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Rowan ([info]rowan) wrote in [info]otf_wank,
@ 2005-10-05 15:26:00
Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Conspiracy! Conspiracy!
This wank is a little old, and small, but it has a healthy side-order of WTF that beefs it up nicely. [info]queenmadeline was at it again in customers_suck on LJ, bringing us... more hurricane-wank! I walked all the way into the archives and foraged for this because I was bored out of my gourd.

Anyway. Watch as [info]queenmadeline says that Katrina only had a death toll of 80 in Louisiana! Thrill as s/h/it claims big oil has invented a weather machine to create hurricanes for their own profit!

It's tiny, and nobody gets insanely frothy in response (because yeah, hi, troll?) but the WTFuckery is alternately amusing and boggling.

I think the big oil companies might have built some sort of weather machine to generate hurricanes in the gulf coast. This doesn't seem very likely - until you consider how rich they are. Shell made around 9 billion dollars of profits last year, with that kind of money you could do anything.

Includes bonus thread in which [info]queenmadeline bonds with another user, then turns around and declares intent to suicide! Ohnoes!

(Post a new comment)


[info]grand_sealink
2005-10-05 11:02 pm UTC (link)
What. The Fuck.

You know, it's quite a charming conspiracy, especially considering that Big Oil has a lot of refineries here in the Lil Ole South. You know, the refineries they use to Make. Oil. Let's not let the facts get in the way; those refineries were just shielded with Big Oil's hurricane shields. (They did it by reversing the polarity on their regular shields.)

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]sizer
2005-10-06 11:03 am UTC (link)
It's true! Didn't you know that Grand Isle is actually the home base of the GIANT HURRICANE MACHINE? =O It explains their flourishing economy (and insistance that everyone leave the island, duh!).

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]kadath
2005-10-05 11:15 pm UTC (link)
Thrill as s/h/it claims big oil has invented a weather machine to create hurricanes for their own profit!

Big Oil? Feh. Everyone knows it's the commies</i>.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]dejla
2005-10-05 11:33 pm UTC (link)
Oh good lord. That man is so far away from reality that he ought to be living somewhere around the Orion Nebula...

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]mael, 2005-10-06 05:28 am UTC

[info]somnambulicious
2005-10-05 11:43 pm UTC (link)
No, it was the Yakuza.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]eclair, 2005-10-06 12:36 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]antigone, 2005-10-06 05:14 am UTC

[info]judyhazeleyes
2005-10-06 06:20 am UTC (link)
I saw him interviewed on CNN (oh hush, my mom watches it and I was back for a visit), and teh crazeh was oozing out of every single thing he said and did. Anyone ever seen the Martin Short big business character from SNL who chainsmokes through his interviews and always says "Did I say that? I didn't say that. It's not me, it's him, right?" That was this guy in spades.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]smo
2005-10-06 04:58 pm UTC (link)
There used to be a crazy guy in Harvard Square who'd get on his bullhorn and rant about how the government was using chemtrails to make people sick. Ever since then, the mere mention of "chemtrails" on any website has come to mean "stop reading or the batshit crazy will EAT YOUR BRAIN" to me.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]kookaburra
2005-10-05 11:16 pm UTC (link)
Shell made around 9 billion dollars of profits last year, with that kind of money you could do anything.

Except VIOLATE THE LAWS OF PHYSICS YOU IDIOT!

And... 9 billion is not really that impressive compared to some of the oil moguls my stepfather has dealings with.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]sneer
2005-10-06 02:05 am UTC (link)
It's not exactly a weather machine. Someone flies over the hurricane, drops a few million in small unmarked bills into the eye, and suggests a course for it to follow, with the promise of a few more million at the destination.

It's TROO

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]dejla
2005-10-05 11:31 pm UTC (link)
Inventing a weather machine -- wasn't that some sort of plot line on Days of Our Lives or Another World some years ago?

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]pyratejenni
2005-10-05 11:59 pm UTC (link)
The "Ice Princess" plotline on General Hospital, back in 1979-1980 or so.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]nekoneko, 2005-10-06 12:09 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]squib, 2005-10-06 09:22 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]crickets, 2005-10-07 02:31 am UTC

[info]rowan
2005-10-06 01:01 am UTC (link)
I think EVERYTHING is a plotline on a soap opera at some point.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]maev_connacht, 2005-10-06 02:47 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]lillyv, 2005-10-06 05:00 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]phosfate, 2005-10-06 01:35 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]hangingfire, 2005-10-06 05:24 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]lillyv, 2005-10-06 06:42 pm UTC

[info]moonjaguar
2005-10-05 11:45 pm UTC (link)
I definitely do not want what she's smoking.

(Reply to this)


[info]firebad
2005-10-06 12:05 am UTC (link)
I've been diagnosed with a serious disease and I'm probably going to have to commit suicide soon.

