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Gun o' the Pants ([info]gun) wrote in [info]otf_wank,
@ 2007-01-19 08:41:00


Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
"HEY, FUK U GUYS! I'M TTLY ACADEMICAL!"
I always like it when I see behaviour reminiscent of idiotic fanfic brats in actual academic circles. Much love to the mice at [info]lol_meme, who brought this to my attention.

[info]brennakimi posts her SOP to the LJ community [info]applyingtograd for feedback from other members. (If you're in the mood for something utterly banal or in any way reminiscent of Billy Madison's anecdote about "The Puppy That Lost It's Way", I suggest you read it and try and take a stab in the dark about what she intends to study.)

However, she does not get the praise and "ZOMG THAT WUS RLY GOOD RITE MOR!" feedback she had been expecting.

Anan_b: I don't like your usage of quotations. Shoot, I just don't like seeing quotations in papers. It makes me think that my students are too lazy to think about how to say what they want in their own words. When I was an undergrad, nearly every professor of mine adhered to that same position. Are these papers published? If so, just put them on your vita and don't worry about stating their names in the SOP. It puts a big ebb to the flow of your writing. Describe your interests rather than list the title of some papers you've written.

Windsweptvoid: Alright, I still have no idea what the point of that star story is... what does it mean? I don't understand how that embodies your goals... apparently it is signifcant to you but you're not telling anyone why... If you want to keep it, you'll really have to find a way to make its relevence obvious.

Bighark: If you want to present yourself as a poor writer, proceed. If you want to look like someone capable of graduate work, write a better SOP.

Naturally, she lets everyone know that all their ideas are kinda ghey, which sets off ANOTHER WANK in which [info]sirgrunwald (who is actually [info]brennakimi's boyf, trufax) informs us that people upset about using "gay" as an insult are idiots, because "political correctness is bullshit".

To complete it all in true entitled fanfic brat style, [info]brennakimi informs us that she's not going to update her WIP, "Hermione Granger and the Summer Makeover" going to take her SOP and find people who are HELPFUL AND NICE AND NOT AT ALL MEAN.


ETA: ONOZ DELETED

D:



But the ever-wonderful [info]julian_black and [info]bartle_by have screencaps for us. Bless their little cotton socks.

The main wank

[info]sirgrunwald shares his thoughts on yaoi

Side-thread

From [info]snarkivist, the main wank with a couple of threads open



Page 1 of 3
<<[1] [2] [3] >>

(Post a new comment)


[info]antigone
2007-01-18 11:44 pm UTC (link)
That essay is really ungood.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]gun, 2007-01-18 11:48 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]antigone, 2007-01-18 11:56 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]kadath, 2007-01-18 11:57 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]gal_montag, 2007-01-19 03:55 am UTC

[info]kadath
2007-01-18 11:49 pm UTC (link)
That essay is really...not so good.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]kadath, 2007-01-18 11:50 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]sashenka, 2007-01-19 01:58 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]catslash, 2007-01-19 05:00 am UTC

[info]southernbangel
2007-01-18 11:50 pm UTC (link)
also, try to respond to the appropriate post.

I love it when the OP gets bitchy and snide.

(Reply to this)


[info]southernbangel
2007-01-18 11:57 pm UTC (link)
This thread just makes me want to punch [info]sirgrunwald in the face. Stop being such a dick just because some people critiqued your girlfriend's SOP when, hey, SHE ASKED THEM TO.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]lizzypaul, 2007-01-19 12:12 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]gun, 2007-01-19 12:20 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]jrs1980, 2007-01-19 12:51 am UTC

[info]jetwolf
2007-01-19 12:00 am UTC (link)
Oh, I hate not knowing things, but what the heck does SOP stand for? I keep reading it as "Standard Operating Procedure", which seems both bizarre and incorrect.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]eilan, 2007-01-19 12:01 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]jetwolf, 2007-01-19 12:03 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]pokecheck, 2007-01-19 12:42 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]tez, 2007-01-19 12:45 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]pokecheck, 2007-01-19 02:10 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]gunshou, 2007-01-19 02:59 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]gunshou, 2007-01-19 02:59 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]singe, 2007-01-20 10:57 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2007-01-19 09:59 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]squib, 2007-01-19 02:56 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]napalmnacey, 2007-01-19 02:23 pm UTC

[info]eilan
2007-01-19 12:01 am UTC (link)
Oh my God, they are a couple...

