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hangingfire ([info]hangingfire) wrote in [info]otf_wank,
@ 2007-01-25 17:11:00


Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Shark Wank
The NYT newsblog The Lede has a piece about the frilled shark caught off the coast of Japan, plus a video link.

The exceptional coolness and strangeness of the beastie, however, does not stop people in the comments from quickly going to town with the fappery. In fact, the fun starts with the second comment:
Given the Japanese fishing industry’s habit of dredging everything up off the sea bottom and destroying entire habitats’ populations, I don’t think I’m surprised that they’re dragging up deep-water squid, and now, this shark. I doubt that these are the first, or will be the last, examples.
And they're off!

There's Japan-bashing, impugning of the researchers who captured the shark, poorly informed opinions, a reference to "shark-hugging hippies", jokes about sushi, jokes about the shark's resemblance to family members, more Japan-bashing, arguments over whether it's a shark or an eel, and more, over the course of some 120+ comments.

And if you're looking for the funny, you can do well with David at comment #116.

ETA: My new favorite comment: Hi. I’m not dead. — Posted by Eel Shark

It's not until #168 that someone finally makes a Steve Zissou joke. The thread is still chugging along, still with more Japan-bashing, and some solid (if a bit tl;dr-ish) comments enjoining the readers to, you know, get all the facts before spouting off. Not that it stops anyone from continuing to spout off about the rape of the oceans and who's got the worst ecological record, etc. Good times.



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[info]puipui
2007-01-26 12:34 am UTC (link)
I agree; #116 is a thing of beauty and a joy forever. I was going to quote my favorite bits but there are just too many.

I need a terrorist frilled shark icon now.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]shinga, 2007-01-26 12:40 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]puipui, 2007-01-26 12:57 am UTC

[info]shinga
2007-01-26 12:35 am UTC (link)
OH GOD FREAKYASS SHARK NO.

... Is this the same David I know? God, it sounds just like him. Freaky much.

...

SHARK. *has nightmares*

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2007-01-26 10:45 pm UTC

[info]semirecluse
2007-01-26 12:58 am UTC (link)
That first photo is just crying out for a "Y HALO THAR!" macro.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]doomsday, 2007-01-26 01:06 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]semirecluse, 2007-01-26 01:14 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]hangingfire, 2007-01-26 01:52 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]tehrin, 2007-01-26 02:27 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2007-01-26 03:36 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]itsirtou, 2007-01-26 04:36 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]doc_lydgate, 2007-01-26 04:49 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]plazmah, 2007-01-26 05:10 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]littlest_lurker, 2007-01-26 07:38 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]michmatch, 2007-01-26 11:51 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]miraba, 2007-01-26 07:59 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2007-01-27 04:29 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]slackeremeritus, 2007-01-27 09:36 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2007-01-28 10:30 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]doomsday, 2007-01-29 11:49 am UTC

[info]pantyless_angel
2007-01-26 01:06 am UTC (link)
Who knows, one might decide to cozy up to an attack submarine and interfere with our ability to cruise around with deadly bombs and missiles, capable of wiping out the earth’s population several times over.

Didn't a Cookie Cutter Shark already beat them to that?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]wolfshark, 2007-01-26 01:14 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]starkers, 2007-01-26 05:43 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]littlest_lurker, 2007-01-26 07:40 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2007-01-26 01:50 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]hangingfire, 2007-01-26 04:40 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]puipui, 2007-01-26 09:29 pm UTC

[info]hallidae
2007-01-26 01:22 am UTC (link)
David is the new king of teh intarwebz. I loved that comment so.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]napalmnacey, 2007-01-26 01:32 am UTC

[info]caoilte
2007-01-26 01:31 am UTC (link)
As far as the sushi comments go… how racist is that? That’s like saying everything Americans kill they grind up and make into patties to grill with cheese and beer.

