"HEY, FUK U GUYS! I'M TTLY ACADEMICAL!"
I always like it when I see behaviour reminiscent of idiotic fanfic brats in actual academic circles. Much love to the mice at

lol_meme, who brought this to my attention.

brennakimi posts her SOP to the LJ community

applyingtograd for feedback from other members. (If you're in the mood for something utterly banal or in any way reminiscent of Billy Madison's anecdote about "The Puppy That Lost It's Way", I suggest you read it and try and take a stab in the dark about what she intends to study.)

However, she does not get the praise and "ZOMG THAT WUS RLY GOOD RITE MOR!" feedback she had been expecting.

Anan_b: I don't like your usage of quotations. Shoot, I just don't like seeing quotations in papers. It makes me think that my students are too lazy to think about how to say what they want in their own words. When I was an undergrad, nearly every professor of mine adhered to that same position. Are these papers published? If so, just put them on your vita and don't worry about stating their names in the SOP. It puts a big ebb to the flow of your writing. Describe your interests rather than list the title of some papers you've written.

Windsweptvoid: Alright, I still have no idea what the point of that star story is... what does it mean? I don't understand how that embodies your goals... apparently it is signifcant to you but you're not telling anyone why... If you want to keep it, you'll really have to find a way to make its relevence obvious.

Bighark: If you want to present yourself as a poor writer, proceed. If you want to look like someone capable of graduate work, write a better SOP.

Naturally, she lets everyone know that all their ideas are kinda ghey, which sets off ANOTHER WANK in which

sirgrunwald (who is actually

brennakimi's boyf, trufax) informs us that people upset about using "gay" as an insult are idiots, because "political correctness is bullshit".

To complete it all in true entitled fanfic brat style,

brennakimi informs us that she's ~~not going to update her WIP, "Hermione Granger and the Summer Makeover"~~ going to take her SOP and find people who are HELPFUL AND NICE AND NOT AT ALL MEAN.

ETA: ONOZ DELETED

D:

But the ever-wonderful

julian_black and

bartle_by have screencaps for us. Bless their little cotton socks.

The main wank

sirgrunwald shares his thoughts on yaoi

Side-thread

From

snarkivist, the main wank with a couple of threads open

(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)

doc_lydgate
2007-01-19 07:17 pm UTC (link)

My experience as student and TA has been that it's not about quotes/no quotes, lots/few, but whether or not you use the damned things effectively. If you're using quotes, be sure that:

•Every one is present to actually address the essay's question(s). Could you succinctly and lucidly explain to another person what that quote does in the structure of your essay?
•Your quotes are not redundant (i.e., do you have two quotes that really serve the same purpose in your essay, but you just can't bear to part with one of them 'cause they're just so pretty? If you do, then FAIL).
•Thou shalt not close a paragraph with a quotation that sounds vaguely witty and believe that thou art terribly witty and elegantly landing a point. If you don't have something to say about why this quote is important to your questions and your argument, then what the hell is it doing there in the first place? FAIL.*

On the other hand, if you seem to have a dearth of quotes and this disturbs you, then:

•Well, what sort of essay are you trying to write? Do you have some sort of vague feeling that you ought to have some quotes from major league ~~ball players~~ philosphers or artists to make your case? If so, is the source of that feeling a desire to borrow some validity from figures accepted as "great" without making a case for your stance yourself? Or do you have something to say about why those figures' opinions are important?
•Are you, in fact, writing a research essay or an essay about a book?** 'Cause, if so, and there aren't any quotes around, you're probably not answering your own essay's question. Or at least not the professor's. In most fields, there simply isn't that much academic work to be done that doesn't build concretely on something that's come before.

*Some quotes, it is true, require only a sentence to explain their place in your argument, but, unless your essay is generously padded, this is the exception.
**You might think it would be superfluous to have students ask themselves this. However, you would be wrong. So very, very wrong...

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	heddychaa 2007-01-19 09:15 pm UTC (link)
	otf_wank: endlessly educational! (Reply to this)(Parent)

apoplexia
2007-01-20 12:34 am UTC (link)

These are very useful points that most students could do worse than to consider then writing an essay (I would add "Are you using quotes as a substitute for an argument, rather than to support it?"), however, they are not, it must be said, technically relevant to the community's stated aim of a) pointing, and, more importantly, b) mocking. I suggest that ensure that you address the topic more directly in future.

C-

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	doc_lydgate 2007-01-20 04:50 am UTC (link)
	My apologies. The question seemed to be in earnest (several other folks seemed to get that vibe, as well?). (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	doc_lydgate 2007-01-20 04:52 am UTC (link)
	…I can't believe that I just got that. It's been a long day of shreding people's papers and dreams. (Reply to this)(Parent)

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