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radiotrash ([info]radiotrash) wrote in [info]otf_wank,
@ 2006-06-01 09:32:00


Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Baby wank without boobies?!
C&P from [info]wank_report because I am sneakily doing this at school. *ninja*

"[info]booju_mooju again. It's apparently OMG the worst thing ever for a mother to leave her baby with its grandparents for six months but everyone turns out to defend fathers who regularly spend six months to a year away from their children as just as good as those who, y'know, spend some time with their kids.

Some people valiantly try to point out the double standard but no-one pays any attention because "judging" someone for having a career that means they never see their children is apparently "sickening". Except when it's a woman at which point everyone on the community is quite happy to tell you that you're unnatural and unfit to be a mother."



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[info]frequentmouse
2006-06-01 04:49 pm UTC (link)
The lack of real-world understanding expressed in this thread</i> by [info]kittyface verges on the spectacular.

"People actually take the military this seriously?" Well, yes, and for good reason: unlike the Internet, it really does have a lot of guns, and stuff. Stuff like the power of keeping people to their enlistment on the military's own terms, with very nasty consequences.



(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]radiotrash, 2006-06-01 05:01 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]frequentmouse, 2006-06-01 05:19 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]yattara, 2006-06-01 05:49 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]staroverthebay, 2006-06-02 04:06 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]yattara, 2006-06-02 04:10 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]rosehiptea, 2006-06-01 09:19 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]napoleon, 2006-06-01 10:24 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]frequentmouse, 2006-06-01 10:41 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]wrongly_amused, 2006-06-02 03:08 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]napoleon, 2006-06-01 10:23 pm UTC

[info]threegoldfish
2006-06-01 05:15 pm UTC (link)
Oh good god. That's so ridiculous. Kid's a couple of months old so s/he isn't even going to *remember* mom being gone for six months. It will probably suck more for mom because she'll miss a lot of milestones but seriously. She's got a much brighter future with her career and by the time that the kid's old enough to really care and *remember* that mom's gone all the time, she'll either be ready to get out of the military or have a much better handle on her situation.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]yattara, 2006-06-01 05:27 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]threegoldfish, 2006-06-01 05:44 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]missdaisy, 2006-06-01 06:17 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]threegoldfish, 2006-06-01 06:49 pm UTC

[info]ella_w
2006-06-01 05:26 pm UTC (link)
I like how everyone keeps going on about how a dishonerable discharge, possibly including jailtime and definitely making it harder for the mother to get a well-paying, steady job in the future, would be oh so much better for the baby than six months with it's grandparents. Because 6 months of mom changing nappies instead of grandma is better than being able to provide food/shelter/a good education for you child down the road.

I don't get why a kid living with it's granparents is so horrible anyway. Grandparents tend to love their grandchildren a lot more than 12 hour a day babysitters would, and bonding is important with all of your family, not just your parents. If I were the OP I doubt I'd feel guilty at all. Sad that I was missing a large chunk of my kid's early life, because babies are rather adorable at that stage (when they don't need changing, that is) but not guilty.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]azawakh, 2006-06-01 11:16 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]ella_w, 2006-06-01 11:58 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]nicolae, 2006-06-02 01:36 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mireille, 2006-06-02 02:25 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]frequentmouse, 2006-06-02 02:44 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]rachel1496, 2006-06-02 08:17 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]frequentmouse, 2006-06-02 02:28 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]rachel1496, 2006-06-02 03:54 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]frequentmouse, 2006-06-02 04:25 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]funwithrage, 2006-06-03 04:18 pm UTC

[info]xero_sky
2006-06-01 05:50 pm UTC (link)
I would never, ever, ever in a million years let my daughter be away from me during that time. She will bond with my parents and not me, and that can never, ever be fixed. EVER. She will think your parents are hers and it will DEVASTATE HER when you come back to get her.

Wow. It's a good thing that most children grow up in wealth and comfort, cuddled by devoted parents who never, ever have to worry about real life issues like making a living or dealing with relationships. I had no idea babies were so fragile!! It's a wonder any children ever survive!

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]marciamarcia, 2006-06-01 06:28 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]hickorydickory, 2006-06-01 11:20 pm UTC

[info]doomsday
2006-06-01 05:56 pm UTC (link)
These people bragging about long they've gone without spending a second away from their kids are kind of freaking me out. They're reminding me of a lady I saw on Dr. Phil whose 3-year-old daughter slept in her bed every night (meaning the husband had slept on the couch every night), had never fallen down because the mother hovered over her every second, and wasn't allowed to stay with her grandmother while her parents went out to dinner or a movie because she might "let something awful happen" to the child.