They don't? Who knew? o.O



(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]telophase, 2007-01-26 01:48 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]jrs1980, 2007-01-26 03:43 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]kuribos_shoe, 2007-01-26 04:29 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]caoilte, 2007-01-26 10:26 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]telophase, 2007-01-26 03:17 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]shaysdays, 2007-01-26 01:52 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]hangingfire, 2007-01-26 01:55 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]tehrin, 2007-01-26 02:36 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]caoilte, 2007-01-26 10:28 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ladysorka, 2007-01-26 04:34 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]brown_betty, 2007-01-26 05:40 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]stopthatgirl7, 2007-01-27 02:10 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]exdee, 2007-01-26 03:19 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]mmanurere, 2007-01-26 05:30 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2007-01-26 10:46 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]visp, 2007-01-26 04:28 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]caoilte, 2007-01-26 10:25 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]visp, 2007-01-26 01:04 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]marumae, 2007-01-26 10:26 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]visp, 2007-01-27 04:33 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]caoilte, 2007-01-27 03:55 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]visp, 2007-01-27 04:27 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]caoilte, 2007-01-27 03:36 pm UTC

(Anonymous)
2007-01-26 01:36 am UTC (link)
I wonder if because of global warming, will we begin to see other rare creatures coming up to the ocean’s service more frequntly.

What where how?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]greypearl, 2007-01-26 02:00 am UTC
(no subject) - iwanttobeasleep, 2007-01-26 02:08 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ayezur, 2007-01-26 04:24 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]dragonfangirl, 2007-01-26 01:32 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]ayezur, 2007-01-26 02:20 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]puipui, 2007-01-26 02:13 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]monsley, 2007-01-26 02:52 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]pokecheck, 2007-01-26 03:13 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]puipui, 2007-01-26 03:29 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]pokecheck, 2007-01-26 04:23 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2007-01-26 10:43 pm UTC

[info]pokecheck
2007-01-26 02:04 am UTC (link)
I agree with comment #116. The Way-Majorly-Deep threat cannot be underestimated.

Hee!

(Reply to this)


(Anonymous)
2007-01-26 02:14 am UTC (link)
is it wrong that this gave me a sudden strong urge for sushi? sashimi in particular. D:

I think it looks like an eel.. wonder what exactly defines what makes something a shark anyway.. anyone know?

and how cool would it be to have a pet of one of these things? Though people asking you what it was would get old quick.

rose_nightshade@LJ (since LJ is FAIL and for some reason will not let me log in on the com page. :/ )

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]puipui, 2007-01-26 02:19 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2007-01-26 03:08 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]rogue, 2007-01-26 03:14 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2007-01-26 03:38 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]jrs1980, 2007-01-26 03:51 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2007-01-26 03:56 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]jrs1980, 2007-01-26 04:01 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2007-01-26 04:48 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]spawn_of_kong, 2007-01-26 02:46 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]isntitironic, 2007-01-26 02:58 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]puipui, 2007-01-26 03:31 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]miraba, 2007-01-26 08:06 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2007-01-26 03:04 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]moriath, 2007-01-26 03:16 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2007-01-26 03:19 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sesana, 2007-01-26 04:47 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]heddychaa, 2007-01-27 06:03 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sequinedlizard, 2007-01-26 03:39 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]red_eft, 2007-01-26 09:01 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]dragonfangirl, 2007-01-26 01:33 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]wonapalei, 2007-01-26 05:26 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]sequinedlizard, 2007-01-26 03:16 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]threegoldfish, 2007-01-26 04:11 pm UTC

[info]tehrin
2007-01-26 02:26 am UTC (link)
I am guilty of craving fish after reading this wank.

Cuff me. *holds out wrists and goes to see if there is anything fishy to eat in the fridge*

(Reply to this)


[info]shadowkitty
2007-01-26 02:28 am UTC (link)
Poor sharky :(

What, am I the only one who cried when they blew up Jaws?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]tehrin, 2007-01-26 02:35 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]shadowkitty, 2007-01-26 03:08 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]doomsday, 2007-01-26 03:13 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]puipui, 2007-01-26 03:33 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sewingmyfish, 2007-01-26 09:15 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]hangingfire, 2007-01-26 09:16 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]littlest_lurker, 2007-01-27 05:17 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]lunarkettle, 2007-01-28 06:03 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]waterfront, 2007-01-26 03:15 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]semirecluse, 2007-01-26 09:51 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]waterfront, 2007-01-26 02:14 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]ayezur, 2007-01-26 04:27 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]doc_lydgate, 2007-01-26 04:49 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mindset, 2007-01-26 07:44 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]doc_lydgate, 2007-01-26 11:54 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]puipui, 2007-01-26 09:54 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]xero_sky, 2007-01-26 07:52 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]delicfcd, 2007-01-26 11:23 am UTC

[info]isntitironic
2007-01-26 02:56 am UTC (link)
... isn't that the fish monster from the extended cut of King Kong?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]oar, 2007-01-26 04:04 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]isntitironic, 2007-01-26 04:28 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]abbymouse, 2007-01-26 04:40 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]aristaea, 2007-01-26 05:09 am UTC

[info]pharae
2007-01-26 03:02 am UTC (link)
... I'm no fish expert, and I don't know if they touched the thing before taking the video, but it didn't look too healthy in the first place.