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]altoidsaddict, 2007-01-19 12:12 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]jetwolf, 2007-01-19 12:53 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]tez, 2007-01-19 01:00 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]onaga, 2007-01-19 02:20 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2007-01-19 07:08 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]hallidae, 2007-01-19 10:45 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2007-01-20 09:41 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2007-01-20 11:18 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]miss_arel, 2007-01-21 07:32 am UTC
Now that I've read the SOP...
[info]altoidsaddict
2007-01-19 12:24 am UTC (link)
Well.

Good luck at the artificial flower factory!

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Re: Now that I've read the SOP... - [info]pepperlandgirl4, 2007-01-19 01:11 am UTC
Re: Now that I've read the SOP... - [info]altoidsaddict, 2007-01-19 01:33 am UTC
Re: Now that I've read the SOP... - [info]pepperlandgirl4, 2007-01-19 01:34 am UTC
Re: Now that I've read the SOP... - [info]deerlike, 2007-01-21 07:59 am UTC
Re: Now that I've read the SOP... - [info]altoidsaddict, 2007-01-21 07:59 am UTC
Re: Now that I've read the SOP... - [info]deerlike, 2007-01-21 08:02 am UTC

[info]mummimamma
2007-01-19 12:31 am UTC (link)
Huh, she seems to have posted about this before. Personally I'm with the commenter who thinks she wants to study astrology.

Kill your darlings. Best advice I ever got.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]thekiwiwhoflew, 2007-01-19 12:43 am UTC

[info]thesilentsenshi
2007-01-19 12:32 am UTC (link)
ROFL!
It was not the brightest star, but it seemed to have a more stable, persistent light. One night as I was watching this star, it seemed to twinkle a little bit differently and then its light disappeared.

Kind of like the disenchanted wankers and fanbrats who go "ZOMG! U SUK! IL NEVA RITE AGAN!" and delete their comments/posts/journals.

It's pretty, but doesn't belong in a SOP.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]some_dude, 2007-01-19 07:04 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]thesilentsenshi, 2007-01-20 01:20 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]antigone, 2007-01-19 06:20 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]hristaesir, 2007-01-19 10:56 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]thesilentsenshi, 2007-01-19 11:40 pm UTC

[info]tez
2007-01-19 12:50 am UTC (link)
Ahem ahem. *singsongy voice*

Preachy, preachy little star
Writing that's not up to par
Pointless, bland, and cliche too
All the staff will laugh at you
Preachy, preachy little star
Writing that's not up to par

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]demonbean, 2007-01-19 12:56 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]altoidsaddict, 2007-01-19 01:06 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]hallidae, 2007-01-19 01:31 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]semirecluse, 2007-01-19 02:15 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2007-01-19 08:13 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]itsirtou, 2007-01-19 08:37 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2007-01-20 03:58 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]dragonfangirl, 2007-01-19 05:20 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]caoilte, 2007-01-20 04:10 pm UTC

[info]puipui
2007-01-19 12:50 am UTC (link)
Learning is my first and greatest love.

And yet you neglect it. So sad.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]onaga, 2007-01-19 05:05 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]doc_lydgate, 2007-01-19 06:53 pm UTC

[info]demonbean
2007-01-19 12:51 am UTC (link)
No, you believe they're a lesser person because they said it due to the fact that you think you're a better person because you hold yourself "above" it.

