You know it's a hell of wank when the furries end up looking perfectly sane

polyamory is usually an impressively unwanky community, especially considering that discussions frequently touch on sex, ethics, religion, and the difference between poly and swinging -- matters of no small controversy. But nothing gold can stay!

darkhorseman makes a post seeking advice about his polyamorous situation. The short version is, he wants to have many lovers but is uncomfortable if his lovers have other lovers themselves. Some of his original post bears quotation, though:

I have what a friend calls “The stallion mentality” I am poly but I prefer my partners not to be. This is not a problem with my wife as she is not poly and does not mind that I am. She has no interest in anyone else but me. Now Ariana/callmesilver on the other hand who is poly and prefers to have other partners. Now oddly enough I don’t as much mind the idea of her having intimacy with a friend but she wants more than that... to take it in to the area of love/being in love with someone else and it truly bothers me. I can't fully explain why though I have been meditating on it.

[snip]

Is there a… I hate to use the word sect of poly of people like me who have “The stallion mentality”

Emphasis mine. For reasons that will become clear shortly.

Community members chime in with their opinions and advice, surprisingly civilly considering that the "sect of poly" he may be looking for is most commonly found in fundamental Islam and LDS. Then, one member replies thusly:

I'm just going to say it...

Is your wife the Mare you wrote of before? Because, honestly, if your wife is a mare, really, well, that's quite different, IMO and it's fairly deceptive to come here and ask advice while leaving out a huge, major detail like that.

You see,

darkhorseman has a usericon that first led the community to believe he was a furry. Turns out, though, that according to posts he's made in other communities, he's a zoophile.

His "wife"? A horse.

To which the community says: Oh hell no.

00goddess: Well, I have to say, that a)I do think you should see a professional counselor and b)what you are doing is not polyamory. Polyamory is, most loosely defined, consensual, ethical nonmonogamy. You are engaging in a nonconsensual sexual relationship; in effect, you are raping an animal. That is not polyamory. In fact, it is criminal as well as unethical.

callmesilver: He does see a counseler. And thus the reason we never bring up the full truth of the situation, because it inevitably evolves into a damned flame war.

I've seen them together, and believe me when I say this... If she were not 'consenting', he'd be spending most of his time in the ER. Quite frankly, putting a mare in breeding hobbles with a stallion is more rape then anything he could possibly do. Consent takes many forms, is a deaf or mute person unable to consent? On a level of sheer body language, horses are much more clear in their intent then humans can ever be.

And so on, and so on. Eventually,

darkhorseman becomes overwhelmed with the community's negative -- but, again, amazingly civil -- response and baleets his post. More discussion in the baleetion-notification post about whether or not animals can consent to sex.

The ultimate wank, though, comes when

callmesilver,

darkhorseman's human lover, dresses the community down for their intolerance here (friendslocked but I believe the comm is open membership):

You have tossed around a bunch of he-said she-said bullshit and tried to make miserable someone who, honestly, came here looking for advice. Because of the fact that said person happens to love a horse as very much a member of our family. Fucking pathetic, if you ask me.

And to think any one of you claims to be openminded. To this, I say bullshit.

For those of you throwing around terminology like some hot-shot know-it-alls, yeah, we do love animals. To the extent of loving them in ways not necessarily deemed normal. Such as that I have raised an orphaned foal and consider her, though by no means biologically, my own daughter. I spent weeks living in a barn to be sure she'd survive. So am I therefore wrong because "she's an animal not your kid"? Nice to know. Because having an animal as a child isn't normal by most people's standards.

To extend this concept to romance, yes, it's possible to love someone romantically without having sex with them. God forbid, do you always think with your loins? Do you spend every waking minute of your seemingly pathetic lives slobbering all over everyone that you care about? Do you always fuck on the first date, too? Oh, and lemme guess, you live in a trailer park with Bubba and have three kids in diapers, right? Stereotypes work both ways you know.

[snip]

To those of you who stayed out of the flame war, you have my thanks. We were grateful for the honest opinions and ideas on how to make our situation work. And quite frankly, feel free to comment here. But I will NOT tolerate the flaming on my posts, period. You get snarky and try to throw apeshit at me and I'll delete it. End of discussion.

She makes good on her threat, and deletes several comments to her post, including one from the community's moderator telling her she's not allowed to delete comments. Bannination, naturally, ensues, and the snark, which is usually kept to an offshoot comm, is out in full force. And

darkhorseman says goodbye cruel internets, deleting his journal.

Anyone have any brain bleach handy?

ETA: Apparently,

callmesilver is now threatening to report

00goddess, the community's mod. Good luck with that one, hon.

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	hangingfire 2007-01-07 05:50 am UTC (link)
	O_O There is not enough brain bleach in the world. (Reply to this)(Thread)