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Maria the Lost ([info]mariagoner) wrote in [info]otf_wank,
@ 2006-09-21 02:03:00
Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Feministe Hymenic Wank Ahoy!
So what happens when an ardent cry for help from a man who hasn't been able to initiate sex with his wife ends up as the topic of choice in a feminist blog whose leanings skew to the far left?

I'll give you three guesses and the first two don't count!

This wank starts off quite well with Zuzu's, erm, far reaching comments, descends into give-and-take debate for a bit and eventually flowers into a beautiful boquet of splooge, with people arguing over who's to blame for a lack of nookie in the marriage, what fetishizing virginity really does to women, and who can't read properly in the thread. Hope you enjoy, everyone! I sure as hell did.
Page 1 of 2
<<[1] [2] >>

(Post a new comment)


[info]napalmnacey
2006-09-21 06:22 am UTC (link)
Wanting to have sex with his wife - what a BASTARD!!

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]skewed_tartan, 2006-09-21 06:54 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]napalmnacey, 2006-09-21 06:58 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ashes, 2006-09-22 07:37 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2006-09-21 02:05 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]napalmnacey, 2006-09-21 02:17 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2006-09-21 02:50 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2006-09-22 03:01 am UTC
... - [info]napalmnacey, 2006-09-22 04:48 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]wrongly_amused, 2006-09-21 02:49 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]napalmnacey, 2006-09-21 02:50 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]caito, 2006-09-21 03:01 pm UTC
... - [info]napalmnacey, 2006-09-21 03:31 pm UTC
... - ealusaid, 2006-09-21 05:19 pm UTC
... - [info]napalmnacey, 2006-09-21 05:33 pm UTC
... - [info]crevette, 2006-09-22 07:56 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]puipui, 2006-09-21 06:25 pm UTC
... - [info]scourgemonkey, 2006-09-21 07:35 pm UTC
... - [info]polygamouse, 2006-09-21 08:09 pm UTC
... - [info]puipui, 2006-09-21 08:46 pm UTC
... - [info]mindset, 2006-09-21 09:10 pm UTC
... - [info]jat_sapphire, 2006-09-22 02:54 am UTC
... - [info]napalmnacey, 2006-09-22 04:43 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]slwatson, 2006-09-22 03:06 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]napalmnacey, 2006-09-22 04:49 am UTC

[info]delcj
2006-09-21 06:41 am UTC (link)
please, no virgin-bashing.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]misakichi, 2006-09-21 04:06 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]missdaisy, 2006-09-21 06:13 pm UTC
Yeah! - [info]honorh, 2006-09-21 06:51 pm UTC

[info]scarah2
2006-09-21 06:45 am UTC (link)
Oh man, what a big ball of crazy. Sense of entitlement? I would guess most people feel they should be entitled to get with their new life partner once in three months.

I tend to agree with the shit about "waiting for marriage" being arbitrary amd the pressure cooker of the promised Wedding Night. That can't be good for anyone. Maybe in this chick's mind she thinks she's expected to go from 0 to Jenna Jameson in 60 seconds and can't take the performance anxiety. Or, maybe, she chose her husband for other reasons and never really considered viewing him sexually.

