Mm-mm, teen pregnancy wank.
Over at the Realm of Infamy (a site devoted mostly to discussing fantasy/sci-fi, but it's got an off-topic section), shaitan117 makes a thread Talked about a fucked up situation! (sic), wherein he relates to the public at large the sordid and unfortunate tale of having unprotected sex, and possibly impregnating his girlfriend:

I unintentionally ejaculated in her. The real problem is that she's very fertile, her real mother (she's adopted) was a prostitute from Mexico that gave birth to 21 kids, and not to mention my girl's been feeling symptoms all week.



ClubbingBabySeals is somewhat skeptical; CharonsClaw9287 agrees. Much pointing and laughing at the OP's issues ensues.

Jack regales the OP with a charming fable, plus another note of skepticism.

You should've begged for a knob job, followed with a denounciation of "prissy girls" who refuse to do oral.

shaitan lists the symptoms his girlfriend is experiencing; people wonder if she's having bird flu rather than undergoing pregnancy.

Some female posters bring up menstruation; Haven, menstrution-fearing manly-man that he must be, objects.

shaitan returns to update us on the situation: So yeah, yesterday afternoon she took a pregnancy test and it came up positive.

Please ask her to abort that kid, ClubbingBabySeals opines. (Check out Carcer's charming comment.) This suggestion doesn't go down well. Halfhearted abortion-related argument ensues. Pipes chimes in with I dont pray, dude, but I pray she miscarries.

Again, ClubbingBabySeals expresses her skepticism: having just been through the debacle myself I can tell you that her hGC levels would not be high enough from the time he posted this thread through his announcement of a positive result for any pregnancy test on the market today to have registered. Texas T fanboys her for it. shaitan affirms this is srsly for real, and he's willing to take photos of his pregnant girlfriend to prove it in the coming months. Strangely, that doesn't go down well, either.

Jack, anti-abortionist, lectures: If success in a child were measured by the comfort of a child's background or even how indulgent their parenting then Paris Hilton would rule the world and men like Ronald Reagan, Theodore Roosevelt and Pope John Paul would be mid-level executives, hollow nobodies, or abject failures.

CSG speaks: And let's not forget our secret motives which lay at the heart of our scolding, which is to say we disapprove of interracial relations, regardless of financial situations and whatever else you can mention. Turning this into "a race thing" does not, again, go down well.

Mind you, very few things go down well on this board. CSG digs up a photo of shaitan and his girlfriend to prove the point. (Am I the only one who finds something... wrong with this picture? I'm not sure what it is, but something about it screams "photomanip" and "pastede on yay!" to me. Any experts care to take a look? The girl's supposed to be Swedish-Mexican, by the way.)

There's quite a bit more to the thread, and this forum being what it is, it will only grow and grow. Bon appetit!