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Gun o' the Pants ([info]gun) wrote in [info]otf_wank,
@ 2007-01-19 08:41:00


Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
"HEY, FUK U GUYS! I'M TTLY ACADEMICAL!"
I always like it when I see behaviour reminiscent of idiotic fanfic brats in actual academic circles. Much love to the mice at [info]lol_meme, who brought this to my attention.

[info]brennakimi posts her SOP to the LJ community [info]applyingtograd for feedback from other members. (If you're in the mood for something utterly banal or in any way reminiscent of Billy Madison's anecdote about "The Puppy That Lost It's Way", I suggest you read it and try and take a stab in the dark about what she intends to study.)

However, she does not get the praise and "ZOMG THAT WUS RLY GOOD RITE MOR!" feedback she had been expecting.

Anan_b: I don't like your usage of quotations. Shoot, I just don't like seeing quotations in papers. It makes me think that my students are too lazy to think about how to say what they want in their own words. When I was an undergrad, nearly every professor of mine adhered to that same position. Are these papers published? If so, just put them on your vita and don't worry about stating their names in the SOP. It puts a big ebb to the flow of your writing. Describe your interests rather than list the title of some papers you've written.

Windsweptvoid: Alright, I still have no idea what the point of that star story is... what does it mean? I don't understand how that embodies your goals... apparently it is signifcant to you but you're not telling anyone why... If you want to keep it, you'll really have to find a way to make its relevence obvious.

Bighark: If you want to present yourself as a poor writer, proceed. If you want to look like someone capable of graduate work, write a better SOP.

Naturally, she lets everyone know that all their ideas are kinda ghey, which sets off ANOTHER WANK in which [info]sirgrunwald (who is actually [info]brennakimi's boyf, trufax) informs us that people upset about using "gay" as an insult are idiots, because "political correctness is bullshit".

To complete it all in true entitled fanfic brat style, [info]brennakimi informs us that she's not going to update her WIP, "Hermione Granger and the Summer Makeover" going to take her SOP and find people who are HELPFUL AND NICE AND NOT AT ALL MEAN.


ETA: ONOZ DELETED

D:



But the ever-wonderful [info]julian_black and [info]bartle_by have screencaps for us. Bless their little cotton socks.

The main wank

[info]sirgrunwald shares his thoughts on yaoi

Side-thread

From [info]snarkivist, the main wank with a couple of threads open



Page 2 of 3
<<[1] [2] [3] >>

(Post a new comment)


[info]julian_black
2007-01-19 02:36 am UTC (link)
I applaud [info]bighark for trying to bring on the Tough Love, even though it's clearly a lost cause.

Between the sad, droopy sofa in her icon and the persistent refusal to use the Shift key, I keep "hearing" all of [info]brennakimi's posts in a gloomy, dreary, Eeeyore kind of voice. It's bizarre, seeing someone who is such a self-pitying downer of a person, but is still determined to save the world.

Word to [info]brennakimi: before you can save the world, you need to save yourself. In the meantime, submit your essay as-is, because clearly you know more than anyone else, and none of those mean people at [info]applyingtograd are going to give you the feedback you're fishing for. Then, when you get turned down, you'll have an even better reason to be all po'faced and whiny.

And if [info]sirgrunwald has any interest in becoming an academic or staying in academia, it would behoove him to quit making accusations of "politically correctness" in a knee-jerk attempt to shut down other peoples' arguments.

What a couple--the petulant and the pompous. They're made for each other, I tell you!

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]daylightsparks, 2007-01-19 03:08 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2007-01-19 04:29 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]napalmnacey, 2007-01-19 02:30 pm UTC

[info]ladyvorkosigan
2007-01-19 02:38 am UTC (link)
The only good thing about [info]applyingtograd is that it makes [info]law_students seem reasonable, articulate, and unneurotic, and thus affirms my chosen profession. And god knows, I need all the affirmation I can get.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2007-01-19 01:44 pm UTC

[info]mmanurere
2007-01-19 02:38 am UTC (link)
Why can't she be in my field? I'd love to have that kind of competition for grad-school admissions.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]heddychaa, 2007-01-19 09:00 pm UTC

[info]also_not_a_pipe
2007-01-19 02:44 am UTC (link)
Know what would be hilarious? If her star was, like, a light on a radio tower or something.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]julian_black, 2007-01-19 03:46 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]esclaramonde, 2007-01-19 03:56 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]antigone, 2007-01-19 06:22 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]vigilanterodent, 2007-01-19 09:13 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]doc_lydgate, 2007-01-19 10:05 pm UTC

[info]theblackscorpio
2007-01-19 02:48 am UTC (link)
Shit, amn, two wanks in one. Today is my lucky day :D

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2007-01-19 10:07 am UTC

[info]an_igor
2007-01-19 02:51 am UTC (link)
Geesh, join the Peace Corps or something.