I'm suddenly very thankful that my mother, though totally overprotective, would let me stay at my great-grandparents' or grandma's all the time as a kid. We both came out winners: I got some of my best childhood memories and she kept up a fairly normal social life.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]frequentmouse, 2006-06-01 07:03 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]beandelphiki, 2006-06-02 12:33 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]livii, 2006-06-02 01:33 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]beandelphiki, 2006-06-02 01:59 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]frequentmouse, 2006-06-02 02:25 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]radiotrash, 2006-06-02 04:49 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]rachel1496, 2006-06-02 08:23 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]oxydosic, 2006-06-02 12:38 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]janegraddell, 2006-06-01 07:11 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]nicolae, 2006-06-01 08:50 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]cereta, 2006-06-01 07:13 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]breecita, 2006-06-01 09:32 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]ladybirdsleeps, 2006-06-01 09:36 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]nicolae, 2006-06-02 01:38 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ayezur, 2006-06-01 11:48 pm UTC
applicable only in the U.S. - [info]cereta, 2006-06-02 01:40 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]bangoskank, 2006-06-01 08:01 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]threegoldfish, 2006-06-01 08:06 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]doomsday, 2006-06-01 08:14 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]squeakytoy, 2006-06-01 09:02 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]doomsday, 2006-06-01 09:24 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]squeakytoy, 2006-06-01 09:39 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]doomsday, 2006-06-01 09:47 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]squeakytoy, 2006-06-01 09:53 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]azawakh, 2006-06-01 11:27 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]doomsday, 2006-06-02 12:44 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]beandelphiki, 2006-06-02 12:37 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mrbimble, 2006-06-02 02:21 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]radiotrash, 2006-06-02 04:52 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]rachel1496, 2006-06-02 08:32 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]renata_hpjc, 2006-06-02 06:30 pm UTC
Had to be said. - [info]miss_arel, 2006-06-02 01:39 am UTC
Re: Had to be said. - [info]renata_hpjc, 2006-06-02 06:31 pm UTC
Re: Had to be said. - [info]theropicus, 2010-11-04 01:40 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]radiotrash, 2006-06-02 04:54 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]drakyndra, 2006-06-02 05:44 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]radiotrash, 2006-06-02 07:19 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]drakyndra, 2006-06-02 07:20 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]also_not_a_pipe, 2006-06-03 04:41 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]oxydosic, 2006-06-02 12:49 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]plazmah, 2006-06-06 06:07 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]mireille, 2006-06-01 09:22 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]your_face, 2006-06-02 04:07 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]also_not_a_pipe, 2006-06-03 04:48 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]beandelphiki, 2006-06-02 01:50 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]felinephoenix, 2006-06-02 07:53 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]beandelphiki, 2006-06-03 09:11 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]funwithrage, 2006-06-03 04:24 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]plazmah, 2006-06-06 06:16 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]luthe, 2006-06-02 03:05 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]the_wanlorn, 2006-06-02 09:16 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]radiotrash, 2006-06-02 04:57 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]rosehiptea, 2006-06-01 09:26 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]squeakytoy, 2006-06-01 09:47 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]oxydosic, 2006-06-02 12:46 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]rosehiptea, 2006-06-02 06:33 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]kittikattie, 2006-06-02 01:18 pm UTC

[info]ladysorka
2006-06-01 06:14 pm UTC (link)
...these people make me want to declare myself childfree, and I want kids.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]squeakytoy, 2006-06-01 09:04 pm UTC

[info]chaimonkey
2006-06-01 06:20 pm UTC (link)
College education or biting nipples... Is this really a choice?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]nicolae, 2006-06-01 08:51 pm UTC

[info]missdaisy
2006-06-01 06:23 pm UTC (link)
The lack of understanding of the real world and the parent-child bond is mind boggling. My parents were very active in my daughters' upbringing when they were babies and I was first divorced and all that happened is they ended very with a close bond with all three of us.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]frau_eva, 2006-06-01 06:40 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]wrongly_amused, 2006-06-02 03:01 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]wrongly_amused, 2006-06-02 03:01 am UTC

[info]napoleon
2006-06-01 06:30 pm UTC (link)
I hate all of these people so fucking, fucking much.

Yeah, I'm the OP's side, and just ... God. Most of those commentors have got their heads up their asses and they're not even pointed in the right direction.

