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sarahkjrsten ([info]sarahkjrsten) wrote in [info]otf_wank,
@ 2005-09-20 09:44:00
Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Oh No They Didn't Wank
At Oh no they didn't!, kanders insists that Hedi Klum could not possibly have had a vaginal birth

People disagree.

Then, iruleuruniverse, a (sockpuppet) friend of kanders shows up and declares KANDERS, for your information, is writing her thesis at the moment and just got accepeted to 4 schools for her Phd. You on the other hand? Still working through that trash bin outside of McDonald's?

*looks up* That's almost as good as intraweb lawyers in my book

(Post a new comment)


[info]luthe
2005-09-20 03:50 pm UTC (link)
Didn't every occur to people that Heidi could just be doped off her ass?

Also, I hope the sockpuppet iruletheuniverse realizes that *no one* cares about Kanders and her supposed Ph.D. It has no bearing on the wank.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]spleen
2005-09-20 05:16 pm UTC (link)
It has no bearing on the wank.

Yeah. *checks kanders's interests* Except perhaps where she's doing the PhD on cultural anthropology or something, and decided to make herself part of the "delsional fucknut" control group.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]sabinelagrande
2005-09-20 08:02 pm UTC (link)
Sweet, now I have a thesis topic!

(Reply to this)(Parent)

TMI here
[info]cat_mcdougall
2005-09-20 04:06 pm UTC (link)
Mother of four.

Two were vaginal deliveries. Two were c-section (twins).

The vaginal deliveries? Up and walking the same day, home and moving slowly, but up and walking around after #1.

I moved house three days after #2. Granted I didn't do much other than sit and point and say "No, that goes there. No. THERE!" But I was fully capable of getting up and sitting for several hours.

After the c-section? Forget it. It took me 2 weeks before I felt like walking upright.

Has anyone thought that she's spent the last week or whatever it is, at home, lying down and letting her maid/housekeeper/cook/nanny take care of things so that she could go? Sorta like saving up energy?

She wasn't getting up to dance a jig right? So, yes six days after birth, I can see her capable of sitting for several hours at an award show.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Re: TMI here
[info]somnambulicious
2005-09-20 04:51 pm UTC (link)
Oh, word. You're not even supposed to climb stairs or drive a car for two weeks after a c-section. Vaginal birth, on the other hand? My great-grandmother gave birth to her fifteenth child and was out picking cotton that afternoon. If human females require weeks of passivity after giving birth, then how on earth did we survive as a species?

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: TMI here
[info]cat_mcdougall
2005-09-20 04:55 pm UTC (link)
Exactly! Where the hell did this "You must stay in bed" Victorian Nobility attitude come from?

Unless there are true complications --with my first I had to have two blood transfusions and was told to take it easy (Like not hanging four loads of laundry outside *innocent look*)-- why the hell can't people do things like an awards thing?

Side note: DAMN! I wish I'd looked that good six days postpartum! (Of course I wish I had the time to look that good five years post partum but that's another story.)

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: TMI here
[info]somnambulicious
2005-09-20 05:11 pm UTC (link)
How is going to an awards ceremony more exhausting than staying at home with a newborn, anyway? If I was her, I'd be taking advantage of that time to nap in my seat during the ceremony.

Side note: OMG word. I want to petition my insurance company to include a personal trainer and a chef in the maternity expenses. *sighs* It's a little too late for that now, though.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: TMI here
[info]cat_mcdougall
2005-09-20 06:26 pm UTC (link)
I dunno how it's more exhausting. It might be tiresome in the "I have a problem staying awake /anywhere/ right now" thing, but not seeing the huge energy expenditure.

And yes, personal trainers, maids, chefs, and nutritionists who follow you around and count the calories for you are what's needed *nods*

Has Brittany had hers yet? Cos you know there's going to be wank there.

(ignore the other comment I accidentally pasted the wrong thing into teh box. *facepalm*)

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: TMI here
[info]nekoneko
2005-09-20 07:48 pm UTC (link)
I heard she did. And it's a boy named London. Not sure if it's correct, though, since I heard it from my roommate.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: TMI here
[info]miss_padfoot
2005-09-20 11:31 pm UTC (link)
I thought it was Preston.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: TMI here
[info]electricchick
2005-09-21 12:29 am UTC (link)
I heard it was London Preston. So you're probably both right.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: TMI here
[info]tronella
2005-09-21 12:38 pm UTC (link)
The news tells me it's "Preston Michael Spears Federline".

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: TMI here
[info]b_jellybean
2005-09-21 03:36 pm UTC (link)
In regards to your icon, doesn't the bat thing break later on in that scene? I want to know if I am giggling at the correct thing :)

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: TMI here
[info]tronella
2005-09-21 03:51 pm UTC (link)
I don't think so. Have a transcript, in fact :)

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: TMI here
[info]b_jellybean
2005-09-21 03:59 pm UTC (link)
Ooo thank you! Now I remember!

(in my defense, I think there is a sketch where they break something, though I'm not sure what *g*)

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: TMI here
[info]tronella
2005-09-21 04:00 pm UTC (link)
Yeah, I think you're right :)

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: TMI here
[info]slackerbitch
2005-09-22 02:49 am UTC (link)
My sister has two kids. Both times, she was in actual labor for maybe six hours, pushed for less than an hour and boom! kid. She was up doing things the next day like nothing had happened. And there she is in pictures, smiling with the baby, looking better than I do on a normal day, and people are going, that's the MOM? No way.

I don't know whether I should hate her or just pray I got those genes, too.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: TMI here
[info]kookaburra
2005-09-20 08:43 pm UTC (link)
Yeah- one of my friends had a midwife deliver her child, and she was up and walking in 20 minutes. (Of course, she *really* had to pee, apparently, so that might have added some incentive.)

