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wrongly_amused ([info]wrongly_amused) wrote in [info]otf_wank,
@ 2006-05-19 00:10:00


Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Britney Spears almost dropped her infant son today. Because near accidents like these don't ever occur in real life, ONTD hears about it and the community explodes.

Fun is had by all, especially since it gets posted twice!

Just a few bits include:

Every mom does it at least once!, which contains a bonus subthread that has traditional wanksta [info]emmacate involved.

Comm MEMBER: Dude, is there *anything* else going on the world outside of Britney?
MOD: OMG HOW DARE YOU VOICE YOUR OPINION.


"@^#$@%#@ It would happen to you, too, if you @#^@#% left a hotel with all that @#%@#!% paparazzi around." "Then why not use two hands to carry the kid?"

Haven't you ever dropped a baby before? It's common!

Why the heck does she always carry her baby around?

Good mothers don't drop their kids.

The sidewalk is out to get me, ya'll!

And these are only from the first five or so pages. Two different posts, with an increasing total of 14 pages at the time of this posting, and teh funneh overreaction keeps going.


Edit: Awww, second post was baaaaahleeted. But you still have 12 pages of wanky fun left on the original post. :-)



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[info]gal_montag
2006-05-19 04:15 am UTC (link)
Dude, *again*? I think this is the third time. I wonder if K-Fed is doping her.

Although, WTF is with all these people who are like, OMGZ! Mothers nevar drop their babyz!!! Because they do. It happens. It obviously happened to some of them.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]sorchar, 2006-05-19 04:17 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]gal_montag, 2006-05-19 04:20 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sorchar, 2006-05-19 05:12 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]smo, 2006-05-19 04:20 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]azhidahaki, 2006-05-19 04:39 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sorchar, 2006-05-19 05:15 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]funwithrage, 2006-05-20 02:53 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]wrongly_amused, 2006-05-19 04:19 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sorchar, 2006-05-19 05:13 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]wrongly_amused, 2006-05-19 06:44 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]oar, 2006-05-19 04:20 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]nekoneko, 2006-05-19 04:37 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]smo, 2006-05-19 04:42 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]nekoneko, 2006-05-19 04:44 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ella_w, 2006-05-19 05:01 am UTC
(no subject) - coreopsis, 2006-05-19 11:47 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]annabelle_lee, 2006-05-19 12:12 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]wrongly_amused, 2006-05-19 06:45 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mookie, 2006-05-19 11:45 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]purest_chaos, 2006-05-19 08:52 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]tyraarane_, 2006-05-19 01:17 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]antigone, 2006-05-19 06:03 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]thoms, 2006-05-20 02:12 am UTC

[info]smo
2006-05-19 04:19 am UTC (link)
A babysitter dropped my then-baby brother on his head once. Considering he's now in med school, I don't think it did too much damage.

(Reply to this)


vomitymcpuke
2006-05-19 04:21 am UTC (link)
GAH! If her life in the spotlight is so tragically horrible, then she can move the fuck away from LA. Cripes, I hate it when people use that defence for celebs acting like retards. Britney begs for publicity until it turns bad.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]wrongly_amused, 2006-05-19 07:11 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]eilan, 2006-05-19 07:42 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]wrongly_amused, 2006-05-19 07:51 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]freezer, 2006-05-19 01:10 pm UTC

(Anonymous)
2006-05-19 04:27 am UTC (link)
My mother tripped over whilst carrying me once and managed to catch me, but if she hadn't, I would have hit my head against concrete. Scary, but IT HAPPENS.

(Reply to this)


[info]isntitironic
2006-05-19 04:32 am UTC (link)
This is what we call 'evolution in action'.

(Reply to this)


[info]aerobot
2006-05-19 04:44 am UTC (link)
Okay, I know that the media adores jumping on celebrity mothers and tsking every little thing they do, as if they're supposed to be supermums.

On the other hand, Britney really isn't doing herself any favors. Holding a young child on a hip with a drink in one hand whilst in the middle of a giant crowd = not a good idea.

