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Eppy ([info]lizzypaul) wrote in [info]otf_wank,
@ 2006-04-08 15:14:00
Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Current mood:Caffeinated
Current music:"Dance, Dance" -- Fall Out Boy

christianitysex: like fanficrants, in a way
I hesitate to report christianitysex wankery, as it's generally harder to find a post that doesn't generate pages and pages of splooge. However, this post is too much fun to keep to myself. Also, it's one of the few where I'm not fapping away with the rest.

It all starts when [info]swisscelt, christianitysex's semi-troll, makes a heated post, closing with: Let me make this patently clear: I think those who are engaged on the Bibliolatrists' side in the so-called "War on Christianity" are demons. I think-- nay, I know-- that the handful from this viewpoint who post their vile filth on this community every week are absolutely wicked, and I believe firmly that spiritual people of every creed, including Christians, should oppose them.

People are not pleased. Also, random gay racism wank.

340 comments and going strong.


(Post a new comment)


[info]mcity
2006-04-08 09:36 pm UTC (link)
"Bibliolatrists"?

Yay, making up words!

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[info]visp
2006-04-08 09:42 pm UTC (link)
I prefer "Godomite" myself.

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[info]emiweebee
2006-04-09 03:34 am UTC (link)
Snicker.

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[info]tofuknight
2006-04-09 12:25 am UTC (link)
I so thought it had something to do with reading books on the toliet...

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[info]fevered_ego
2006-04-09 09:07 am UTC (link)
No, bibliolatry is actually a real word. It's in the dictionary.

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[info]rotten_fish
2006-04-08 10:35 pm UTC (link)
You know what would be great? If God started smiting again. That would be wonderful. There would never be religion wank or debate again!

Christian 1: Well, I think blah blah blah...
Christian 2: No, I disagree, I think blah blah blah...
The Big Man Himself: NO, YOU'RE BOTH WRONG. SMITE!
Christians: ::gurgle:: ::go to Hell::
God: HA HA, I LOVE ME. OH, AND I LOVE ALL MY CREATION, TOO. REALLY.
Jesus: Daaaaad... you said you wouuuuuldn't...
God: BE SILENT OR I'LL LET THEM KILL YOU AGAIN.
Jesus: :(

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[info]cat_mcdougall
2006-04-08 11:11 pm UTC (link)
*cackles at that like only the daughter of a preacher can*

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[info]female_fanboy
2006-04-09 01:13 am UTC (link)
Yeah, God's hasn't been any fun ever since 4 A.D. when they put him on Bipolar medication

Personally, I hope he starts developing a taste of embarrassingly ironic punishments. You know, the smite mastery of Yahweh with Jesus' mighty power of hypocrite detecting. Together, along with their comedy-relief sidekick the Holy Spirit, they form the DIVINE JUSTICE DUDES!

Now here's the part where I get sent to Hell...again.

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jenova
2006-04-09 01:24 am UTC (link)
*snickers* Wow, a world in which a theology degree might be useful. Win.

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[info]ianthefira
2006-04-09 01:29 am UTC (link)
Icon. Seriously.

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[info]mcity
2006-04-09 03:36 am UTC (link)
You know what would be great? If God started smiting again.

Thus?

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[info]freezer
2006-04-09 06:31 pm UTC (link)
::snicker::

I really *do* need to get around to reading Bigger Than Cheese's full archive.

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[info]mcity
2006-04-09 07:35 pm UTC (link)
The guy who makes that strip posted some of his Batman v. Superman strips on the scans_daily LJ comm. I'm not sure how, but I ended up in a headdesking fight with a Batman fanboy who just kept claiming that "anything can happen"*, even when I pointed out that Superman can fly and run at several times the speed of light, has been punched through the planet without injury, and once broke a small moon in half because he was pissed, just by flying through it.

*Ironically, I think the post that started that little sortie was me complaining that fanboys keep using "anything can happen!" as a cop-out.

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[info]freezer
2006-04-09 08:01 pm UTC (link)
My next paycheck says that said fanboy was either using

1) The showdown at the end of "The Dark Knight Returns". Funny how the Batgroupies tend to conveniently forget that Batman had apparently planned that fight around a Superman that was fighting at half-speed, at best (Having just eaten the payload of a nuclear missle designed to snuff an entire country.)

and/or

2) the Justice League arc where Batman's contingency plans for the JL members going rouge were found. (That argument makes a HUGE assumption that said plans would actually work as planned).

Granted... I used to be similar WRT Dr. Doom. Until I realized that Doom's oft brilliant plans almost always failed because he either overestimated himself (his 123097 plots to steal The Beyonder's power) or underestimated his opponents (His destruction of the Baxter Building).

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[info]mcity
2006-04-09 08:36 pm UTC (link)
1) And it's not canon. It's basically an imaginary tale. And he had been hit by several missles just before the fight. And possibly a kryptonite arrow. And Batman was wearing what basically amounted to anti-Superman armour.
2) Well, he nearly killed Plastic Man, super was paralyzed by Red K, etc.