And we wonder why Middle America hates the liberal coasts.


I feel like that was supposed to be a Logic Bomb. N.B., please, children: confusing =/= smart. Being "above" calling someone "ghey" because they called you ghey because you're above calling them ghey is ... aw, hell. My brain is melting.

i'm a good fit for them because i want to be there. i'm not applying anywhere else. that's it.

Obviously, the world should give you what you want, because it's what you want! Yay!

(Reply to this)


iwanttobeasleep
2007-01-19 12:55 am UTC (link)
Screw the wank, do college professors really frown upon quoting people in your essays? I was under the impression that since every essay I wrote in high school needed at least two quotes, it would also be encouraged in college. Was I wrong? Why did no one tell me that? *goes off to a corner to freak out about what else she unwittingly might be doing that her teachers frown upon*

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]nekoneko, 2007-01-19 12:58 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sequinedlizard, 2007-01-19 12:59 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]pepperlandgirl4, 2007-01-19 01:15 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ayezur, 2007-01-19 04:26 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]pepperlandgirl4, 2007-01-19 04:28 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]digigirl132, 2007-01-19 04:45 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]caoilte, 2007-01-20 04:14 pm UTC
(no subject) - dracothelizard, 2007-01-19 01:29 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]lottelita, 2007-01-19 01:50 am UTC
(no subject) - dracothelizard, 2007-01-19 01:51 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]slavekitty, 2007-01-19 01:50 am UTC
(no subject) - dracothelizard, 2007-01-19 01:52 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]some_dude, 2007-01-19 07:09 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]aposiopetic, 2007-01-19 07:53 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]exdee, 2007-01-19 02:52 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]hallidae, 2007-01-19 01:33 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]anonyrat, 2007-01-19 01:47 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]apoplexia, 2007-01-20 12:28 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]vigilanterodent, 2007-01-19 02:07 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]onaga, 2007-01-19 02:40 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]gunshou, 2007-01-19 03:27 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]rachelmap, 2007-01-19 03:55 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]gunshou, 2007-01-19 04:39 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]julian_black, 2007-01-19 04:00 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]froda_baggins, 2007-01-19 04:04 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]jat_sapphire, 2007-01-19 05:55 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]jat_sapphire, 2007-01-19 05:56 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]eilan, 2007-01-19 09:18 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]aristaea, 2007-01-19 04:39 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]lycoris, 2007-01-19 05:25 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]whimsy_chan, 2007-01-19 06:26 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]doc_lydgate, 2007-01-19 07:17 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]heddychaa, 2007-01-19 09:15 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]apoplexia, 2007-01-20 12:34 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]doc_lydgate, 2007-01-20 04:50 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]doc_lydgate, 2007-01-20 04:52 am UTC

[info]sequinedlizard
2007-01-19 12:56 am UTC (link)
THAT'S supposed to be a SOP for a PhD program? The hell? Dear god. PLEASE let her be competing against me in anything that involves writing.

(Reply to this)


[info]thekiwiwhoflew
2007-01-19 12:59 am UTC (link)
Okay folks, this ALONE should give us a look into the mindset of the person we're dealing with.

http://community.livejournal.com/applyingtograd/2171695.html?thread=21367343#t21367343

Because, really? JayZ lyrics belong nowhere if not an SOP.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]sequinedlizard, 2007-01-19 01:01 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]thekiwiwhoflew, 2007-01-19 01:02 am UTC
(no subject) - dracothelizard, 2007-01-19 01:42 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]lillyv, 2007-01-19 04:26 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]thekiwiwhoflew, 2007-01-19 04:55 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]lillyv, 2007-01-19 05:01 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]thekiwiwhoflew, 2007-01-19 05:29 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]deconcentrate, 2007-01-19 09:31 pm UTC

[info]seiberwing
2007-01-19 01:19 am UTC (link)
Just...what did the stars have to do with anything? That's sucky for a college application, never mind a PhD.

