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thekiwiwhoflew ([info]thekiwiwhoflew) wrote in [info]otf_wank,
@ 2007-01-23 04:52:00


Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Oh, Britania.
Okay, does this really bear explaining?

So some English punk posts about how inferior Americans are and doesn't even have the drive to be funny about it.

But ofcourse, someone finds it funny and feels that it has to be shared with the world, forgetting that Americans are part of said world.

And it is on! People are, ofcourse, unimpressed by failed sense of humor and not even thinly veiled condescension.

Americans blatantly prove him wrong by going on about Mets, Yankees and the scientific definition of a Californian rather than giving him the attention he craves.

Apiphile quirks on the real reason behind teh hatredz.

But let this be a lesson to this new crowd of so called 'anglophiles' who think the U.K. is a bunch of lovely victorian like people sitting around eating krumpets and drinking tea.

(outside of MQ, a reply to his journal- if this is not allowed, please let me know and I will remove it immediately)Speaking of Anglophiles, cue obligatory "ooh mr brittish man, its true, its true! Were all just like that! Oh please excuse us, mr brittish man, were the enlightened americans who see the error of our people's ways! please take pity on us and take us to your land of tea and krumpets and that weird sport with that black and white ball and spice girls!!111'


For all he talks about Americans, he's pretty big on the stereotyping- Not only on the American stereotypes, but English too with this 'yankee' buisness. In growing up in London, I've heard many ways to refer to Americans; 'Americans', 'People from America', 'those people' and 'Yeah, Good Ol' We'll Wait Until The Last Minute To Join The War When London Has Already Been Leveled And Blitzed Half Way To Hell'.. Maybe it's used in places like Manchester which are decidedly bitter because they spent most of the nineties getting their asses handed to them by Liverpool-*shotshotshot* but I never heard the term Yankee being used for an American by an English person in modern times outside of television or American-written books.

And on the "Disproportionate Levels of Enthusiasm" Uh.. Is he for real? I mean, really? Come on, now. Has this man ever been near a pub? Think Englishman Drinking Prowess + Subconscious awareness that nearby police aren't really armed.

Wanky but small. Just like the English. OH. I JUST WENT THERE. IF YOU'RE OFFENDED YOU JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND MY SENSE OF SARCASM AND YOU'RE A YANK. HAH HAH.


Oh, English wank. Perfect timing after a lot of Dr. Who and Eddie Izzard icons.

EDIT:After repeatedly eating my foot in the comments below, I'd like to go on to make a big apology that I let my own wankiness get in the way of the funnez and that this post came off as bad as it did. I was hasty and to say this was unbiased would be an obvious lie- No, I am not American, but living here I was quick to get my underwear in a knot. In my own self righteous indignity, I forgot that the intrenets iz not serious buisness. Please accept my apologies and crumpets with a K. I'd also offer you my left foot, but I already promised it away to someone else.)


(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)


magpiggles
2007-01-23 01:37 pm UTC (link)
But they also created Glasgow.

A sin almost as dire as when we built Milton Keynes...

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]napalmnacey
2007-01-23 01:43 pm UTC (link)
We'll overlook that cause they also made a lot of very nice places *outside* of Glasgow. And nice people.

Seriously. Doesn't the sight of Tennant's bulge fill you with the urge to forgive?

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


magpiggles
2007-01-23 01:47 pm UTC (link)
Fine, I'll forgive.

But I'm still going to speak loudly in my most southern accent next time I'm up there.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]napalmnacey
2007-01-23 01:57 pm UTC (link)
You know, I can never understand what a Glaswegian is saying. It's like another language. My mum, who's from Peterhead, was in line at a shop and a couple of Glasgow girls were behind her. Until she turned around, she thought they were from China or something! *lol* I thought that was awfully cute.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]rosina_alcona
2007-01-23 02:14 pm UTC (link)
my mum is from Peterhead too!

But I love Glasgow, I think parts of it are gorgeous, and I've never had a problem understanding anyone - I lived there for 5 years.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]napalmnacey
2007-01-23 02:18 pm UTC (link)
Awesome! My Grandpa and his Dad worked in the prison there as wardens :)

I don't know enough about Glasgow, really, other than the accents are so thick I don't understand a word. I understand people from the highlands, though. Softer accents, I suppose.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]rosina_alcona, 2007-01-23 04:01 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]napalmnacey, 2007-01-23 04:44 pm UTC

[info]bubosquared
2007-01-23 03:49 pm UTC (link)
You're giving Glaswegian the benefit of the doubt that it is, in fact, a language? I'm convinced it's actually an in-joke and even the Weegies don't understand it.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]napalmnacey
2007-01-23 04:39 pm UTC (link)
That would make so much sense...