I don't want to offend anyone reading this who's chosen to wait. I just hope they wait for a meaningful occasion with someone who cares about them and not work up this big Cinderella's Wedding Day thing. If you have a thing about intercourse, fine. No reason not to try a few other tricks with someone if you think you like them enough to get hitched. There's a lot of people out there who don't have a thing for intercourse and would be entirely happy spending their lives with oral or something else.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]rosehiptea, 2006-09-21 08:37 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]scarah2, 2006-09-21 09:05 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]rosehiptea, 2006-09-21 08:39 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]doomsday, 2006-09-21 08:54 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]scarah2, 2006-09-21 09:09 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]aerobot, 2006-09-21 01:24 pm UTC
... - [info]scarah2, 2006-09-21 01:33 pm UTC
... - (Anonymous), 2006-09-21 01:46 pm UTC
... - [info]visp, 2006-09-21 07:28 pm UTC
... - (Anonymous), 2006-09-21 09:42 pm UTC
... - (Anonymous), 2006-09-21 09:44 pm UTC
... - (Anonymous), 2006-09-22 03:10 am UTC
... - (Anonymous), 2006-09-22 03:43 am UTC
... - [info]doomsday, 2006-09-21 05:15 pm UTC
... - [info]squeakytoy, 2006-09-21 08:19 pm UTC
... - [info]gobsmacked, 2006-09-21 08:59 pm UTC
... - [info]squeakytoy, 2006-09-21 09:39 pm UTC
... - ealusaid, 2006-09-22 02:46 am UTC
... - (Anonymous), 2006-09-21 10:54 pm UTC
... - [info]aerobot, 2006-09-21 09:27 pm UTC
... - [info]amyheartssiroc, 2006-09-22 02:38 am UTC
... - (Anonymous), 2006-09-22 04:16 am UTC
... - [info]april_hurst, 2006-09-21 04:32 pm UTC
... - (Anonymous), 2006-09-22 03:14 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]visp, 2006-09-22 10:34 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]avari, 2006-09-21 11:44 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]doomsday, 2006-09-21 05:21 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]exdee, 2006-09-21 12:33 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2006-09-21 07:18 pm UTC
... - [info]exdee, 2006-09-21 09:54 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]symbeline, 2006-09-21 07:35 pm UTC
... - [info]mindset, 2006-09-21 08:48 pm UTC
... - [info]exdee, 2006-09-21 09:55 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]drhenryjekyll, 2006-09-23 02:03 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]miss_eponine, 2006-09-21 01:31 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]doomsday, 2006-09-21 05:27 pm UTC
... - (Anonymous), 2006-09-22 03:07 am UTC
TMI: - [info]queencallipygos, 2006-09-21 01:58 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]honorh, 2006-09-21 06:55 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]gobsmacked, 2006-09-21 09:01 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2006-09-21 11:14 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2006-09-24 02:21 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]aerobot, 2006-09-21 01:16 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]mcity, 2006-09-21 03:48 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]sidewinder, 2006-09-21 04:23 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]april_hurst, 2006-09-21 04:38 pm UTC
... - [info]sidewinder, 2006-09-21 04:49 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]honorh, 2006-09-21 06:58 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]caito, 2006-09-21 03:10 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]ghostmaster, 2006-09-21 11:53 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]kittenmommy, 2006-09-22 05:38 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]visp, 2006-09-22 10:38 pm UTC
... - [info]kittenmommy, 2006-09-22 10:48 pm UTC
... - [info]frequentmouse, 2006-09-23 12:31 am UTC

[info]hallidae
2006-09-21 06:50 am UTC (link)
Most of the wank seems to be coming from the article (the blog, not the original) and the comments on the original article. The commentors on the feminist blog seem pretty reasonable.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]raane, 2006-09-21 07:45 am UTC
But wanking is a sin too!
ealusaid
2006-09-21 07:00 am UTC (link)
Grah. As a virgin on religious grounds, there's so much I could say. It's all guaranteed to make me cranky, irritable, and wanky.

So I think I'll limit myself to a LOL INTERNET and go to bed.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Re: But wanking is a sin too! - [info]seeshellirun, 2006-09-21 02:55 pm UTC
Re: But wanking is a sin too! - [info]black_spot, 2006-09-21 08:54 pm UTC
Re: But wanking is a sin too! - [info]seeshellirun, 2006-09-22 06:07 pm UTC
... - (Anonymous), 2006-09-24 02:24 am UTC

(Anonymous)
2006-09-21 07:41 am UTC (link)
I find it interesting that some of these people seem to think that penis-in-vagina intercourse isn't different than other forms of physical intimacy. The only thing even close from a physical and psychological basis is anal sex, which I'm guessing isn't ever happening here. Oral, while fun and good in its own way, isn't the same.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]raane, 2006-09-21 07:46 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]loonylupinlover, 2006-09-21 08:32 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]squib, 2006-09-21 10:06 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]rosehiptea, 2006-09-21 08:43 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]lemone, 2006-09-21 02:47 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]eilan, 2006-09-21 04:16 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]puipui, 2006-09-21 06:52 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]mambo, 2006-09-21 06:57 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]visp, 2006-09-21 07:33 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]theladyfeylene, 2006-09-21 08:23 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]raane, 2006-09-21 09:09 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]ravenscanary, 2006-09-22 02:11 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2006-09-22 06:57 am UTC

[info]mooncalf
2006-09-21 08:07 am UTC (link)
... my attention was entirely distracted from the matter at hand by the title of one of the earlier Dear Prudence columns listed in the Slate sidebar: Kith of Death: I love her, but she doesn't know I killed her father.

