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Gun o' the Pants ([info]gun) wrote in [info]otf_wank,
@ 2007-01-19 08:41:00


Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
"HEY, FUK U GUYS! I'M TTLY ACADEMICAL!"
I always like it when I see behaviour reminiscent of idiotic fanfic brats in actual academic circles. Much love to the mice at [info]lol_meme, who brought this to my attention.

[info]brennakimi posts her SOP to the LJ community [info]applyingtograd for feedback from other members. (If you're in the mood for something utterly banal or in any way reminiscent of Billy Madison's anecdote about "The Puppy That Lost It's Way", I suggest you read it and try and take a stab in the dark about what she intends to study.)

However, she does not get the praise and "ZOMG THAT WUS RLY GOOD RITE MOR!" feedback she had been expecting.

Anan_b: I don't like your usage of quotations. Shoot, I just don't like seeing quotations in papers. It makes me think that my students are too lazy to think about how to say what they want in their own words. When I was an undergrad, nearly every professor of mine adhered to that same position. Are these papers published? If so, just put them on your vita and don't worry about stating their names in the SOP. It puts a big ebb to the flow of your writing. Describe your interests rather than list the title of some papers you've written.

Windsweptvoid: Alright, I still have no idea what the point of that star story is... what does it mean? I don't understand how that embodies your goals... apparently it is signifcant to you but you're not telling anyone why... If you want to keep it, you'll really have to find a way to make its relevence obvious.

Bighark: If you want to present yourself as a poor writer, proceed. If you want to look like someone capable of graduate work, write a better SOP.

Naturally, she lets everyone know that all their ideas are kinda ghey, which sets off ANOTHER WANK in which [info]sirgrunwald (who is actually [info]brennakimi's boyf, trufax) informs us that people upset about using "gay" as an insult are idiots, because "political correctness is bullshit".

To complete it all in true entitled fanfic brat style, [info]brennakimi informs us that she's not going to update her WIP, "Hermione Granger and the Summer Makeover" going to take her SOP and find people who are HELPFUL AND NICE AND NOT AT ALL MEAN.


ETA: ONOZ DELETED

D:



But the ever-wonderful [info]julian_black and [info]bartle_by have screencaps for us. Bless their little cotton socks.

The main wank

[info]sirgrunwald shares his thoughts on yaoi

Side-thread

From [info]snarkivist, the main wank with a couple of threads open



Page 3 of 3
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(Post a new comment)


[info]zinkchan
2007-01-19 08:21 am UTC (link)
Personally, I'm saying that the star story is fake. She's probably using it because she probably thinks that the SOP is like an undergraduate admissions essay and she used the exact same story in her undergrad essay and was accepted, so she thinks that it'll work again this time.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]kahrohseh
2007-01-19 10:03 am UTC (link)
I'm starting to suspect her whole academic career is fake. And will continue along this line of thinking until she can produce some hard astronomy on that stargazing.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]zinkchan, 2007-01-19 11:14 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]kahrohseh, 2007-01-19 05:40 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]aristaea, 2007-01-19 05:34 pm UTC

[info]sisterelwood
2007-01-19 07:24 pm UTC (link)
Man, I know my essay for college admission wasn't that bad. I want to know the college where that kind of crap will get you in.

Then again... no, I don't want to know because it will hurt- a lot.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


(Anonymous)
2007-01-19 01:47 pm UTC (link)
This wank actually gave me the impulse to suck it up and finish my last grad school application.

But fuck applying_to_grad. It's as bad as those parenting communities that make you feel like a failure if you haven't done everything they say. My SOP didn't suck, but yeah, I sent things in towards the end of deadlines b/c I just didn't have time this semester. Also, I haven't really talked to faculty, because I feel awkward about 'hay I am applying and sending you a token email'. (Though I suppose I really should.) Does this mean I am TEH DOOMED? F that S.

-M "bitch bitch bitch" ouse

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]julian_black
2007-01-20 02:42 am UTC (link)
Long ago, when I was getting ready to apply to grad school, I joined [info]applyingtograd.