And no, I was not dropped as a kid. I just asked my mum, who also questioned holding a kid with one arm. Quote - "Kids are wiggly."

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]sorchar, 2006-05-19 05:14 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mookie, 2006-05-19 11:41 am UTC

[info]azhidahaki
2006-05-19 04:47 am UTC (link)
PLEASE, at least once every new mom has done that!

I never dropped my kid. My mom dropped my cousin though. She should feel bad. It's probably her fault she grew up to be so bitchy.



(Reply to this)


[info]gun
2006-05-19 04:47 am UTC (link)
I guess it doesn't say much if I admit that I was dropped, allowed to fall down stairs, and on one occasion tripped over as an infant and young toddler and intellectually I'm fine today? Seriously: if they judged my parents by the same standard they judged Britney by, I would have been placed in a foster home, or something. Fucking, one time after I fell my dad stitched me up himself without anaesthetics: that's negligent parenting right there.

(Reply to this)


[info]slackeremeritus
2006-05-19 04:49 am UTC (link)
I didn't need mum's help to bash my head into things -- I did that well enough on my own. Give little Sean Preston a couple of years and a coffee table. He'll turn out just fine.

P.S.: The first linked entry (6809989) has been bahleeted. :'(

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]gun, 2006-05-19 04:52 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]slackeremeritus, 2006-05-19 05:01 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]gun, 2006-05-19 05:05 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]slackeremeritus, 2006-05-19 05:15 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]gun, 2006-05-19 05:18 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]slackeremeritus, 2006-05-19 05:29 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]gun, 2006-05-19 05:36 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]slackeremeritus, 2006-05-19 05:44 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]stopthatgirl7, 2006-05-19 09:35 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]slackeremeritus, 2006-05-19 04:45 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]thegiantsquid, 2006-05-19 06:08 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mastervex, 2006-05-19 03:59 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]vigilanterodent, 2006-05-19 05:44 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2006-05-21 03:48 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]dandywolves, 2006-05-19 08:37 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]sepiamagpie, 2006-05-19 05:10 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]gun, 2006-05-19 05:16 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sepiamagpie, 2006-05-19 05:18 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]gun, 2006-05-19 05:19 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sepiamagpie, 2006-05-19 05:20 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ecchaniz0r, 2006-05-19 12:41 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]fuzzytowers, 2006-05-19 12:47 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]queencallipygos, 2006-05-19 02:28 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]semiotics, 2006-05-19 05:50 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]janegraddell, 2006-05-19 06:15 am UTC
(no subject) - coreopsis, 2006-05-19 11:56 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]janegraddell, 2006-05-19 11:16 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]exdee, 2006-05-19 01:48 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]elemcee, 2006-05-19 06:26 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2006-05-19 05:17 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]slackeremeritus, 2006-05-19 05:21 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2006-05-19 05:28 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]slackeremeritus, 2006-05-19 05:39 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]wrongly_amused, 2006-05-19 06:46 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2006-05-19 10:07 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]made_by_kali, 2006-05-19 11:07 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]fuzzytowers, 2006-05-19 12:57 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]fuzzytowers, 2006-05-19 12:59 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]slackeremeritus, 2006-05-19 05:13 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2006-05-19 06:41 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2006-05-19 08:46 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]marsdragon, 2006-05-22 01:25 am UTC

[info]innsmouth_eyes
2006-05-19 04:53 am UTC (link)
"Oh, Special Fred,
Mama dropped him on his head;
Now he's not so bright, instead
He's a little bit special..."

My mom never dropped me, I don't think, but she did drop my brother. On the curb. Ouch.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]aerobot, 2006-05-19 05:32 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]innsmouth_eyes, 2006-05-19 06:40 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mookie, 2006-05-19 11:40 am UTC
Oh special Fred... - [info]darkeyes, 2006-05-19 02:27 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]wrongly_amused, 2006-05-19 04:55 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]innsmouth_eyes, 2006-05-19 05:24 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]mookie, 2006-05-19 05:29 pm UTC

[info]darthmaligna
2006-05-19 04:59 am UTC (link)
My mum never dropped me. I did manage to roll myself off the couch once, though.