(Reply to this)


[info]luthe
2007-01-19 01:27 am UTC (link)
Translation of the story about the star:

I'm not the brightest star in the sky. I try hard to RITE REEL GUD, but I suck at it. However, I'm a speshul snowflake, so if y'all don't love me I'll kill myself leave this community forever!!!1!!

(Reply to this)


[info]shakeandbake
2007-01-19 01:31 am UTC (link)
From her first wanky post:

i asked for suggestions. i didn't ask someone to tell me that i will not end injustice. of course, i didn't say that i would, i simply said that that is the aim of my research. some people seek to put a woman in the white house. i seek to end genocide. maybe i can't, but we all stand on the backs of giants and all social and political research builds towards solutions.

To dream...the impossible dream!

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - dracothelizard, 2007-01-19 01:32 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]semirecluse, 2007-01-19 02:21 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]blue_penguin, 2007-01-19 06:57 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]white_serpent, 2007-01-19 11:05 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]marciamarcia, 2007-01-19 01:46 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]pokecheck, 2007-01-19 02:12 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]pet, 2007-01-19 09:40 pm UTC

dracothelizard
2007-01-19 01:31 am UTC (link)
I love how someone posts a link to really rather helpful 'what not to do' article, and the OP mentions she read it and then proceeds to do everything the article says NOT to do.

(Reply to this)


[info]grrliz
2007-01-19 01:32 am UTC (link)
.... so not knowing what that community was about and having only read the first paragraph, I initially thought it was a place where you post essays you have to write for your college applications and have other people look over them. Not graduate school apps, mind, the regular straight-out-of-high-school kind, because I was pretty sure this person was about sixteen at most.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]lottelita, 2007-01-19 01:52 am UTC

[info]lottelita
2007-01-19 01:37 am UTC (link)
When I was in the seventh grade, I discovered and began nightly to watch a star in the Western sky which twinkled ever so distinctly. It was not the brightest star, but it seemed to have a more stable, persistent light.

Well, it was nice of her to save the admissions committee time.

REJECTED.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]demonbean, 2007-01-19 02:03 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]pointandlaugh, 2007-01-19 02:54 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]demonbean, 2007-01-19 05:17 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]blue_penguin, 2007-01-19 07:00 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mary_mac, 2007-01-19 12:41 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]vigilanterodent, 2007-01-19 02:10 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]puipui, 2007-01-19 02:35 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]kahrohseh, 2007-01-19 09:44 am UTC

[info]slavekitty
2007-01-19 01:52 am UTC (link)
You mean she's applying to a PhD program? She's gotta be Pol.Sci. or Criminal Justice, but it's scary to think that those writing skills have taken her that far. Suddenly I don't feel so bad about the state U. I went to.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2007-01-19 07:59 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]slavekitty, 2007-01-19 02:15 pm UTC

[info]daylightsparks
2007-01-19 02:17 am UTC (link)
No one else had seemed to notice and I never heard anything about a star's light going out, but that single event made an impact on my life and embodies my goals.

My metaphor is pastede on yey!

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - magpiggles, 2007-01-19 02:06 pm UTC
(no subject) - coreopsis, 2007-01-19 03:18 pm UTC
(no subject) - magpiggles, 2007-01-19 05:23 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2007-01-20 04:13 am UTC

[info]llama_treats
2007-01-19 02:26 am UTC (link)
So, in a nutshell, she wants to seek justice for stars that burn out...? I see an application to The Cochran Firm in her future.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]apoplexia, 2007-01-20 12:36 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]llama_treats, 2007-01-20 01:35 am UTC

(Anonymous)
2007-01-19 02:26 am UTC (link)
See, this is funny. It's just nowhere NEAR as funny as the indian-obgyn/racism lol_meme wanksplosion.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]apoplexia, 2007-01-20 12:36 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]gun, 2007-01-20 02:59 am UTC


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