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Gun o' the Pants ([info]gun) wrote in [info]otf_wank,
@ 2007-02-11 09:45:00


Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
alan sokal would turn in his grave if he were dead
Some jackass COMEDIC GENIUS writes a "satirical" piece about how ZOMGAWESOME rape is for everyone.

Nobody else gets the humour.

The college newspaper it was printed in has a bit of a whinge:

Our editorial staff was unaware that only “official” journalists benefit from the right of freedom of the press—we happen to believe that all citizens of this country enjoy that right—but even if only “official” journalists are entitled, who gets to decide what makes a journalist “official” in the first place? Must they be published in a regular, hard-copy newspaper, or should a devoted blogger who follows journalistic procedure be considered “official” as well?

We are of the opinion that all journalists are “official,” regardless of if they are published in the Hartford Courant, The Recorder or slate.com. There is not, after all, any magical “journalist certificate” that is required by law for someone to carry a tape recorder.

As such, all journalists should be treated with an equal amount of respect. It is absolutely inexcusable for some journalists to be censored or imprisoned while others roam free, and it is certainly in contradiction to everything this nation supposedly values.


LOL SENSITIVE.

Feministe.Us points out, in a most FTW fashion:

Predictably, the mouth-breathing editors at the Central Connecticut State University newspaper claim that it’s “satire,” and that Petroski is a “gifted satirist” (no, seriously) and his brilliance simply “fell on deaf ears.”

It’s a shame that, for all his satirical brilliance, he couldn’t find an equally brilliant copy editor to correct his repeated use of the word “benifits.”


They find even more excerpts of his genius, where he manages to break Snacky's Law by bitching about the mean girls at school who won't sleep with him. Funny, that, you'd think they'd be lining up around the block to bang such a worthy piece of cock:

They seem to still think that they’re invincible, or that their good looks and charm will see them through life. While that might work for a while, there are some harsh realities to face. Ladies, your breasts will sag and there will always be a younger model right around the corner, anyway.

I'm wanking it because it's caused a fair bit of stir over the internets the past few days and at any rate, some of the smackdowns in the comments are just beautiful:

Is there any chance this thing may be full-blown satire, what with the spelling mistakes and all? I mean, “flidgling nation”?



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[info]lottelita
2007-02-11 05:39 am UTC (link)
The occasional tasteless joke around your friends, who all know you're kidding and have expressed their comfort with irreverent treatment of said subject? Understandable.

But there's a reason you don't tell Holocaust jokes to perfect strangers, and if this guy hasn't figured that out yet ... I've got a special shower set up to put him out of his misery.

(Reply to this)


[info]akilika
2007-02-11 05:40 am UTC (link)
It's days like this . . .

Well, okay, I don't feel ashamed to be a college journalist. I mean, I've got a fairly solid belief that so long as I do my best, and don't fuck up too terribly, I'm not culpable at all for the other idiots out there. Though I had reservations about some of the comics I drew.

But damn. It's at least going to be a little bit harder to admit in public. -_-;

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]felinephoenix
2007-02-11 10:00 am UTC (link)
Since I'm too tired to say something funny, I'll just say Word.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]seiberwing
2007-02-11 05:45 am UTC (link)
Is he supposed to be satirizing anything in particular here, or is he just being an asshat in general?

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]mistressrenet
2007-02-11 11:56 pm UTC (link)
I'm voting 'general asshat.'

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]seiberwing, 2007-02-12 12:18 am UTC

[info]tiasian
2007-02-11 05:49 am UTC (link)
... how contemptible.

"Pseudo-subject".

Yeah... "pseudo-fuckwit".

(Reply to this)(Thread)


(Anonymous)
2007-02-11 06:58 am UTC (link)
Oh, no, this guy isn't a pseudo-fuckwit, he's a full blown one.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]tiasian, 2007-02-11 06:03 pm UTC

[info]luthe
2007-02-11 06:08 am UTC (link)
I live in Connecticut. Can I go and hurt these sorry excuses for sentient turds, pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease? I'll take pictures to share!

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]ecchaniz0r, 2007-02-11 06:13 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]utahraptor, 2007-02-11 07:26 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]caffeine_fairy, 2007-02-12 07:59 pm UTC

(Anonymous)
2007-02-11 07:00 am UTC (link)
How precious. Instead of maybe 'satirizing' how rape is way more connected with power and dehumanization than sex appeal, he uses the article as a chance to laugh at "ugly women". 'Cause ugly women deserve to get laughed at, just like they deserve - oh sorry, are lucky enough - to get raped.

My favorite part, though, is when he asserts that "no self-respecting man would rape in the first place." Uh, actually, no woman-respecting man would rape in the first place, asshole.

-thermopylae_h

(Reply to this)


[info]isntitironic
2007-02-11 07:36 am UTC (link)
I knew that cat macro post would come in handy!

Dear Asshole:

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]female_fanboy, 2007-02-11 05:27 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2007-02-11 08:32 pm UTC

[info]soupspooks
2007-02-11 08:57 am UTC (link)
Didn't... didn't we have some nut on LJ who went on and on about how rape was acceptable in nature? He said he did 'research', and this feels like that very research.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - magpiggles, 2007-02-11 12:15 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]kahteh, 2007-02-11 05:39 pm UTC
(no subject) - magpiggles, 2007-02-11 05:53 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]darkeyes, 2007-02-11 08:39 pm UTC
(no subject) - magpiggles, 2007-02-11 09:16 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]seiberwing, 2007-02-12 12:16 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]maureenlycaon, 2007-02-12 04:28 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]seiberwing, 2007-02-12 04:43 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]soupspooks, 2007-02-11 06:23 pm UTC

[info]felinephoenix
2007-02-11 09:58 am UTC (link)
Stop making my future career look stupid. It doesn't need the help.

