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Miranda Fox (mirandafox) wrote in [info]otf_wank,
@ 2006-01-19 19:00:00
Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Current mood:Mystified
Current music:Mary - Scissor Sisters.

You. Are. Not. A. Winner.
Thank you ever so much to a kindly mouse on [info]wank_report.

So, over in the Debate comm on LJ, absolutcalm posts a rather contrary to his name (and extremely wanky) rant about his thoughts on statutory rape and why it should be perfectly okay for 34 year old men to have sex with 15 years olds.

It culminates in this brilliant summing up: Why, then, can you not suck my cock?


Not surprisingly, it's wank ahoy from the first comment onwards.

Other highlights of the wank include: absolutcalm revealing his penis size (TMI much?), Canada's attitude to swinging and group sex (I'm gonna have that song from the South Park film playing in my head all evening now) and aufdeutschebag (to be fair, not being overly wanky here.)


(Post a new comment)


[info]smo
2006-01-19 08:27 pm UTC (link)
A huge pair of tits, a nice ass, a grade school education and a working womb should be enough to prove a woman's maturity.

...

If I had to pick one thing (yes, "just one") that disturbed me the most about this statement, it would be the part about her only needing a grade school education.

In conclusion, someone please tell me this asshole is a troll. PLEASE.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


mirandafox
2006-01-19 08:32 pm UTC (link)
I'm looking at his journal, and there's no way he can be for real. I mean, his personal posts have good spelling for one thing.

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[info]smo
2006-01-19 08:33 pm UTC (link)
I really hope you're right.

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[info]jadelennox
2006-01-19 08:40 pm UTC (link)
This thread makes it pretty clear he's trolling, IMHO.

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[info]vigilanterodent
2006-01-19 08:38 pm UTC (link)
I think he's a troll, yeah. Though unhappily, people really do exist who think that way.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


mirandafox
2006-01-19 08:43 pm UTC (link)
Word. Which is why I wasn't sure about him.

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[info]phosfate
2006-01-19 08:37 pm UTC (link)
Why, then, can you not suck my cock?

Good taste, discrimination, and self-esteem.

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[info]ayezur
2006-01-19 09:53 pm UTC (link)
A nice shiny internet, just for you!

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[info]deathmouse
2006-01-20 04:05 am UTC (link)
You forgot "a wish to avoid STDs".

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]doroc_sabah
2006-01-20 02:19 pm UTC (link)
I don't think this man's ever had the opportunity.

Unless a public toilet makes itself available to him, but they probably have self-esteem enough not to as well.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]doomsday
2006-01-19 08:54 pm UTC (link)
I love his continuous assertion that breast size is directly proportional to maturity. I know some chicks with phenomenally large knockers who should have been held back in the third grade indefinitely.

Troll! Troll in the cafeteria dungeon!

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]panthea
2006-01-20 08:04 am UTC (link)
Dude, one of my friends had phenomenally large knockers IN THIRD GRADE. For serious, we'd go to my dad's work picnics and all the men there would be staring at this nine-year-old in her teeny bikini. I didn't even notice at the time, but in retrospect... eurgh.

In short: breast size maturity whaaa?

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]gal_montag
2006-01-19 09:33 pm UTC (link)
Can't he get someone his own age?

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[info]smo
2006-01-19 10:15 pm UTC (link)
Nah, they've all wised up.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]rachelmap
2006-01-20 02:58 am UTC (link)
That's it in a nutshell.

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[info]snacky
2006-01-19 09:33 pm UTC (link)
Why, then, can you not suck my cock?

I think that should be the mandatory ending for every single rant posted on the internet from now on:

JKR is an idiot for not writing H/Hr! Why, then, can you not suck my cock?

I am so goddamn sick and tired of all these stupid Browncoats and their whiny "go see Serenity" complaints! Why, then, can you not suck my cock?

SG:A is NOT a cheesy show, it's a masterpiece of science fiction tv programming! Why, then, can you not suck my cock?

