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Lotte Claire ([info]lottelita) wrote in [info]otf_wank,
@ 2007-01-06 19:54:00


Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
You know it's a hell of wank when the furries end up looking perfectly sane
[info]polyamory is usually an impressively unwanky community, especially considering that discussions frequently touch on sex, ethics, religion, and the difference between poly and swinging -- matters of no small controversy. But nothing gold can stay!

[info]darkhorseman makes a post seeking advice about his polyamorous situation. The short version is, he wants to have many lovers but is uncomfortable if his lovers have other lovers themselves. Some of his original post bears quotation, though:
I have what a friend calls “The stallion mentality” I am poly but I prefer my partners not to be. This is not a problem with my wife as she is not poly and does not mind that I am. She has no interest in anyone else but me. Now Ariana/[info]callmesilver on the other hand who is poly and prefers to have other partners. Now oddly enough I don’t as much mind the idea of her having intimacy with a friend but she wants more than that... to take it in to the area of love/being in love with someone else and it truly bothers me. I can't fully explain why though I have been meditating on it.

[snip]

Is there a… I hate to use the word sect of poly of people like me who have “The stallion mentality”

Emphasis mine. For reasons that will become clear shortly.

Community members chime in with their opinions and advice, surprisingly civilly considering that the "sect of poly" he may be looking for is most commonly found in fundamental Islam and LDS. Then, one member replies thusly:
I'm just going to say it...

Is your wife the Mare you wrote of before? Because, honestly, if your wife is a mare, really, well, that's quite different, IMO and it's fairly deceptive to come here and ask advice while leaving out a huge, major detail like that.

You see, [info]darkhorseman has a usericon that first led the community to believe he was a furry. Turns out, though, that according to posts he's made in other communities, he's a zoophile.

His "wife"? A horse.

To which the community says: Oh hell no.
[info]00goddess: Well, I have to say, that a)I do think you should see a professional counselor and b)what you are doing is not polyamory. Polyamory is, most loosely defined, consensual, ethical nonmonogamy. You are engaging in a nonconsensual sexual relationship; in effect, you are raping an animal. That is not polyamory. In fact, it is criminal as well as unethical.

[info]callmesilver: He does see a counseler. And thus the reason we never bring up the full truth of the situation, because it inevitably evolves into a damned flame war.

I've seen them together, and believe me when I say this... If she were not 'consenting', he'd be spending most of his time in the ER. Quite frankly, putting a mare in breeding hobbles with a stallion is more rape then anything he could possibly do. Consent takes many forms, is a deaf or mute person unable to consent? On a level of sheer body language, horses are much more clear in their intent then humans can ever be.

And so on, and so on. Eventually, [info]darkhorseman becomes overwhelmed with the community's negative -- but, again, amazingly civil -- response and baleets his post. More discussion in the baleetion-notification post about whether or not animals can consent to sex.

The ultimate wank, though, comes when [info]callmesilver, [info]darkhorseman's human lover, dresses the community down for their intolerance here (friendslocked but I believe the comm is open membership):
You have tossed around a bunch of he-said she-said bullshit and tried to make miserable someone who, honestly, came here looking for advice. Because of the fact that said person happens to love a horse as very much a member of our family. Fucking pathetic, if you ask me.

And to think any one of you claims to be openminded. To this, I say bullshit.

For those of you throwing around terminology like some hot-shot know-it-alls, yeah, we do love animals. To the extent of loving them in ways not necessarily deemed normal. Such as that I have raised an orphaned foal and consider her, though by no means biologically, my own daughter. I spent weeks living in a barn to be sure she'd survive. So am I therefore wrong because "she's an animal not your kid"? Nice to know. Because having an animal as a child isn't normal by most people's standards.

To extend this concept to romance, yes, it's possible to love someone romantically without having sex with them. God forbid, do you always think with your loins? Do you spend every waking minute of your seemingly pathetic lives slobbering all over everyone that you care about? Do you always fuck on the first date, too? Oh, and lemme guess, you live in a trailer park with Bubba and have three kids in diapers, right? Stereotypes work both ways you know.

[snip]

To those of you who stayed out of the flame war, you have my thanks. We were grateful for the honest opinions and ideas on how to make our situation work. And quite frankly, feel free to comment here. But I will NOT tolerate the flaming on my posts, period. You get snarky and try to throw apeshit at me and I'll delete it. End of discussion.

