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This is supposed to be funny, damnit! ([info]gloria_mundi) wrote in [info]otf_wank,
@ 2006-07-30 18:22:00


Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Trolls taste good with ketchup.
So, foto_decadant is a community for posting avant garde fashion. Okay.

Enter 5fingerdismount who posts anti-abortion spam.

Members proceed to cry foul, dissect the scientific inaccuracies of said spam and otherwise fill everything with spooge.

Highlights are donleavy who brings the funny with this gem on page two; Catholics believe that unbaptized babies spend eternity in Limbo. I assume this would also apply to a fetus. So really, what the freakishly developed fetus should be saying is, "Don't worry, Mommy. I'm in Euclid's arms. He's holding me. He told me about abortion. He also told me about Euclidean geometry. Plato and Aristotle are in a corner getting it on. Virgil is still helping this guy look for this lady, but I'm pretty sure it's a lost cause. Jesus is apparently too cool to hang out with us."

Don't miss page 3 where . . . oh crap, it got deleted.

Anyways, you can at least read the spam here. http://msgboard.snopes.com/message/ultimatebb.php?/ubb/get_topic/f/15/t/002222/p/1.html


(Post a new comment)


(Anonymous)
2006-07-31 01:33 am UTC (link)
I'm a Christian so I'm likely going to hell for this, but the line about Virgil made me lol.

(Reply to this)


[info]emiweebee
2006-07-31 02:03 am UTC (link)
*sigh*

If only donleavy'd read some Inferno, then he'd know that that's all okay, it's just the Hell Limbo the babies are in.

(Reply to this)


(Anonymous)
2006-07-31 02:11 am UTC (link)
Haha, that poster spammed very community on lj, practically. Favorite comments:

-I wish your mommy had aborted YOU.

-Fuck. I realise that LiveJournal is trying to market its appeal to the younger generation, but I'd have thought that they'd have at least made the trip through the birth canal!

-thehotdamned

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]altoidsaddict
2006-07-31 07:39 am UTC (link)
LJ already has a way of determining if a clump of cells is a person. All you have to do is type in a sequence of somewhat-visible letters and numbers. If only we could get Operation Rescue to use the same standard...

(Reply to this)(Parent)


iwanttobeasleep
2006-07-31 02:22 am UTC (link)
Wouldn't Euclid, Plato, Aristotle and Virgil all be in hell for not being Christian? I was under the impression that that was a prerequisite.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]threegoldfish
2006-07-31 02:34 am UTC (link)
If I remember my Dante correctly, they get a pass to the very outer edges of Hell where it's not really hell, just kinda dreary, because of being born before Christ but living viturous lives in every other way. Or something like that.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]khym_chanur
2006-07-31 02:49 am UTC (link)
Wait, would that apply to, say, Moses as well? Or did pre-Christ Jews get a pass?

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]emiweebee, 2006-07-31 02:59 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]selene_avis, 2006-07-31 08:27 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]ayezur, 2006-08-02 01:59 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]drhenryjekyll, 2006-08-02 03:40 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]threegoldfish, 2006-07-31 02:59 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]judyhazeleyes, 2006-07-31 03:08 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]khym_chanur, 2006-07-31 03:09 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]threegoldfish, 2006-07-31 03:11 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]hallidae, 2006-07-31 03:26 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2006-07-31 04:08 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]altoidsaddict, 2006-07-31 07:35 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]altoidsaddict, 2006-07-31 07:44 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]rachel_pi, 2006-07-31 10:36 pm UTC

[info]symbeline
2006-07-31 02:54 am UTC (link)
I think Virgil got special treatment because of something he wrote, but I'll be damned if I can remember what it was.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]touma, 2006-07-31 03:48 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]tofuknight, 2006-07-31 02:11 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]symbeline, 2006-08-01 06:31 am UTC

[info]emiweebee
2006-07-31 02:57 am UTC (link)
Yep. They're in pre-Hell, but it's not as bad as the first two layers, with the bees et al. Also the unbaptized babies go there, I think. And it's okay, just that they all sit around feeling awful because they're not with God.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]judyhazeleyes, 2006-07-31 03:04 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]emiweebee, 2006-07-31 03:07 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]judyhazeleyes, 2006-07-31 03:11 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2006-07-31 04:50 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]seraphtrevs, 2006-07-31 07:28 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]jerel, 2006-08-02 10:30 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2006-08-01 08:28 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]altoidsaddict, 2006-07-31 07:18 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]provetheworst, 2006-07-31 10:51 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]altoidsaddict, 2006-07-31 11:06 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]pariforma, 2006-07-31 11:13 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]tofuknight, 2006-07-31 02:13 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]gloria_mundi, 2006-07-31 05:27 pm UTC

(Anonymous)
2006-07-31 08:36 am UTC (link)
Vergil should go to Hell for GODDAMN POETIC SINGULARS.

