC
Re: programmed wank death - [info]sashenka, 2005-08-16 03:44 am UTC
Re: programmed wank death - [info]kookaburra, 2005-08-16 07:35 am UTC
Re: programmed wank death - [info]sashenka, 2005-08-16 07:48 am UTC

[info]pepperlandgirl4
2005-08-16 12:26 am UTC (link)
I like the OP explaining that he asked because his "google-fu is weak today."

I can just imagine typing Anal Sex AND Pedophile AND Little Boys into Google...though he'd probably get the answers he needed one way or the other.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - ataniell93, 2005-08-16 03:38 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mistressrenet, 2005-08-16 01:17 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]telophase, 2005-08-16 02:55 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]mistressrenet, 2005-08-16 02:58 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-08-16 05:21 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]telophase, 2005-08-16 05:26 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]ladybirdsleeps, 2005-08-16 06:53 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]telophase, 2005-08-17 02:57 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]akairis, 2005-08-17 12:03 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]ecchaniz0r, 2005-08-17 03:47 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]mistressrenet, 2005-08-17 04:15 pm UTC

[info]marlo
2005-08-16 12:29 am UTC (link)
This way your fecal matter comes out in loaves instead of Orange Julius

LMFAO!

our feather boas and sparkly fingernails give us +8 Sarcasm Attack

::continues laughing::

I want a [info]pussinboots of my very own.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]sluggirl, 2005-08-16 05:32 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-08-16 06:27 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]annabelle_lee, 2005-08-16 06:55 am UTC

[info]sadisticferret
2005-08-16 01:12 am UTC (link)
Great. Now I'm thinking about ways the anus could be self-lubricating, and the only thing I'm coming up with seems like it would be extremely unpleasant, uncomfortable, unsexy, and all of those other "un-" words.

Must not think of tubgirl. Must not think of tubgirl. Must not think ofOHGODITBURNS.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]hangingfire, 2005-08-16 02:31 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]the_wanlorn, 2005-08-16 04:05 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]hangingfire, 2005-08-16 04:10 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]the_wanlorn, 2005-08-16 04:16 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]hangingfire, 2005-08-16 04:29 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]the_wanlorn, 2005-08-16 04:34 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]hangingfire, 2005-08-16 04:45 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]the_wanlorn, 2005-08-16 04:51 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]hangingfire, 2005-08-16 05:07 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]april_hurst, 2005-08-17 12:27 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mael, 2005-08-18 08:56 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]hangingfire, 2005-08-18 09:17 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]sadisticferret, 2005-08-16 04:06 am UTC

[info]isntitironic
2005-08-16 01:26 am UTC (link)
Perhaps I have a special anus.

I agree. A very special asshole, this one.

Oh, come on, like she was't begging for that.

(Reply to this)

forgot spell check the first time...
[info]toasterkitten
2005-08-16 01:53 am UTC (link)
all that i can think of now is all the japanese anus videos that jameth has posted... eel girl, tub girl, funnel girl... all good, retching times!

this is a hilarious wank. if only it was longer... A+++ work!

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Re: forgot spell check the first time... - [info]the_wanlorn, 2005-08-16 03:48 am UTC
Re: forgot spell check the first time... - [info]somnambulicious, 2005-08-16 04:53 am UTC
Re: forgot spell check the first time... - [info]the_wanlorn, 2005-08-16 04:58 am UTC
Re: forgot spell check the first time... - [info]windex_junkie, 2005-08-16 05:00 am UTC
Re: forgot spell check the first time... - [info]the_wanlorn, 2005-08-16 05:04 am UTC
Re: forgot spell check the first time... - [info]windex_junkie, 2005-08-16 05:10 am UTC
Re: forgot spell check the first time... - [info]hangingfire, 2005-08-16 05:10 am UTC
Re: forgot spell check the first time... - [info]somnambulicious, 2005-08-16 05:27 am UTC
Re: forgot spell check the first time... - [info]the_wanlorn, 2005-08-16 05:31 am UTC
Re: forgot spell check the first time... - [info]windex_junkie, 2005-08-16 06:43 am UTC
Re: forgot spell check the first time... - [info]the_wanlorn, 2005-08-16 05:09 pm UTC
Re: forgot spell check the first time... - [info]april_hurst, 2005-08-17 12:34 am UTC
Re: forgot spell check the first time... - [info]platedlizard, 2005-08-20 07:48 am UTC
Re: forgot spell check the first time... - [info]iczer6, 2005-08-16 06:41 am UTC
Re: forgot spell check the first time... - [info]ueuecoyotl, 2005-08-16 03:47 pm UTC
Re: forgot spell check the first time... - [info]iczer6, 2005-08-16 08:36 pm UTC
Re: forgot spell check the first time... - [info]toasterkitten, 2005-08-16 04:13 pm UTC