She makes good on her threat, and deletes several comments to her post, including one from the community's moderator telling her she's not allowed to delete comments. Bannination, naturally, ensues, and the snark, which is usually kept to an offshoot comm, is out in full force. And [info]darkhorseman says goodbye cruel internets, deleting his journal.

Anyone have any brain bleach handy?

ETA: Apparently, [info]callmesilver is now threatening to report [info]00goddess, the community's mod. Good luck with that one, hon.



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(Post a new comment)


[info]drakyndra
2007-01-07 11:10 am UTC (link)
Okay, this is the best wank in ages.

And now I'm going to show it to my horse-mad (no, not like that) housemate.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]drakyndra, 2007-01-07 11:37 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]slumber, 2007-01-07 03:26 pm UTC

[info]munchkinott
2007-01-07 11:21 am UTC (link)
Ok, that's my uni module on Equus NOT getting done this morning due to uncontrollable hysterical laughter.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]seiberwing, 2007-01-07 04:02 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]jerel, 2007-01-07 05:46 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]napalmnacey, 2007-01-07 06:02 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]munchkinott, 2007-01-07 06:39 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]chibikaijuu, 2007-01-07 09:53 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]paintobscura, 2007-01-08 05:40 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]pepperjackcandy, 2007-01-08 08:53 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]munchkinott, 2007-01-09 05:35 am UTC
gip!
[info]elysian
2007-01-07 11:35 am UTC (link)

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Re: gip! - [info]mydruthers, 2007-01-07 04:38 pm UTC

[info]puipui
2007-01-07 11:39 am UTC (link)
Okay, see, the thing that really gets me isn't so much that he's fucking the horse - I mean, hey, there was that one guy in Enumclaw, after all, and this is the internet, there's probably way worse than horse-fucking out there, and my god I cannot believe I just typed that, please give me a moment to cry - or even that he thinks he's married to the horse or that it somehow gave consent to this marriage, not to mention consent for him to screw other... things, because, y'know, there's some crazy people in the world, and obviously he's one of them, and at least he's not, I don't know, eating human flesh or something and now I have to stop to cry again, dammit, OH GOD WHY???

Okay, I'm back.

No, the thing that I keep getting hung up on, possibly as some sort of unconscious self-preservation thing to keep myself from dwelling on other things (in which case, hey, thanks brain!) is the girlfriend. I mean, the girlfriend's fucking this guy. This guy who fucks horses. She's fucking this guy after this guy fucks horses. She sees this guy and she thinks, "Gosh, that guy thinks he's married to a horse! And he has consummated that marriage! What a catch! I want him to take that dick that he puts in that horse and put it right in me! Yay!"

...Okay, yeah, I have to cry again now. A lot. Gee, thanks brain. ;_;

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]qatharsis, 2007-01-07 12:11 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]felinephoenix, 2007-01-07 12:51 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]napalmnacey, 2007-01-07 06:05 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]lottelita, 2007-01-07 06:46 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]rosehiptea, 2007-01-07 07:42 pm UTC

(Deleted post)
(no subject) - [info]rosehiptea, 2007-01-07 08:21 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]waterfront, 2007-01-07 08:47 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]rosehiptea, 2007-01-07 07:43 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]semirecluse, 2007-01-07 09:36 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]lottelita, 2007-01-07 09:37 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]semirecluse, 2007-01-08 12:36 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ladysphinx, 2007-01-08 03:39 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ninja_stripper, 2007-01-10 05:35 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]shallow_kid, 2007-01-07 06:49 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]notjo, 2007-01-07 08:08 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]bookbug87, 2007-01-08 05:22 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]gweniveeve, 2007-01-07 08:57 pm UTC
(no subject) - verthandi, 2007-01-07 10:39 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]bubosquared, 2007-01-08 03:45 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]puipui, 2007-01-08 07:47 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]bubosquared, 2007-01-09 09:51 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]puipui, 2007-01-09 10:52 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]bubosquared, 2007-01-10 10:50 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]puipui, 2007-01-10 11:07 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]bubosquared, 2007-01-10 11:53 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sistermagpie, 2007-01-08 07:31 pm UTC

[info]ladyrogue
2007-01-07 12:12 pm UTC (link)
I- what? ...what?

We're sorry. This brain is closed for maintenance. Please try again later.

(Reply to this)


[info]okalintu
2007-01-07 12:47 pm UTC (link)
Everything was fine until His "wife"? A horse. Then my brain broke, and now I want to scream and run for the hills.