(Reply to this)


[info]herongale
2007-01-19 02:53 am UTC (link)
I have more questions about that star of hers that fizzled out. I doubt it was a supernova, so did it just stop twinkling because of changed weather conditions? Did she not realize that the stars are circumpolar and rise and set in their own way, just like the sun and moon do, and lost track of it as it gradually shifted it's starting point as the seasons changed? Did it go supernova through some crazy freak coincidence?

I refuse to accept her star story until she clarifies these details. In fact, I think she should abandon talk of her actual major in her SOP altogether and straighten this issue out. It's too important to be left to the capricious shoulders of giants.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2007-01-19 04:03 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]kadath, 2007-01-19 04:07 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ladyvorkosigan, 2007-01-19 04:09 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]zinkchan, 2007-01-19 08:17 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]kahrohseh, 2007-01-19 09:50 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]caffeine_fairy, 2007-01-19 11:02 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]seiberwing, 2007-01-19 06:56 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]itsirtou, 2007-01-19 08:40 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]tehrin, 2007-01-19 10:40 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]tetsuki, 2007-01-20 05:01 am UTC

[info]fourthage
2007-01-19 03:01 am UTC (link)
i want to express to them is that i still have an imagination despite public school

What the hell. Actually, that whole paragraph is one big what a unique snowflake am I.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]lottelita, 2007-01-19 04:05 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]eilan, 2007-01-19 09:23 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]exdee, 2007-01-19 02:48 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]lillyv, 2007-01-19 04:20 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]heddychaa, 2007-01-19 09:02 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]miss_arel, 2007-01-21 07:59 am UTC

[info]gal_montag
2007-01-19 03:53 am UTC (link)
When I was in the seventh grade, I discovered and began nightly to watch a star in the Western sky which twinkled ever so distinctly. It was not the brightest star, but it seemed to have a more stable, persistent light. One night as I was watching this star, it seemed to twinkle a little bit differently and then its light disappeared. No one else had seemed to notice and I never heard anything about a star's light going out, but that single event made an impact on my life and embodies my goals.

Okay, I read The DaVinci Code and Angels and Demons back to back and I got this far in her essay before I went so fucking what? And were I the person reading essays, this one would have been binned.

Get over it people. Political Correctness is bullshit.

And I am so fucking tired of asshats who think that people should accept that they're assholes and get over it and don't accept that their inability to accept that using "gay" in a derisive way not only makes them an asshole but also a colossal bigot. It's just fucking beyond me.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]caffeine_fairy, 2007-01-19 11:03 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]onaga, 2007-01-19 03:19 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2007-01-20 05:05 am UTC

[info]tetsuki
2007-01-19 03:56 am UTC (link)
Aw, shit. Bahleeted! Just as I was watching sirgrunwald fap all over the place. :(

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]arabel, 2007-01-19 03:59 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]theblackscorpio, 2007-01-19 12:35 pm UTC

[info]gal_montag
2007-01-19 04:08 am UTC (link)
PS - Baleeted.

However, here is [info]sirgrunwald's ass hattery. And Here's another random thread that I was reading before the baleetion.

With apologies for the ads, if someone has a better space to host those, they're welcome to do so.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]mmanurere, 2007-01-19 04:22 am UTC

[info]julian_black
2007-01-19 04:09 am UTC (link)
Fortunately, I still had a subthread open in one tab, so I managed to save the original post and a small sliver of wank.

(Reply to this)

I SAVED THE POST
(Anonymous)
2007-01-19 04:21 am UTC (link)
anonymouse, [Unknown LJ tag] on eljay. I had the post open and saved it.

http://www.colbertsheroes.org/applyingtowank/

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Re: I SAVED THE POST - (Anonymous), 2007-01-19 04:22 am UTC

[info]annaham
2007-01-19 04:27 am UTC (link)
Someone has to change the world. Why not me?

Because you're a horrible writer?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]apoplexia, 2007-01-20 12:24 am UTC

[info]mydemand
2007-01-19 04:33 am UTC (link)
I took the same position as Anan_b in my first university. Emphasized my own ideas and analysis (which was what the assignment specified!!) and referencing what I was taking from others. I got accused of plagiarism - "oh, there's no reference between pages 2 and 7! That is risky!"

Idiots.

(Reply to this)

This is what I heard the first time.
[info]t_boy
2007-01-19 04:35 am UTC (link)
Fuku Guys?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Re: This is what I heard the first time. - [info]flowerstar, 2007-01-19 01:14 pm UTC

[info]skewed_tartan
2007-01-19 04:45 am UTC (link)
You know I can in no way pretend to be an academic but even I would have written "REJECTED" on that essay by the first paragraph because what in the hell does the star have to do with ANYTHING?!