I got much better advice on applying to grad school from two sources: my undergrad professors, and Robert Peters' Getting What You Came For. Since I was applying to history programs, I also checked the American Historical Association's website to see if they had any advice or resources I could use. They did--and so do most other academic organizations.

What [info]applyingtograd was good for was the chance to watch other people work themselves into a frenzy over the application process because they 1) couldn't do a basic Google search for information; 2) had no idea how to actually approach or talk to their undergrad professors; and 3) were getting completely freaked out over minor details of their applications. A lot of people there were sterling examples of How Not to Apply to Grad School, which made me feel a lot better about my own application and chances of getting admitted to my preferred program.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2007-01-20 09:15 am UTC

(Anonymous)
2007-01-21 03:43 am UTC (link)
Late to the game, but I feel exactly the same. The only thing applyingtograd did for me was to set such impossibly high standards, I made a few people laugh (nicely) as I tried to meet them. For example, I read there that one must create a chart with all sorts of relevent information for your LOR writers, and give it to them with stamped, addressed envelopes. I did that, and one of my profs wrote back and said "Wow! You're the most organized applicant I've ever seen!" (I'm totally not organized, but I didn't mind him thinking so.) So, if nothing else, it's obvious that a lot of applicants aren't reading that community.

(And I'm really late on everything and I have the most boring, pedestrian, striking-story-from-my-childhood-less SOP ever.)

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]rachel_pi
2007-01-21 07:25 am UTC (link)
I express mailed my application at absolutely the last minute, didn't e-mail faculty (because I didn't have anything to say), got a rec from a professor who I had once, and wrote a research proposal basically saying that I wanted to do an expanded version of my senior thesis.

And I just found out I got in. So don't stress too much. :)

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]oxydosic
2007-01-19 03:07 pm UTC (link)
[info]sirgrunwald reminds me of that anime dude who was too gangsta for the oppressive society to handle. What was his name, KinFreon or something like that.They both have that 'society is the one fucked up, not me' attitude.

And WTF? This bit from [info]scandicrazian:

I believe the day people stop being afraid of calling other people sexual and racial slurs to their faces BECAUSE there is a general concensus that they mean absolutely nothing anymore and nobody could care less whether anyone is gay, straight, transgender, bisexual, white, black, yellow, red, brown, short, tall, fat, or thin, and essentially make every single one of these slurs completely meaningless and therefore harmless to use as much as one wants without retaliation or judgment, will be a day of triumph.

I've read it three times and I'm still not sure what that means.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


coreopsis
2007-01-19 03:30 pm UTC (link)
I translate that to: I want to call people any nasty name I want and not get in trouble for it.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]aristaea, 2007-01-19 05:30 pm UTC

(Anonymous)
2007-01-19 05:58 pm UTC (link)
there is a general concensus that they mean absolutely nothing anymore
Um, try telling that to all the people who get called those things and worse on a regular basis. I'm not so sure they would be so quick to agree that they mean "absolutely nothing anymore".
Clearly, someone never actually has to worry about being called any of those things. Ever.

(I can't help but picture this winner as one of those guys who get upset if a black person refers to him as a 'cracker' and isn't jumped on and accused of racism right away.)

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]whimsy_chan
2007-01-19 06:09 pm UTC (link)
It means, "I am looking forward to a time when those insults are meaningless because we have achieved true equality."

Better?

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]narcissam
2007-01-19 07:37 pm UTC (link)
It sounds like my brother's ambitious plan to rid the world of profanity by swearing. People would get so used to it, that no one would be offended anymore. He based this on the fact that a lot of old-fashioned swears have no meaning anymore. We asked him not to put his plan into action when we had company over, nevertheless.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]anonyrat, 2007-01-19 09:51 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2007-01-19 10:21 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]hallidae, 2007-01-19 10:52 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]eisoj5, 2007-01-19 11:38 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]apoplexia, 2007-01-20 12:22 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]luthe, 2007-01-20 12:52 am UTC

[info]heddychaa
2007-01-19 08:58 pm UTC (link)
Statement needs context. She was defending our current "political correctness" by saying that it's necessary because the words we are "not allowed to use" still have weight and meaning in our society.