I, I mean, feminist wankery and virginity discussions are all very fascinating and fun to read, but... holy crap! After I saw that, all I wanted to do was know more about the guy who killed someone!

(Reply to this)(Thread)

re: Kith of Death - [info]dunmurderin, 2006-09-21 09:39 am UTC
Re: Kith of Death - [info]deconcentrate, 2006-09-21 12:01 pm UTC
Re: Kith of Death - [info]the_wanlorn, 2006-09-21 01:11 pm UTC
Re: Kith of Death - [info]napalmnacey, 2006-09-21 02:53 pm UTC
... - [info]southerngaelic, 2006-09-21 08:18 pm UTC
Re: Kith of Death - [info]mastervex, 2006-09-21 06:17 pm UTC
Re: Kith of Death - [info]visp, 2006-09-21 07:35 pm UTC
Re: Kith of Death - [info]smo, 2006-09-21 08:06 pm UTC
Re: Kith of Death - [info]theladyfeylene, 2006-09-21 08:25 pm UTC
... - [info]smo, 2006-09-21 09:42 pm UTC
Re: Kith of Death - [info]adora_spintriae, 2006-09-22 12:20 pm UTC
Re: Kith of Death - [info]autumnyte, 2006-09-23 08:54 am UTC

[info]coffeebun
2006-09-21 08:17 am UTC (link)
So uhm.
Refusing to have sex before marriage = fetishization of virginity?
... I have a virgin fetish? D:

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]the_wanlorn, 2006-09-21 01:13 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]hickorydickory, 2006-09-21 03:55 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]misakichi, 2006-09-21 04:17 pm UTC
... - [info]shaysdays, 2006-09-21 04:40 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]limyaael, 2006-09-21 04:18 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]the_wanlorn, 2006-09-21 04:27 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2006-09-21 05:29 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]mindset, 2006-09-21 05:41 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]honorh, 2006-09-21 06:59 pm UTC

[info]aristaea
2006-09-21 08:38 am UTC (link)
I don't understand how they got from "my wife won't have sex with me" to "Christian fundies are eb0l". The guy didn't say anything about being Christian, and as far as I could tell in my two minutes of poking around their site on slow dial-up, Slate isn't a Christian org. I'm confused!

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]fourthage, 2006-09-21 02:09 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2006-09-21 05:31 pm UTC

(Anonymous)
2006-09-21 09:44 am UTC (link)
I know this totally isn't the point of the wank but I was actually really enjoying reading about virgin fetishism.

It’s good to learn new things!

-Roz

(Reply to this)


[info]squib
2006-09-21 10:08 am UTC (link)
I need to invite Zuzu to my house. All those sweeping generalizations might not be good for my brain, but they might get my kitchen floor clean.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]bitca, 2006-09-21 01:46 pm UTC

[info]missdaisy
2006-09-21 12:03 pm UTC (link)
Zuzu: I'm all for women saying no to sex, unless I assume they're saying no for reasons I don't approve of.

(Reply to this)


[info]zuzu
2006-09-21 12:47 pm UTC (link)
Erm, for the record. It's not me.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]elemcee, 2006-09-21 09:11 pm UTC
Oh for fuck's SAKE.
[info]aerobot
2006-09-21 01:14 pm UTC (link)
Oh wow, yeah, I love how dozens of people assume that this woman couldn't have possibly CHOSEN to remain a virgin, but clearly is a brainwashed fundie who thinks sex is dirty and sinful and oh pity her she must be miserable.