Why are all these commenters practically screaming "OMFG RAPTOR SHARK JESUS THE FRILLED SHARK DIED FOR OUR SINS!11!?!"

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]ayezur, 2007-01-26 04:28 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]brown_betty, 2007-01-26 05:44 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ayezur, 2007-01-26 05:49 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]brown_betty, 2007-01-26 05:51 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ayezur, 2007-01-26 05:56 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]semirecluse, 2007-01-26 09:55 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2007-01-27 03:20 am UTC

[info]doomsday
2007-01-26 03:14 am UTC (link)
Poor fishy. It's all dressed up with no place to go.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2007-01-26 03:35 am UTC

[info]waterfront
2007-01-26 03:22 am UTC (link)
I agree with the rest of my colegues on this issue .

I'm imagining a very earnest teenage boy with a bubble pipe propped in the corner of his mouth.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]pokecheck, 2007-01-26 04:24 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]doc_lydgate, 2007-01-26 04:47 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]aristaea, 2007-01-26 05:25 am UTC

[info]lyppy
2007-01-26 04:13 am UTC (link)
I love pseudo-intellectual wank. Softens the blow of stupidity.

(Reply to this)


[info]doc_lydgate
2007-01-26 04:46 am UTC (link)
That is one freaky eye.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]hallidae, 2007-01-26 08:19 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]semirecluse, 2007-01-26 09:56 am UTC

[info]dragonfangirl
2007-01-26 01:28 pm UTC (link)
Don't we already have terrorist sharks?

(Reply to this)


[info]vengeance_bean
2007-01-26 02:58 pm UTC (link)
Get back in the boat, Princess. Those are the shrieking eels!

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]exdee, 2007-01-26 03:25 pm UTC

[info]squib
2007-01-26 03:28 pm UTC (link)
Aww, the title had me hoping it was wank for my favorite new series this year. :(

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2007-01-26 05:43 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]squib, 2007-01-26 05:49 pm UTC

[info]pantyless_angel
2007-01-26 09:02 pm UTC (link)
Reading the comments again I'm kind of wondering why so many people seem to be jumping to the conclusion that "Rarely seen" some how means "OMG IT ARE GOING EXTINKT!111one!"

African Leopards are also rarely seen, but there are more leopards in Africa than any other big cat species. (and they don't even live in the deep ocean)

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]puipui, 2007-01-26 10:23 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]pantyless_angel, 2007-01-26 10:25 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2007-01-27 01:57 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]littlest_lurker, 2007-01-27 05:21 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]puipui, 2007-01-27 07:26 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]littlest_lurker, 2007-01-27 07:35 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]benighted, 2007-01-27 09:40 pm UTC
I loveded you mr. frilled shark!
(Anonymous)
2007-01-26 10:53 pm UTC (link)
Man, this brings back memories of my petition to get a bionic tentacle for the giant squid that got his tentacle yanked off by the Japanese scientists' equipment. Obviously, a memorial service for the frilled shark is in order.

*pours out a bottle of beer for all her deep-sea homies who ain't here no more.*

-hailgreatmoloch@livejournal.com

(Reply to this)


(Anonymous)
2007-01-27 12:35 am UTC (link)
I normally like sharks, but that one creeped me out. Those frilly gills... *shudder* I looked at cuteoverload.com for a while to feel better.

(Reply to this)


[info]the_wanlorn
2007-01-27 12:50 am UTC (link)
THAT'S NOT A SHARK, THAT'S A SEA MONSTER. Dear gods, I don't think I'm gonna sleep tonight.

IT HAD A TAIL. A LONG WAVY TAIL.

(Reply to this)


[info]stopthatgirl7
2007-01-27 02:18 am UTC (link)
That thing was scary as shit, but I still wanna know if it would taste good.

(Reply to this)



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