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]smo
2007-01-23 07:39 pm UTC (link)
Weegies = cutest nickname ever oh em gee.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]caoilte
2007-01-23 09:32 pm UTC (link)
That's what Harry tells me every time I complain about his accent, cuz I can barely understand him. (Harry being my Glaswegian friend who's made of win, one of the only Weegies to be so...) *has a rather dim view of the city*

(Reply to this)(Parent)


dracothelizard
2007-01-23 05:37 pm UTC (link)
You just want them to ask to repeat what they're saying in English, and then you go 'Oh. You were already speaking English. Right. I'll just flee now.'

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]napalmnacey
2007-01-23 05:39 pm UTC (link)
I would never ask them that. I value my health too much. LOL. I just nod and smile and hope they don't ask me anything too complicated. LOL!

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]black_spot, 2007-01-23 08:42 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2007-01-24 08:47 pm UTC

[info]caoilte
2007-01-23 09:29 pm UTC (link)
Or John Hannah....yummm.....*needs another shower* brb ;)

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]napalmnacey
2007-01-23 10:35 pm UTC (link)
Oh, how could I forget darling JOHN!?

(Reply to this)(Parent)


dracothelizard
2007-01-23 02:42 pm UTC (link)
Oi! :p.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]napalmnacey
2007-01-23 04:53 pm UTC (link)
Don't worry. You're still more Scottish than I am. (And that means you really do win).

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


dracothelizard
2007-01-23 05:38 pm UTC (link)
Well, you're Australian, according to your userinfo, and I'm Dutch. I guess that does put me geographically closer.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]napalmnacey
2007-01-23 05:45 pm UTC (link)
Oh, I thought you were offended at me poking fun at Glaswegians, so thought you were one.

I'm Australian, but my Mum is from Scotland, so I'm half-Scottish. (Technically, only one quarter since my Mum's Mum was from Malta).

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


dracothelizard
2007-01-23 05:49 pm UTC (link)
I've just spent five months studying at the uni there, and quite liked it. I didn't see why Glasgow is so awful. Granted, it's a great big huge city, which isn't my kind of tihng, but apart from that, it's not half-bad.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]napalmnacey, 2007-01-23 05:55 pm UTC
(no subject) - dracothelizard, 2007-01-23 06:02 pm UTC

magpiggles
2007-01-23 05:01 pm UTC (link)
Would you be happier if I was mean to the rest of the cities?

Maybe some sort of "A Soft Southern Pansy's Guide To The Godless North And The Hairy Men Who Roam There?

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]brown_betty
2007-01-24 01:17 am UTC (link)
That would make me happy, just from the title.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


magpiggles
2007-01-24 01:49 am UTC (link)
Well, never let it be said that I won't do anything to get out of writing essays.

Hello dear reader. My name is Magpie and while I am currently languishing in Canterbury, I was born and raised in the heart of the civilized south of England.

Brighton, City of same sex kissing and one and a half piers.

I am the child of a disastrous union of a Scotsman and a simple Belfast girl. Due to my heritage I have travelled all over these isles, I have flirted with pretty boys at the Dun Laoghaire culture festival in Ireland, travelled all across England meeting people from the internet (none of whom were creepy predators) and even spent one painful week in Whales when my parents decided to have one last holiday “as a family” even though they had decided to get divorced.

But today I am talking of Scotland. A country that has been deeply romanticized with its glens, thistles and men in kilts.

Glasgow is the dark heart of this nation. Home of many fantastic gigs but also many heroin addicts. Its cursed inhabitants speak an unknown dialect that will drive you insane if you don’t’ placate them with offerings of battered mars bars.

Dundee is a lot like Innsmouth from the works of everyone’s favourite cuddly racist: Howard Lovecraft. Looking over the dark river Tay, it harbours many strange secrets. The worst of which being the mysterious substance known only as “Jute”. I have only ever heard this mentioned when we are visiting our relatives, no one in my family talks about it at home, but as soon as we come to visit, conversation meanders over to Jute Mills, Jute Factories and so forth. What is Jute? I do not know. I could google it, but as Lovecraft has taught us, there are some things man is simply not meant to know.

Edinburgh is ok. I have nothing bad to say about it. Except that thanks to its university, many of my exes live there. A terrifying prospect.

Finally I will mention as small village known only as Stromferry. We visited once for a weekend, it was dead. There were no people at all. Were we simply there at the wrong time of year or had tentacled beasts devoured the population? Only the deer that brazenly walked the streets knew and they certainly weren’t talking.

This ends my descriptions of the godless north.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2007-01-27 03:44 pm UTC

[info]agent_hyatt
2007-01-23 10:27 pm UTC (link)
Glasgow's not too bad, at least until you need to start communicating with people and understanding what they say. Most incomprehensible accent in Scotland, I've been told.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


kroki_refur
2007-01-24 08:41 am UTC (link)
I vote for second most. Proper Doric speakers just makes me keel over and die.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


(Anonymous)
2007-01-24 05:23 pm UTC (link)
I used to date someone who was a Doric speaker.
hee. He was lovely.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


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