Y'know what attitudes really shit me about virginity? Not the fundie worship of virgins, but the arrogant assumption that virgins are scared, messed up, miserable, pathetic, or brainwashed. Fuck that shit. What happened to feminism respecting women's OWN FUCKING CHOICES ABOUT HER SEXUALITY, ASSHOLES!?

*mops up*

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Re: Oh for fuck's SAKE. - [info]scarah2, 2006-09-21 01:27 pm UTC
Re: Oh for fuck's SAKE. - [info]aerobot, 2006-09-21 02:03 pm UTC
Re: Oh for fuck's SAKE. - (Anonymous), 2006-09-21 02:45 pm UTC
Re: Oh for fuck's SAKE. - [info]skewed_tartan, 2006-09-21 05:45 pm UTC
Re: Oh for fuck's SAKE. - [info]ladysorka, 2006-09-21 04:16 pm UTC
Re: Oh for fuck's SAKE. - [info]snarkbunny, 2006-09-22 02:34 am UTC
Re: Oh for fuck's SAKE. - [info]slwatson, 2006-09-22 03:24 am UTC
Re: Oh for fuck's SAKE. - (Anonymous), 2006-09-21 02:42 pm UTC
Re: Oh for fuck's SAKE. - [info]telophase, 2006-09-21 03:50 pm UTC
Re: Oh for fuck's SAKE. - [info]mindset, 2006-09-21 04:04 pm UTC
... - [info]telophase, 2006-09-21 04:18 pm UTC
... - [info]zee, 2006-09-22 06:12 am UTC
... - (Anonymous), 2006-09-23 12:31 am UTC
... - [info]samhatesyou, 2006-09-21 08:12 pm UTC
... - [info]jerel, 2006-09-21 10:13 pm UTC
Re: Oh for fuck's SAKE. - (Anonymous), 2006-09-22 03:15 am UTC
Re: Oh for fuck's SAKE. - [info]hallidae, 2006-09-21 04:10 pm UTC
Re: Oh for fuck's SAKE. - [info]april_hurst, 2006-09-21 04:44 pm UTC
... - [info]hallidae, 2006-09-21 04:47 pm UTC
Re: Oh for fuck's SAKE. - [info]antigone, 2006-09-21 05:37 pm UTC
... - [info]silrana, 2006-09-21 11:45 pm UTC
... - (Anonymous), 2006-09-22 04:19 am UTC
... - [info]kittenmommy, 2006-09-22 05:56 am UTC
... - (Anonymous), 2006-09-22 03:22 am UTC
Re: Oh for fuck's SAKE. - [info]cairea, 2006-09-21 06:21 pm UTC
Re: Oh for fuck's SAKE. - [info]seeshellirun, 2006-09-21 06:39 pm UTC
Re: Oh for fuck's SAKE. - [info]deadgayrobin, 2006-09-21 07:06 pm UTC
Re: Oh for fuck's SAKE. - [info]mistal, 2006-09-21 09:36 pm UTC
Re: Oh for fuck's SAKE. - (Anonymous), 2006-09-22 03:20 am UTC
Re: Oh for fuck's SAKE. - [info]ladysorka, 2006-09-21 04:25 pm UTC
Re: Oh for fuck's SAKE. - [info]aerobot, 2006-09-21 09:33 pm UTC
Re: Oh for fuck's SAKE. - [info]sarracenia, 2006-09-21 10:32 pm UTC
Re: Oh for fuck's SAKE. - (Anonymous), 2006-09-22 03:09 pm UTC
Re: Oh for fuck's SAKE. - [info]jaseroque, 2006-09-24 05:06 am UTC
Re: Oh for fuck's SAKE. - [info]seeshellirun, 2006-09-21 03:00 pm UTC
Re: Oh for fuck's SAKE. - [info]yattara, 2006-09-21 03:20 pm UTC
Re: Oh for fuck's SAKE. - [info]mcity, 2006-09-21 04:14 pm UTC
Re: Oh for fuck's SAKE. - (Anonymous), 2006-09-23 12:34 am UTC
Re: Oh for fuck's SAKE. - (Anonymous), 2006-09-21 05:04 pm UTC
Re: Oh for fuck's SAKE. - [info]antigone, 2006-09-21 05:34 pm UTC
Re: Oh for fuck's SAKE. - (Anonymous), 2006-09-21 05:35 pm UTC
Re: Oh for fuck's SAKE. - [info]honorh, 2006-09-21 07:01 pm UTC
Re: Oh for fuck's SAKE. - ealusaid, 2006-09-21 08:56 pm UTC
Re: Oh for fuck's SAKE. - [info]amyheartssiroc, 2006-09-22 02:51 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]funwithrage, 2006-09-22 02:11 pm UTC
... - ealusaid, 2006-09-22 04:32 pm UTC
Re: Oh for fuck's SAKE. - (Anonymous), 2006-09-23 12:36 am UTC
Re: Oh for fuck's SAKE. - [info]jerel, 2006-09-21 10:24 pm UTC
Re: Oh for fuck's SAKE. - [info]slwatson, 2006-09-22 03:27 am UTC
Re: Oh for fuck's SAKE. - [info]kittenmommy, 2006-09-22 05:59 am UTC
Re: Oh for fuck's SAKE. - [info]visp, 2006-09-21 07:41 pm UTC
Re: Oh for fuck's SAKE. - [info]raane, 2006-09-21 09:00 pm UTC
Re: Oh for fuck's SAKE. - (Anonymous), 2006-09-21 11:16 pm UTC
Re: Oh for fuck's SAKE. - [info]jat_sapphire, 2006-09-22 03:13 am UTC
Re: Oh for fuck's SAKE. - [info]kittenmommy, 2006-09-22 06:01 am UTC
Re: Oh for fuck's SAKE. - [info]aerobot, 2006-09-22 07:58 am UTC
(in memory of Steve) - [info]adora_spintriae, 2006-09-22 12:22 pm UTC