Why wait?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]bangoskank, 2005-10-06 12:20 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]cleolinda, 2005-10-07 12:52 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]notjo, 2005-10-06 06:45 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-10-06 03:26 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]notjo, 2005-10-06 05:07 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]doomsday, 2005-10-06 08:19 am UTC

[info]sorchar
2005-10-06 01:05 am UTC (link)
She's brought the crazy before. She's the one who emoed all over one of the threads pertaining to Kielle.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]sepiamagpie, 2005-10-06 01:11 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]kijikun, 2005-10-06 01:21 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sepiamagpie, 2005-10-06 01:24 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]kijikun, 2005-10-06 01:34 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sepiamagpie, 2005-10-06 01:41 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]kijikun, 2005-10-06 01:51 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sepiamagpie, 2005-10-06 02:02 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]kijikun, 2005-10-06 02:16 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]bangoskank, 2005-10-06 06:18 pm UTC
(no subject) - flightstothesea, 2005-10-06 03:38 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]wankismyfandom, 2005-10-06 01:33 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]hysteria, 2005-10-06 05:30 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]nekoama, 2005-10-06 02:19 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]notjo, 2005-10-06 06:46 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sorchar, 2005-10-06 06:55 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ladybirdsleeps, 2005-10-06 10:27 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]miss_padfoot, 2005-10-06 07:33 pm UTC

[info]krazycat
2005-10-06 01:09 am UTC (link)
Thanks for your kind words. Unfortunately, it's either suicide, or a slow painful death over the course of the next year. Regardless, my life is over. To gain anything now would only mean more loss.

WHAT?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]platedlizard, 2005-10-06 06:09 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]phosfate, 2005-10-06 01:35 pm UTC

[info]kijikun
2005-10-06 01:19 am UTC (link)
He's been watching the Avengers too much lately hasn't he?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]sepiamagpie, 2005-10-06 01:25 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]kijikun, 2005-10-06 01:31 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sepiamagpie, 2005-10-06 01:42 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]phosfate, 2005-10-06 01:37 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]sepiamagpie, 2005-10-06 04:11 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]chibikaijuu, 2005-10-06 05:55 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-10-06 10:06 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]pokecheck, 2005-10-06 06:48 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]kijikun, 2005-10-06 12:05 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]phosfate, 2005-10-06 01:38 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]kijikun, 2005-10-07 12:14 am UTC

[info]also_not_a_pipe
2005-10-06 01:56 am UTC (link)
I could friend you, but I haven't updated my personal journal since last April, and I never will again. I've been diagnosed with a serious disease and I'm probably going to have to commit suicide soon.

Oh, yes. The unfortunately neither rare enough nor fatal enough dramaqueenbosis. Pity, that. Watch out that she doesn't get any froth on you.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]judyhazeleyes, 2005-10-06 06:23 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]grand_sealink, 2005-10-06 07:42 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]judyhazeleyes, 2005-10-06 07:58 pm UTC

[info]miss_padfoot
2005-10-06 02:02 am UTC (link)
[info]queenmadeline has stopped being funny. Someone really needs to disconnect hir internet.

(Reply to this)


[info]elektra3
2005-10-06 03:57 am UTC (link)
I think the big oil companies might have built some sort of weather machine to generate hurricanes in the gulf coast. This doesn't seem very likely - until you consider how rich they are. Shell made around 9 billion dollars of profits last year, with that kind of money you could do anything.

Say what in the who now?

(Reply to this)


[info]_bellisima
2005-10-06 04:05 am UTC (link)
it's a shame she's so batshit, because she has such a pretty icon.

(Reply to this)


[info]khym_chanur
2005-10-06 07:14 am UTC (link)
Shell made around 9 billion dollars of profits last year, with that kind of money you could do anything.

So they could have made a time machine?

*gasp*

Yes, that must be it! The oil companies have created a time machine and used it to muck with history, so every bad thing that ever happened is their fault!!! The fall of Rome? The oil companies' fault. The Black Plauge? Also their fault. The rise of the boy bands? Their fault!!!!

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]grand_sealink, 2005-10-06 07:44 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]judyhazeleyes, 2005-10-06 08:00 pm UTC

[info]wankprophet
2005-10-06 08:01 am UTC (link)
I could friend you, but I haven't updated my personal journal since last April, and I never will again. I've been diagnosed with a serious disease and I'm probably going to have to commit suicide soon.

What she meant to say was that she'd tried being diagnosed with a serious disease, but no-one cared, so now she has to try suicide instead. If that doesn't work, she'll pull out the big guns by becoming a vocal H/G shipper. She won't be ignored.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]mrbimble, 2005-10-07 01:37 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]wankprophet, 2005-10-07 02:33 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]platedlizard, 2005-10-07 08:06 am UTC

[info]shakeandbake
2005-10-06 03:55 pm UTC (link)
If I'm reincarnated after I die, I want you to be my mom.

Lucky, lucky, lucky [info]namegirl.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]mathilde, 2005-10-06 09:09 pm UTC

[info]mathilde
2005-10-06 09:09 pm UTC (link)
Less than a year left of life (even if he doesn't off himself) and the best thing he can think to do with it is trolling livejournal? Dude. Start masturbating, or something.

(Reply to this)

  
   
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