Current mood:	Manorexic
Entry tags:	person: eric schaeffer, there's a reason you're still single

TL;DR, Douchebags, and Stalkerblogs; OH MY!
I'll try to keep it short.

OK, so there's this guy named Eric Schaeffer who acts and directs and stuff, and also suffers from manorexia. But most importantly, he wonders why he's still single. Let's see if we can figure it out, shall we? Is it the cutoff age for his potential mate so she can still pop out his puppies (36, when he's 45)? Is it the fact that he says "Namaste" all the time? Is it the tl;dr? I wonder.

But Gawker doesn't wonder, they know. It's because Eric's a douchebag, which they painstakingly let us know. Over and over again.

Unfortunately, the rise in blog hits alerted Eric that something might be awry. So, he lets Gawker know that "I AM YOU"...and also that he practices deep-throating dildos. No, really. Scroll down. Gawker says nanny-nanny-poo-poo (I'm totally paraphrasing. Almost.)

See also:
--"I ♥ Eric!" "No, Eric is a douche" rambling
--I Know Why You're Still Single, complete with cafepress store.

Assholes for everyone...on me!

(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)

rewil
2007-02-06 11:56 pm UTC (link)

Industrial accident waiting to happen:

I have a friend who refuses to go in Jacuzzis. She once got sick from the bacteria in one and feels they are cesspools of evil, and though I'm not proud of it and would never do it again, I will admit that I once held my dick up against one of the jets in the one on the roof of a seriously fancy hotel and let it jerk me off until I came. I know, it's fucking so wrong in every way and so unlike me. It was ten years ago, I mean I was still 34, and I was sober, it's not like I was a drunk 16 year old so I have no excuse really I know. I don't know, LA, man, it fucks with my whole trip.

And the Jacuzzi never called back, either, that disappointing whore!

(Reply to this)(Thread)

	(Anonymous) 2007-02-07 12:36 am UTC (link)
	I lol'd, but I now know someone else who'll refuse to go into jacuzzis from now on. cries (Reply to this)(Parent)

	keleri 2007-02-07 02:10 am UTC (link)
	Reminds me of that one TLC program, "10 Stupidest Things" or something to that effect. One of them was some guy putting his member (hehe, member is 12) into one of the intake valves or something, and they had to call a plumber or someone to extricate him from his predicament. ...snerk "predicament". Hee hee! (Reply to this)(Parent)

	littlest_lurker 2007-02-07 02:57 am UTC (link)
	Oh god, Chuck Palahniuk flashback. D: (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	onaga 2007-02-07 04:45 am UTC (link)
	DDDDDDDD: (Reply to this)(Parent)

	(Anonymous) 2007-02-07 01:19 pm UTC (link)
	First thing I thought of, too. Thanks for ruining swimming pools and such for me, Chuck winces marystmatthew@lj (Reply to this)(Parent)

	big_bad_wolf 2007-02-07 09:29 pm UTC (link)
	If only. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	v_digitalwytch 2007-02-13 07:55 pm UTC (link)
	My boyfriend, the paramedic who's seen far worse than that story, still cringes when I even mention the word 'Guts'. (Reply to this)(Parent)

(Read comments) -