[info]the_wanlorn
2006-09-21 01:15 pm UTC (link)
So, they discussed it beforehand, and now the wife's changed her mind and that makes the husband entitled?

If my parents say "Oh, I'm gonna get you an iPod for your birthday", and instead I get a pair of socks and am upset, does that mean I'm entitled?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]the_wanlorn, 2006-09-21 01:15 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2006-09-21 02:48 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]mindset, 2006-09-21 04:06 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2006-09-22 03:27 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]missdaisy, 2006-09-21 06:25 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]randomsome1, 2006-09-21 02:55 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2006-09-21 05:37 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]breecita, 2006-09-21 08:11 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]the_wanlorn, 2006-09-21 08:40 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]luthe, 2006-09-22 06:45 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]alpheratz, 2006-09-24 05:35 pm UTC
... - [info]the_wanlorn, 2006-09-24 05:37 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]raane, 2006-09-21 08:57 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]the_wanlorn, 2006-09-21 09:44 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]the_wanlorn, 2006-09-21 09:46 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]visp, 2006-09-22 10:43 pm UTC

[info]fourthage
2006-09-21 02:12 pm UTC (link)
I'm with the commentators who are amazed that there are Christian counselors who specialize in unconsummated marriages. Who knew it was such an epidemic?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]wrongly_amused, 2006-09-21 02:46 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]fourthage, 2006-09-21 03:57 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]amyheartssiroc, 2006-09-21 05:08 pm UTC
... - [info]fourthage, 2006-09-21 05:18 pm UTC
... - [info]napalmnacey, 2006-09-21 05:44 pm UTC
... - [info]wrongly_amused, 2006-09-21 05:24 pm UTC
... - [info]squeakytoy, 2006-09-21 08:38 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]wrongly_amused, 2006-09-21 05:18 pm UTC
... - [info]fourthage, 2006-09-21 05:24 pm UTC
... - [info]wrongly_amused, 2006-09-21 05:29 pm UTC
... - [info]fourthage, 2006-09-21 05:37 pm UTC
... - [info]amyheartssiroc, 2006-09-21 05:52 pm UTC
... - [info]wrongly_amused, 2006-09-21 06:54 pm UTC
... - [info]fourthage, 2006-09-21 06:59 pm UTC
... - [info]jerel, 2006-09-21 10:40 pm UTC
... - [info]queencallipygos, 2006-09-21 05:50 pm UTC
... - [info]amyheartssiroc, 2006-09-21 05:55 pm UTC
... - [info]nicolae, 2006-09-21 08:21 pm UTC
... - [info]jerel, 2006-09-21 10:42 pm UTC
... - [info]fourthage, 2006-09-21 07:06 pm UTC
... - [info]smo, 2006-09-21 08:17 pm UTC
... - [info]wrongly_amused, 2006-09-22 04:23 am UTC