[info]issendai
2005-08-16 02:03 am UTC (link)
You said the anus self-lubricates. It does NOT. EXUDE. ANY. MOISTURE. AT. ALL. No wait, let me do this in single syllables. IT. IS. NOT. MOIST. Can you understand that?

Remember, kids, if it's not self-lubricating, it's as dry as a bone!

This message was brought to you by the Society for the Elimination of Middle Ground and the Constipated Wankers of America.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]windex_junkie, 2005-08-16 07:14 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]issendai, 2005-08-16 03:40 pm UTC

[info]gal_montag
2005-08-16 02:17 am UTC (link)
WTF are they talking about!? Of *course* the nose is self lubricating, especially when I have a sinus infection.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-08-16 04:16 am UTC

[info]the_wanlorn
2005-08-16 03:47 am UTC (link)
Damn. I've read the thread three times and it keeps cracking my shit up.

Funniest. Wank. Ever.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]april_hurst, 2005-08-17 12:30 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]the_wanlorn, 2005-08-17 12:43 am UTC

[info]ladybirdsleeps
2005-08-16 04:20 am UTC (link)
I'm glad I slept through this. I wouldn't have known whether to put a stop to it or keep laughing.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]windex_junkie, 2005-08-16 07:15 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ladybirdsleeps, 2005-08-16 07:36 am UTC

[info]chaimonkey
2005-08-16 04:46 am UTC (link)
Yep, your anus is definitely riding the short bus...

Whee!

(Reply to this)


[info]sarajayechan
2005-08-16 05:48 am UTC (link)
I'm laughing and wincing all at the same time here, people. Never before have I seen such detailed discussion in a wank about ass sex. XD

(Reply to this)

(Deleted post)
(no subject) - [info]quinctia, 2005-08-16 06:57 am UTC

(Deleted post)
(no subject) - [info]quinctia, 2005-08-16 07:02 pm UTC

[info]amxjm
2005-08-16 06:39 am UTC (link)
Nevermind the wank, I've got two more comms to follow. Thanks, f_w!

(Reply to this)


[info]danaoshee
2005-08-16 08:31 am UTC (link)
I'm putting *way* too much thought into this, but...perhaps the people claiming no need for additional lube are only engaging in unprotected sex, and are, uh, mistaking what anatomy is providing tiny amounts of lubrication (or just have men that have a whole lot of pre-come.)
This doesn't really improve the situation very much, though. And...well...reading back through, that doesn't actually appear to be what's going on, at least in silvestris' case. Hrm. Back to just being disturbed.

(Reply to this)


[info]lindentreeisle
2005-08-16 08:34 am UTC (link)
It's not as self-lubricating as a vagina, but still enough that it won't take a lot of extra preparation to slide something in there without causing extreme pain or harm. (at least in an adult - with a child it'd be a very different matter due to sheer size differences, I gather)

I'm glad this person doesn't have a penis...I think we're all better off.

(Reply to this)


[info]msmanna
2005-08-16 11:24 am UTC (link)
{shrug}

I went to a 'gay sex for slash writers' panel at a con where the guy hosting it did indeed say that if you have regular enough anal sex, then the mucosal membranes start producing more mucous and you can end up having perfectly comfortable anal sex without extra lube. For some people. But not for other people.

I think it's just one of those topics where the *real* point is that people are very different and any one person's experience can't be extrapolated to cover every other person in the world ever.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-08-20 07:00 am UTC

[info]sitt_isis
2005-08-17 12:38 am UTC (link)
Wow, nose sex & manginas.

My day is complete.

(Reply to this)


[info]crickets
2005-08-17 12:40 am UTC (link)
Lube: a topic that never fails to bring the wank and a whole world of TMI. Every. Time. *snerk*

(Reply to this)


[info]slackerbitch
2005-08-17 02:04 am UTC (link)
Fuck copyright. I'm tempted to make this my new default pic. Pussinboots is my hero.

(Reply to this)



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