Ah, my alma mater.
Gather around, boys and girls and...whatever you are over there. I bring you the story of the First Great Flame War of 07.

Once upon a time, in the land of fucked-up weather Michigan, there was a tiny university and a corresponding LJ community by the name of Ferris State. The denizens of this university were usually happy. Drunk, but happy.

But, alas, this happiness was not meant to last, for lo! A denizen looked around at the snow and her fellow students who did not brush snow off their cars as she would like and she was displeased:

What is WITH you assholes that don't have enough sense to clean your fucking cars off before getting in them to drive off? Then when you get into an accident, you're going to wonder; "Well, why did this happen to me?" It only takes a second to wipe the snow from your windows, taillights and headlights.

Which brings me to another point... is it really that hard for you other assholes to turn your headlights on during a low-visibility snow storm? The same goes for you, when you get smacked into, think about how you would have prevented it by just flipping a switch!

Many of the fair posters in this community think she is making a mountain out of a mole hill and for a while, things were wanky but not terribly funny. Fear not, for soldmykidonebay cannot resist the opportunity to jab at wyckedangel:

Looks like the only thing you've ever bitten was from Hostess.

Hir brave encounter with wyckedangel brings kuntryfresh and wantone out of hiding and wanking hard enough to produce another future Ferris denizen. There are accusations of incest and jabs at appearances, but, dear wankas, the dreaded Godwin's violation appears at the end of the thread.

For a day, there was peace in the land. kuntryfresh, however, cannot stay below hir bridge for long and comes out to taunt the three goats wyckedangel. Blood has been drawn and the denizens sense that wyckedangel is weak. Insults abound and there is much humor to behold.

But, it does not end there, wankas. kuntryfresh once again makes a post, this time amazing the fair citizens with macros gleamed from the land of somethingawful. wyckedangel, determined to show that she is not weak, posts and keeps posting.

The mighty heinrick rides in on hir steed of white and attempts to make peace:

I suppose frat parties, drinking, and polluting communities with this shit are more useful?

How about you both shut up.

wyckedangel, realizing that this is the wo/man that the fairy godmother told her about, tries to prove that she is indeed a fair citizen:

I know this can't be directed at me. I wouldn't pay someone to be my friend (frats, sororities, etc.). I only drink when my number one priority (School and studying) are taken care of. And I didn't start the nit-picking and bickering. I made a useful post about safety.

Alas, something shiny caught heinrick's eye and s/he grabbed hir camera to photograph it, abandoning wyckedangel to the others.

The final fight comes not with a bang but a whimper as wyckedangel and kuntryfresh lock horns in an epic battle of "You're stupid." "No, you." The battle lasts through another thread and all looks bleak in the land of Ferris State.

And then, in a flash of light (no, really; it's practically seizure inducing), the great knight callit rides against them and puts a stop to the war.

wyckedangel and kuntryfresh creep away to lick their wounds and plot against each other. But, for now, a tenuous peace fell over the land and the denizens were able to laugh again.