... - [info]smo, 2006-09-22 03:17 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]marciamarcia, 2006-09-21 08:15 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2006-09-21 11:31 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]miss_eponine, 2006-09-21 03:45 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]fourthage, 2006-09-21 04:03 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]miss_eponine, 2006-09-21 04:14 pm UTC
... - [info]fourthage, 2006-09-21 04:20 pm UTC
... - [info]marciamarcia, 2006-09-21 08:20 pm UTC
... - [info]southernbangel, 2006-09-21 09:29 pm UTC
... - [info]jerel, 2006-09-21 10:59 pm UTC
... - [info]number13baby, 2006-09-21 11:12 pm UTC
... - [info]coffeebun, 2006-09-22 10:40 am UTC
... - (Anonymous), 2006-09-21 11:32 pm UTC
... - [info]castalianspring, 2006-09-22 12:21 am UTC
... - (Anonymous), 2006-09-23 12:46 am UTC
... - iwanttobeasleep, 2006-09-21 04:34 pm UTC
... - [info]fourthage, 2006-09-21 04:41 pm UTC
... - [info]misakichi, 2006-09-22 05:48 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]honorh, 2006-09-21 07:08 pm UTC
... - [info]silrana, 2006-09-22 12:12 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]polygamouse, 2006-09-21 08:32 pm UTC

[info]senor_pinata
2006-09-21 02:25 pm UTC (link)
I love Feministe, but this made me go "BWUH?" when I saw it.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]onaga, 2006-09-21 03:27 pm UTC
(no subject) - ealusaid, 2006-09-21 05:32 pm UTC
... - [info]onaga, 2006-09-21 08:12 pm UTC
... - [info]aerobot, 2006-09-22 11:34 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]number13baby, 2006-09-21 11:51 pm UTC

[info]randomsome1
2006-09-21 02:29 pm UTC (link)
I think I know that girl.

Seriously, I used to go to college with a girl who hailed from the Far Right and who was incredibly hung up on the idea of virginity. I called severe sexual dysfunction the second I heard the word "hymenectomy" come out of her mouth, and she just got married within the past couple months.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]honorh, 2006-09-21 08:14 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]mindset, 2006-09-21 08:58 pm UTC
... - [info]honorh, 2006-09-21 09:18 pm UTC
... - [info]mindset, 2006-09-21 09:27 pm UTC
... - [info]miss_eponine, 2006-09-21 10:33 pm UTC
... - [info]mindset, 2006-09-21 10:44 pm UTC
... - [info]honorh, 2006-09-22 04:25 am UTC
... - (Anonymous), 2006-09-23 01:27 am UTC
... - (Anonymous), 2006-09-23 01:53 am UTC
... - (Anonymous), 2006-09-24 03:09 am UTC
... - (Anonymous), 2006-09-24 03:10 am UTC
... - [info]panthea, 2006-09-23 01:59 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]randomsome1, 2006-09-22 01:32 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]chibikaijuu, 2006-09-22 04:26 am UTC
... - [info]kittikattie, 2006-09-22 11:54 am UTC
... - [info]queencallipygos, 2006-09-22 08:58 pm UTC

(Anonymous)
2006-09-21 02:29 pm UTC (link)
I seem to be in the minority, but the only thing I have a problem with in zuzu's commentary is completely blaming the husband and making it a good guy/bad guy deal. I think she has a real point with virginity fetishism, and really, both people in the marriage have been done a disservice by way of it.

There also is a possibility the woman was abused previously, which I don't think has been brought up.

