SWM seeking kittens (non-mummified please)
Winnipeg is a cold, cold place in the wintertime. Thermostats would be cranked up pretty high right about now. All around the city, families probably gather around their heating vents and drink hot coco and sing songs or whatever, but in one apartment, for two kittens, things are not so happy.

Everybody, meet midnightsroses. He recently bought some kittens and they crawled into an open vent in his apartment, the scamps! With help from old man gravity, they have probably made their way through the bowls of his apartment building to the hellish crematoria of The Dread Furnace, since he can't here them moving around anymore. So he poses this query: Can someone fix me up with some new kittens? I promise not to kill these ones.

Needless to say, everyone with a brain comments saying "ZOMG U KILLED THOSE KITTENS!!!"

He also invokes compares the plight of the kittens to Jews in Nazi Germany. Oh, Anne Frank, your kooky antics continue to be a source of Internet hilarity for, like, months to come.

Did I mention that he wears a cape? In public? 'Cause he totally does.
I rest my case.