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Jenn ([info]wankaholic) wrote in [info]otf_wank,
@ 2007-01-19 16:10:00
Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Does wank + telemarketing = phone sex?
Oh, customers_suck, you bastion of wank.

[info]shadowsync posts a potentially wanky list of things to do when a telemarketer calls (how to get them to stop calling you the polite way, but phrased badly).

Of course, it's customers_suck. Are they going to let them live it down?

Not if they can help it!

Be sure to look out for [info]tigerwolf's comment about his newly-purchased airhorn (second page), and [info]susano_otter's comment about how telemarketing is equivalent to selling yourself (second linked thread, last comment).

And, of course, there's a condensed version of the stupid on stupid_free.

Telemarketing: only the strong survive.

ETA: Fixed to include link to original post.

(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)

And just in case people here missed what really created the wank
[info]themercymachine
2007-01-20 03:02 am UTC (link)
This is the bile the OP came up with-

A few simple rules...
- If you are eating dinner and don't want to talk on the phone....DON'T PICK UP THE PHONE
- If you are busy and don't want to talk on the phone...DON'T PICK UP THE PHONE
- If you are in the middle of an argument/just finished an argument./are in a bitchy mood...DON'T PICK UP THE PHONE
- If your child/grandchild is around the house, and they are not capable of speaking in clear english and following directions....DON'T LET THEM PICK UP THE PHONE
- On the same note...putting kids on your outgoing msg for your voicemail/ansewering mach, is NOT CUTE! In fact some people have sensitive ears and hearing your three year old "singing" (cat's dying is what it sounded like) every day for over a week because you were never home is NOT FUN!!!

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Re: And just in case people here missed what really created the wank
[info]jat_sapphire
2007-01-20 05:57 am UTC (link)
Gosh, you're an idiot.

I take it back: don't keep going. You're not funny enough.

Though I suppose there is some connection between being unable to leave the ringing phone alone and being unable to keep your wanky thoughts to yourself.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: And just in case people here missed what really created the wank
[info]loonylupinlover
2007-01-20 06:19 am UTC (link)
And just in case people here missed what really created the wank...

...aw, pooh. I thought you were going to post your picture :(

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]ashenmote
2007-01-20 06:32 am UTC (link)
Okay, okay, okay. I see what's troubling you now.

You know what? It's fine. You have our special permit to pick up your phone.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]tez
2007-01-20 06:35 am UTC (link)
*STAMP*

Done. You can answer your phone now.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]vengeance_bean
2007-01-20 08:35 am UTC (link)
I don't know what's sexier, the stamp or the modhammer.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]sequinedlizard
2007-01-20 10:50 pm UTC (link)
The stamp of extreme fail is extraordinarily sexy... I think that wins.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: And just in case people here missed what really created the wank
[info]jerry_ds_girl
2007-01-20 06:39 am UTC (link)
I am NOT a telemarketer, and I agree x10 with those last two points. I work in store where we do lots of special orders, and it sucks to have some kid answer the phone when you've called to tell their parents you were able to order whatever it was they wanted. They either refuse to get their parents or hang up, or the ones who say they will take a message (and sound capable of it) never do, and then mom calls you back the next day and bitches you out because you 'never called her'.

And outgoing messages with kids who can barely speak English are fucking annoying. If I have to call someone I know with one of those messages, I try to do it when I know they'll be home.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: And just in case people here missed what really created the wank
[info]apoplexia
2007-01-20 10:38 am UTC (link)
Did you read any of the above? Did it go over your little head? Do you have any idea how little we care about you?

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: And just in case people here missed what really created the wank
[info]ashenmote
2007-01-20 11:43 am UTC (link)
It's good that the androids have this earnestness problem with their chip, makes them easy to spot at least. But we really need to blow up that damned underground lab that keeps sending them here.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

????
[info]jerry_ds_girl
2007-01-21 04:27 am UTC (link)
Dude? I'm on your side here, wtf?

