I HAV YUR IP IM GONNA GET YOUUUUU!1!!!
Found by way of stupid_free but this is too damn funny not to share.

softest_fire posts to caninecentral hoping to find someone with a female German shepherd that she can breed with (her dog, not her). First comment out points out how many dogs are killed in shelters because no one wants them and how she's just going to contribute to the problem.

softest_fire then proceeds to wank so hard she nearly breaks something off. Later on when someone makes a very polite, nice comment, she bites that person's head off as well.

Highlights:

- continuous incoherence and lack of grammar
- continuous lack of any kind of sense
- continuous threats that she knows people's IPs and will use that information to "get" them
- continuous threats that she has a lawyer and has contacted LJ legal and if they continue to contact her (in a public community post), she'll GET THEM!!

Userinfo says she's 28 but frankly it's like watching a bitchy 12 year-old having a total meltdown. Fun times.

EDIT: As others have pointed it, it took nine months for the responses to take off, and the wank isn't all

softest_fire's; some of the comm members have their moments of batshit as well.

(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)

pantyless_angel
2007-01-07 09:08 am UTC (link)

YAY! fun fun story time! Star (The bitch)was a pure bread shelty Dad got for Mom years and years ago for Christmas. When she was a puppy Mom considered breading her but as she got older she started having problems. (We think it was because she was the runt of the litter which is why Dad got her for free.)
One of these problems was that she never went into a normal heat cycle, she never acted like she went into heat at all (We didn't even get the annoying male dogs that always show up when bitches go into heat). Our vet couldn't even explain it.

Anyway fast forward to when she's seven years old, The guy that farms our property has two dogs that always follow him when he goes to work. They usually stay and guard his farm equipment.

Star who had never so much as gone down our driveway suddenly disappears with these dogs. We searched for her for two months, on one of these searches Mom and I walked by this other farm where a large litter of puppies began to follow us back home until their mother came and made them go home.

About two weeks after this we were told by some one that star, and their puppy had been hit by a car. Mom decided to let me go and pick out one of the puppies from the other farm they were Sharpie/Border Collie mix, I picked out Grizzly, Who looks like a floppy eared coyote with hair by Don King.

A month latter a lady calls us to tell us she thinks she has our dog. She did, So now we have our newly resurrected dog, and a puppy. None of us even though about Star being able to breed until the next summer when I go out to feed bottle calves and find them locked together. We were all very surprised, and made vet appointments for both of them that afternoon. Grizz can still go with the flow when he wants but he's only shooting blanks now.

Sorry for the tldr.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

nicolae
2007-01-07 09:27 am UTC (link)

Heh, no problem about the length. I'm so glad you got your dog back, that must have been terrifying. Our dogs dug a hole under our fence and got out of the yard one afternoon, and even though we found them drinking out of a pool three blocks away it scared me half to death. I totally see why you didn't have her spayed, and none of that story makes your family sound irresponsible in the least. But it's also pretty different from what it sounds as if the OP was trying to do.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

pantyless_angel
2007-01-07 07:14 pm UTC (link)

We live in a big farming area, so it's not unusual to be visited by the local dogs or for your's to go visiting. As long as they have a collar their safe. Star was a shock though because she had never had the slightest interest in roaming. Mom was devastated but refused to admit it.

The only time I can remember Dad purposely breeding one of our dogs was Ginger our Brittany Spaniel. Their a very popular breed for bird dogs around here, and hard to find from breeders that won't cost you a fortune. I was really little not even in school yet and when I found out we weren't keeping them I cried.

We mostly get new dogs and cats by way of "Anonymous Donors" like our most recent addition Brandy. She's Dads 60lb lap dog. Over the years we've come the conclusion that we are not meant to have normal pets.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

(Read comments) -