I think the point with Britney is not that she almost dropped her kid this once, but that she has repeatedly proven herself way too much of a stupid cunt to be raising a child. I mean, driving with the kid in your lap? Walking into a public restroom in bare feet? Saying that you think we should support the president unconditionally?

And the sad part is that I'm totally not being sarcastic. She really does make me want to kick puppies. :(

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]gun, 2006-05-19 05:03 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]keri, 2006-05-19 05:13 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]deadlettero, 2006-05-19 06:03 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]squib, 2006-05-19 09:00 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]antigone, 2006-05-19 06:04 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]mookie, 2006-05-19 11:32 am UTC
(no subject) - coreopsis, 2006-05-19 12:02 pm UTC

[info]lidane
2006-05-19 05:00 am UTC (link)
I went through every page of comments there, and a good number of them are about how even though she almost drops her son, she still manages to hold on to the drink in her hand. Just look at the last few photos in the original post.

I think that's what set off most of them-- it's less about something happening to her baby and more about the fact that she doesn't get rid of the glass in her hand to try and wrap her other arm around her son to catch him. The bodyguard behind her is the one who grabs the kid and makes sure he doesn't fall.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]doroc_sabah, 2006-05-19 01:38 pm UTC

[info]puipui
2006-05-19 05:03 am UTC (link)
It's funny, because I was just gossiping talking about this with a couple of people at work today, and then consensus was generally that, yeah, everyone has accidents, and everyone has those moments where the kid falls off the couch or wiggles out of the chair or flops her head back just as you're lifting and bangs it on whatever and you just feel awful, but generally speaking those things are pretty limited, and you tend to learn how to avoid them whenever possible. And I don't know Britney from Jack, but the poor dumb thing just does not seem to be learning.

Also, there is a difference between putting your kid in high chair only to have him accidentally slip out and driving in a convertible with the top down and all sorts of debris flying around while your infant son is in a front-facing carseat in the back. But, hey, at least he was in a carseat and not sitting in her lap, so maybe she's learning, after all.

And those are my thoughts on yaoi Britney. Well, that, and that freaky-weird statue is still butt-ugly, yo.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2006-05-19 05:30 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mookie, 2006-05-19 12:39 pm UTC

[info]honorh
2006-05-19 05:09 am UTC (link)
And she's pregnant again. Could someone please do a snip-snip on Cletus Federline? I do believe he's polluted the gene pool enough.

(Reply to this)


(Anonymous)
2006-05-19 05:32 am UTC (link)
I love that she nearly drops the kid but she's got an iron grip on that glass. Lol.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]darkeyes, 2006-05-19 06:09 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]wrongly_amused, 2006-05-19 07:38 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mookie, 2006-05-19 12:28 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]mookie, 2006-05-19 12:27 pm UTC

[info]supersyncspaz7
2006-05-19 05:55 am UTC (link)
Damn, Britney. Just... damn.

And for the record: when I was little, my dad was pushing me in one of those yellow plastic swings, and I fell out of it. Yet I am perfectly fine, and just finished my second year of college with stellar grades, thankyouverymuch. Not to say that dropping kids isn't bad, but come on.

(Reply to this)

Most horrible mum ever checking in.
[info]cat_mcdougall
2006-05-19 06:11 am UTC (link)
Right then Let's start with the eldest (she'll be 12 this summer)

She has, in the course of her almost 12 years;

-slid along a fence and gotten splinters in her butt, so large that it required an ER visit
-fallen out of a 2nd story window
-slid down the stairs on a piece of cardboard when she knows the stairway ends in a steel door

That enough? Fabby. Let's move on to the 10yo girl

-broken her wrist from a fall from a horse (she was riding 2 days later)
-fallen out of a tree
-slid down a "rope" made of bedsheets from her grandmother's attic (don't ask I don't know, but I'm pretty sure there was a dare involved)
-managed to roll under the couch as an infant

See how horrible a mum I am? Next up 5yo girl.