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: TMI here
[info]phosfate
2005-09-21 04:02 pm UTC (link)
In all fairness, the cotton-picking probably gave her a much needed break away from the children.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: TMI here
(Anonymous)
2005-09-21 10:35 am UTC (link)
Wordy Mc Word to that. 6 days after giving birth, assuming it was all smooth sailing, she'd be fine to do that.

C-section or Vaginal birth ... my best friend had c-sections for both of her daughters and it took her 2 months to really get over it. I had vaginal births for all three of my kids, went home the next day (actually, for my second I went home that day) and life went on within a day or so. My babies were big too (8'. 8'5". 10'2").

Mind you, a lot of older women I know have that mentality of "ooooh, don't do this or that" - which is fine if you don't recover quickly ... but Heidi looks like she's fine.





Indis ... silly thing doesn't want me to log in.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]lurker32
2005-09-20 04:57 pm UTC (link)
Somehow, I read that as she was writing her thesis on her hand.

I need coffee.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]feloniousfeline
2005-09-20 07:55 pm UTC (link)
I'm sure her thesis would fit on her hand.

"I R SMRTR THAN U"

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]judyhazeleyes
2005-09-20 05:54 pm UTC (link)
"I've had a baby before, I know you're wrong!" (x4 or 5)

"But I'm getting my PhD and I read it on teh intarwebs!"

... I'm sorry, sockpuppet, but who needs to 'take themselves not so fuckin' serious,' as you so beautifully put it?

(Reply to this)


[info]kadath
2005-09-20 05:56 pm UTC (link)
[info]kanders, hon, the argument from authority only works if you're actually an authority in the subject under discussion.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]jeedai
2005-09-20 08:25 pm UTC (link)
djklfghlskdjghjldg icongasm

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]gloria_mundi
2005-09-20 08:30 pm UTC (link)
Kanders' icon scares me.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]dementoid
2005-09-21 11:57 am UTC (link)
It's the cover of a Fatboy Slim album.

I wonder if Kanders realises that it's supposed to be ironic.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]keri
2005-09-20 08:31 pm UTC (link)
Just one question...

Outside of caesarean and vaginal, is there any other kind of birth? Because, uhm, either I'm uninformed or kanders fails at life. Not that the two are mutually exclusive, mind you.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]cat_mcdougall
2005-09-20 08:44 pm UTC (link)
Not to my knowledge. That's it. C-section or Vaginal. It's not like you can like puke out a baby....

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]theladyfeylene
2005-09-20 09:18 pm UTC (link)
*suddenly has Silent Hill 3 flashbacks*

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]msmanna
2005-09-20 08:47 pm UTC (link)
Outside of caesarean and vaginal, is there any other kind of birth?

ASSBABIES!

Oops, no, sorry. That's just me confusing fanfic and real life again.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]kadath
2005-09-20 09:00 pm UTC (link)
My friend says that's where lawyers come from.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]somnambulicious
2005-09-20 10:40 pm UTC (link)
Yes, but is your friend writing her THESIS?

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]kadath
2005-09-21 01:24 am UTC (link)
Nah, he already wrote it.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]issendai
2005-09-20 11:14 pm UTC (link)
If you believe certain fans, there's spiritual birth, wherein you give birth to spiritual children. They then float after you and manifest themselves in dreams, so that you can talk about them whenever your ego is feeling neglected. It's kind of like Zeus giving birth to Athena, except that no one's head splits open and the result is a discorporeal anime character.

Fandom: Making the Weekly World News look like the New York Times.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]koipool
2005-09-21 12:03 am UTC (link)
ZING!

Pwn3d, crazy people.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]antigone
2005-09-21 06:50 pm UTC (link)
ICON!!!

(Reply to this)(Parent)


(Anonymous)
2005-09-21 10:58 pm UTC (link)
I want to go on spiritual maternity leave.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]issendai
2005-09-21 11:48 pm UTC (link)
Are you going to use your free time to spiritual breastfeed?

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]miss_padfoot
2005-09-20 11:32 pm UTC (link)
Mpreg!

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]somnambulicious
2005-09-21 06:36 am UTC (link)
I think they went with the Mysterious Third Option in Attack of the Clones when Padme birthed the twins.

Seriously, wtf was up with that scene?

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]ahiru
2005-09-21 01:22 pm UTC (link)
There's always the Alien burst-out-of-the-chest option.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]phosfate
2005-09-21 04:03 pm UTC (link)
Vanished half-alien fetuses.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]carlanime
2005-09-20 10:36 pm UTC (link)
The retard comment was a little silly, especially since what is happening here is just a difference of opinion. I wouldn't expect much less from kids and this kind of silliness is primarily the reason I choose to read gossip and not post.

So, she likes to read celebrity gossip, and can't spit out a simple phrase like "I wouldn't expect much more from blah, blah, blah" without arsing it up. That thesis must be a thing of beauty.

(Reply to this)


[info]omnicrom
2005-09-21 12:11 am UTC (link)
I know she broke a Jursimprudence law there with her "I'M SMRTR THN YOO" Ph.D. babble but I don't know which one because there are so many! Someone needs to come up with a better filing system than alphabetic order.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]mindset
2005-09-21 05:06 am UTC (link)
And somebody (not me) did.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


dracothelizard
2005-09-21 02:35 pm UTC (link)
"what? ummm, why not? does she belong in the kitchen, barefoot?"

Now THAT was wanky.

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[info]isobelsomething
2005-09-21 03:22 pm UTC (link)
Seriously.

I mean, she could totally wear slippers.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

  
   
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