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hangingfire ([info]hangingfire) wrote in [info]otf_wank,
@ 2007-01-25 17:11:00


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Shark Wank
The NYT newsblog The Lede has a piece about the frilled shark caught off the coast of Japan, plus a video link.

The exceptional coolness and strangeness of the beastie, however, does not stop people in the comments from quickly going to town with the fappery. In fact, the fun starts with the second comment:
Given the Japanese fishing industry’s habit of dredging everything up off the sea bottom and destroying entire habitats’ populations, I don’t think I’m surprised that they’re dragging up deep-water squid, and now, this shark. I doubt that these are the first, or will be the last, examples.
And they're off!

There's Japan-bashing, impugning of the researchers who captured the shark, poorly informed opinions, a reference to "shark-hugging hippies", jokes about sushi, jokes about the shark's resemblance to family members, more Japan-bashing, arguments over whether it's a shark or an eel, and more, over the course of some 120+ comments.

And if you're looking for the funny, you can do well with David at comment #116.

ETA: My new favorite comment: Hi. I’m not dead. — Posted by Eel Shark

It's not until #168 that someone finally makes a Steve Zissou joke. The thread is still chugging along, still with more Japan-bashing, and some solid (if a bit tl;dr-ish) comments enjoining the readers to, you know, get all the facts before spouting off. Not that it stops anyone from continuing to spout off about the rape of the oceans and who's got the worst ecological record, etc. Good times.


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[info]pharae
2007-01-26 03:02 am UTC (link)
... I'm no fish expert, and I don't know if they touched the thing before taking the video, but it didn't look too healthy in the first place.

Why are all these commenters practically screaming "OMFG RAPTOR SHARK JESUS THE FRILLED SHARK DIED FOR OUR SINS!11!?!"

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]ayezur
2007-01-26 04:28 am UTC (link)
Yeah. Reuters said the reason it didn't live long was because it was sick and old and beat up to begin with, not because the Japanese scientists damaged it. 'M pretty sure frilled sharks live deeper than even the deepest deep-sea nets go, down where the stuff no one actually wants to eat anyway lives. My guess is it only surfaced to die.

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[info]brown_betty
2007-01-26 05:44 am UTC (link)
Although I'm not sure why it would

"Closer… I want to… see the sun, one last… aaaaaarrrggghhh….""

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]ayezur
2007-01-26 05:49 am UTC (link)
Well, it obviously wouldn't have the mental capacity to understand it was sick and dying, but instinct would guide it away from other predators because it'd be an easy meal now. Animals generally wander off alone to die; it's just one of those things.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]brown_betty
2007-01-26 05:51 am UTC (link)
Are there fewer predators in shallow water? I'd have predicted the reverse, but I freely admit this is based on such educational films as Jaws.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]ayezur
2007-01-26 05:56 am UTC (link)
Well, in the video I saw it was shallow enough that sunlight was reaching the ocean floor, and it didn't look to be around a coral reef or feeding zone, just bare sand.

The other possibility is that being old and sick made it disoriented and it wandered off into the shallows. Now that I think about it, that makes more sense than the other theory; otherwise we'd be flooded with creepy deepsea critters coming up to die.

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[info]semirecluse
2007-01-26 09:55 am UTC (link)
That would be awesome. In a Lovecraftian way.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


(Anonymous)
2007-01-27 03:20 am UTC (link)
I prefer to think it went more like this, honestly.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5a5Mp8tq-t4

(Reply to this)(Parent)


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