-fallen down stairs
-ran into the corner of the doorway, split her cheek open
-slid across ice, onto the blank top scratching up her face, her arms, and her legs (at school. They called me, I went to see her, she told me "Mommy I'm fine, go home. I wanna stay at school" while wearing enough bandages to be qualified as a mummy)
-ran into the back knob on an adjustable office chair because she was being tickled

I shouldn't ever be allowed to see my kids again! Next, 5yo boy.

He wins, cause he has Downs Syndrome and I screwed him up before he was born!

Also, walking out of the library last Friday (he still has the lump), he ran into the door handle on one of the fire doors, while holding my hand.

So... yeah things happen.

Note; I love my children but I'm pretty damn sure they're just about indestructible by now.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Re: Most horrible mum ever checking in. - [info]linadarkstar, 2006-05-19 04:22 pm UTC

(Anonymous)
2006-05-19 06:13 am UTC (link)
I love the expression on her face in the last picture. It's like, "Aw hell. Tabloids, here we come!"

(Reply to this)


[info]v_digitalwytch
2006-05-19 06:39 am UTC (link)
Well, while I never dropped either kid, they more than made up for it with others either accidental or deliberate in the usual sibling fights.

Coffee tables and doors closed too fast tend to top out the list...along with a thrown cordless mouse.

As far as Britney goes, so far she's about standard for the trailer park set, though she just lacks the Marlboro dangling from her lip while holding the baby.

(Reply to this)

Oh Britney...
(Anonymous)
2006-05-19 08:34 am UTC (link)
Brit - it's called a sling. Then you will able to hold Sean P, your Starbucks *and* some cheetos! It's a good thing!

Although I bet she's feeling pretty shaken up. Shit, almost dropping your baby? Not good or normal, no matter what some ONTDners might say. :(

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Re: Oh Britney... - (Anonymous), 2006-05-19 08:07 pm UTC

[info]shaggydogstail
2006-05-19 10:14 am UTC (link)
What's with all the 'but she didn't drop her glass!' comments? Because, clearly, covering the pavement in broken glass wouldn't have presented any possible dangers at all. *eyeroll* (Besides, gripping onto anything you might be holding to when you stumble is a standard reflex action.)

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]mookie, 2006-05-19 12:34 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]altoidsaddict, 2006-05-19 03:48 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2006-05-19 08:07 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]aerobot, 2006-05-20 02:07 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]diamonde, 2006-05-21 05:36 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]wrongly_amused, 2006-05-19 05:01 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]mookie, 2006-05-19 05:31 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]april_hurst, 2006-05-19 11:54 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]meatfight, 2006-05-21 02:20 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]theartema, 2006-05-22 01:12 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]shaggydogstail, 2006-05-22 08:32 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]aegflota, 2006-05-22 06:13 pm UTC

[info]mookie
2006-05-19 11:35 am UTC (link)
Oh hey, my name is hyperbole, what's yours?

I love this retort for the sole reason it contains the word "hyperbole" instead of "sarcasm".

(Reply to this)


[info]doroc_sabah
2006-05-19 12:40 pm UTC (link)
"I'm a mod and it's stupid when members complain about posting"

Gold! Bravo!

(Reply to this)


[info]luckdragonfujur
2006-05-19 02:24 pm UTC (link)
I like the "give the poor woman a break!" ones. I mean, if they feel celebrities should be "given a break" from paparazzi and the like, why are you in a celebrity gossip community?
But maybe I don't get it because I don't care at al about celebrities' private lives. >.>;;

(Reply to this)


[info]sashenka
2006-05-19 02:32 pm UTC (link)
This only proves my theory that she's becoming a lush.

I like the TomKat ew more than the Britney and K-Fed stuff... less wanky, more hilarious...

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]necronomist, 2006-05-20 05:16 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sashenka, 2006-05-20 06:54 am UTC


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