- mouse who reads Feministe daily

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]fourthage, 2006-09-21 04:06 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]polygamouse, 2006-09-21 08:35 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2006-09-21 11:33 pm UTC

[info]wrongly_amused
2006-09-21 03:05 pm UTC (link)
Feminists like Zuzu frustrate me. They make very good points, but in an overzealous attempt to attack discrimination, they overlook the damaging extent of their broad generalizations. A woman's choice to stay virgin, religious or not, is her own. I agree that a significant percentage of Christian women are given an upbringing that denies them alternatives beyond virginity, which IS what renders is an empty pledge. That is a very fair criticism and one that the Christian community would do well to heed. But some women choose to be virgins out of their personal regard and desire to control the direction of their sexuality, and to imply that doing as such merely exists for the encouragement of the male ego is about as anti-feminist as it comes. Talk about pushing women into another box. If a woman can't even choose to be a virgin without being criticized with it, then aren't we right back where we started?

While I also agree with her view that the pressure that's placed on women, particularly in regards to the virgin honeymoon, is overbearing and likely responsible for alot of issues that crop up in marriage where one or both partners are virgins, using it to decry this couple's issue as the husband's problem isn't solving anything. The partiarchy is more or less responsible for the fetishizing of virginity and the complications arising from sexual social pressure, but anger at the broad spectrum shouldn't be directed at the individual who is obviously eager to fulfill a mutual intimacy rather than a selfish one.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2006-09-21 04:25 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]redcoast, 2006-09-21 09:49 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]panthea, 2006-09-23 01:29 am UTC

[info]seeshellirun
2006-09-21 03:06 pm UTC (link)
You know, not all us Virgins (capitalized because I worship my pure, unblemished hymen with holy reverence, duh) are skiddish little rabbits.

Saying 'no' isn't just for fear anymore, kids. Sometimes we do it because we like it. In fact, I like it so much I say it over and over and over again until I'm exhausted. I say 'no' everyday and three times on Sundays.

Because Sunday is the Lord's day.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]antigone, 2006-09-21 05:32 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]seeshellirun, 2006-09-21 06:30 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]smo, 2006-09-21 08:19 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]saralina25, 2006-09-21 11:16 pm UTC

[info]caito
2006-09-21 03:22 pm UTC (link)
Because it's going to happen sooner or later...

CALLING ALL VIRGINS. CALLING ALL VIRGINS.
Come on, I know I'm not the only one...

See this wank?

Discuss in context with your own personal experience with your abstinence choices, religious beliefs, lack of opportunity, and/or plain and simple lack of smexxing.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]itsirtou, 2006-09-21 05:30 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]caito, 2006-09-21 05:33 pm UTC
... - [info]itsirtou, 2006-09-21 05:36 pm UTC
... - [info]skewed_tartan, 2006-09-21 05:51 pm UTC
... - [info]mindset, 2006-09-21 05:57 pm UTC
... - [info]puipui, 2006-09-21 07:10 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]jat_sapphire, 2006-09-22 03:25 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2006-09-22 11:09 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]aerobot, 2006-09-22 11:48 am UTC

[info]herongale
2006-09-21 03:41 pm UTC (link)
I just think it was a shame that [info]rfjason was not consulted in this matter. Screw the feminists, a man of sensitivity and tact is needed at such a critical time.



(warning, for those two people still left out of the loop: link is... obviously... not WS)

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]rachelmap, 2006-09-21 04:51 pm UTC
Please, no Xtian bashing.
[info]mcity
2006-09-21 03:45 pm UTC (link)
I should've seen this wank coming the minute I read the letter.

Why are all the comments talking about the "fetishization" of virginity? It's not about fetishes, it's about doing what one thinks is right. Christianity doesn't say that sex itself is wrong, just sex outside of marriage. And, arguably, gay sex. Good ol' straw men.
I’m a big advocate of having sex when you want to and with whom you want to — and of not having sex when you don’t want to. But I do remain very, very skeptical of virginity pledges and saving oneself for marriage when one actually does want to have sex prior to marriage. Why? Because it’s arbitrary and bears no relationship to readiness for sex or desire to have sex — it all has to do with making sure that the husband gets sole ownership of the pussy and the uterus.
And absolutely nothing to do with making sure the wife gets "sole ownership" of her husband's dick. Double standards what.