(Reply to this)


[info]seiberwing
2006-06-01 06:34 pm UTC (link)
Wait, so it's better to leave her at a daycare than with loving relatives?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]frequentmouse, 2006-06-01 07:04 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]yattara, 2006-06-01 07:05 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]seiberwing, 2006-06-01 07:20 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]seiberwing, 2006-06-01 07:20 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]azawakh, 2006-06-01 11:11 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]derumi, 2006-06-01 07:08 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]seiberwing, 2006-06-01 07:25 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]janegraddell, 2006-06-01 07:24 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]seiberwing, 2006-06-01 07:27 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]edana_ni_emer, 2006-06-05 09:11 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]seiberwing, 2006-06-05 09:24 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]edana_ni_emer, 2006-06-05 10:47 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]seiberwing, 2006-06-05 11:12 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]edana_ni_emer, 2006-06-06 01:48 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]seiberwing, 2006-06-06 01:50 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]edana_ni_emer, 2006-06-06 01:56 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]seiberwing, 2006-06-06 02:06 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]edana_ni_emer, 2006-06-06 02:11 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]seiberwing, 2006-06-06 02:19 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]edana_ni_emer, 2006-06-06 02:21 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]seiberwing, 2006-06-06 02:26 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ladyvorkosigan, 2006-06-02 03:12 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]seiberwing, 2006-06-02 03:25 pm UTC

[info]wolfshark
2006-06-01 07:05 pm UTC (link)
The whole thing is mindboggling. The one commenter (I'm sorry, I'm too disgusted to go back and find her name) that is insisting that those in the military shouldn't have kids? Isn't even trying to disguise the fact that she's anti military in general. Way to be biased there.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]frequentmouse, 2006-06-01 07:40 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]wolfshark, 2006-06-01 07:47 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]frequentmouse, 2006-06-01 09:02 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]breecita, 2006-06-01 09:38 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]the_wanlorn, 2006-06-02 09:22 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]amyheartssiroc, 2006-06-03 03:58 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]the_wanlorn, 2006-06-03 04:26 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]amyheartssiroc, 2006-06-03 05:42 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]wrongly_amused, 2006-06-02 01:50 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]frequentmouse, 2006-06-02 02:32 am UTC

[info]bangoskank
2006-06-01 08:17 pm UTC (link)
Wait, it's "disgusting" and "sickening" to let grandparents care for a baby? Wonder if those commenters tell their parents that when they want to drop the kid off for an afternoon.

I also like those encouraging her to not only lie, but get her relatives to lie so she can get discharged.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]rachel1496, 2006-06-02 09:08 am UTC

[info]belafarinrod
2006-06-01 08:37 pm UTC (link)
Meh. Dumb bitches.

I don't like children, but I'm not stupid enough to think that if you got one you wanted, it's completely easy to just hand them off for six months.

And bonding? Wtf, are we ducks or what?

If they are that worried about her kid, they should scrape together, oh... half a million dollars? And hand them over so she could take a while off and be with kidlet.

(Reply to this)


[info]splorch
2006-06-01 08:50 pm UTC (link)
You know, I used to think I was an okay mom until I got an internet connection. Holy fucking shit.

(Reply to this)


[info]mistal
2006-06-01 08:57 pm UTC (link)
The baby will be 8 months or so when the mom comes back, the mom wont really miss a lot of big step, few sounds/words some crawling around and maybe some walking with help.


She will think your parents are hers and it will DEVASTATE HER when you come back to get her.

I doubt that at 8 month, she'll be devastate...It might take a bit of time for her to adjust back to the mom, but it wont ruined her and devastate her.

Plus it's not like the mother will never see her, every break she'll have will be spend with her.

(Reply to this)


[info]lidane
2006-06-01 09:00 pm UTC (link)
I would never, ever, ever in a million years let my daughter be away from me during that time. She will bond with my parents and not me, and that can never, ever be fixed. EVER. She will think your parents are hers and it will DEVASTATE HER when you come back to get her.

Bitch, please.

That is a bunch of bullshit from someone who clearly doesn't know any better.

My grandparents raised me for the first three YEARS of my life because my mom was unable to do it. She'd been in a rather severe car wreck and spent those three years in and out of the hospital, in traction, or otherwise recovering from her injuries. She physically couldn't care for me, so her parents graciously took up the slack.

I finally moved in with her when I was 3 1/2, and I adjusted just fine to the whole thing. I knew she was my mom, because my grandmother had taken great care to let me know who my mom was, and who my grandmother was. And I had seen my mom on occasion, when she could manage a visit. It's been thirty years since then, and my mom is probably one of my closest friends now. We get along well and have a very strong bond.

You can't tell me that a child being raised by its grandparents for a few months (or in my case, a few years) will be permanently scarred by it all and unable to bond with their natural parents. I know better than that, and from personal experience.

(Reply to this)


[info]nicolae
2006-06-01 09:07 pm UTC (link)
I don't like to criticize anyone's choice of career or reasoning for that choice. If you want to work a low-paying job for which you're overqualified so you have the free time to indulge any interest, be it your children or World of Crack Warcraft, that's YOUR business.

