Dear Ashley,

You cannot 'turn' someone gay, except with excessive reconditioning and psychological/possibly physical torture. Because, y'know, it's much easier to change something that deep-set when you've completely broken the person. And look, he'll be the perfect uke for you!

Dear Ashley,

~~Long hair that is taken care of does not make a man gay. It may make him an SCAer or a roleplayer, if you go by the guys with long hair that I know~~

Dear Ashley,

You seem to be labouring under the misconception that you are prettier than you are and obviously charming, and that the fault lies in the men you know that you cannot get a boyfriend. Perhaps you should consider the common denominator?

Ashley,

STFU.

No love,
Abby, who is a girl what likes video games.