She's basically saying that it will only be appropriate to use them in a society that will never exist, one where we have nothing to be prejudiced about.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]digigirl132
2007-01-19 04:53 pm UTC (link)
*scratches head* I wrote something better than that for my undergrad application essay. Does she really expect to get in with that?

(Reply to this)


[info]doc_lydgate
2007-01-19 07:22 pm UTC (link)
She should dump her boyfriend and marry Bob the Normal.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


(Anonymous)
2007-01-19 10:24 pm UTC (link)
YES!

God, their writing would take off. Side ways, at breakneck speed, and crashing solidly into the ground, but it would be great to watch.

-M "OTP!!!" ouse

(Reply to this)(Parent)


(Anonymous)
2007-01-19 10:22 pm UTC (link)
If she gets in, FtS, I'm applying to grad.

-creamsoda

(Reply to this)


[info]tehrin
2007-01-19 10:34 pm UTC (link)
OP- that wasn't a star. That was a planet. It moved on in its rotation around the sun so the light reflecting off it's atmosphere (which causes the twinkling) was no longer visible from Earth.

Dumb ass.

Sincerely,
Tehrin, who suffered through a semester and a lab of astronomy with a college class who couldn't even name all 9 planets (Back when Pluto counted).

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]tehrin
2007-01-19 10:35 pm UTC (link)
P.S. Yes, I am a little bitter about the people who were in that class.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]agent_hyatt
2007-01-20 05:11 am UTC (link)
a college class who couldn't even name all 9 planets

Reminds me of what my friend told me about her Calculus class today; apparently more than one student had no idea how to do a cube root.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]panthea, 2007-01-20 07:38 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]dragonfangirl, 2007-01-20 03:53 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]panthea, 2007-01-20 06:10 pm UTC

[info]white_serpent
2007-01-19 11:09 pm UTC (link)
When I was in the seventh grade, I discovered and began nightly to watch a star in the Western sky which twinkled ever so distinctly. It was not the brightest star, but it seemed to have a more stable, persistent light. One night as I was watching this star, it seemed to twinkle a little bit differently and then its light disappeared. No one else had seemed to notice and I never heard anything about a star's light going out, but that single event made an impact on my life and embodies my goals.

It embodies her goals...

She wants to be:
  • not bright

  • twinkle "ever so distinctly"

  • then disappear, completely unnoticed by the rest of the world.


  • I don't know about you, but I think she's well on her way to success.

    (Reply to this)(Thread)

    (no subject) - [info]cinnamonical, 2007-01-20 02:59 am UTC

    [info]kahrohseh
    2007-01-20 02:27 am UTC (link)
    You know, so many have posted wondering just what graduate school this lady thinks she'll get accepted to, and I just realised that if I read to the last paragraph (something it has taken me since yesterday to manage), it actually says she's applying to Florida State University. I can't profess to knowing much about FSU but isn't it fairly up there in national rankings?

    Of course the best part is going to the OP's profile and seeing that she lists everything going back to elementary school. I feel we should be writing stern letters.

    (Reply to this)


    [info]jerel
    2007-01-20 04:26 am UTC (link)
    This person is thinking about submitting this to graduate school? The metaphor is cliche. I wouldn't have even submitted this as an undergrad because it sounds so immature.

    As far as FSU goes, their speech pathology and social work programs are very strong. Their public affairs program is probably one of the top ones in the country. Most of the rest of them are (more than likely) just average. I went to a school of similar size and quality in Florida, and state graduate programs are not as selective as they'd like you to think.

    (Reply to this)

    *loffs some academic wank*
    [info]doc_lydgate
    2007-01-20 04:59 am UTC (link)
    i write about genocide. every paper i've ever read and every paper i've ever written starts out with "blah blah the international community vowed 'never again'." so i guess this whole cliche thing is really lost on me.

    Er... am I the only one who had trouble seeing how sentence 2 proceeded in any way logically from sentence 1?

    (Reply to this)


    [info]suzycat
    2007-01-20 10:53 am UTC (link)
    i love the power of narrative to bring you into one's thoughts if they are used correctly.

    WHAT.

    (Reply to this)(Thread)

    (no subject) - [info]heddychaa, 2007-01-20 08:37 pm UTC


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