Stars=/=stopping genocide, sorry.

(Reply to this)


[info]sisterelwood
2007-01-19 05:14 am UTC (link)
That is a horrible essay. I'm fairly sure I can write something better than that blind, stinking drunk and high. I think it's hilarious how she's telling people who actually work in admissions that they don't know what they're talking about. It's really quite cute.

(Reply to this)


[info]pyrrah
2007-01-19 05:25 am UTC (link)
I'm the laziest grad student in the history of academia, I admit. However, that essay made me feel better about my own work :/

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2007-01-19 06:39 am UTC

(Anonymous)
2007-01-19 06:11 am UTC (link)
Leaving aside the godawful subject matter of her essay (the little star that twinkled ever so brightLY, thank you very much), is she applying to PhD programs directly from 7th grade? Because I think I used language like this in a short story I wrote in 6th, of which I am now justifiably ashamed.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2007-01-19 06:12 am UTC

[info]blue_penguin
2007-01-19 06:42 am UTC (link)
I just... I can't get over the fact that she's a graduate student, and her SOP reminds me of the papers I edited for students in Freshman English. How on earth did she get her masters if that's how she writes?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]rachelmap, 2007-01-19 07:05 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]blue_penguin, 2007-01-19 07:08 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]rachelmap, 2007-01-19 09:39 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2007-01-19 09:51 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]hallidae, 2007-01-19 10:43 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]rachelmap, 2007-01-19 11:14 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]hallidae, 2007-01-19 03:06 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]mary_mac, 2007-01-19 12:51 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]rachelmap, 2007-01-19 02:17 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]mary_mac, 2007-01-19 05:15 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]luthe, 2007-01-20 12:34 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]rachelmap, 2007-01-20 12:58 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]luthe, 2007-01-20 01:15 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]rachelmap, 2007-01-20 01:39 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]jerel, 2007-01-20 04:41 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]rachelmap, 2007-01-20 07:11 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]forevagreeneart, 2007-01-21 02:40 am UTC
(no subject) - dracothelizard, 2007-01-19 03:55 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]rachelmap, 2007-01-19 06:40 pm UTC
(no subject) - dracothelizard, 2007-01-19 06:50 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]vigilanterodent, 2007-01-19 09:22 pm UTC
(no subject) - dracothelizard, 2007-01-19 10:17 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]rachelmap, 2007-01-20 01:22 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]rachel_pi, 2007-01-21 07:23 am UTC
(no subject) - dracothelizard, 2007-01-21 04:53 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]papervolcano, 2007-01-19 06:55 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]rachelmap, 2007-01-20 01:43 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]papervolcano, 2007-01-20 06:34 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]rachelmap, 2007-01-20 07:30 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]blue_penguin, 2007-01-19 07:13 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]castalianspring, 2007-01-19 08:57 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]rachelmap, 2007-01-20 01:51 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]doc_lydgate, 2007-01-20 05:15 am UTC

(Anonymous)
2007-01-19 06:55 am UTC (link)
You know, I could maybe see this on an application to one of those schools where you train to be a medical assistant "in no time at all!". But for a graduate program?! Suuuuure.

--ljuser peaseblossom03, who trained to be a lazy-ass blogger in no time at all.

(Reply to this)


[info]hyaenid
2007-01-19 07:09 am UTC (link)
No way is she applying for graduate school. This reads like a bad undergrad app essay --

-Story from childhood and How It Affected Me
*bonus points if it's death, sadness, or something that creates a Burning Drive to Succeed
-Why I think your school is awesome
*points taken straight out of the info packet
-something something to Grow as a Person and Achieve my Goals.
*carefully vagued up so that you can CP it into the rest of your apps

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]hyaenid, 2007-01-19 07:10 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]kahrohseh, 2007-01-19 10:00 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]thekiwiwhoflew, 2007-01-19 09:03 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2007-01-19 10:12 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]rachel_pi, 2007-01-21 07:16 am UTC

[info]warrioreowyn
2007-01-19 07:19 am UTC (link)
Yeesh. I'm in second-year university and I could write a better application than that. How much time did she take over it - half an hour?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]napalmnacey, 2007-01-19 06:16 pm UTC

[info]hallidae
2007-01-19 07:55 am UTC (link)
I feel so much better about this SOP I'm having to write for Advanced Figure. At least I have the problem of trying to figure out how to stretch five sentences into two pages, rather than trying to cram inane childhood stories and speshul snowflakeness into a 500 word essay.

(Reply to this)



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