Oh, Gawker. Why don't I read you more often? Why? I am enthralled here.

Also, Eric Schaeffer is pure, distilled, hilariously tl;dr ew. Ew!

i also know how much time he spends surfing the web, probably reading each and every blurb about himself as he masturbates at 2 am while eating non-dairy chocolate. and hating himself for it.

Hi, Eric! Have you tried horses? I hear they're the marrying type!