(Reply to this)


[info]felinephoenix
2007-01-07 12:49 pm UTC (link)
I really thought mare was just some slang for "the chick who pops out the babies". I really did.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]esclaramonde, 2007-01-07 02:42 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]seiberwing, 2007-01-07 04:03 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]sabinelagrande, 2007-01-08 04:01 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]greenling, 2007-01-08 08:54 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sabinelagrande, 2007-01-08 08:55 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]wtf, 2007-01-07 10:19 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]daylightsparks, 2007-01-07 05:30 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]seppuku, 2007-01-07 06:22 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]pipssister, 2007-01-11 07:10 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]c, 2007-01-07 07:44 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]notjo, 2007-01-07 08:10 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]c, 2007-01-07 08:13 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]rosehiptea, 2007-01-07 07:46 pm UTC

[info]solle
2007-01-07 12:51 pm UTC (link)
I love you fandom_wank. I love you internets. I hate you brain for already knowing that guy.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]slumber, 2007-01-07 03:47 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]solle, 2007-01-07 03:51 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]slumber, 2007-01-07 03:53 pm UTC

[info]timeleft
2007-01-07 01:13 pm UTC (link)
His "wife"? A horse.

Oh BEST WANK EVAR!

(Reply to this)


[info]sabinelagrande
2007-01-07 01:19 pm UTC (link)
Fucking a horse is one thing.

Dating a guy who's married to a horse? That, my friends, is batshit insane.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]thebratqueen, 2007-01-07 05:50 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]napalmnacey, 2007-01-07 06:07 pm UTC

[info]zyna_kat
2007-01-07 01:58 pm UTC (link)
This is not real. It can't be real. I refuse to believe any of this is real.

(Reply to this)


[info]cjk
2007-01-07 02:25 pm UTC (link)
Mounting a stallion can often be fun

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]monsley, 2007-01-08 02:59 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]luthe, 2007-01-08 10:22 pm UTC

[info]rikiki
2007-01-07 02:37 pm UTC (link)
I've been laughing ever since I clicked the cut.

Is it a bad sign that the only emotion this really provokes in me is amusement?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]lottelita, 2007-01-07 07:19 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]prettypinkkitty, 2007-01-07 08:56 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]khym_chanur, 2007-01-07 09:39 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]dr_tristessa, 2007-01-07 10:22 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]eilisliana, 2007-01-08 01:42 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]cleolinda, 2007-01-08 02:01 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]catslash, 2007-01-08 03:39 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]plazmah, 2007-01-08 06:06 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]utahraptor, 2007-01-08 09:07 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ladysphinx, 2007-01-08 04:17 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]sewingmyfish, 2007-01-09 06:01 am UTC

[info]esclaramonde
2007-01-07 02:39 pm UTC (link)
Such as that I have raised an orphaned foal and consider her, though by no means biologically, my own daughter. I spent weeks living in a barn to be sure she'd survive. So am I therefore wrong because "she's an animal not your kid"? Nice to know. Because having an animal as a child isn't normal by most people's standards.

Because there aren't tons of people who refer to themselves as their pets' "parents", or people who have no children but center their lives around their dogs. And what about those mythical creatures, "farmers", who go to great lengths to make sure their animals stay alive?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]altoidsaddict, 2007-01-07 02:49 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]slumber, 2007-01-07 03:30 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]napalmnacey, 2007-01-07 06:09 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]ilpalazzo, 2007-01-07 09:31 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]napalmnacey, 2007-01-08 03:09 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]gweniveeve, 2007-01-07 09:00 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]katienichol, 2007-01-07 10:54 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]puipui, 2007-01-08 09:43 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]katienichol, 2007-01-09 03:33 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]puipui, 2007-01-09 03:42 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]pipssister, 2007-01-11 07:16 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]gweniveeve, 2007-01-07 09:00 pm UTC

[info]schuldig
2007-01-07 02:44 pm UTC (link)
I, for one, am cheered by the lack of dead kittens and brain-damaged children in this post. Rock on, horse-fuckers!