BSG was much better the first time around with the robot dog! Why, then, can you not suck my cock?

A perfect summation!

(Reply to this)(Thread)


rowleyorama
2006-01-19 10:27 pm UTC (link)
Perfect it!


You have lost possession of your Yiddish cup! Why, the, can you not suck my cock? I look forward to your reply

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]rowan
2006-01-19 11:13 pm UTC (link)
*dead*

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[info]moonpigeon
2006-01-20 07:40 am UTC (link)
Hahahaha.

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[info]miss_padfoot
2006-01-20 10:00 am UTC (link)
Loll!

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[info]lillyv
2006-01-19 10:29 pm UTC (link)
Fandom Wank is full of a bunch of bitches who just like to ruin the internet for everyone else! Why, then, can you not suck my cock?

Dear God, you're right!

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]the_wanlorn
2006-01-19 10:57 pm UTC (link)
That robot dog gave me nightmares! Why, then, can you not suck my cock? I look forward to your reply.

Most excellent!

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]selene_avis
2006-01-22 03:16 am UTC (link)
Can somebody icon this, or am I going to have to do it?

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]maev_connacht
2006-01-19 09:45 pm UTC (link)
Oh, and we even get bonus [info]aufdeutschbag action.

Whee.

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[info]annabelle_lee
2006-01-19 09:46 pm UTC (link)
Why, then, can you not suck my cock?

Because evolution blessed me with self-preservation skills against contagious stupidity.

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[info]radiotrash
2006-01-19 10:36 pm UTC (link)
"The days before they gain all that weight and have kids and go to college and become feminists."

I don't even think I need to comment on this.

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redwarrior
2006-01-19 10:42 pm UTC (link)
but if he were gay, I'd have to give him the ole Matthew Shepard treatment out of principle.

My brain...it just exploded!

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[info]nicolae
2006-01-19 11:08 pm UTC (link)
Definitely a troll. But still, hilarious.

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[info]aerobot
2006-01-20 03:33 am UTC (link)
A huge pair of tits, a nice ass, a grade school education and a working womb should be enough to prove a woman's maturity-- why, then, should it be a crime?

Because you're a fucking shithead who should never be allowed near another human being, much less a young girl that you only see as a sexual object for you to play with.

Men like you should choke on their dicks and die.

*pant pant*

I'm done.

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[info]khym_chanur
2006-01-20 04:27 am UTC (link)
Men like you should choke on their dicks and die.

Or try to hook up with a girl with missile-tits. *stares at icon*

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]lovelyzelda
2006-01-20 06:55 am UTC (link)
Men like you should choke on their dicks and die.

I know plenty of people who would love to be that flexible, even if it did lead to their untimely death.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

He tries so hard, and sounds so "augh". In the end, he's really just a fapper.
[info]mcity
2006-01-20 04:05 am UTC (link)
This certainly sounds familiar.

And lastly, what if I want to fuck a 16 year old with a body of a 25 year old? A huge pair of tits, a nice ass, a grade school education and a working womb should be enough to prove a woman's maturity-- why, then, should it be a crime?

...
0_o
It isn't like molestation, taking a pre-sexual child without the appropriate hormones, physical maturity or even basic shape to be deemed sexually suitable.
I think he's missing the entire point of statutory rape laws.

Just maybe.

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[info]lovelyzelda
2006-01-20 06:59 am UTC (link)
it is conscentual sex.

But what if you've never sonsumated the relationship?

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[info]fourth_impact
2006-01-20 08:07 am UTC (link)
Why, then, can you not suck my cock?

Now I wonder how the venom cock would tie into this?

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[info]doroc_sabah
2006-01-20 02:16 pm UTC (link)
Why, then, can you not suck my cock?

Hand: *in way*

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ick
[info]darkeyes
2006-01-20 05:23 pm UTC (link)
Troll or not, that entire thread made me feel dirty. *shudders*

(Reply to this)

  
   
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