However, I think that: 1. hating on military people because you don't like the foreign policy is a shitty, shitty thing to do; 2. I remember nothing from the ages of 2 months to 8 months -- it won't have any effect on the BABY, though I'm sure her mother will miss her; 3. it was kind of stupid for the OP to post that in the first place if she didn't want advice -- it just invited a wankfest.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]rosehiptea, 2006-06-01 11:30 pm UTC

catatonia
2006-06-01 10:39 pm UTC (link)
What a lovely western-centric world view these people have. Because there aren't villages and towns and countries in the world where childrearing involves not only the parents, but the immediate family. Or the not-so immediate family. Or the whole clan or tribe or mob.

Idiots.

(Reply to this)


[info]darthfi
2006-06-01 10:57 pm UTC (link)
Ah, but as the world is far too eager to tell every mother out there: "You're a bad mother". No matter what mothers do, they do it wrong. Or so my friends who are mothers tell me. [1]

Me? I'm a bad woman for not having babies. But then they're bad women for having babies.

Basically, if you're female, *everything* you do is wrong.

And don't no-one forget it! *g*

(Reply to this)


[info]moonjaguar
2006-06-01 11:12 pm UTC (link)
She could apply for a hardship discharge under those circumstances and not have to be dishonorably discharged.

Uh.. why would the OP want to apply for a hardship discharge when her baby's grandparents are apparently willing and able to watch her? I'm not seeing the hardship here.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]frequentmouse, 2006-06-02 02:36 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]cyn, 2006-06-02 04:12 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]frequentmouse, 2006-06-02 05:01 am UTC

[info]sharps
2006-06-01 11:25 pm UTC (link)
Jesus.

I know for a fact that my parents just propped me up on the couch watching football on TV when I was a few months old and they needed to go and mow the lawn - I never learned to crawl, so I just started walking at about a year and never looked back. Before I was a year old, I was simply immobile, a bit like a Sims baby. Given that, I doubt they'd have thrown a fit about leaving me with a trusted friend while they had time alone.

When I was two I ran away with the neighbour's dog - my then best friend - and no-one noticed until I was round the corner of our cul-de-sac. That crowd on booju-mooju would be baying for their blood.

Now... now I'm going to live in Germany for a year. My parents are going mental, but they're supportive enough to help me apply for stuff I don't personally need to apply for (they know my name and birthdate which is enough for most things). The booju-mooju people are probably still breastfeeding at this stage...

... and posting the pictures on the internet!

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]papervolcano, 2006-06-02 12:40 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sharps, 2006-06-02 09:24 am UTC

[info]aerobot
2006-06-02 01:14 am UTC (link)
I want to fucking choke [info]sblmnldrknss. Yes, it would sure be nice to live in Happy Rainbow Land, where everyone could get a high-paying job and still come home every night. Too bad that most of us live in reality, and many jobs simply do not work like that.

Example? My father works in the mining industry, and that means he had to be away a lot to work on site. If you wanted a decent paying job, that's what you had to do, and my dad chose to. Why? Because he believed that giving me a good education was one of the most important things he could do as a father. He worked like that to send my sister and I to one of the best schools in the fucking state. And even though I only saw him on weekends, or on one-week intervals, I still love and respect him more than anyone on the planet.

But according to this cow, he should have gotten a cheaper job to be with us 24/7, or never had us at all. Yeah. Whatever. If everyone did that, that'd be the end of Australia's mining industry and good-bye economy.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]sol, 2006-06-02 01:48 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sol, 2006-06-02 01:52 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]aerobot, 2006-06-02 03:00 am UTC

[info]livii
2006-06-02 01:31 am UTC (link)
Hate. HATE. HATE.

Fucking self-absorbed bitches. And bonding. WTF bonding? Was made up at some point, you know, and I think kids survived before we knew what it was. You can bond with ANYONE at ANY TIME in life and frankly in this situation I think the grandparents are a wonderful solution to a hard problem; the child will probably have such a lovely relationship with them. A village to raise a child, what?

(Reply to this)


[info]wrongly_amused
2006-06-02 01:48 am UTC (link)
Does [info]sblmnldrknss have to actively work at being an ignorant fuckwit, or does it come naturally to her?

(Reply to this)


[info]mrbimble
2006-06-02 02:27 am UTC (link)
Personally, I'm not keen on babies being left while parents have to work, but ya know? Not everyone is blessed/lucky enough to work 6 hours a day, get paid really really well for it and have the Magic Mommy Fairy (swiped from someone above) to care for her child while she's away for those six hours daily.

This mom is doing the best she can. Baby is being left with people that love him/her. that's the most anyone not in the mom's particular situation has the right to demand.

(Reply to this)



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