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: ????
[info]sorchar
2007-01-21 10:26 pm UTC (link)
WTF is that this is a place for pointing and laughing about the wank, not for wanking itself. It's not always easy to remember, we've all erred on the side of earnestness at times. But after trying to beat it into mercymachine's head that zie should not bring the wank here, we expect that other people privy to said attempting beating would understand the lesson.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: ????
[info]jerry_ds_girl
2007-01-22 04:07 am UTC (link)
Well, my thought processes were more along the lines of this comment:
http://www.journalfen.net/community/otf_wank/523998.html?thread=38763998#t38763998

But it appears my brain-->keyboard connection=extreme fail.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: And just in case people here missed what really created the wank
[info]ecchaniz0r
2007-01-20 06:54 am UTC (link)
You seem to have mistaken the lot of us for a group who actually give a shit about fermenting undie-skids like you, hoss.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: And just in case people here missed what really created the wank
[info]puipui
2007-01-20 09:10 am UTC (link)
So... the OP seems like a reasonable person, and you're upset because you're jealous or something? Because you could be reasonable, too, you know, if you just start trying. And there's no time like the present!

No, really. I mean that. Now would be good, yes.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]ashenmote
2007-01-20 11:57 am UTC (link)
Excellent opening line. Quick now, offer her our new OCT synergetic substance compound multipack!

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: And just in case people here missed what really created the wank
[info]eilan
2007-01-20 10:47 am UTC (link)
Because it's not like we could totally see the original post when we clicked on the first line in the wank report.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: And just in case people here missed what really created the wank
[info]dragonfangirl
2007-01-20 04:35 pm UTC (link)
So, my question to you is: What is the difference between a pile of bowling balls and a pile of dead babies?

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: And just in case people here missed what really created the wank
(Anonymous)
2007-01-20 04:45 pm UTC (link)
Can't pick up a pile of bowling balls with a pitchfork.

What's the difference between a dead baby and an onion?

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: And just in case people here missed what really created the wank
[info]aristaea
2007-01-20 11:17 pm UTC (link)
Onions make you cry?

Sorry, sorry, couldn't help myself.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: And just in case people here missed what really created the wank
[info]dragonfangirl
2007-01-21 06:06 am UTC (link)
Almost. "I cry when cutting into an onion."

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: And just in case people here missed what really created the wank
(Anonymous)
2007-01-21 01:17 am UTC (link)
And in honor of this, something from I got by watching CF_Hardcore:

Brisket

1 cup dry red wine
1 cup canned beef or chicken broth
1/2 cup frozen cranberry juice cocktail concentrate, thawed
1/4 cup all purpose flour
1 large onion, sliced
4 garlic cloves, chopped
1 1/2 tablespoons chopped fresh rosemary
1 4-pound trimmed flat-cut brisket
12 ounces medium portobello mushrooms, dark gills scraped away, caps thinly sliced
1 cup dried cranberries (about 4 ounces)


Preheat oven to 300°F. Whisk wine, broth, cranberry concentrate and flour to blend in medium bowl; pour into 15 x 10 x 2-inch roasting pan. Mix in onion, garlic and rosemary. Sprinkle brisket on all sides with salt and pepper. Place brisket, fat side up, in roasting pan. Spoon some of wine mixture over. Cover pan tightly with heavy-duty foil.
Bake brisket until very tender, basting with pan juices every hour, about 3 1/2 hours. Transfer brisket to plate; cool 1 hour at room temperature. Thinly slice brisket across grain. Arrange slices in pan with sauce, overlapping slices slightly. (Brisket can be prepared 2 days ahead. Cover and refrigerate.)
Preheat oven to 350°F. Place mushrooms and cranberries in sauce around brisket. Cover pan with foil. Bake until mushrooms are tender and brisket is heated through, about 30 minutes (40 minutes if brisket has been refrigerated).
Transfer sliced brisket and sauce to platter and serve.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]shaysdays
2007-01-22 07:14 am UTC (link)
GIP. It's amazing that Amanda is so versatile.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: And just in case people here missed what really created the wank
[info]ara
2007-01-22 05:27 pm UTC (link)
But what are your thoughts on telemarketing?

(Reply to this)(Parent)

(Read comments) -

 
   
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