*cries*

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]liz_marcs
2006-07-31 02:29 am UTC (link)
Ahhhh, pooh. I submitted this same wank to Fandom_Wank before this came up here. I figured there was more appropriate since my vector was mostly fandom communities.

Still, I smell a big ol' troll in more than once sense of the word. Have you seen Troll's user info?

(Reply to this)


[info]khym_chanur
2006-07-31 02:52 am UTC (link)
"Five Finger Dismount"? I'm pretty sure it's not refering to leaping off a horse with the use of just one hand, but my imagination isn't perverted creative enough to figure out what it could mean.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]hallidae
2006-07-31 03:27 am UTC (link)
Maybe it was supposed to be "five finger discount", which means shoplifting? I dunno, really.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


flightstothesea
2006-07-31 04:34 am UTC (link)
[info]donleavy, FTW. I saw that on metaquotes and giggled.

(Reply to this)


[info]ironymaiden
2006-07-31 06:24 am UTC (link)
Catholics believe that unbaptized babies spend eternity in Limbo.

We do? How did I not know this? Wow, I fail at being Catholic.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]ivyincubus
2006-07-31 06:50 am UTC (link)
Because we don't. Not anymore, anyway. Even before it was pretty much taken out of the canon by Bendict XVI, it had fallen so out of favor that no one really recognized it anymore.

Ah, a rewrite of canon. Does that mean all those babies prior to this got Jossed?

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]seraphtrevs
2006-07-31 07:25 am UTC (link)
Ah, a rewrite of canon. Does that mean all those babies prior to this got Jossed?

*sporfle!* Retcon: not just for comics anymore.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]v_digitalwytch
2006-07-31 03:56 pm UTC (link)
As it was explained to me, Limbo was like heaven but without the presence of God. I guess the concept of all those pagan babies happily cavorting while not being under the watchful eye of God was too much for some.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]mael
2006-07-31 04:23 pm UTC (link)
I know my mom believed it enough to have me baptized before I was three days old. And she managed that by lying to a bishop. See how you can pick and chose your sins?

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]drhenryjekyll, 2006-08-02 03:43 pm UTC

[info]aerobot
2006-07-31 11:23 am UTC (link)
Day 1
Mommy, I am only 8 inches long, but I have all my organs. I love the sound of your voice. Every time I hear it, I wave my arms and legs. The sound of your heart beat is my favorite lullaby.


BUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA! Man that 'Diary of an Unborn' was the funniest shit ever.

Y'know, you'd think that suddenly getting 8 inches on fetus in your uterus would HURT. That, and it's funny on how loving and considerate that fetus is, considering that it'll instantly forget it once it pops out of the womb. Yeeeeaaaah, babies love you and only want to make you happy! Uh huh. Who's never been around a real baby, again?

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]v_digitalwytch
2006-07-31 03:57 pm UTC (link)
You have to listen to the song it's from to truly grasp the hilarity, particularly at the 'Why did you kill me MAAAAAWMEEEE!' refrain.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]exdee, 2006-07-31 04:16 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2006-07-31 05:04 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]becktionary, 2006-08-03 05:51 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]hickorydickory, 2006-07-31 05:56 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]exdee, 2006-07-31 10:01 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]v_digitalwytch, 2006-08-01 04:40 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]zinkchan, 2006-08-01 01:06 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]aerobot, 2006-08-01 01:04 pm UTC

[info]panthea
2006-07-31 11:51 pm UTC (link)
The sound of your heart beat is my favorite lullaby.

I was rather partial to the stomach acid whooshing by, myself.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]aerobot, 2006-08-01 01:07 pm UTC

[info]visp
2006-08-03 06:38 am UTC (link)
I love how he has blond hair and blue eyes. *cough*nazi*cough*

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]lavenderfrost
2006-07-31 09:41 pm UTC (link)
Aaaaaaaaand we have an obligatory Angry Mod Post!

(Reply to this)


[info]jerel
2006-08-02 10:28 pm UTC (link)
Alas, Limbo has been cancelled. The Vatican had a major rewrite of the rules in the 1960s, and got rid of Limbo. They also purged a few of the saints.

Not Saint Anthony, thankfully, or no one in my family would ever be able to find anything. ;)

(Reply to this)


 
   
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