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]napalmnacey, 2007-01-07 06:10 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]onaga, 2007-01-07 08:45 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]dez_chan, 2007-01-07 10:05 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]the_crawford, 2007-01-07 11:01 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]penguinfaery, 2007-01-08 06:25 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]the_crawford, 2007-01-11 03:19 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]coyotegirl, 2007-01-08 03:07 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]taktuk, 2007-01-10 02:39 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]thekiwiwhoflew, 2007-01-08 08:17 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]rikiki, 2007-01-08 12:15 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]isa, 2007-01-08 11:11 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]luthe, 2007-01-08 10:24 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]isa, 2007-01-08 11:05 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]tangentialone, 2007-01-10 06:54 am UTC

[info]shadowkitty
2007-01-07 02:53 pm UTC (link)
I'm actually crying laughing. Is it me or do both [info]darkhorseman & [info]callmesilver have really, insanely appropriate usernames?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]napalmnacey, 2007-01-07 06:10 pm UTC

[info]spawn_of_kong
2007-01-07 03:01 pm UTC (link)
Uh, would any of you happen to have an extra brain on hand? I'm afraid I've broken mine.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]slumber, 2007-01-07 03:48 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]notjo, 2007-01-07 08:11 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]spawn_of_kong, 2007-01-07 08:36 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]gweniveeve, 2007-01-07 08:40 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]plazmah, 2007-01-08 06:07 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]cinnamonical, 2007-01-08 11:24 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]the_mouse, 2007-01-08 08:14 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]plazmah, 2007-01-08 10:38 pm UTC

[info]verpon
2007-01-07 03:20 pm UTC (link)
When I read the bit about him rolling his penis in oats, I thought about making some kind of yeast infection quip but really in the end I don't think this wank needs it.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]altoidsaddict, 2007-01-07 03:53 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]deadrose, 2007-01-11 12:22 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]altoidsaddict, 2007-01-11 12:23 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]entrenous88, 2007-01-07 03:54 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]influencethis, 2007-01-07 05:53 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]entrenous88, 2007-01-07 06:00 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]napalmnacey, 2007-01-07 06:12 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]ilpalazzo, 2007-01-07 09:32 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]lottelita, 2007-01-07 09:38 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]semirecluse, 2007-01-07 09:41 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]wankismyfandom, 2007-01-08 05:39 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]napalmnacey, 2007-01-08 03:09 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]rubywisp, 2007-01-08 08:07 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]rikiki, 2007-01-08 12:17 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]ilpalazzo, 2007-01-08 05:45 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]rubywisp, 2007-01-14 06:55 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]puipui, 2007-01-08 09:45 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]isa, 2007-01-08 11:12 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]waterfront, 2007-01-07 06:27 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]kami, 2007-01-08 04:36 am UTC

[info]big_bad_wolf
2007-01-07 04:02 pm UTC (link)
I JUST WHAT WORDS UNFH.

No, seriously, I can't stop laughing. And being totally freaked out. I am going out to get some booze, and then I am coming back, and I am going to spend ALL DAY LAUGHING AT THIS.

... why the hell would you date a man who fucks horses? WHY? WHY? DOES NOT COMPUTE.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]loopywafflehead, 2007-01-07 05:23 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]big_bad_wolf, 2007-01-07 05:36 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]loopywafflehead, 2007-01-07 05:40 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]isa, 2007-01-08 11:13 am UTC

[info]darknightjess
2007-01-07 04:09 pm UTC (link)
*bathes*


*lots*


Oh dear god...


ICK!!!


That makes ANYTHING in ANY comm ANYFUCKINGWHERE that even sniffs of wank.. just .. pointless..


ew

(Reply to this)


[info]coffee_mug
2007-01-07 04:11 pm UTC (link)
My first thought; Wow, "stallion syndrome"? I call it double standards, asshat.

My second thought; .......HOLY FUCKING SHIT FURRY HORSE RAPIST.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]loopywafflehead, 2007-01-07 05:25 pm UTC

[info]lexin
2007-01-07 04:18 pm UTC (link)
My brain died. I really wasn't expecting him to turn out to be serious about the wife=horse part. I just thought he was being rude about his wife to the point that he needed a kick in the knackers.

(Reply to this)


[info]oxydosic
2007-01-07 04:20 pm UTC (link)
And after I saw that horse breeding episode of Dirty Jobs the other day...

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]hallidae, 2007-01-07 04:43 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]oxydosic, 2007-01-07 05:43 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]hallidae, 2007-01-07 05:47 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]shutthef_up, 2007-01-08 06:04 am UTC

[info]polygamouse
2007-01-07 04:39 pm UTC (link)
I have an overwhelming urge to send this to Louis Black with a note that says "No, this is what causes aneurisms."

(Reply to this)


[info]chili_power
2007-01-07 04:42 pm UTC (link)
*posts this to traumatize all poly people on her friendslist*

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]grrliz, 2007-01-07 09:03 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]chili_power, 2007-01-07 10:00 pm UTC



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