Short Wank: Asian Toddlers & Security Guards Hate Us
Hello, friends! I'm new and lurking for a while, if you would be gentle I would be a happy alligator-snapping turtle :)

If you know about Achewood's Pat Reynolds I recommend you read the following entries imagining him writing it: tigerwolf reports on cf_hardcore that an Asian baby (emphasis: Asian) blocked his way to the movies, whereupon he criticizes the mother's childcaring skills, which offends both parents resulting in the father assaulting him. He does the right thing in reporting to security (assaulting people who points out you may want to pay attention to your child's behaviour is not exactly what logical people would do, anyway), where the supervisor made a personal opinion that he shouldn't judge people's parenting talents since he doesn't have kids.

This leads to him getting legal advice to... not charge the assailant, but to fire the security supervisor, then writing an angry letter threatening to sue! Couldn't he just readjust his footing and say "whoops, nearly tripped over you" without condemning the parents in the first place, which won't get him into all this excitement?

ilthuain decides to have some fun and chats up Tigerwolf on AIM. Keep in mind every single line Tigerwolf brags about himself, because you won't be seeing them in the cf_hardcore recap special!

Short but worth the read if only for the ommission of the I HAVE AN IQ OF TWO HUNDRED in the chatlog recap, and tigerwolf not daring to answer to the guy pointing out "the self-cleaning anus is from an old ljdrama thing". (probably because he was the one who said that)

EDIT: Mistakenly wrote "assault" as "threat" and "supervisor" as "guard" so many tears
EDIT2: Reworded a few lines to reduce bias.

EDIT3: Hello, I am Tigerwolf. I have supposedly a 200ish IQ, know kung-fu, can speak in Mandarin, Cantonese, Korean, japanese, Swahili and Dwarven Runes, and want Aslan's arse. This does not mean, however, that I am above rewriting my detractors' lines with lots of misspellings and "!!11eleventyone" cliches, to make myself appear a bigger man. PS: Black people are scum.

EDIT4: I am not above sending my foolish minions to spread my gospel, either.

EDIT5: Tigerwolf's whining may have cost the supervisor his job & livelihood! And somehow the "duh" got a police record too. "Duh". Uhrm. But don't worry, his arm healed fine within a few days. (It never hurt in the first place, it was just a bit of an ugly looking mess where the scratches were.) DON'T WORRY GUYS I AM (STILL) A HERO AND NOT MAKING THIS UP REALLY I AM NOT