And for my first post, I bring you: The Return of Cow Rape
This is a little old; I posted it a week ago on wank_report back when I was just a wee mousie. It's small, but it's nasty.

Over in mock_the_stupid, someone posts about their mother-in-law not comprehending the fact that a vegan won't eat parmesan cheese (even if it's low fat!) because it contains dairy prodects.

Cue wank: http://community.livejournal.com/mock_the_stupid/2184876.html?thread=53724076#t53724076

bittergirl666 says: This lady sounds like the type that thinks all vegans are vegans solely for health reasons. And if Parmesan has less fat (which I've never heard) that it must be healthy and therefore vegan.

Never mind that it's still the product of cow slavery.

Much like the Harmonians, cows are ZOMG OPPRESSED!!! Never mind the fact that they're domesticated animals, and pretty much incapable of surviving in the wild. Not that that gives anyone a right to mistreat them, of course.

luckimunki (snarkily) responds: Hm, I wonder what dairy cows would do if they were freed from the bonds of farm life?

Pretty much the same thing, I think.

la_veuve_chibi retorts with a stunningly apt comparison: Go up to humans and ask them to take their milk that they could have used to feed their offspring?

And bittergirl666 finally gets to the rape: You mean get artficially inseminated on a non-stop basis so that they're pregnant pretty much all the time, enjoy their non-stop cases of mastitis, and give their offspring up for "adoption" so they can live in pens so small they can hardly even turn around so that their meat is nice and tender?

Yeah, totally.

Now, while there are some good points to be made about the mistreatment of farm animals, this is hardly the time or place to start a fight about it. But bittergirl666 keeps on going, whipping out the Condescending Numbered Points of Doom (as well as making a lame Star Trek reference):

1. I am not Counselor Troi - I don't detect a joke when the words aren't funny and are not accompanied by facial expression, voice tone, or emoticons. I sincerely apologize for this misunderstanding.

[. . .]

4. I'm sorry you feel my response was high-handed and bitter. If that was your reaction, I genuinely hope, for your sake, that you never unwittingly engage one my more militant and aggressive comrades. Because I pale in comparison.

Captain, I'm sensing self-righteous wank!

luckimunki tries to cool things off:

1. Aren't Star Trek references kind of clichéd for the internet? Here is a joke that you can tell is a joke because the words are funny: BLEAAARR FNOOG FNOOG SPOINK wankel rotary engine yadda yadeedahdaa HATS MADE OF FETAL PIGS. My best friend is a thimble.

2. Though I'm not vegetarian by any stretch of the imagination, I am both aware of and sympathetic to the plight of our barnyard friends and food sources. Just because I eat meat doesn't mean I don't care how it's treated prior to being slaughtered.

4. Anyway, this really isn't the place to be getting into a long discussion on animal rights or husbandry. As much as animal cruelty disgusts me, with the way the world is going right now, I reserve my outrage for a few more pressing issues. I fear not your comrades, as their self-righteous preaching is no different to me than that of fundamentalist Christians.

bittergirl666 (the point flying right over her head) snaps back: Way to avoid the issue. You have a great future in politics.

Pot. Kettle. Black.

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(Post a new comment)

	blackjackrocket 2006-04-10 04:42 am UTC (link)
	Wow, it's the Milk Wank gone sci-fi! (Reply to this)

	moonjaguar 2006-04-10 04:46 am UTC (link)
	And, um, dairy cows' offspring? Not used for meat. You know why? They're dairy cows. There are different kinds of cows, some are used for meat, some are used for milk. What about Milking Shorthorns and Hays Converters? Won't somebody think of the dual-purpose cattle breeds? Holstein beef is tender but doesn't have much flavor, I've found. (Reply to this)(Thread)