Oh, right, okay. Bring the funny. So, a journalist walks into a bar...

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - capybara, 2007-02-11 11:54 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]napalmnacey, 2007-02-11 12:29 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]prettypinkkitty, 2007-02-12 05:18 am UTC

[info]aaron_agonistes
2007-02-11 10:32 am UTC (link)
Okay. This guy needs a)to be slapped, b)a dictionary, and c)slapped again.

That said, and having read though the comments, I just have to point out that satire? Does not have to be funny.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]cookie_love, 2007-02-11 04:21 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]aaron_agonistes, 2007-02-12 12:31 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]fionnabhair, 2007-02-14 05:02 am UTC

(Anonymous)
2007-02-11 11:57 am UTC (link)
Ladies, your breasts will sag and there will always be a younger model right around the corner, anyway.

Men who talk like this never seem to realize that their penises will wrinkle, their potbellies will sag, their hair will thin, and there will always be a younger model right around the corner. A younger model who doesn't keep Viagra in his wallet.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]ecchaniz0r, 2007-02-11 05:13 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2007-02-11 08:33 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]doc_lydgate, 2007-02-11 09:06 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]prettypinkkitty, 2007-02-12 05:25 am UTC

[info]napalmnacey
2007-02-11 12:31 pm UTC (link)
After watching the Youtube of the editor, I can see how this got through.

What a snivelly, snide little jerk. You can tell he hates everyone at the University who he thinks is 'cooler' than him. You know he never gets invited to the good parties. Jerk.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]gun, 2007-02-12 01:32 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]napalmnacey, 2007-02-12 02:15 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]evilsqueakers, 2007-02-12 05:34 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]napalmnacey, 2007-02-13 01:45 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]evilsqueakers, 2007-02-13 01:47 am UTC

[info]julesnoctambule
2007-02-11 07:21 pm UTC (link)
. . .I don't suppose this guy would be getting defended if he'd written his piece about people whose skin wasn't the same colour as his.

It appears that women are, as ever, 'fair game'.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]doc_lydgate, 2007-02-11 09:08 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]julesnoctambule, 2007-02-11 11:29 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]akairis, 2007-02-12 12:50 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2007-02-12 04:38 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]julesnoctambule, 2007-02-12 05:44 pm UTC

(Anonymous)
2007-02-11 07:38 pm UTC (link)
Hookay, that asshole?

He should do the following:

1) Look up the proper definition of "satire", "funny", and "lols".
2) Staple his mouth shut and be whacked to death
3) Be sent to a country where freedom of speech is abolished
4) Get his first amendment rights revoked ASAP
5) Get gang-banged so everyone can lol

Oh wait, the last one will be at his level. Nevermind! First four still stands.

(Reply to this)


[info]doc_lydgate
2007-02-11 08:35 pm UTC (link)
Is Mr. Petroski aware that satire is supposed to have a point?

(Reply to this)


[info]ayezur
2007-02-11 10:06 pm UTC (link)
What's great is that this follows on the heels of SomeGuy in my academic writing class wanting to know why Swift would write something as horrible and obscene as A Modest Proposal.

Later he revealed that he didn't even know what Victorian England was. You know, there's such a thing as understandable ignorance. That? Not it.

(Reply to this)


[info]waterfront
2007-02-11 11:37 pm UTC (link)
What in the heck is he satirizing? Himself?

(Reply to this)


(Anonymous)
2007-02-12 02:34 am UTC (link)
Somehow, all this guy's misspellings make me think of Lena Lamont in Singing in the Rain yelling "An I KINT STINNIT!"

For all her shortcomings, she would have whipped this guy's ass.

- immoralilly

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]pfeffermuse, 2007-02-13 02:20 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2007-02-14 02:17 am UTC

[info]prettypinkkitty
2007-02-12 05:27 am UTC (link)
I'm at least glad that I know that guy's name, so if I ever run into him in any situation, professional or social, I know how to interact with him. Perhaps with pepper spray.

(Reply to this)


[info]aerobot
2007-02-12 12:53 pm UTC (link)
Wow, I'm not even offended by this at all. Because he's trying so, so so so so so hard to edgy and witteh with all of his little heart, it'd be tragic if it wasn't just so fucking boring to read.

Come on, man, if you're going to make an idiot of yourself, put some EFFORT into it.

(Reply to this)


[info]fevered_ego
2007-02-13 11:09 am UTC (link)
Cockface ought to rewrite his article and frame it as the drunken self-justifications of a rapist. This time make it dark satire, rich with irony and anger.

Readers do not want to be amused and uplifted with a good laugh when the so-called joke is our culture's sick attitudes toward women. To get past the "OH NO YOU DIDN'T" wall of outrage, you have to take a stand, and it has to be detectable through the use of subtle hint and sarcasm.

Worst of all, he adds nothing to the "rape is bad but let's pretend it's good" premise except a loud, crude and undeserved attitude of "LOL." If he is confused about why this is pissing people off, he ought to go into a less challenging career where tone and nuance is not a vital part of not getting one's ass kicked by angry mobs of women.

Homework assigmment for Cockface: Listen to George Carlin's "Rape Can Be Funny" on repeat for six hours. Realize you will never be able to top it because you are a stupid head. Give up and die.

Late to the party,
Professor Looka

(Reply to this)


magpiggles
2007-02-13 10:27 pm UTC (link)
And the wank spreads to real world news.

http://www.newsday.com/news/local/wire/connecticut/ny-bc-ct--editorialprotest0213feb13,0,2232978.story?coll=ny-region-apconnecticut

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2007-02-14 07:49 pm UTC


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