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[info]pariforma
2006-04-09 12:08 am UTC (link)
For a Gnostic, ol' Swisscelt is awfully short on self-awareness. I can't tell you how many times I've seen him make some blatantly provocative theological statement and then go "What'd I do?" when everybody jumps on him 'cos ZOMG he called them heretics or something.

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jenova
2006-04-09 01:25 am UTC (link)
Because Paganism doesn't piss people off fast enough anymore, I think Gnosticism is the new "I'm-not-a-troll-really" religion.

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[info]rimrunner
2006-04-09 01:50 am UTC (link)
For some reason though, he likes to hang out with us.

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[info]musette
2006-04-09 11:30 am UTC (link)
From what I've seen, he pretty much manages to wank on anyone whenever given the opportunity on any subject considered remotely spiritual/religious. But ya know, wank is as wank does or something.

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[info]tofuknight
2006-04-09 12:24 am UTC (link)
starchaser57: I haven't taken anything he has said seriously for many months now.

swisscelt: Wow, the forked tongue speaks! And-- surprise, surprise-- she does so to someone else.

Be gone, Demonchaser.

I can't tell if swisscelt is being sarcastic or not, and that scares me.

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[info]ayezur
2006-04-09 08:16 pm UTC (link)
Honestly, the lady deserves it. I went and wandered throuhg the back posts and the lady be Batshit.

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[info]theartema
2006-04-10 11:57 pm UTC (link)
Agreed. The saner types have given to calling her 'Pharisee' right up front because she's such a bible-beating hypocritical ass. Her husband likes to troll the Christianity comm on occasion. Heck if I know why she hasn't been banned yet. :\

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jenova
2006-04-09 01:29 am UTC (link)
Who uses "nay" seriously in this day and age? It's like watching tent!revival!wank displaced through space and time, except you'd replace all his made-up insulting words with "Papists".

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[info]hallidae
2006-04-09 02:03 am UTC (link)
Tent revivals are still around, you just have to be in the heart of the Bible Belt to see 'em now. And there's a lot more "healing" at 'em now, and a lot more screaming and "Thank ya, JAYsus"ing.

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[info]mcity
2006-04-09 03:38 am UTC (link)
I swear, half the churches within a mile of mine are tent churches. There are plenty of them on my little island.

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[info]emiweebee
2006-04-09 03:36 am UTC (link)
I totally "nay", but mainly when I'm being overblown or verbose.

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[info]emiweebee
2006-04-09 03:39 am UTC (link)
I'm irritated that some people are using the "Okay, but just don't challenge them, because challenging them gets everyone nowhere."

That's how slavery was outlawed, you know. By not talking about it and not saying one thought it was wrong.

But wow. I've never seen in real life a fundamentalist, let alone a number of them, all bitching in one spot.

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[info]ayezur
2006-04-09 02:57 pm UTC (link)
I'm sorry, but I was wandering through others posts on the comm and found this:

And honestly, as a man, it feels pretty good that I can show her I have self-control and that I love her by NOT having sex with her when she wants to the most.

Guh-buh-wah-huh?

Someone enlighten me.

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[info]tofuknight
2006-04-09 03:30 pm UTC (link)
There is no enlightenment. Sorry.

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[info]ayezur
2006-04-09 03:38 pm UTC (link)
But... but... so confused...

Wouldn't self-control be not pushing your wife into sex when she's really not in the mood?

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[info]cat_mcdougall
2006-04-09 06:03 pm UTC (link)
Nooooo because women don't enjoy sex. Duh! Didn't you get the memo?

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[info]pipssister
2006-04-09 05:46 pm UTC (link)
I think he's a dick. But since in my religion it's the guy's duty to give the wife sex when she wants it I could be a little biased.

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[info]ayezur
2006-04-09 06:40 pm UTC (link)
Jewish?

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[info]pipssister
2006-04-09 07:22 pm UTC (link)
Yep.

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[info]beandelphiki
2006-04-10 06:14 pm UTC (link)
Really? Gosh, the heavens must have sang when Viagra came out then.

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[info]freezer
2006-04-09 06:48 pm UTC (link)
I'll give it a shot...

And honestly, as a man, it feels pretty good that I can show her I have self-control and that I love her by NOT having sex with her when she wants to the most.

Translation: Proving I can conquer my demonic urges for pleasure makes me a Christian!Man! I mean... Sex when you want to, rather than the scheduled time, when my mind can be properly focused on England? Heathen talk! I love my wife too much to subject her to such beastly lust!

Any clearer?

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[info]ayezur
2006-04-09 07:15 pm UTC (link)
Yes. Unfortunately. I breathe the same air as these people???

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[info]lush_rimbaud
2006-04-10 03:27 pm UTC (link)
Maybe they're not married, and he thinks it shows how much he loves his girlfriend that he can save her from sin by not allowing her to seduce him?

If they're married, then... no words. What an ass.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

  
   
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