Hockey fans prove they can wank with the best of 'em!
One of my LJ friends asked me to post this for her. So, copypasta'd from wank_report.

(Before we start, a brief summary and explanation: a "puck bunny" is a someone who is into hockey primarily for the purpose of sleeping with hockey players. Certain... totally understandable fangirl behaviours, i.e. lustful squeeing, when indulged outside of regions designated as safe havens for lustful squeeing, in mixed company, are likely to earn you a puck bunny label and the undying scorn of hockey fans who are on boards to discuss, you know, hockey. You are likely to be shunned even by female fans who might be amenable to joining you in the lustful squeeing under more auspicious circumstances, because the puck bunny taint [*cough*] is widely considered to be contagious.)

On puck bunnies and the danger they represent.

The whole thing begins when CapsFanTooLong posts a checklist of the warning signs for puck bunny tendencies. Mere moments later, we have our faceoff at center ice: ihatethepens (oft referred to within the thread as IHTP) decides CapsFanTooLong MUST be talking about HER! Play is going along fairly calmly until elCapo13--in a moment which is NOT TROLLISH AT ALL--suggests that we should all just cut right to the chase; ALL female fen are puckbunnies! AND THE GLOVES ARE OFF! Then IHTP claims she isn't a puck bunny, because she knows the rules; Nomad calls a penalty--two minutes for a red herring! IHTP will not be stopped; she decides that elCapo13 and Nomad are joining to conspire against all female fans, and conflates their statements into one: are you calling all girls who know the rules of hockey puckbunnies? ZOMG STOP TEH OPRESHUN!

In the first intermission, AllStarMe has the gall to suggest that maybe it, uh, totally doesn't matter if someone calls you a puck bunny--apparently she hasn't gotten the memo that teh internetz are sirius biznuss. jofa requests politely that everyone should perhaps enjoy the nicer, sweeter side of Canada and all sit down together and enjoy some maple syrup and curling. longtimehockeyfan totally misses the point of, well, everything. Everyone else kind of seems to chill out and joke around for a page or two...but the game's not over yet!

Halfway down page three, Jagzed chimes in with this gem:

I mean cmon, who else would you be reffering to. She asked for everyone to cut it out.. its the internet.. so you dont have to do anything. Still.. Yeah go for it "your only saying that cause you like her" blah blah I dont care im in a different state, it really does not matter, anyway!

While the other team is blindsided, trying to decipher what the hell that means, IHTP carries it past the blueline with some lovely stick handling and a whole lot of tl;dr. Once he realizes what's happened, Nomad slams IHTP into the boards with some pesky logic wrapped in a thick layer of attitude, while CapsFanTooLong shouts from behind the bench that he didn't mean to attack anyone personally! AllStarMe sees Jagzed's comment defending IHTP...and suddenly is confused about which side she's on. Frankly, I'm confused too. Luke attemps to block with a bit of humor:

I still do not equate the term puckbunny to be demeaning or anything. Actually it sounds cute... better than "female hockey fan." The demeaning term would be something like "limo passenger."

...but IHTP will not be stopped! It isn't HER fault that hockey players keep GOING places IN CLOTHES and BEING PRETTY! SHE CAN'T STOP THEM FROM BEING SO HOT SHE HAS TO POST ABOUT IT!

neuromancer misreads the play and tries to recover with a suggestion that perhaps there isn't much to be done about the fact that people are going to keep calling IHTP a puck bunny as long as she squees all over their hockey. ZednikFan and AllStarMe, both part-time squee-ers, jump to IHTP's defence with a little bit of "She can squee all over your hockey if she wants to!" - a fine rally in front of the crease. HockeyCritter tries to get it out with a little bit of "well, if the shoe fits", while OldChelsea tries to fake with a reminder that all too many MALE fans can't keep it in their pants over Crosby! (note from braisinhussy: I have no idea who this is.)

There's more, but I don't think I can keep my hockey metaphor going much longer. I will, however, call your attention to page 5, where capsfan28 demonstrates that he can be a creepier stalker than any puckbunny could ever hope to be, pages 6-one million where IHTP and Nomad JUST WON'T LET IT GO--until they finally agree to kiss and make up over some maple syrup and curling on page 8...and CapsFanTooLong immediately decides HE CAN'T POSSIBLY LET THIS DIE, so he picks up the puck and goes for the breakaway!