I bet they'd still be saying this both were still virgins.
Nothing happens? Kissing is nothing? Cuddling is nothing? Sensual massage is nothing? Oral sex is nothing? There are ways other than penis-vagina intercourse to be intimate. I understand that the guy’s frustrated, but…..
Which hole is she pulling this out of? None of that was in the letter.

It is in the first 3 months! It took me six months before I was comfortable enough with fingering, a year before I was happy having oral sex for the first time, and another four years until I was ready to try penetrative sex- lots of moving slowly through various stages of intimacy was what I needed to feel comfortable and confident in taking things further.
Why is she saying this to complete strangers?!
/wank
//virgin

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Re: Please, no Xtian bashing. - [info]shallow_kid, 2006-09-21 04:08 pm UTC
Re: Please, no Xtian bashing. - [info]fourthage, 2006-09-21 04:21 pm UTC
Re: Please, no Xtian bashing. - (Anonymous), 2006-09-22 03:33 am UTC
Re: Please, no Xtian bashing. - iwanttobeasleep, 2006-09-21 04:28 pm UTC
Re: Please, no Xtian bashing. - [info]shaysdays, 2006-09-21 04:56 pm UTC
... - [info]mindset, 2006-09-21 05:53 pm UTC
... - [info]gobsmacked, 2006-09-21 09:08 pm UTC
... - [info]mindset, 2006-09-21 09:19 pm UTC
... - [info]gobsmacked, 2006-09-21 09:27 pm UTC
... - (Anonymous), 2006-09-21 11:09 pm UTC
... - [info]gobsmacked, 2006-09-22 06:19 pm UTC
... - [info]crevette, 2006-09-22 08:29 pm UTC
... - [info]gobsmacked, 2006-09-22 07:26 pm UTC
... - [info]miss_arel, 2006-09-22 06:40 pm UTC
Re: Please, no Xtian bashing. - [info]khym_chanur, 2006-09-21 08:14 pm UTC
Re: Please, no Xtian bashing. - [info]marciamarcia, 2006-09-21 08:32 pm UTC
Re: Please, no Xtian bashing. - [info]mcity, 2006-09-21 09:02 pm UTC
Re: Please, no Xtian bashing. - [info]hallidae, 2006-09-21 10:25 pm UTC
... - (Anonymous), 2006-09-21 11:17 pm UTC
... - [info]silrana, 2006-09-22 12:52 am UTC
... - (Anonymous), 2006-09-22 05:36 pm UTC
... - [info]silrana, 2006-09-22 10:53 pm UTC
Re: Please, no Xtian bashing. - (Anonymous), 2006-09-22 01:58 am UTC
... - [info]jat_sapphire, 2006-09-22 03:29 am UTC
... - [info]misakichi, 2006-09-22 05:30 pm UTC
Re: Please, no Xtian bashing. - [info]ravenclaw_devi, 2006-09-22 03:45 am UTC
Not just Xtians - [info]gobsmacked, 2006-09-21 09:13 pm UTC
Re: Not just Xtians - [info]mcity, 2006-09-22 12:48 am UTC
... - [info]gobsmacked, 2006-09-22 06:11 pm UTC
Re: Not just Xtians - [info]pyrrah, 2006-09-22 05:11 am UTC
... - [info]gobsmacked, 2006-09-22 06:08 pm UTC
Re: Please, no Xtian bashing. - [info]greenling, 2006-09-22 07:10 am UTC
Re: Please, no Xtian bashing. - [info]mcity, 2006-09-22 12:55 pm UTC
... - [info]greenling, 2006-09-23 06:28 am UTC

[info]seiberwing
2006-09-21 03:52 pm UTC (link)
You know, I doubt there'd be this reaction if he was simply saying that his 'partner' (not wife) was skittish about sex. It'd just go with 'oh, he just wants her vagina and doesn't love her! He is the evil!"

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]seiberwing, 2006-09-21 04:03 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]wrongly_amused, 2006-09-21 07:00 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2006-09-21 09:29 pm UTC
(no subject) - redwarrior, 2006-09-22 02:27 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]seiberwing, 2006-09-22 03:29 pm UTC
... - [info]akilika, 2006-09-26 01:39 am UTC
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